When does the abuse stop?

vanessaclarkgbr

I was out walking this evening and as a car drove passed one of the girls in it shouted fat ***** at me. This is not the first time this has happened in my life, 10 years ago i actually had a car stop in the street so that the people in it could shout abuse at me, it was shortly after this that i stopped going out and gained most of my weight.

Rich

New flash: Rich who is now a sized 32 waist and have a 6 pack was teased by a group of girls in a car who shouted that he has gray hair.

Now back to your regular scheduled programming.

Yup. LIKE!!

Hoppymom

A year from now you will be walking or running and healthy and fit and they will still be.......them. How disappointing for them. You win!! I used to get picked on for being super thin (not anorexic or anything just really slim.) You can do this!:flowerforyou:

josiesumerlin

People can be so narrow minded and never think twice instead they just move to the next victim. If you can learn to laugh at them because they have nothing better to do with their time except spend it making fools of themselves, their parents must be proud.

Hoppymom

It's because we live in Canada.

Ummmm ......NO. Not all Canadians are nice. (I'm Canadian, so dont think I'm being judgemental...I'm just saying)
This happened to me once. I was running with my dog and a truck load of hill billies drove by and shouted a number of fatarse references at me. Let me tell you the Big Middle Finger came out and I used it LIBERALLY with a number of explitives of my own.
I take solace in the fact that although I will only be overweight for a few years, they will be small minded, ignorant abusive douchbags for EV-EH!!!

Love this!

tjones7

I'm sorry that this happened to you and I know how you feel. I remember leaving a party once and a guy just felt the need to say hey fat a**. I was never bothered by comments until that moment. If it is at all possible try to think of your weight loss journey as a game. super mario brothers perhaps...your objective is to save the prince (in your case) from diabetes, heart failure, etc but in order to do this you must eat healthier and exercise. this journey is not easy and the game has to give you distractions and fire breathing dragons that you must pass. the girl in the car was one of them. They want you to quit, give up, and lose focus so that you can't save the prince. well,,,step on their heads, jump over them, just like in the game to conquer your mission. even if you mess up, you still have another chance,

also to the other person who said that they don't run anymore,,,get back in the game.

mudya

About 7 months ago a car had failed to stop at a red light. Me and my friend crossed the road, but this man beeped and told us to get out of the way, like we should't have been crossing, I shouted back and said that he had to stop, he replied and called me a fat ****er... When someone is angry, the most obvious insult comes to mind. I couldn't have cared less about the insult, i was just angry that he expected us to stop crossing the road!

jadick825

I used to be bullied all the time when I was younger and eventually I had enough and scared my bulliers with threats that they stopped. These days, I make fun of myself before someone gets a chance too and laugh everything off. It is much easier that way. You will figure out what is right for you. Just stand up for yourself. You will feel so much better!

Flacachica

I can't believe people actually do that... that is awful. I mean seriously... grow up!!

Just remember the important things in life and never mind those losers. You're a winner. From what I can tell in your photos you're doing an awesome job! I know it's easier said than done, but hang in there!!

kmjenkins

The people that live in this world can be rather disgusting and appalling, well more often than not. The only thing you can do is not let it get to you, you know who you are and what you want, and you are doing an amazing job on your way to the YOU the YOU want to be, who gives a crap what those simpletons have to say—in the grand scheme of YOUR life, they have no significance. They are not worth your effort and energy. Keep up your awesome work, and know that you are an inspiration!

Take care,
~K

sianjames

Hello, something like this (abuse, wolf whistles, comments) happens to me probably 25% of the time I go out for a run or a bike. The person shouting the abuse is always in a group, and it happens because they are showing off the other detritus they associate with. My advice would be never react to it as that's what they are looking for.

Once I was out just walking and a jogger was coming towards me. A car going past slowed right down and yelled something horrible at the jogger, and of course sped straight off. As the bewildered jogger came level with me I said to her " what a bunch of bunts" ( I may have spelt that word wrong). That's exactly what i would have said again for this incident!

CannibalisticVegetarian

I think you should start carrying rotten eggs in a sack to throw at asshats like that.

^I like this
...And if the cops show up... ditch the bag.

Tuffjourney

I am sorry that biotch did that to you. I think you look great. Dont let them stop you from being you. You are wonderful sir, if I do say so my self. :flowerforyou:

Emily102102

Someone pulled up beside me when I was pumping gas & yelled at me that if I went on a diet I wouldn't take up so much space!
Which was completely out of no where I weighed 180lbs & had a newborn baby if I was 100 lbs my vehicle would still be the same size.
People like that have way more issues than we do! Smile @ them & continue to do what you are doing

tjones7

Don't let ignorant people rent space in your head!!!!

love this

Tuffjourney

Hello, something like this (abuse, wolf whistles, comments) happens to me probably 25% of the time I go out for a run or a bike. The person shouting the abuse is always in a group, and it happens because they are showing off the other detritus they associate with. My advice would be never react to it as that's what they are looking for.

Once I was out just walking and a jogger was coming towards me. A car going past slowed right down and yelled something horrible at the jogger, and of course sped straight off. As the bewildered jogger came level with me I said to her " what a bunch of bunts" ( I may have spelt that word wrong). That's exactly what i would have said again for this incident!

LOL.. Good job!

richx83

wow, what a fantastic response thanks for all the messages.

For those that asked this was in Warwick, England

kmbrooks15

In the car this morning, I said something to my daughter about how I was close to my first mini-goal (25 lbs) and that when I hit that goal, I was going for a mani/pedi. My son, who is almost 14 but has developmental delays, said, "That'll never happen!" I don't think he'll ever say that again after the butt-chewing I gave him. I don't care if he does have developmental delays, that was a mean comment and he WILL learn better than that.

I have to wonder if those girls' parents ever taught them about not letting that kind of crap come out of their mouths. I'm betting not.

Just ignore that crap from people. You're doing what's right for yourself, and that's all that matters. Remember, too, some people will pick on ANYTHING they can find--you're too tall, or too short, too fat, or too thin, too much gray hair, not enough hair, skin is too pale, skin is too dark, blah, blah, blah...

My daughter is in middle school right now, and she's very smart. A lot of the kids pick on her, and I tell her it's because they are insecure around her because she's so intelligent!

Hang in there, and don't give up!

Pinge

The abuse does not stop. Ignorant and insecure people will always try to lift their egos by demeaning other people - whether it be about weight, sexual orientation etc. etc.
If you let them get to you - they win! I have suffered indignity like this in my life and the one thing I kept repeating to myself that really helped was...
"I have no control over what other people do, the ONLY control I have is what I DO."

Vaanja

As a teen I regularly got crap like this from my naturally waif-thin, extremely popular sister and her cronies and courters. I can look back now and realize that the ones I still know are *still* small-minded, judgemental people...who lead sad, angry lives.

I hope this wasn't intrusive of me, but i took a look at your profile and pics. You've made amazing progress, and have gone from adorable to quite attractive...you're only getting better and better while these assclowns will probably meet the pinnacle of their lives somewhere around 19 years old.

dargytaylor

The fact is, kids are cruel and mean. They probably have been yelling that at everyone they pass, overweight or not. Don't take it personal, and don't let them make you feel that way. In 10 years they will be on MFP trying to figure out if they should be eating their exercise Calories.

^^^^^^^^

i have never experienced kids being cruel, but my ex-husband was very good at mental abuse (notice I said EX).....Mind you I had 3 children by the age of 25....but was right back down to size 5 after they were all born. My 1st was a c-section, so yes, I had some 'flab'.......he CONSTANTLY called me fat..........I am 5'8" and probably 125 at the time.

He is a looser just like the kids in the car......Karma my friend will find it's way to them, it did to my EX :bigsmile:

Hellbent_Heidi

I am so so sorry that happened to you. Keep on keeping on. They will get theirs!

THIS! Sorry, and hang in there. Karma is a bi+ch...and so were those girls apparently!

MikeSEA

I was out walking this evening and as a car drove passed one of the girls in it shouted fat ***** at me. This is not the first time this has happened in my life, 10 years ago i actually had a car stop in the street so that the people in it could shout abuse at me, it was shortly after this that i stopped going out and gained most of my weight.

I am at a point in my life now where I am trying to boost my confidence and start talking to girls, when things like this happen it does make me wonder if i should bother yet.

Anyone else had experience with abuse or bullying because of size?

Rich

Rich, the people who say things like that, say them to everyone regardless of size. For those people it will never stop because it's about sadism. if it wasn't size, they'd make fun of someone for being too smart, or wearing glasses, or not wearing the right clothes.

Be an awesome person and other awesome people will be happy to be with you....even during times when you don't think you're so awesome.

fteale

Honestly. It doesn't. Because people aren't commenting on you, they are just lashing out from their own inadequacy. When I weighed 118 lbs I a couple of times had people shouting fat f*** at me, or telling me I was dog ugly. I wasn't. I looked pretty good, actually. I never had that when I was bigger, oddly enough. It's an attack, probably because they are envious in some way, or at east trying to feel better about themselves. It is no reflection on you or your actual weight.

danibee79

Rich I'm so sorry to hear what happened. Some people are idiots who really have nothing good in their lives so they have to make themselves feel better by being rancid to those they see as easy targets. You've had so many positive comments on here, so weigh it up, who would you rather listen to? Your MFP supporters of course! Keep up the good work mate.

Artemis_Acorn

I'm so sorry that you had an encounter with such immature and obnoxious people.

A very wise person once said: He who takes offense when offense is not intended is a fool. He who takes offense when offense IS intended is a greater fool.

I have tried to live by that creed. A person only has power to hurt me if I give it to them. I recognize that in reality our human emotions and insecurities do get in the way, but in the end, it is your choice as to how you respond, and the only response I recommend is to a.) ignore stupid people and b.) look in the mirror and tell yourself how awesome you are, how great you are doing.

Accept that the person you are TODAY is lovable and of worth. Your worth is not changed (either diminished or enhanced) by your weight, your fitness or your appearance. It is an internal recognition of your worth that you are working on your health and your appearance. Talk to the girls dude. They are just people like you.

solpwr

The abuse does not stop. Ignorant and insecure people will always try to lift their egos by demeaning other people - whether it be about weight, sexual orientation etc. etc.
If you let them get to you - they win! I have suffered indignity like this in my life and the one thing I kept repeating to myself that really helped was...
"I have no control over what other people do, the ONLY control I have is what I DO."

Wow. My point exactly. Good work.

People abuse others always. If they can't find a reason they invent one. Abusers are usually motivated by increasing their power. Because they feel they lack power.

Any physical or psychological trait can be targeted. Religious, political, social, cultural things are also common targets. Sad.

lururu

I'm in Newport in Wales and I get this a lot too. It sucks. But you just gotta think that they have taken time out of their life to think about you Don't use up anymore of your life thinking about them!

Don't let it put you off tho! Don't give them that power over you, take it back and use it for yourself!!

bluemist248

I've had at least two cases of that happening that I remember (I think my mind blanks out most of the fat comments I've had in life!) Both instances were in cars, I always find irony in that. If I'm so fat and lazy, shouldn't I be the one driving and them walking?!

Screw 'em, every guy that's said that to me has looked about as intellectual as an amoeba and every girl that's ever said that to me has had crap hair and an orange face, I may be fat but at least I'm 100% natural, have a brain and I'm doing something about my weight

In fact, we all are, thus we are ALL better than them people!

loki3981

I am so sorry this happened to you! Stay positive and push forward and know that there are people that support you know matter what!

stephaniev07

I am sorry that is aweful! For that reason (not that it's right) I walk after dark and stay close to my house. I am so self conscience about it that when I began jogging a little bit I always watch out for people in their driveways garages in case they can see me. If a car starts to come i immediatly start walking. It's horrible I know but that is my current feelings.
The only thing that keeps me going when people are mean or rude is that I know I can and will lose the weight but they will ALWAYS be mean and ugly inside And outwardly an *kitten*. Hope that helps a little bit.