Should I be annoyed?

servilia

If I were married, I'm not about to make a grown man his lunch for work. If you have to make him his lunch might as well dress him too.

LOL Wow! Glad that's not the line my husband and I work with each other, it sounds miserable.

My husband and I try to do things to make the other happy all the time. I do all kinds of things to try to make his days better, and vice versa, according to each's time, talent and interest. If you do marry, I would recommend trying it that way, instead.

I agree with this. Wow so much hostility towards the idea of being a kind loving wife. When you get married do you want your husband to have that attitude too? "I'm not about to pick up milk/bread/whatever on my way home from work, she can do it herself". etc. Sounds like a fun marriage!

DWilbanks

Do you ever ask him if he wants you to fix his lunch? If so, do you ever ask what he would like?

CoraGregoryCPA

I never think you shouldn't talk about it. I feel that is where a lot of marriages go wrong is because they are afraid to talk to each other. Seriously, it's a sandwich, talk to him about it. Whether it's petty or not, if it bothers you, you should talk about it. But try not to do it when you are upset. Have some wine and dinner first

Tell him you are frustrated, but you want to know what else you could do to make it better. Maybe he doesn't want sandwiches anymore or make him eat it the next day-lol. My fiance does it to me too, but he makes the big bucks, and I'm crazy about our finances, but it's a sandwich.. so how much are you really losing? Spice it up, make it different, or ask him in the morning if he even wants a sandwich.

Talk to him

CoraGregoryCPA

If I were married, I'm not about to make a grown man his lunch for work. If you have to make him his lunch might as well dress him too.

LOL Wow! Glad that's not the line my husband and I work with each other, it sounds miserable.

My husband and I try to do things to make the other happy all the time. I do all kinds of things to try to make his days better, and vice versa, according to each's time, talent and interest. If you do marry, I would recommend trying it that way, instead.

I agree with this. Wow so much hostility towards the idea of being a kind loving wife. When you get married do you want your husband to have that attitude too? "I'm not about to pick up milk/bread/whatever on my way home from work, she can do it herself". etc. Sounds like a fun marriage!

Wow! Arent' you in this together forever when you are married? You both have to help each other, whether it's making his lunch or dressing him. What if he gets sick or disabled? Ouch for the original poster. I truly feel bad for you. I'd do anything for my fiance, however he would do the same for me.

sms1986

You may find MHO offensive, but here it is:
If your husband is over 12, its time he took responsibility for his own lunch.
I stopped making lunches for my kids when they got old enough to do it themselves. It's time for him to grow up and make his own lunch.

I agree. I don't mean to offend in any way, but he's a fully grown man and should be able to make his own lunch by now.

sms1986

If I were married, I'm not about to make a grown man his lunch for work. If you have to make him his lunch might as well dress him too.

whoa there over-reaction!

No offence, but none of the posts that you were quoted were over-reactions. In fact, it was your posts that were overreacting.

CMmrsfloyd

It might seem like you're limited to sandwiches b/c he works outdoors but really there are ways to work around that issue. It you get a good thermos, there are lots of things that you can heat up really hot, pack it in the thermos and it will be just right by lunchtime. Or if you want to send something cold like a salad or wrap you can pack it in a small cooler with ice or ice packs. Baked pasta, chili, soups, lots of things would work great nuked and packed in a thermos. Really lots of leftovers would work great this way and would save you some prep time in the mornings.

My first reaction was kind of 'tell him to do it himself' LOL but if it's something you feel you want to do to help him out then I'd just try and get a little more creative with it and see if that gets him interested. Sometimes there are things in a marriage that you don't 'have' to do but it makes you feel good to do it for your spouse, even though they are perfectly capable of doing it themselves.

Also, keep in mind that some days he may not feel very hungry or may be so busy he doesn't want to take the time out to eat. But aside from that, if boredom is the problem then try switching things up a bit and also ask him what types of things he would like to find in his lunchbox, or even ask what the other people he works with like to bring. That might spark some ideas for you. :-)

catlady100

I think that it's nice that you take the time to make his lunch. My husband used to do that for me, and there were days when lunchtime rolled around that I just didn't feel like eating what he had packed or I just felt like leaving the office (rough day) and going out for lunch with the co-workers. I still appreciated the packed lunches though.

apatrick106

He says just what everyone said.....I am tired of eating sandwiches! Because he works outside sandwiches really are his only choice! So when there is a subshop etc..close by him and the guys usally eat out!

Umm... wait. He's tired of eating sandwiches so he goes out with the guys to the **subshop** nearby and gets a sandwich?? LOL

LOL he will get pizza or cheese steak not another sandwich...lol

apatrick106

If I were married, I'm not about to make a grown man his lunch for work. If you have to make him his lunch might as well dress him too.

LOL Wow! Glad that's not the line my husband and I work with each other, it sounds miserable.

My husband and I try to do things to make the other happy all the time. I do all kinds of things to try to make his days better, and vice versa, according to each's time, talent and interest. If you do marry, I would recommend trying it that way, instead.

I agree with this. Wow so much hostility towards the idea of being a kind loving wife. When you get married do you want your husband to have that attitude too? "I'm not about to pick up milk/bread/whatever on my way home from work, she can do it herself". etc. Sounds like a fun marriage!

Wow! Arent' you in this together forever when you are married? You both have to help each other, whether it's making his lunch or dressing him. What if he gets sick or disabled? Ouch for the original poster. I truly feel bad for you. I'd do anything for my fiance, however he would do the same for me.

Amen Ladies!! Well said!!

apatrick106

You may find MHO offensive, but here it is:
If your husband is over 12, its time he took responsibility for his own lunch.
I stopped making lunches for my kids when they got old enough to do it themselves. It's time for him to grow up and make his own lunch.

I agree. I don't mean to offend in any way, but he's a fully grown man and should be able to make his own lunch by now.

He sure can make his sandwich but as one post said healthy relationships do things for each other that the other enjoys!
I help him he helps me!

SarabellPlus3

You may find MHO offensive, but here it is:
If your husband is over 12, its time he took responsibility for his own lunch.
I stopped making lunches for my kids when they got old enough to do it themselves. It's time for him to grow up and make his own lunch.

I agree. I don't mean to offend in any way, but he's a fully grown man and should be able to make his own lunch by now.

Of course he's "ABLE" to. Is that what life's about? Refusing to do anything but the bare minimum and resentful to activelyl trying to help others out? How about in the bedroom? "You're capable of doing it yourself, so you're on your own, buddy." LOL

No, that would be a sad marriage, for me anyway. We do all kinds of stuff for each other. Just like he doesn't say "now you go mow half the lawn, because I'm not doing it for you." I'm happy to make him most of our meals. We each do the things we like to do, according to our own time and talents, not according to what you or some other internet stranger thinks we should be doing, and it works pretty well. For instance, I usually make dinner because I am good at it and enjoy it. I could just say "screw you, honey, make your own dinner because you CAN." But why would I? To prove some silly point? No thanks.

I think it's a better way than a bitter "you do it yourself and eff-off" attitude.

marzahl68

Ask your husband what he would like for lunch or ask him if he wants to take home made lunch to begin with. Might be that he would rather eat out with the rest of the guys at work. Unless you actually ask him why he doesn't eat the lunch you pack, I wouldn't jump the gun and get mad at him.

My husband is totally capable of making his own lunch (and he is even capable of baking the bread to make the sandwich!) but I would not mind a bit doing it for him because he does things for me too! I think this is what love and marriage is about. You do things for each other and it's never a question of whether or not the other person is old enough to do it themselves. It's not always a 50/50 deal and everything is unconditional. If my home made lunch makes my husband feel loved and taken care of, I will get up 15 minutes earlier to fix it for him.

I get up at 4 am every morning and there is always hot coffee waiting for my husband when he gets up. I never have to remember when to change the oil in my car, my husband does it for me.

One thing I won't do is do my daugther's laundry but that's not because I don't want to do things for her, it's because we're trying to raise her to be self reliant. I will fix her lunch if she takes lunch to school but she can also do it herself because we taught her.

I'll never forget the time when hubby and I both came down with the flu. Sunday night dinner was half cooked when I decided I just couldn't stay up any longer and needed some rest. Later that evening, our daugther came and said "Don't worry guys, I finished cooking dinner for us. Let's eat, I'm hungry!" She was 13 at the time and dinner was aweful but it was the best Sunday night dinner ever because we knew she had learned something from us: be there for one another, unconditionally!

calibri

My boyfriend takes care of his own lunches; I don't think he would like me making his lunches for him since he is a picky eater. It's cool that you make his lunch; it's a nice small gesture.

Run4iiiiiit

wish my wife would fix me a sammich

THIS!!!

jessegreathouse

Is he asking you to make lunch for him every day?

If he's asking you to prepare lunch for him every day then you should be annoyed.

If it's not requested then no, he doesn't want lunch and that has nothing to do with you and you have no place to be upset. He's a man, he does what he wants and this is the nature of a man. If he always did what you wanted him to, what kind of a man would he be? One that is tethered to the commands of a woman? That is against the nature of a woman and thus is no kind of man in my opinion.

Regardless, stop making lunch for him. He either doesn't want it, or doesn't appreciate it, depending on the answer to the first question I posed. If your husband prepared a bonfire every day for you to cook with, but you didn't use it because you preferred to cook on the stove, would you expect him to continue making you a fire every day? Couples should do things for each other, but that doesn't mean they should force these things on each other.

servilia

Is he asking you to make lunch for him every day?

If he's asking you to prepare lunch for him every day then you should be annoyed.

If it's not requested then no, he doesn't want lunch and that has nothing to do with you and you have no place to be upset. He's a man, he does what he wants and this is the nature of a man. If he always did what you wanted him to, what kind of a man would he be? One that is tethered to the commands of a woman? That is against the nature of a woman and thus is no kind of man in my opinion.

Regardless, stop making lunch for him. He either doesn't want it, or doesn't appreciate it, depending on the answer to the first question I posed. If your husband prepared a bonfire every day for you to cook with, but you didn't use it because you preferred to cook on the stove, would you expect him to continue making you a fire every day? Couples should do things for each other, but that doesn't mean they should force these things on each other.

The thread is two years old

NonnyMary

I pack my husband’s lunch every day, make a sandwich, snacks, drinks etc...and there are days when he comes home and I empty his cooler and he did not eat his lunch! The snacks do not bother me but when I see his sandwich still in the container it IRKS the Bleep out of me! I take time out of my morning to pack his lunch and he does even eat it! I work also so to me that is time wasted I could be out of the door 15 mins sooner! He is blue collar and I have office job and know his job is much harder physically so I thought making his lunch would be nice and give him a lil more time to relax in the morning, but now I am getting really fed up!

Do I have a right to mad?Should I just make the sandwhich and get over?

He does work really hard and works on the weekends etc...to make sure we have everything we need/want does an uneaten sandwich really matter?????

Your husband should make his own lunch. You can provide the shopping if you want.. he can select what he wants from your pantry/cupboard/shelves. If he forgets his lunch one day, he will be hungry and then next day will not forget to make his lunch. he is grown and should know how to pack his own lunch.

clarkeje1

I would talk to him about it. If he would like you to continue to pack his lunch then the expectation should be that he is going to eat it. If he doesn't want to eat it then he needs to communicate that with you. I would let him know that if you find his lunch in there again then you will stop packing it for him.

Alluminati