Child-Free? Negativity from others?

servilia

To the OP, you are just as ridiculous and judgmental as the people you talk about in your post.

did i miss something? :indifferent:

I must have missed it also.

Yeah you missed the part where she disses people who DO choose to have children. Hypocrite much?

BloomingLily

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Yeah you missed the part where she disses people who DO choose to have children. Hypocrite much?
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I went back and read it again. Are you talking about the question regarding bringing another life for your own benefit?

servilia

I'm talking about this part, where she calls people who have childred selfish:
"People often think that people who choose not to have kids are selfish, but personally I see it the other way around. Why bring another person into this world for your own benefit? There are lots of children waiting to be adopted already. "

Basically she's passing judgment on people who DO have their own kids. How is she any different then from the people who criticize HER choices? For the record I don't care who has or does not have kids. But it's funny how she gets upset about people being judgmental and does the same herself

i_love_vinegar

I'm talking about this part, where she calls people who have childred selfish:
"People often think that people who choose not to have kids are selfish, but personally I see it the other way around. Why bring another person into this world for your own benefit? There are lots of children waiting to be adopted already. "

Basically she's passing judgment on people who DO have their own kids. How is she any different then from the people who criticize HER choices? For the record I don't care who has or does not have kids. But it's funny how she gets upset about people being judgmental and does the same herself

I didnt catch that part. ^^ I think she was trying to say how hypocritical other people are insulting her for not having kids, but in doing so she also became hypocritical. >_<

I think she mentioned that though because in real life she probably does not say anything to people who decided to have kids, but people say stuff to her for deciding not to ^^

swimmchick87

Ditto! I'm only 24, but I have NO desire to have children. I find it ridiculous that in 2011 society still sees it as our "duty" as women to have children- like I'm expected to want them just because I'm a woman. I'm a teacher- I actually love kids. However, I don't want to have my own! I see kids all day, those are my kids! Unfortunately, teaching seems to be such a family-oriented career that I get crap for my opinons from coworkers all the time. I get the very condescending "you'll change your mind" too. I also think some of them feel like they need to defend themselves (lots of babies happening at work right now) to me b/c I might judge them for wanting kids (I don't) so that act defensive and then get on me even more for not wanting them. Unfortunately, I'm an only child and my parents desperately want grandchildren. IF I ever decided I wanted kids when I'm older (much older), I'd for sure want to adopt. The whole pregnancy and giving birth thing sounds like the most horrid experience in the world to me- all of it! I don't want to experience that anyway, and there are so many kids already here that need homes through adoption.

daffodilsoup

22 here - BF and I have discussed this at length, and if I ever do have children, it will be through adoption and I would have to be at least 35-40, established, etc. A lot of people tell me that it's 'selfish', but we want to be able to travel, go away for weekends on a moment's notice, pursue our own interests, all the things that the responsibility of caring for a child usually takes away. If things do change down the road, I'd be very interested in international adoption.

For my whole life, kids have just sort of gotten on my nerves. When encountering a newborn or young child, my friends will 'ooh' and 'aah' and talk about how adorable they are, and while they can certainly be cute, I never really understood the appeal of having my own. I have a large family so I spend a lot of time caring for my cousins' children and am generally good with them, but I really have no desire to experience pregnancy or childbirth. At the end of the day, I get to hand my cousins' crying, cranky kids back to them and go about living my own life. My parents are sure it's a phase that I'll grow out of, but who knows.

Kudos to you for sticking to what you feel is right. You have my support - I never really saw how it was 'selfish' to bring yet another child into an already overpopulated planet

Lozzy_82

I don't currently have children and I don't know if I will ever want them. I have always thought "sure, someday when I'm ready", but I'm now married and nearly 30 and don't feel any closer to being ready than I did when I was a teenager! It's getting pretty tough as my husband is very much ready to be a dad and it's breaking my heart that I don't feel able to give that to him. I am so sick of the questions from friends and family about when we'll be having babies because it just makes me feel so guilty and selfish for not wanting them I want more than anything to WANT to have kids, but I can't make it happen.

grrrlface

I'm 22, went of the rails at 16, only just got back to college and setting myself up for a career. My BF doesn't want kids... Yet. I'm not sure. I would like to work in a proper job, move out into our own house, travel the world and get married first. Does that make me selfish? I don't think so. My parents always told me that it's more selfish to bring a child into the world if you cannot afford the time to love and look after it and the money to provide the best life you can for it. I agree with this and if the day came that I decided I wanted kids ever then I'd make sure we were in a comfortable situation first.

sinclare

I wanted kids but it didn't happen. People are so nosy and I just learned to lie a little and tell them that I couldn't have any. It's better than getting into a long discussion about it. And it shuts them up.

snorktharpe

i do not have kids and somehow never really thought i would. i don't mind but i do find that many of my friends seem to feel sorry for me or are doubtful that it doesn't really bother me. i do love kids and i've learned that i also have maternal instincts. but i left it up to God and don't question it or miss having kids. but i do perceive a sort of "superior" attitude by some women who did have them- friends, etc., its as if they're convinced i envy them and refuse to believe i'm okay about not having kids. but there were never any circumstances under which i would've aborted a baby.