'his' money and 'hers' money

godblessourhome

do you have separate accounts or is everything shared?

ninerbuff

I have my own checking, she has her own checking and we have a combined checking where we pool for home expenditures and bills.
Have NEVER had a fight about money.

tmontgomery69

Yep, we have own accounts. But we also have a joint account to put money into to pay the house payment......and we've NEVER fought about money.....been together for 10 years. It works GREAT for us.

dragonbait0126

We have a joint checking and savings. He's admittedly horrible with money so when we moved in together he said here and started giving me his paychecks. I make sure the bills are paid and if he wants to spend money of any significant amount he checks with me first to make sure we've got it covered. It's worked perfectly for us. My parents had his and her money and his and her bills and were both always griping about having to give the other one money. I've never understood that. Although it worked to my advantage because they would both give me money and tell me not to tell the other one, at least until I moved to Arizona at 19.(even though I had my own money from working myself). LOL

Tonnina

Shared in this house... He's the only one making money anyway!!

chuckyp

Separate accounts and we are each responsible for certain bills. We also have a shared account where we can pool money or transfer it to each other.
Works great because we don't need each others' permission to buy something one of us wants. If you are paying the bills your responsible for then have at it with the money you have left over. Of course this probably only works when you are dual income.

thetrishwarp

I have a 'hers' chequing and a 'hers' savings and a 'hers' VISA....but then again, I have no 'him.' :laugh:
Good luck on figuring out a solution!

McMehu

we have always shared and it works out great. We sit down and discuss our budget every couple months and we agree not to make any purchases over a couple bucks before letting each other know... not too hard if you are willing to budget and talk it through

Ashleypeterson37

Everything for us is joint.

megz4987

We have seperate checking accounts, we split the bills. No $ fights here as long as all bills are paid on time (heforgets)

gp79

When we married, everything became one.

NoAdditives

We have separate checking accounts but we both operate under the idea that it's all "our" money. We just like separate accounts so that we can each keep track of our money. If we had a joint account I know we'd run into trouble on days where we both run errands. We also never fight about money. We both know that if we need something (new clothes, shoes, etc.) we'll be able to get it, and if we can't it's because we absolutely don't have the money, not because someone has mismanaged their money or just doesn't want to share.

jilers

I am getting married in April and this is one of the topics on the table. Our solution is 3 accounts: his, hers and ours.

wannababyH

Our money is shared, but we have separate accounts because that was the only way wells fargo would give me a debit card.

questionablemethods

When we married, everything became one.

Same. Our thinking is that we're a team and "he whole is greater than the sum of its parts and all that. All of income and everything gets put into one shared account.

We do have our own checking accounts where we transfer (equal amounts) of spending cash "allowances" each month. This is the money that we can spend without getting it "approved by a joint committee session" but there isn't a whole lot in those accounts on a monthly basis. None of our paychecks go into that account or anything.

(Besides, I would like to stay home with our kids at least part time so won't be making nearly as much as him anyway -- doesn't mean I'll be doing any less important and valuable work! :happy: )

cheeksv

I am actually not working and just going to school. So his money is my money haha.I do have another account at a separate bank though. Hubby is not a fantastic saver so it helps keeping the savings out of sight and out of mind. This way he can focus on the bills and other spending and I can focus on the saving.Also if the bank closes for some reason and you need money. It is a good way to always have a form of tender at your disposal.Our bank closed for updates, the website, the branches everything! So having that extra account for checks and some extra cash was a good thing.

flyawaybyebye

He makes most of our income and is generally more responsible with money, so we're both happy that he's in charge of our main account, which pays the mortgage and household bills. These are a fixed amount every month, pretty much. We take what is left over after that is paid and split it evenly. My small income gets factored into what is "even", so he keeps a certain amount and pays me enough to make it so that, with what he pays me, we have the same amount to spend. When everything was joint, we fought a lot about money, so this way, our main stuff is joint, but we can each delegate what is left over however we choose to without having to explain it to one another. My money is kept in a separate checking account, and he uses the main account.

emily773

Same account- learned the hard way that one person should be the "accountant".
I'm pretty sure that money is one of those Big Things people argue about. Having no head for math, I was happy to turn it over.

femmerides

we are joint all the way. it works for us. :-) plus, i'm a stay at home mom so having seperate accounts couldn't really be possible. lol

dnsrmr

When we got 2gether (married), what was his and what was mine became OURS including bank account - although we were both responsible spenders & always consulted with each other if we wanted 2 mk a large purchase. So why am I so broke now. LOL j/k

xraychick77

we have hers and hers money.

we share accounts. both paychecks go in and used to pay bills and for fun etc.

significance

We have a joint account for all our money, but also each have a weekly pocket money amount that doesn't need to be accounted for. This pays for music, books and movies, my mobile phone, electronic gadgets, clothes and accessories that we want but don't need, junk food and bought lunches, nights out with friends... basically anything that we spend on ourselves that doesn't benefit both of us and isn't really necessary. (If we go out together, the costs come from common funds).

The "pocket money" idea means that we keep track and keep a limit on what we spend on frivolous things, and ensures that this sort of spending is divided fairly between us without having to consult (and potentially argue) over every expenditure. As an added bonus, it means I think twice about spending money on junk food. We have enough money as a couple that I wouldn't notice the price of a chocolate bar from common funds, but pocket money is tight enough that I do notice.

natika33

I don't have a "him" right now, but some friends of mine have been married for 10 years and lived together for 5 years before that with never a fight about money. It was especially interesting because their salary differences were huge. My previous experience had always led me to believe that salary disparities led to fighting and unfairness, so I asked them about it.

They have a joint account for bills, house payments etc. and separate accounts for personal spending. (his and her accounts). They know roughly what their bills will be every month, so they calculated how much that account needed to be (with a bit of a cushion for sudden emergencies etc.). Every paycheque, they each top up the joint account according to their salaries. So... since she makes significantly more than him, she contributes about 70% of the joint account money and he accounts for about 30%.

That leaves their his and her accounts with roughly the same amount of money. They can use that money how they wish. For big expenditures like travelling together which they consider a luxury and therefore not part of the joint account, they both save for the trip and go on it when they both can afford to pay their half. Since their his and hers accounts are roughly the same, it takes them roughly the same amount of time to save.

It's awesome because they don't fight and they both feel like they are pulling their own weight in the relationship. They also don't feel resentment for the other because one can afford to splurge all the time and the other can't.

It also means they can treat each other from time to time (sometimes with big things even) without asking the other because that money is "hidden" from the other anyway.

If I ever have a "him" one day, I hope to use the same system.

Lyadeia

We just got married in July, but we still have separate accounts. It is not "his" money versus "my" money, though. We both pay bills, mortgage, car payments, etc. and if one or the other is running low on money we just transfer it over. We have no plans on combining it. We doesn't keep me from money, I don't keep him from money...so I guess it's like having just one account. But I've gone through so much CRAP trying to get my name changed over on bills and such (and even at HR at work) that getting this changed over would just add even more crap to the pile which is unnecessary.

Wpbarr

Shared personal. I manage the investments and business accounts.

rachmaree

We tried pooling everything, but I must admit I became a little resentful at my husband knowing every dollar (or in our case, lira) I spent. I also make more than double what he makes, so it was annoying feeling sometimes like I had to 'ask' before buying. When I got my new job, they opened a new bank account, and I've started transferring almost all of it to our joint account, but leaving a little for myself. Fights about money- no more. I think everyone needs to find a system that works for them. My parents never fought about money and they were married for 40 years, everything was joint.

suzycreamcheese

seperate

BerryH

As a divorcee, I can attest to only having "our money" leading to having "no money" afterwards :laugh:

If I did it again, there would definitely be a joint bills account and separate spending money and savings. I'd probably keep my flat too and rent it out if not living in it. Financial independence can make romance a lot easier :happy:

MîîśÊmÿłõü

We're married so everything is shared! That's the way it should be if your living together

whiskey9890

we have seperate personal accounts and a "house" account into which we both transfer a set amount each pay day. having said that the "house" account is actually in my name but that is purely down to stupid bank opening hours and not being able to get both of us present to open it as a joint account, its not an issue for us, if anything went belly up in our relationship there isn't a huge amount in it every month after bills to argue over

kyle4jem

Totally 50:50.... he pays the bills and I spend the money :laugh: