Public or Private school?

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I was a public school teacher until I had to leave for disability. I agree that it depends entirely on what schools you're talking about. Charter schools can be awesome or terrible, depending on the model (they aren't held to the same laws as public schools and aren't required to take all students, so it's hard to tell by their scores). Public schools are full of teachers who want to make a difference, but also they're full of kids whose parents don't give a crap. I've worked in totally rural areas with great kids who wanted to learn and I've worked in suburbs where everyone just expected to get an A no matter how much effort they put in. I also worked in a great magnet school. It really just depends on the school. I plan to home school early on and then send my kids to public high school. If high school isn't working for whatever reason then we can reconsider, but I want to support the public school system if possible.

Breckgirl

It depends on the public school. In Oakwood High School in Dayton Ohio 97% of the graduates go to on to college.

Just_Dot

If your schools are *kitten*, get involved and help make them better, rather than taking the "easy" way out and just opting out.

Oh, if it were this easy. I guess when I was in school, it wasn't something that would have occurred to me to do. The parents really need to do this. It shouldn't be up to the students to make the schools better. All I knew at the time was I was bored, and the teachers couldn't help me much. They suggested after school programs and such, but that's MORE work. I wanted my existing classes to be fun and exciting. I wanted to have to WORK for those good grades. I would blow the curve in my classes. (And I had some annoying teachers who would point this out to the class, so everyone hated me for getting such good grades. This did not help me.) I guess as advanced as I was, I didn't think there was anything I could do about it. I was only a kid.

Whoa... Apparently I didn't explain myself well or something. This is is why I hate debating over the interwebz....

I didn't mean "you" as a student, but I meant the grown-ups in the community... Not just parents, but all members of the community. Obviously, I would never expect a student to challenge the system...that's what adults are for. I'm so sorry that your experience as a gifted learner in a public school setting has clearly colored your view about s chools. Why wouldn't it? Teachers who do not strive to challenge EVERY student in their classroom do those of us that *do*?a huge disservice. You clearly didn't have teachers that gave a crap and that's sad.

FWIW, most schools have standards-based assessment now, eliminating the curve.

Just_Dot

Whoops, double post.

sunkisses

In south Florida, I would absolutely send my children to private school if I could afford it. Our state's education system is so corrupt that it caused me to change my college major from Secondary English Education to just English. My student teaching was the eye-opener for me. During those years I was dating the capital budget director for one of the local districts and I was learning about where money comes from and how it's spent. The politics behind this are... well, not something you'll be hearing about on the news or radio. If people knew what goes on behind the scenes and how little there is that we can do about it, it'd be alarming.

As long as you're paying you have some say in what your child is learning, what their teachers are doing, etc. It's possible to get a good public education, but it's more in your control when your money is doing some of the talking.

ninerbuff

My daughter is in GATE in San Francisco public school (she was GATE identified early - at the end of 2nd grade). I have to say that the education she's getting now is far superior to what I got in public school 30 years ago. There are two public high schools here that are held in such high regard that you're virtually assured admission into any college she applies for if she goes to them.

So, as it stands, she is in 7th grade and is already jockying for grades so she can get into the best high school. This will probably be harder on her than getting into college - because the high school she gets into will determine where she can go to college.

It wouldn't be this competitive if it weren't a quality public school education.

Don't write of public school. The more people that pull their kids out to go to private, the less challenging public will become. A "free and compulsory education" is part of what makes this country great.

GATE runs in our family!!! My wife went to Lowell in SF.

ninerbuff

The one thing that would worry me with private schools, is mixing with children who think money is the be all and end all of life, and are spoilt. No matter how much money I had I don't want to be (nor want my kids to be) snobby about it, and think they are above others because of it. Or think that they deserve all the material things in the world just because we can afford it.

I think that the parents have a much better influence on that . My parents aren't rich and sending us to private school was a sacrifice. My brother and I knew that and we didn't let people with money influence our morals since many of the spoiled kids had bad relationships with there parents.

solpwr

I grew up in Montana. My oldest daughter grew up in Pasadena, CA and Montana. My youngest grew up in Montana. All of us attended public school.

My oldest was a GATE student in California. Still, seeing the school system there, and the children and their parents, I wanted to move back to a place where there weren't so many issues with the school system. When we moved back to Montana, my kids got a better education. The culture outside the metropolitan areas of the U.S. generally supports a better environment for education. I believe inside metropolitan areas, a private school is a good way to experience that better environment.

So it depends on where you live, in my view.

ninerbuff

I went to Private school all threw Junior High and High School.

I would choose Private school ALL the way!

Homophone alert!

Qarol

I didn't mean "you" as a student, but I meant the grown-ups in the community... Not just parents, but all members of the community.

Thank you. This makes me want to find out everything I can do in my local school system, even though I'll never have children. I haven't got a clue where to start, though...

lmelangley

Public school. I was a public school kid who went to college with a lot of private school kids. I went thinking I could never keep up - never be good enough. I discovered that academically, there wasn't any difference between us. The difference, generally, was money.

Why is private school "tougher"? Because most of the kids there come from homes with professional parents, whereas there's a mix of blue and white collar families at public schools. If you're professional, you probably went to college and expect your kids to go to college. You send your kids to private school with the expectation they'll excel.

My home town was a mix of shoe shop and paper mill families. The expectation was that the children would graduate high school and then get jobs in a shoe shop or at the mill. Parents were proud if their kids did well, but there was no expectation of anything more than a high school education.

So, why do I say public? I believe a diverse education makes our children smarter in the world. I believe they need to understand a variety of socio-economic realities. I believe a child will succeed academically if they are self motivated and have the support of their parental units. I believe it's important to support our public education system and work toward making it better.

This being said, I also believe that as parents, it's our responsibility to make decisions for our children that are right for our individual families. Just because a decision is right for me, doesn't mean it's right for everyone. I have a dear friend who has chosen to send her children to private school because it was right for her family. Go with your gut.

lannlynn

We decided to send our boys to public school. We debated it for a very long time but decided that they would get a better education in public. That is here, where we live. My son scores very high on the mandated tests that are given every year, in the high 90 percentile. This has allowed him to be a part of the Duke Talent Search. He will be taking the ACT in February. He's only in the 7th grade.

amymeenieminymo

I would have to research it a lot more, but just from what I know of both, I would say public. I do agree that there are of course some schools that the students are at an extreme disadvantage (Detroit Public Schools) but just as important as the atmosphere and level of education is the individual child himself. You cannot put a child who is determined to not succeed in private school and expect a miracle, and you cannot take a straight A student and put them in public school and watch them fail.

I went to public school, I never felt as if I were held back or not receiving a good education. Yes I had some not so great teachers, but also some great ones (not so great teachers exist in colleges as well). I got decent grades in high school, went on to college, graduated with my BA with a 3.3 GPA and just graduated with my MBA with a 3.7 GPA. My husband on the other hand went to private school almost all of his life, he never went on to college and I have to say, sometimes his spelling and grammar is not the best. He's not dumb, he has very high intelligence when it comes to common sense and worldly knowledge, but "book smarts" was just never his thing.

I think parents have a LOT to do with it as well. You cannot send you child to school in kindergarten and expect them to do all their learning between the hours of 9 and 3 M-F. Learning is started the day they are born by the parents, and reinforced at home. My mom read to both my brother and I all the time, we both had much higher reading levels than the rest of the kids in our class. Our parents challenged us and turned a lot of stuff into lessons, whether it was the school year or summer vacation and they always encouraged hard work and good grades. That's not to say my in-laws weren't concerned with my husbands grades, but he had ADD and they were very much at a loss for how to handle it. ADD didn't have the resources available 30 years ago like they do today, so she would often end up getting frustrated and do his work for him, which of course set a pattern and made him even less interested in doing well, knowing his mom would do it for him.

Good luck with your decision.

ninerbuff

how about you ask what your daughter would like?

At 7 years old, I don't think it is something she would truly understand. She currently attends a public school and has been recommended to us to put her into GATE.

TexasNurseMom78

My kids go to public for two reasons. Where we live it is at least a 30-45 min drive to private schools and that is not feasable for our family every day. And, my friends who take their kids to private school still complain about peer pressure, misbehavior and academics. I went to private growing up through Jr High and then switched to public. Socially, public was much better for me. Academically? I think it is a toss up. Living in a small town, public is great for my kids becasue I know most of the teachers and staff personally and know most of the kids and parents also. It is a decision parents have to make individually. For my kids, I feel I made the right choice. And we are a a church going family and involved in many activities outside of school, so my kids get plenty of education in those areas also.

JulieSD

I went to Private school all threw Junior High and High School.

I would choose Private school ALL the way!

That's grate! :flowerforyou:

I lub this.

_Ben

Public. As long as your local public school isnt some dilapitated mess, I highly recommend public. I have a lot of friends who went to private school, a brother who went to private, and I went to private then switched to public. Heres the biggest concern. When you go to private schools, you arent exposed to the other people of the world. The majority of private schools consist of people with similar backgrounds, similar economic, social, religious, and political standings. While this may be great fo rbeing taught values that you and your wife support, it is nothing like the real world. You need to be able to see people of different classes/cultures/lifestyles, and be able to interact in the best way with them, without seeming ignorant or arrogant. Also just the same, if you do do private, please do coed. If its for your daughter, not as bad, but for guys I strongly believe it screws them up. I had a friend who ended up getting his first girlfriend pregnant because he had never even really been around to many girls, and he thought having unprotected sex was perfectly fine after the first or second date, because he just hadnt been around to many, he didnt really know how most men were around girls. Just the same I know another guy who had no comprehension how to talk to women, and has become extremely anti social now that he is in college. I know another guy who started experimenting with men (nothing against gays), to which he blamed due to a lack of female interaction.


I just really believe public schools allow you to see what america is really like, with the different histories, culturals, ethnicities, etc, while in a safe non threatening environment.

sleepytexan

Montessori magnet! Rah rah rah!

Not for my ADHD kid -- no IEP, no patience, no services. When I lived in TX briefly, my 3 older kids went to a Montessori that went through 6th grade. They very nicely referred my ADHD kid with a 146 IQ and fantastic grades back to public school after 1 year.

sleepytexan

if you do do private, please do coed. If its for your daughter, not as bad, but for guys I strongly believe it screws them up.

this made me laugh. My husband and his brothers went to Groton (private boarding school) that was all boys until the mid-70s. While I don't think it screwed him up, he was very enthusiastic once he graduated and went to a co-ed college. :laugh:

fionarama

I think it certainly depends on what country you live in, and what kind of private schools are available. I live in the UK and the school system is terrible - all the schools are overcrowded so you have to apply for the school you want and just cross your fingers you get it. I know people who moved house just to get in the catchment area of a particular school, and then still didn't get in.
Class sizes are 30+
And don't even get me started on after school care or lack there of, they are no help with that and just seem to assume its 1955 and all mothers stay at home.
I was advised by my nursery teacher to look at private for my daughter, who is a very bright little girl but can be quiet - the teachers words were "she will just disappear into a black hole".
We found a private school where class size will be no more than 16 (currently there are less than 10 in the class) they get swimming lessons, ballet lessons, tap dancing, horses riding whatever they want, and becuase a boarding school is attached after school care is free and they just hang out with the boarders until I get there.
The fees are reasonable and its a really family atmosphere, its not some snooty posh school.
More than 80% get A's and as far as I know pretty much the entire school goes on to University.

I can't rate it highly enough and you just cant' compare hte opportunities she will get there to a public school.

Or homeschooling, i'm sorry I just don't get why this is meant to be a good option for children, why would an untrained mother be a better teacher than a qualified teacher, an what about all the other social opportunites a school provides?/