how to make it up to him

13

Replies

  • SarabellPlus3
    SarabellPlus3 Posts: 496 Member
    Well, do you respect him wanting you to be nicer about this, or do you want to be condescending to it? I mean, if I was really sorry, and respected that he didn't want this to be something I laugh about then I'd apologize sincerely (which it sounds like you did), and give him enough time to cool off (which is up to HIM). I'd maybe text him to call you when he's ready. And then I'd be kind about it, not condescending or rude or implying that he's being a baby or something.

    If it IS something dumb, or you think he's being a baby or stupid or the myriad other things posters have said or implied, then I'd just leave it at that, and avoid the topic in the future, and go on with life.

    :)
  • SarabellPlus3
    SarabellPlus3 Posts: 496 Member
    *I don't think taking time to cool off when you're angry at all fits the parameters of "passive agressive."
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 992 Member
    If it was as sensitive a topic as it sounds like, I'd let him cool down. You've apologised, and he obviously needs space. I know I would if my SO was accidentally insensitive to a sensitive topic of mine. When he's ready, just sit down and listen again to him.
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    Me personally, I would tell him to "SUCK IT UP", but I really don't care how my husband feels. So if you do, don't listen to me.

    Why do you not care about how your husband feels? Can't imagine not caring how my wife feels. In fact,I care about the feelings of some people I don't even like, let alone love.

    Hmm! If you only knew, you would understand.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Thanks peeps. I had sent him that text, then a call when we usually talk (yes we talk every day just after lunch because that's when he takes our son to day care). While there are times when I tell him to suck it up, this wasn't one of them. I think this was one of those times where he honestly didn't want me to see how worried he was.

    But . . . I'm am out of the dog house and at least on the porch because he did call me. We did have a chat, it was fine. Looks like I'm going to be making him a strawberry rhubarb crisp when I get home though, just in case! (an no, that is not a euphemism)
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    Me personally, I would tell him to "SUCK IT UP", but I really don't care how my husband feels. So if you do, don't listen to me.

    Why do you not care about how your husband feels? Can't imagine not caring how my wife feels. In fact,I care about the feelings of some people I don't even like, let alone love.

    Hmm! If you only knew, you would understand.
    I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the OP does care how her husband feels.
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    I vote BJ.

    Kidding.....






    sorta. :bigsmile:

    No, no. I think you have it right. MEN HAVE NEEDS TOO!!! :sad:

    This was my solution before i even read what the problem was! :laugh:
  • Secret_Agent_007
    Secret_Agent_007 Posts: 1,082
    :tongue:
    I vote BJ.

    Kidding.....






    sorta. :bigsmile:



    No, no. I think you have it right. MEN HAVE NEEDS TOO!!! :sad:

    Pfft! That was MY answer....NOT kidding.



    And thats why we love you so much. :tongue:
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    You know him better than probably anyone. You know when to give him distance, and when you really need to make it up to him. Since you don't say precisely what he was trying to relay, I think it's safe to assume that you've already rejected the idea of just giving him space. It sounds as though you've already decided that what you did warrants some type of gesture.

    Food is nice if you're hungry, and...other stuff...is nice if you're, uhm, in need? But if you are hurt, you need to feel valued and loved. Get him something or do something specifically related to your conversation to show that you were listening and you want to help. If he was complaining about his back, make him an appointment for a massage, for example. Or give him one yourself, and then...uhm...other naughty stuff would probably be appreciated as well. *sigh* I kept it clean, folks...but I'm white-knuckling it over here.

    And that's what she said! D'OH!
  • ennaejay
    ennaejay Posts: 575
    Looks like I'm going to be making him a strawberry rhubarb crisp when I get home though, just in case! (an no, that is not a euphemism)

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    I thought DH was dumb husband... All this time I was like..whew others like me! :-D
    Well, you know. It's a versatile term.
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
    You should consider a BJ ASAP for your DH on the DL because it should make him LOL. A little BDSM never hurt either (or does it?)
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    Me personally, I would tell him to "SUCK IT UP", but I really don't care how my husband feels. So if you do, don't listen to me.

    Why do you not care about how your husband feels? Can't imagine not caring how my wife feels. In fact,I care about the feelings of some people I don't even like, let alone love.

    Hmm! If you only knew, you would understand.
    I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the OP does care how her husband feels.

    I know she cares about her husband, or she wouldn't have posted the thread. Just letting her know what I would do. I even told her in my post not listen to me.
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    BJ!!!:devil:
  • livnlite
    livnlite Posts: 520
    *I don't think taking time to cool off when you're angry at all fits the parameters of "passive agressive."

    I agree. THAT is not being 'agressive' at all. That is being 'reactive'.

    Some people just simply have a tough time with intimacy and opening up. He may be one of those people, who took a leap of faith and started to share something he thought he could with someone he dearly loves and trusts .. only to be blown off. It's humiliating and hurtful .. but, now that it has turned into something that was never intended, it may take a little time to cool off, accompanied with some TLC and all will be forgiven .. eventually. Don't be surprised if he doesn't open up again anytime in the near future. A few steps backward can be counterbalanced .. it just takes time, and a lot of love, and perhaps a promise to be more considerate in the future.

    I hope it all works out!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Don't worry, once we have it all worked out I will help him buff the hard woods, a spit shine may be in order at that point
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
    Don't worry, once we have it all worked out I will help him buff the hard woods, a spit shine may be in order at that point

    Haha. We only have carpet in our house. Wait! grrr!
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
    If you need to ask how to make up to a man, you have far greater problems....
  • wendorfa
    wendorfa Posts: 53
    DH = Dear/Darling Husband

    If you have kids, send them to the neighbours, cook him a nice dinner and spend the evening talking to him. Really listen to what he is saying, offer advice, support and whatever else he needs from you. Ask him point blank what you can do to make it up to him and don't let him just say "nothing" or "it's fine" because then neither of you will be happy. I can't think of much else, I'm sure we're all guilty of not paying close enough attention to our significant others now and then so the best you can do is make the extra effort to really listen.

    That and then yeah I can think of something else :blushing:
  • wendorfa
    wendorfa Posts: 53
    BJ!!!:devil:

    This! :love:

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