'his' money and 'hers' money

nothingisred

We're married so everything is shared! That's the way it should be if your living together

This is how I used to feel when I was living with my ex (even though I was always making a lot more money than he was). But it got to the point where I resented him for it because he would buy expensive clothes when we were struggling to make ends meet.

On the other hand my parents had a very messy divorce which was mainly because of money. They kept everything absolutely separate, my dad paid for most things. Neither of them knew what each other earned. I could never understand it and evidentally it definitely didn't work.

When I decide to live with a partner again (which won't be for a long time yet I don't think!) I think I would like to have our own personal accounts for our own spending and then a joint account for things like bills that we both pay an agreed equal amount into. To be that seems the best way to do things.

Angellore

We both work full time and earn more or less the same. We each have our own current accounts which our salaries are paid into. We also have a joint account which we pay an equal amount into each, each month and all the direct debits for the bills, mortgage etc come out of. Each month, just before payday (we both get paid on the same date) I sit down and work out how much we need to put into the joint account. It varies by around +/- £25 a month. We also have a joint savings account into which we put a set amount of money each month and that pays for our holidays. I pay for food shopping on my credit card (we get airmiles) and them my husband pays me back half of it. It works well for us as it means we don't have any fights over money as what ever is left is ours to spend the way we want. Anything else we need for the house we go halves on. Works perfectly for us.

Angellore

We're married so everything is shared! That's the way it should be if your living together

Why should it be that way? Not being narky, just interested to know why you feel this way?

gemco

bit of both, we have a joint account and i have a separate account which i use for saving some til the end of the month or towards bigger costs. all money is pooled because there isn't enough of it to go around but once i'm working again and we have surplus we'll pool a percentage each to cover our housey/family expenses and have free money each for whatever we like.

asyouseefit

Separate

Swissmiss

We each have our own checking accounts. I put 2/3 of my paycheck into his as he pays most of the bills. I am responsible for the dish TV and the internet service, plus anything that I or my girls may need.

Iamfit4life

When we're married I imagine it will be shared.

Either way it will work out.
I try not to think too much about money.

FearAnLoathing

everything is shared

VeganInTraining

As a divorcee, I can attest to only having "our money" leading to having "no money" afterwards :laugh:

If I did it again, there would definitely be a joint bills account and separate spending money and savings. I'd probably keep my flat too and rent it out if not living in it. Financial independence can make romance a lot easier :happy:

Funny I'm the other way around. Having his and her's with my ex meant I paid for all the social occasions because he spent all his money on booze so if I wanted a date it came from my pocket (obviously there was a deeper issue here) The new and improved hubby is wonderful and we have a joint account. We each get some cash at the beginning of the week and if we want to spend any money after that then we talk it out and see if it's a good decision

liftingbro

We have separate checking accounts. We have a joint savings account. We split up the bills and trust each other to manage our money.

Hellbent_Heidi

Separate accounts and we are each responsible for certain bills. We also have a shared account where we can pool money or transfer it to each other.
Works great because we don't need each others' permission to buy something one of us wants. If you are paying the bills your responsible for then have at it with the money you have left over. Of course this probably only works when you are dual income.

This...and we use a shared "buget tracking" Excel spreadsheet where we keep track of all monthly bills, debts, etc. in one place.
Joining to one would be a headache since he doesn't balance his checkbook (and mine is to the penny). No chances of being overdrawn because someone forgot to mention a gas fillup or something....

iNkedFiTmama

this..and we never fight about money either.

Shared in this house... He's the only one making money anyway!!

Qarol

EVERYthing is shared...since day 1. We never fight about money. We paid off our mortgage in 4.5 years. We have no other debt. We're aggressively planning and saving for retirement. (hopefully, an early one)

I keep an anal spreadsheet with all of our accounts, our budget categories, and I write down everything we spend. It's a shared file so my husband can see, at a glance, what our finances look like at any given time. He lets me handle all things money related. I think if he didn't allow me to do this, I would go crazy and blow up the whole town.

BigDaddyBRC

If youre married, there is no His and Hers. When you have this in a mariage, you have preforcasted youself for divorce

russellma

What's his is mine and what's mine is mine!! Just kidding!

We share everything. When we married, the two became one and we don't have two separate lives. We discuss all major purchases and both are conscientious about the little purchases.

I don't necessarily think that would work for everyone. It could be disastrous and a cause for tremendous stress if one is not conscientious and there's a possibility of ruining both's financial status, but it's worked extremely well for us.

Onesnap

We've been together 17 years (married for 11 of those) and we've always had both separate and joint accounts. Our paychecks go into our separate checking and my husband's side business has a separate account (but the online orders go to Paypal and from that we have a Paypal Master Card that we both share). My car is in my name only, but our 3 houses are in both names (one being a rental/investment property).

glockster972

Personal accounts are shared. I have one savings account on my own, and the business account is mine only.

Onesnap

I politely disagree. Together 17 years and we have separate and together accounts (depending on what it is).

MFPAddict

All of our accounts are joint except for the offshore accounts in my name. :glasses:

Onesnap

I am getting married in April and this is one of the topics on the table. Our solution is 3 accounts: his, hers and ours.

This has worked well for us for 17 years. We do discuss big purchases and honestly with online banking the separate and joint accounts are easily managed. He went out and bought a $100 drill last week and I went shopping during a business trip and did not have to clear it with the other spouse first.

ninerbuff

If youre married, there is no His and Hers. When you have this in a mariage, you have preforcasted youself for divorce

Meh. I don't see it that way. We've been doing it this way for almost 17 years now and never fight about money. We also both don't have hardly any debt. Once our van is paid off next year, all that's left is the mortgage. It depends on HOW you spend your money, not whether or not you have separate accounts. You could have pooled accounts and be horrible with spending. And that's when money issues come up.

maserati185

Shared account for bills. Seperate accounts for work expenses/personal spending. The more money-minded of us handles the transferring and overseeing.

starbucksbuzz

Everything is joint with us, and he is anal about the checkbook... so I like not having to worry about it. We take out some cash on a weekly / bi-weekly basis that we use for grocerys, gas, going out, etc.The hard thing is hiding gifts. haha.

liftingbro

If youre married, there is no His and Hers. When you have this in a mariage, you have preforcasted youself for divorce

This is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever read on these forums.

adjones5

I'm not married but when I do get married, I will definitely be having everything shared, nothing separate.

adjones5

I'm not married but when I do get married, I will definitely be having everything shared, nothing separate.

This topic is definitely throwing me off a little bit...I never would have thought that married people would have separate accounts. My mom and all of my sisters have always been stay at home moms so if they didn't have shared finances then they would be homeless haha You learn something new everyday!

Iamfit4life

If youre married, there is no His and Hers. When you have this in a mariage, you have preforcasted youself for divorce

This is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever read on these forums.

Yeah I pretty much disagree with broad sweeping comments like this.
Marriages aren't one size fits all.

mrimike

If you don't have your own personal mad money account you will surely go MAD! The majority of our oney is one account though:)

Hellbent_Heidi

If youre married, there is no His and Hers. When you have this in a mariage, you have preforcasted youself for divorce

This is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever read on these forums.

Yeah I pretty much disagree with broad sweeping comments like this.
Marriages aren't one size fits all.

Agree completely..how you handle your household finances has nothing to do with the quality of your marriage. Separate accounts works in my situation, but it doesn't mean we don't consider both incomes to be "our money".....we just have different styles of management. All our bills get paid on time and our names are on each others accounts for emergency purposes. Its not about keeping secrets, but it certainly does make things easier.

macpatti

Joint accounts for us.