Should I be annoyed?

apatrick106

I pack my husband’s lunch every day, make a sandwich, snacks, drinks etc...and there are days when he comes home and I empty his cooler and he did not eat his lunch! The snacks do not bother me but when I see his sandwich still in the container it IRKS the Bleep out of me! I take time out of my morning to pack his lunch and he does even eat it! I work also so to me that is time wasted I could be out of the door 15 mins sooner! He is blue collar and I have office job and know his job is much harder physically so I thought making his lunch would be nice and give him a lil more time to relax in the morning, but now I am getting really fed up!

Do I have a right to mad?Should I just make the sandwhich and get over?

He does work really hard and works on the weekends etc...to make sure we have everything we need/want does an uneaten sandwich really matter?????

TavistockToad

have u asked him why he didnt eat it?!

i_love_vinegar

some days he is probably tired of sandwiches..maybe mix it up a little ^^

i think since he works even on the weekends, you should not say anything and just try harder...that is what I would do ^^

Good luck and that is very sweet of you btw~

2bFitNTrim

I wouldn't be annoyed. I doubt it is anything personal against you. Maybe he just didn't want the sandwich. Ask him what he'd like to have in his lunches. It's sweet that you do this for him. It's a loving gesture.

ls_66

wish my wife would fix me a sammich

runiechica

You have the right feel what we feel, but I would ask what you have done about it? Did you talk to him? Find out why he didn't eat the sandwich? Ask him how he feels about you making his lunch and tell how you feel when he leaves stuff. Communication is the key.


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RunningAddict

WELL IF SOMETHING REALLY ERRKS ME I HAVE TO ASK OR SAY SOMETHING BECAUSE SOONER OR LATER I CAN'T TAKE THE SUSPENSE ANYMORE. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ASKING IN A NICE WAY. YOU COULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE HEY HUN I NOTICED THAT YOU DIDN'T EAT YOUR SANDWICH DO YOU WANT TO GET SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR YOUR LUNCH? IT COULD BE THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS BY SAYING NOT TO PACK ANYTHING. I'M ALL FOR COMMUNICATION IN A RELATIONSHIP-NO PARTNER SHOULD HAVE TO WONDER ABOUT THINGS JUST CONVERSATE ABOUT IT NOT ARGUE.

_Ben

Really its totally understandable. I used to make my girls lunch, but shed sometimes go out to eat, just not eat at all, and it used to bother me, but really I realized that if thats what she wants to do, theres no point in wasting my time being bothered by it

Wendysworld13

All of the above!! Plus, ask him if he wants you to make his lunch and maybe, make a list of things he wants or a weekly menu. All the solutions are simple - however the result of not communicating is ire and frustration. Talk to him - and life is good!

katkins3

You may find MHO offensive, but here it is:
If your husband is over 12, its time he took responsibility for his own lunch.
I stopped making lunches for my kids when they got old enough to do it themselves. It's time for him to grow up and make his own lunch.

koylefam

my hubby does 12 hour shifts(leaves house by 6:30 am if not sooner)... and gets called in on most of his days off.... he packs his own luch. But When i make dinner I make sure to cook a little extra so he can have leftovers of the previous nights dinner. That wa he gets something new everyday. And most the guys at his work are VERY ENVIOUS of his lunches.. He takes the main dish (which I put away for him the nigth before) then packs in whatever goodies/snacks.. this might be comething to try...

lorihalsted

My husband works really hard physically too and sometimes eating very much during the day (even a sandwich) kind of makes him sick. He usually eats one good meal in the evening and just snacks during the day. Just ask him....or continue making it and not worry about it! Don't sweat the small stuff (I tell myself that all the time).

sunkisses

I'd stop making his lunch. I know you're already annoyed and looking for validation from us, but I think a) he didn't ask you to make his lunch, you just thought it would be nice to do it for him, b) you're pissed because his not eating the sandwich signifies to you that he does not appreciate what you're doing, and c) people get sick of the same things every single day.

Your husband is a grown man. Throwing lunch together in the morning is not stressful or time consuming. And he doesn't even have to empty his own lunch bag afterward. Must be nice. If you want less stress, take on less responsibility for things.

apatrick106

Thanks everyone!

He says just what everyone said.....I am tired of eating sandwiches! Because he works outside sandwiches really are his only choice! So when there is a subshop etc..close by him and the guys usally eat out!

We have talked about it and I tell him how I feel and he tells me how much he does appreciate it then I start to feeling silly thinking really it is only sandwich why I am so irked, there much bigger problems in the world than an uneaten sandwich.

You all are right!! Thanks for the helpful insight!

LorinaLynn

I make lunch for my husband to take to work. If he doesn't eat his sandwich - maybe his boss bought them lunch? - he gets it the same sandwich the next day. It'll keep. Might be a little mushy, but still edible.

ashnm88

If I were married, I'm not about to make a grown man his lunch for work. If you have to make him his lunch might as well dress him too.

usmcmp

I had this happen to me when I was married. I asked him why he didn't eat what I packed. He said that he forgot it in his car or that he didn't feel like eating it. I started providing several options for his lunches and he wouldn't take them. Eventually I gave him cash for his lunches for the month (I do the budget) and when he was out of money he got to pack his own darn lunch or go without.

JulieBoBoo

I make my husband's lunch most days. He almost always eats it and he really appreciates it. It's one of his love languages. Sure he can do it himself and some days when I'm really busy he does, but for him, my making his lunch is one of the ways he feels loved and appreciated and since it's only 5 mins out of my day I don't mind doing it.

Now my hubby is perfectly fine with sandwiches everyday -- everyone jokes that he'd eat anything so long as you put it between two slices of bread -- but not everyone is like that. I'd ask your hubby why he didn't eat the sandwich. Maybe he's bored of them. Maybe he went out to lunch with coworkers. Maybe he got too busy.

I'd approach it from the "I hate to see it wasted" viewpoint rather than the "it hurts my feelings" because I wouldn't want to put him on the defensive.

daleworley

before i moved into the office my ex and i had same issue...sometimes i would get a chance to go out for lunch with the guys and it was a welcome break but she took it personal when i didnt eat what she fixed so i started giving it away instead of bringing it home

JulieBoBoo

Thanks everyone!

He says just what everyone said.....I am tired of eating sandwiches! Because he works outside sandwiches really are his only choice! So when there is a subshop etc..close by him and the guys usally eat out!

We have talked about it and I tell him how I feel and he tells me how much he does appreciate it then I start to feeling silly thinking really it is only sandwich why I am so irked, there much bigger problems in the world than an uneaten sandwich.

You all are right!! Thanks for the helpful insight!

Would he use a thermos? That opens up a lot of possibilities for you both.

SarabellPlus3

My feneral rule is, if I have to ask, then no.

I like the suggestions and your update, I'd probably just ask him in the morning if he wanted me to pack a lunch that day.

surfrgrl1

I remember vaguely that this happened with my mom and dad.

If dad didn't eat it, mom would stick that same sandwich in his lunch the next day, and the next and the next.

Dad wised up that if he wasn't going to eat the sandwich he should just toss it and not bring it home!!!

Eventually, my dad started making his own lunches and the problem was solved.

erinrose07

I'd put it in the fridge and keep giving him the same sandwich every day till he eats it or it goes bad, lol. Some guys just don't eat much at work....so don't sweat it and literally just refrigerate it for tomorrow and save urself the time

calliope_music

I'd stop making his lunch. I know you're already annoyed and looking for validation from us, but I think a) he didn't ask you to make his lunch, you just thought it would be nice to do it for him, b) you're pissed because his not eating the sandwich signifies to you that he does not appreciate what you're doing, and c) people get sick of the same things every single day.

Your husband is a grown man. Throwing lunch together in the morning is not stressful or time consuming. And he doesn't even have to empty his own lunch bag afterward. Must be nice. If you want less stress, take on less responsibility for things.

this.

my husband is lucky that i even cook for him sometimes, haha!

ingeh

mine works 12hr shifts and I can wake up 5am to cook him dinner for work and he'll leave it! Som men are so picky! But he wont bother to make his own so if I dont make it then he goes hungry lol

JamesonsMommy

switch it up and make wraps or throw some bbq pork, meatballs, stuff like that in a thermos and wrap the roll seperate

determined2lose89

I've had the same problem with my hubby for awhile. He's a mechanic and would often get talked into going out to lunch with the other guys in the shop and just ignore the lunch I packed or "eat both" (meaning, toss it I'm sure). Eventually all this caught up to him and he gained about 20lbs. We're on MFP together now. He did admit that he got tired of sandwiches so now I make a bit extra the night before and take left overs or I do a filling soup with a half sandwich or a salad packed with chicken, lettuce, veggies. Hope this helps!

apatrick106

Thanks everyone!

He says just what everyone said.....I am tired of eating sandwiches! Because he works outside sandwiches really are his only choice! So when there is a subshop etc..close by him and the guys usally eat out!

We have talked about it and I tell him how I feel and he tells me how much he does appreciate it then I start to feeling silly thinking really it is only sandwich why I am so irked, there much bigger problems in the world than an uneaten sandwich.

You all are right!! Thanks for the helpful insight!

Would he use a thermos? That opens up a lot of possibilities for you both.

Yes in the winter time we have more choices. Like your husband acts of service is his love languages also. In the summer time he says it is too hot and I understand that as well. I ask him every Sunday what kind of lunch meat do you want, etc...
I get I duno or sometimes he will say xyz...so we do talk about it and try new things. Really it is such a small matter for a man that works so hard to give me anything and everything I want! I know I will never have to worry about our bills or if something should happen so making his sandwich is the least I can do! So glad some women understand!!!! Thanks

❤B☩❤

I always make my hubby's lunch. I always pack 2 healthy sandwiches, and always put a cold pack in his lunchbox. There are times that he doesn't take the time to eat. AND there are also times that he would stop into an account and they owner will offer him a couple of slices of pizza. AND there are also times when a Whoopie Pie suits his 'needs' better than turkey and cheese!! LOL

If the sandwiches are still cold when he gets home, he takes them the next day. I'm lucky that he is so easy! This is why I also get up every morning and make him a good, healthy breakfast (plus he works like a madman to provide for us!). So I know he is appreciative. BUT I would get upset if he threw the sandwich away and made me think he ate it.

I would ask him why he didn't get around to eating the sandwich. It could be the opening to "How was your day?".

lucky2too

My husband used to go out to eat and bring his lunch home. I suggested that he pass it on to someone else...some guys would appreciate it. After a heated argument one evening over my lousy cooking I very carefully snipped a sandwich size pice of his tighty whities and placed them on some nice rye bread with just the right amount of mayo and mustard. That was the day he shared.

PippaJo_

I think it's sweet that you make his lunch, and if he appreciates it, then you should keep doing it. Just discuss with him why he's not eating what you fix - whether it's that he went out with the guys, or it didn't look appetizing that day, or whatever.

Also, it depends on why you're - not upset, exactly, but less than happy about it - is it because you feel he's rejecting your effort, or is it because you feel he's wasting food (there was a time that would have bothered me more than anything else, as we couldn't really afford to waste food). Perhaps all you need is a short discussion to avoid any hurt feelings.

My hubby works nights, 12-hour shifts, and often gets called in on days off, too. I would love to make him his lunch from a 'I love you, and want to be a sweet wife' perspective, but.....I HATE making lunches. LOATHE it. It's worse than scrubbing toilets, for me, and I'm not even joking.

So, he makes his own lunches. Doubles up, really, because he usually eats twice in a shift. Since I have to cook for me and the kids (and he often misses dinner with us anyway), I try to make enough for plenty of leftovers, which he really appreciates taking. Stir-fry, rice and beans, leftover pizza or casseroles take really well, and he will often supplement that with a sandwich, or a can of soup, or a frozen meal.

And even still - he will often bring home some or all of what he's packed for himself! Sometimes food gets brought in for everyone, sometimes he just doesn't fee like eating what he packed, or occasionally his shift was so busy he simply didn't have time to eat. Now, if I had spent my time doing a chore I hate, to make him lunch, just because I love him - and he didn't eat it? I'd be pretty miffed too. But because he makes it himself (and doesn't particularly mind), it really doesn't bother me at all what he eats or doesn't.

Family peace....ahhh, it's a wonderful thing. :-)