Smug marrieds? **generalization alert!**

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  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    It's cool. I can get smug about never being married from time to time.
  • LilMissFoodie
    LilMissFoodie Posts: 612 Member
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    I've seen some folks on here suggest marrieds might be smug,..

    I think that says more about the person suggesting it and the way they feel about their own lives than anything else. I realise it is not yourself that you are talking about :)
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
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    Why should a married couple hide their happiness together? Being happy with your wife/husband does not mean you are trying to shove it in your single friends' faces. Especially newly weds. Let them be in that newly wed love bubble and leave them alone. I have never met a person who is smug just because he/she is married. Except those real house wives....those are some smug b*tches. :grumble:
  • shanolap
    shanolap Posts: 1,204 Member
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    I guess if I'm happily married, confident in our relationship and content...that makes me smug? If it does, I don't give a rats azz.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I don't think it's an issue of thinking marriage isn't a good thing. I think people who want to be married but have a SO who doesn't or those who don't have a SO at all get tired of hearing about how awesome marriage is. To be fair though, I think when marriage is something you really want and don't have, you tend to glamorize it. You only see the things you are wistful about, like not having someone to come home to every night. You don't usually consider the times when spouses really get on each other's nerves and would rather NOT come home that night, but they have to because they're married.

    I also agree that it's the newlyweds who are the most annoying, especially in this day and age, when they're posting pictures of their happy selves all over Facebook and blogging about how awesome married life is and how in love they are. Yes, in reality, it is a beautiful thing worth celebrating, but when you don't have the same thing, it gets old. It's selfish, but it's human nature.
  • _GlaDOS_
    _GlaDOS_ Posts: 1,520 Member
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    I personally find marriage itself to be an odd concept.

    I don't think people should hide that they are happy together, but I do often come across more people, married and single, that look down on people who choose to never get married, especially women who make that choice.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    At the risk of hitting a hornet's nest with a big pointed stick... I've been accused of being a "smug married," but it's only been by people who were desperate and bitter about being chronically single. It was easier to lash out at those happily married than to take a hard look at their own mistakes.
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
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    hmm Interesting thread. Married to my guy coming up on 30 years in 2012. 2nd Marriage for us both. I figure a person can be happy with their life no matter what their status and if that means they are smug? Oh well, life changes all the time, marriage is hard work, have been happy, un happy, and just ok in both situations (single or married). PS: Really happy at this stage. He's coming home tonight after being gone nearly a week! woo hoo.
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
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    hmm Interesting thread. Married to my guy coming up on 30 years in 2012. 2nd Marriage for us both. I figure a person can be happy with their life no matter what their status and if that means they are smug? Oh well, life changes all the time, marriage is hard work, have been happy, un happy, and just ok in both situations (single or married). PS: Really happy at this stage. He's coming home tonight after being gone nearly a week! woo hoo.

    Guess that makes smug (at least today). :love:
  • april_beth
    april_beth Posts: 617 Member
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    i can say i have never heard of this and if someone feels that "marrieds" are being smug, it's, in my opinion, because they are jealous that they havent found "the one" for them...
  • 4thehardman
    4thehardman Posts: 731 Member
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    Um, let me think about this.
    I met a guy who became a great friend and I fell head over heals in love with him. For some strange reason not only did he feel the same way but he decided to honour those feelings and our relationship infront of the people in our lives we hold closest to our hearts by promising that he would love and honour me forever. I grew up thinking I was worthless, miserable fat and ugly. I found a guy who all of a sudden made me feel like he was my home. I'm not smug. I'm happy. Happier than I ever thought i could be, much happier than i thought i deserved to be. It hasn't been an easy ride. we have had to work hard to hold our family together through financial and emotional rollercoasters,
    I'm not smug that I'm married but I'm damn proud of how far we have come and I'm sorry if that bothers some people. Some people with new cars may seem smug, some people with cute kids, a big house, new boobs, whatever but its perhaps happiness not smugness and you don't always know the story of what got them there. Sometimes the happy took hell of a lot of obstacles to get over first.
    That said. When I lose my weight I will be smug. Really annoying smug. I really will and I am going to piss so many people off and I won't care. Bring on the Happy!
  • Katefab26
    Katefab26 Posts: 865
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    I only find them to be smug when they are recently married and wanting to show off how great their new life is.

    Generally I avoid them for a few years after that.

    EDIT: Those are just the annoying "friends" who would be impolitic to "unfriend".

    Unfriend me and see what happens, Kate.... :wink:

    Hahaha I don't think you're smug...so there!! :tongue:
  • Katefab26
    Katefab26 Posts: 865
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    My definition of "smug married": Someone who gets married after years of singleness just like me, then feels that it is their duty to give me relationship advice when really they've only had one relationship that happened to work out. They also look at me pityingly and tell me not to worry, they're "sure" I'll find that right guy sometime, then proceed to try to set me up with the oldest friends they have.

    Make sense?

    ETA: "Oldest" really means age -- I think men in their late 40's are great, but I'm not really interested in dating someone who is within 10 years of my father :ohwell:
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    I have no idea shat smug means in regards to my marriage.

    Other than those in my "inner circle" I could care less how anybody characterizes me or my marriage.

    We make it work by not allowing outsiders influence our relationship.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    Oh I am not smug. Marriage is hard. So even though I am happy, wouldn't trade him in, glad to be working on year 14... I don't think it makes me special. And I have total jealous days of single friends when they do what they want, when they want without having to worry about anyone else.

    I like this answer! ^^^
  • george_ie_girl
    george_ie_girl Posts: 120 Member
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    I generally think people in relationships or marriages are boring - this isn't everyone, but some of my friends anyway. They don't go out as much, aren't as keen to meet new people, don't have as much time for friends, they think about money and responsibility, they have to take their partners into consideration before making any decisions and don't do as much stupid *kitten* when drunk.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    I don't see any evidence of married couples being smug, but sometimes when friends first get a boyfriend/girlfriend, they aren't very good friends for a while as they tend to be wrapped up in the new relationship. After a few months things settle back into more normal, and I think the smugness stops there. Most people I know ***** about their OH, which I think is rather sad.
  • melizerd
    melizerd Posts: 870 Member
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    I generally think people in relationships or marriages are boring - this isn't everyone, but some of my friends anyway. They don't go out as much, aren't as keen to meet new people, don't have as much time for friends, they think about money and responsibility, they have to take their partners into consideration before making any decisions and don't do as much stupid *kitten* when drunk.

    some of this is just growing up, and realizing that doing stupid stuff while drunk isn't that fun anymore. I'd rather go to a good show and have a good dinner with friends (single or married) than get **** faced and fall down the stairs.

    I'm 29 and got over doing that stuff awhile ago, most of my other friends who are the same age, even the non-married ones, aren't doing that stuff anymore either.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    I generally think people in relationships or marriages are boring - this isn't everyone, but some of my friends anyway. They don't go out as much, aren't as keen to meet new people, don't have as much time for friends, they think about money and responsibility, they have to take their partners into consideration before making any decisions and don't do as much stupid *kitten* when drunk.

    some of this is just growing up, and realizing that doing stupid stuff while drunk isn't that fun anymore. I'd rather go to a good show and have a good dinner with friends (single or married) than get **** faced and fall down the stairs.

    I'm 29 and got over doing that stuff awhile ago, most of my other friends who are the same age, even the non-married ones, aren't doing that stuff anymore either.

    Exactly. It's not boring, it's just having a different definition of interesting. I'd rather go to an exhibition of illuminated manuscripts these days than go out and get ratted and fall into bed at 4am and spend the next 2 days feeling rough.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Some people are helplessly Smug. I'd argue, divorcees may tend to also be smug :bigsmile:

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