For women: "Your husband must be happy..."

JStarnes

I know that with increased weight loss Sex drives picks up significantly maybe that's what they are suggesting.

This. :laugh: that was the first and best perk of the weight loss, IMO. I welcome the compliments.

Drunkadelic

If people said that to me, it would make me feel like *kitten*.

But, I think they were doing their best to compliment you?

Do your best to not let it bother you. You know deep down that your man would be happy with you no matter what

_SusieQ_

Considering the title of the topic is "For Women", then maybe you shouldn't have bothered to come in and call us all stupid. That doesn't help. In case you did not know, women and men do think differently. I promise you that I find it completely insane that my husband can quote sports statistics from before he was even born, yet has difficulty remembering bdays. But I don't call him stupid for it. My only point was, don't be so rude. It's hurtful, and NOT helpful.

A man's point of view on things that women tend to overanalyze is always a good thing, helps to see things from a different perspective. But when it comes in the form of insults, I personally file it in the "who gives a *kitten*" category.

liftingbro

Considering the title of the topic is "For Women", then maybe you shouldn't have bothered to come in and call us all stupid. That doesn't help. In case you did not know, women and men do think differently. I promise you that I find it completely insane that my husband can quote sports statistics from before he was even born, yet has difficulty remembering bdays. But I don't call him stupid for it. My only point was, don't be so rude. It's hurtful, and NOT helpful.

I didn't call anyone stupid but this topic is stupid. Again, reading more into a statement than is there.

I think it's people being over sensative and it drive people nuts. All the women here are the same ones that would complain about their husbands not finding them more attractive now that they are fit, if that was the case. "Oh...he hardly notices how much I lost.....blubber, blubber".
+

Hellbent_Heidi

Question. Do you all read this far into every statement people say? If you do, life must be a living hell.

ummmm, yeah...that's what us women do...we overanalyze things and read into them. Its really not our fault - its a girl thing!

Thanks for being honest. That's my point, this is all just stupid. By time this thread is over not only will this be an insult someone's hubby will have been cheating on them as a result.

I kinda think that why the OP started the thread with "For Women:", because there's a huge difference in how women perceive things compared to men....we might be oversensitive, but we know exactly what she's thinking when she hears these things.

With all due respect, I'm sure there are plenty of things guys think that we would find stupid as well....

liftingbro

Question. Do you all read this far into every statement people say? If you do, life must be a living hell.

ummmm, yeah...that's what us women do...we overanalyze things and read into them. Its really not our fault - its a girl thing!

Thanks for being honest. That's my point, this is all just stupid. By time this thread is over not only will this be an insult someone's hubby will have been cheating on them as a result.

I kinda think that why the OP started the thread with "For Women:", because there's a huge difference in how women perceive things compared to men....we might be oversensitive, but we know exactly what she's thinking when she hears these things.

With all due respect, I'm sure there are plenty of things guys think that we would find stupid as well....

Thanks for proving the point. So, now, if this is clearly being oversensative and mostly "how women perceive things" then perhaps people shouldn't be making people who are trying to complement them sound like little Hitlers?

SmartFunGorgeous

This--->

I can understand how it would be perceived this way, but it seems like it might be a person's way of trying to be positive without sounding condescending. For example, if an acquaintance were to say that he or she were proud of you or happy for you, it might feel insincere, because he or she isn't really close enough to you to have those emotions. But commenting on how proud you must be making your significant other, it would be acknowledging your accomplishments in a genuine manner.

I've noticed that numerous people are both awkward at giving and receiving compliments, so when we work the rusty compliment muscle, it can sometimes be awkward. Just smile, say how proud of yourself you both are, and move on. I truly believe that for the main, this is just a poorly done compliment.

This--->

People say stupid crap. We all say stupid crap. A lot of times people don't know the right thing to say and they make jack-*kitten* comments.

You said these people are not your friends so what does it REALLY matter.

And whose spouse wouldn't be happy with a healthy partner that is going to live longer. (Even though, I suspect this isn't what they meant)

And THIS-->

Question. Do you all read this far into every statement people say? If you do, life must be a living hell.

I swear, just take it for what it is, a simple complement.

Also, how do you equate this with the person saying your husband wasn't attracted to you in the first place? Maybe he simply thinks you are even more attractive now?

This hyper sensative bull crap is what is driving the world into the sewer.

Hellbent_Heidi

Thanks for proving the point. So, now, if this is clearly being oversensative and mostly "how women perceive things" then perhaps people shouldn't be making people who are trying to complement them sound like little Hitlers?

Because she's just venting...that's all, and we've all wondered if there was a hidden message behind these "compliments" (women do that too...make overly sweet 'compliments' that have hidden cattiness behind them).

I'm not sure why you're letting a thread titled "For women..." get you so worked up though. If its all so stupid to you, why do you keep reading and commenting?

bethdris

I've heard those comments too...I thought hmm...I've been happily married almost 12 years and used to weigh a high of 283. He didn't love me any more/less than he does at 150. Some ppl need to zip tie their mouths shut!

GemmaRowlands

My boyfriend is less attracted to me now. He fell in love with me because he has a thing for plus sized ladies, and he's actually disappointed that I've gone down from a size 22 to a size 14. And I'm planning on going down even further.

I refuse to keep the weight on just because he's attracted to it, though. My health was suffering badly, and it was totally the right time to lose weight.

CakeFit21

Question. Do you all read this far into every statement people say? If you do, life must be a living hell.

ummmm, yeah...that's what us women do...we overanalyze things and read into them. Its really not our fault - its a girl thing!

We do not all do this! Your statement is a cop out. We should not just chuck rational thought out the window because we have a vagina. It's insulting.

calibri

Most of my co-workers assume I'm a lesbian anyway.

deniseg31

Wow, I do apologize - I did not mean for peolple to start arguing over this "stupid" topic.

Yes, a lot of women think differently from men and hence the topic/subject line.

Thank you all, for commenting on this topic. I can now see that I am not the only one that has received these type of comments from other people and I am also not the only one to be offended by them. I will try however to see them as a compliment instead of something other than.

I am very sorry for the rude posts.

LorinaLynn

After running a dating advice site for a dozen years, women are sooooooooo not the only ones who read too much into things.

"OMG, she blinked twice and touched her hair when I talked to her... WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?" :laugh:

People read too much into things. Men, women, both.

But, yes, I find it a little insulting when someone suggests that I lost weight for my husband's viewing pleasure. I don't lose sleep over the comments, but I do roll my eyes at them. On the inside. I wouldn't roll my eyes to someone's face because that would be more rude than their comment, which was likely not intended to be rude.

ab_shutterbug

I wouldn't take it that way. I think they are happy for your husband that he is maybe getting more action, even though it's really none of their biz! People are certainly strange! lol

feliciapeters

the wife of a co-worker asked "how does your husband like your new body"
its NOT a new body, it's the OLD one I had before 5 kids & a desk job

paper_doll_

I think my fist would be happy... connecting with their noses if they said something like that to me.

TheBraveryLover

No, I've never gotten such comments, but I totally understand you feeling uncomfortable with those comments. It seems as if some people really think being overweight is the worst thing in the world and that everyone thinks like them. It's a bit delusional in my opinion.

ziggylove

Gosh that is pretty rude for people to say. Why don't they just say, "I'm so happy for you!" or a simple compliment or word of encouragement-- I mean, why bring your hubby into it at all. Just so odd. !

karenjoy

the comment I get is 'I bet Bill is happy you didn't lose the boobs/puppies' or things along those lines, always from guys who know him. I just think they are guys and take no notice

My husband IS happy I lost weight, really happy. Thinks I look hot and is proud of me. I don't think it is a bad thing, it's not saying he didn't love me when I was fat, because he did, he married me when I was fat. But he IS allowed to be happy that he has a hot new improved wife, one that is healthier, fitter, looks better in my clothes, can do more with him, gets less tired, less breathless and stands a much lower chance of developing life limiting condition's, what would it say about him if he WASN'T happy?

I have decided that some people who are on this journey are a tad over-sensitive and negative and take even the most well meant COMPLIMENTS as a bad thing, I like to take them as COMPLIMENTS, after all, he bloody should be happy, his wife is looking SMOKIN'

i_love_vinegar

Men often tell me, "You are gonna make some man really happy one day."

I take it as a compliment, and I dont think those people meant it as an insult. ^^ I think they were just trying to say, "Your husband is one lucky man"

Hellbent_Heidi

Question. Do you all read this far into every statement people say? If you do, life must be a living hell.

ummmm, yeah...that's what us women do...we overanalyze things and read into them. Its really not our fault - its a girl thing!

We do not all do this! Your statement is a cop out. We should not just chuck rational thought out the window because we have a vagina. It's insulting.

:flowerforyou:

I guess what they're trying to tell me is by putting "for women" it means don't bother there will be no rational thought going on in here? You are right that would be insulting.

Let me clairfy..I never said "all" women do this, but you can't deny its a woman thing to read more into these kinds of comments. Its also a fact that a lot of women (again...not saying all women) will make comment that might appear to be compliments on the surface, but have an underlying insult that is clear (and men don't necessarily 'get' that message, because they didn't grow up as a girl). It has nothing to do with rational or irrational thoughts...its just that women tend to see through those comments and get the catty message underneath, and sometimes even if a straight out compliment is made, we tend to be 'suspicious' of the message.

ladyhawk00

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