Home Wrecker!!!

2

Replies

  • SexyChicWannaB
    SexyChicWannaB Posts: 6
    wow.. thanks for the multitude of responses.. in my heart i knew the answer before i even posted this but hearing it from everyone else makes it real.. getting swept away in memories of the past kind of blasted away my self-respect... thanks for bringing me back to earth everyone!
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
    Please stay away. HE says they are only together for the kids. You never know what SHE would say/think/feel. Put yourself in her shoes...you wouldn't want someone to do that to you.

    Exactly. This happened to me. He told the girl our marriage was long over when in my mind it wasn't.
  • Kikilarue59
    Kikilarue59 Posts: 81 Member
    Okay... The issue of you hooking up with him is this..
    He has a problem. That problem is HE is MARRIED. He is already hooked up whether you or he like it or not with someone else.
    If he is sincere about wanting to get together with you..
    He has to deal with HIS Problem. HE has to make the move and get Un hooked. with all the trials and tribulations that that ensues.
    This whole thing of creating another level of drama by getting together with you is bad news all around.
    DO NOT. get ensnared in HIS PROBLEM. DO NOT MAKe IT YOUR PROBLEM.

    Make him solve his problem befere you go any further.

    I say this for two reasons.

    1. By being the OTHER WOMAN. waiting in the wings while he is still married. you are already in a bad situation. his family and Kids will accuse you of braking up his marriage. YOU Don't want to become ensnared in that triangle. You will end up the loser.

    2. YOU just Plain deserve BETTER than to be second. Demand that for yourself if nothing else. He will either do it or he won't
    give it a timeline. SO you don't waste your life waiting, waiting, waiting. and stick to it.
  • Jean410
    Jean410 Posts: 104
    Been through this before...

    Two words: Walk away.

    Me too. Respect yourself and walk away.
  • Shanna_Inc86
    Shanna_Inc86 Posts: 781 Member
    Like everyone has said you already know...stay away...

    1. You can't build your happiness on other people's misery

    2. If you marry a man that cheated on his wife, you're married to man who'll cheat on his wife
  • april_beth
    april_beth Posts: 616 Member
    i think youre trolling the boards...no friends, zero pounds lost...you just join or are a troller...either way, youre boring me cause you already know the answer, if in fact, you are asking for real.
  • Purecity
    Purecity Posts: 115 Member
    Stay away. Do not get involved. If he eventually gets a divorce and looks for you then that will be that.

    This.
  • auntdeedee87
    auntdeedee87 Posts: 706 Member
    I think you know what you need to do or you wouldn't be asking us.

    I think you were hoping that we would help you justify this decision, but that is all you.

    There is a lot of gray area with emotions-- but there is not gray area with right or wrong here. He's married. He has KIDS.

    You deserve better than to be someone's second choice, his wife doesn't deserve to have you guys having this conversation behind her back, and those kids deserve the best those 2 can give them, regardless.

    Use your head on this one, lady.
  • Hoppymom
    Hoppymom Posts: 1,158 Member
    Don't go there. He's married and you know it's wrong. That's why you posted here. You want someone else to say it for you. Done. Find someone who's not sharing his life with someone else.
  • auntdeedee87
    auntdeedee87 Posts: 706 Member
    Also, from the child of a man who went behind his wife's back for years and lived a lie for who knows how long, I can tell you that the wife wouldn't be the only ones you are hurting.

    Respect yourself enough to say no.
  • LFDBabs
    LFDBabs Posts: 297 Member
    I was that wife! I had a perfectly wonderful marriage. Two kids, house, everyone in the neighborhood referred to us as "The Cleavers" and then 20 years later.....SHE showed up. The younger girl on the other end of the computer (he is a gamer). He walked out on us for her 4 years ago and has never looked back.

    The hurt THEY caused is almost irrepairable (almost). The kids were devastated ( and they're teenagers). They are still angry at him and the relationship between my husband and his sons is broken, maybe forever. They don't like her at all. I have no respect for her, but deal with her because I have to.

    Please have some respect for the wife, the family and most importantly yourself.....walk away.

    If, down the road, they divorce. That is when it is appropriate for him to come looking for you. You should NOT be his reason to leave.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    If he really likes you so much he will seek you out after his divorce.
  • stefchica
    stefchica Posts: 257 Member
    see that door?? run for it, and dont look back! from experience (this is while htey were separated or going through a divorce) DO NOT get involved unless he is A L O N E meaning no wifey attachments. because you will be just that, a homewrecker, do you want to have a Scarlett letter on your forehead? just stand your ground, not until he's completely separated!!! NO STRINGS ATTACHED!
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    What everyone else said. Leave it alone.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    Do you really need to ask?? Married with three kids.........maybe when he's divorced with three kids.

    Thank you for saying it nicer than I would have.
  • erinrose07
    erinrose07 Posts: 140
    Tell him that you're not getting involved whatsoever until divorce papers are in process. You'll only cause yourself and a whole lot of other people heartache. Plus, you should make him man up and be honorable about his marriage and you. If he really wants a relationship with you, he will do what's necessary before hurting anyone.
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
    wow.. thanks for the multitude of responses.. in my heart i knew the answer before i even posted this but hearing it from everyone else makes it real.. getting swept away in memories of the past kind of blasted away my self-respect... thanks for bringing me back to earth everyone!

    good decision. I agree with what's been posted...stay away. I can think of a lot more negatives that would result than positives. One negative I didn't see mentioned (though I didn't read everything) is ... what if his wife is the vengeful type? is he really worth a woman coming after you the rest of your life? I also point out that things have changed since you last knew this guy....although he may sound great on the web/phone/text/whatever, who knows what he's really like in real life. I'm a divorce attorney...I can tell you I've see a lot of these "dialogues" that sound like "pie in the sky greatness", only to watch how they crumble.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Run, don't walk.

    Its bad kharma for sure. If he leaves his wife and you want to date him then...do it, but wait till he's free & clear!
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
    Yeah, this could end bad in many different ways. If he gets divorced, fine, date him. But you don't want to be the reason he leaves his wife. Even if we were to take her and the kids out of the equation, if his feelings for you are real, then he should do right by you, man up, end the bad relationship on his own with a clean break, not a messy affair that will damage everyone.

    Problems with spouses are that you are so used to them that the grass is always greener on the other side, you might not be as compatible as you think and he will of sacrificed a marriage for nothing.
  • k2quiere
    k2quiere Posts: 4,151 Member
    Isn't this a plot line in Waiting to Exhale?
  • Schraudt814
    Schraudt814 Posts: 496 Member
    Definitely walk away...you say you "Don't want to lose him again" but he's married....so you don't have him. get away from him, no matter what the STATE of his marriage, he's still married.
  • iAMaPhoenix
    iAMaPhoenix Posts: 1,038 Member
    Do not listen to these people that are telling you to walk away. The smart thing to do is go to his house, knock on his door, and tell his wife what your intentions are...all while he is standing there with the three children. If you make it through that, then come back and let us know how that worked for you.
  • SexyChicWannaB
    SexyChicWannaB Posts: 6
    Do not listen to these people that are telling you to walk away. The smart thing to do is go to his house, knock on his door, and tell his wife what your intentions are...all while he is standing there with the three children. If you make it through that, then come back and let us know how that worked for you.

    i am soooooo trying this!!! lol - - thanks for the reality check!
  • SexyChicWannaB
    SexyChicWannaB Posts: 6
    oops
  • SexyChicWannaB
    SexyChicWannaB Posts: 6
    posted three times accidentally
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    Better hope his wife is nothing like me.
    I would hunt you down and cut your throat.
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
    Do not listen to these people that are telling you to walk away. The smart thing to do is go to his house, knock on his door, and tell his wife what your intentions are...all while he is standing there with the three children. If you make it through that, then come back and let us know how that worked for you.

    i am soooooo trying this!!! lol - - thanks for the reality check!

    I love you !! This is exactly what I did and now he is with me and I am wishing I would have walked away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    Do not listen to these people that are telling you to walk away. The smart thing to do is go to his house, knock on his door, and tell his wife what your intentions are...all while he is standing there with the three children. If you make it through that, then come back and let us know how that worked for you.

    i am soooooo trying this!!! lol - - thanks for the reality check!
    I think your reality check just bounced - Non-Sufficient Funds(NSF).
  • SexyChicWannaB
    SexyChicWannaB Posts: 6
    Do not listen to these people that are telling you to walk away. The smart thing to do is go to his house, knock on his door, and tell his wife what your intentions are...all while he is standing there with the three children. If you make it through that, then come back and let us know how that worked for you.

    i am soooooo trying this!!! lol - - thanks for the reality check!

    I love you !! This is exactly what I did and now he is with me and I am wishing I would have walked away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    lol good point!!! what do i know - - it's been like 10 years since i actually knew the guy.. he could be completely psycho by now!! Thanks MFPer's!! Consider me walked away!
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    Well since this post she has deactivated her account. She didn't get the response she wanted I guess. :(
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