how to make it up to him

wendorfa

BJ!!!:devil:

This!

heathersmilez

Dear Husband . . . this is exactly why I call him "hubs" on here, but apparently this offends some people . . . :ohwell:

Oh you must have written in that thread yesterday like me! I had posted if more people in MFP were "with it" we could all write DH so that "hubby" stops pissing people off. If we can ever make it through a day w/o someone asking what bump is perhaps one day MFP can be grown up enough enough to stop writing such silly questions. Google is right there people!!!

Regarding your topic, sorry I can't comment and I think it will be hard for anyone too w/o knowing the subject matter which you understandably aren't disclosing.

kalexander2005

Hey There,

Please remember to reserve sexual content for posts made in Groups, per this item of the guidelines: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines

17. No Profane, Vulgar, or Sexually Explicit Language

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Thanks,
Steven
MyFitnessPal Staff

thank you! sheesh!

Kimdbro

*I don't think taking time to cool off when you're angry at all fits the parameters of "passive agressive."

Everyone needs time to cool, this doesn' t mean ignoring several attempts to apologize and completely shutting out the other person, we're not talking about a workmate or casual aquaintence here, we're talking about a spouse, with being someone's spouse comes responsibility. A simple text back saying, 'thank you for the apology, I just need time to cool off" is easy enough without backing down or not giving oneself time to be angry or hurt. Make no mistake, ignoring someone, and giving the silent treatment is a form of punishment, and that is passive aggressive behavior.

http://whatispsychology.net/why-do-some-people-use-the-passive-aggressive-silent-treatment/

SarabellPlus3

Kimdbro, I guess I just don't find it's to my benefit in life to be that sensitive.

OP, any updates?

Kimdbro

Kimdbro, I guess I just don't find it's to my benefit in life to be that sensitive.

OP, any updates?

ScarabellPlus3, Clearly the original writer of the thread is sensitive to this behavior or she wouldn't have posted the question in the first place. It's actually not about you.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Wow, I wasn't expecting this to get bumped. Yeah, we're fine. He came home, we had another discussion, without me giggling and with him articulating a bit better. It was a win-win . . . which is nice because I totally didn't have time to make the crisp (although I will be making whoopie pies tonight so that may make him feel better . . . and again that is not an euphamism)

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Kimdbro, I guess I just don't find it's to my benefit in life to be that sensitive.

OP, any updates?

ScarabellPlus3, Clearly the original writer of the thread is sensitive to this behavior or she wouldn't have posted the question in the first place. It's actually not about you.

While passive aggressive does tend to be my DH's warfare of choice, I think this time it was more of a "I need to walk away from this." Than a punishment. I can't say what happened after he hung up, but I can say that when he cooled down and took a napper he did call me back.

SarabellPlus3

Kimdbro, I guess I just don't find it's to my benefit in life to be that sensitive.

OP, any updates?

ScarabellPlus3, Clearly the original writer of the thread is sensitive to this behavior or she wouldn't have posted the question in the first place. It's actually not about you.

I thought everything was about me!

Of course. I don't think the OP was real hurt, I thought she was more looking to the solution to her problem.

To answer, IMO, the best solution is likely to be to give him a little time to cool off, then talking with him in a respectful way, I wouldn't want to overreact. Telling someone they're being passive agressive isn't likely to help as much, I didn't think. You're welcome to think otherwise, but I just don't think it needs a dX.


edit: I see your update now, OP, hope it went well!

Kimdbro

Wow, I wasn't expecting this to get bumped. Yeah, we're fine. He came home, we had another discussion, without me giggling and with him articulating a bit better. It was a win-win . . . which is nice because I totally didn't have time to make the crisp (although I will be making whoopie pies tonight so that may make him feel better . . . and again that is not an euphamism)

That's awesome, it's good when it turns into win-win. And the good news is you didn't have to perform any of the suggested 'jobs' previously listed throughout this thread - lol.
cheers,
K

Kimdbro

Kimdbro, I guess I just don't find it's to my benefit in life to be that sensitive.

OP, any updates?

ScarabellPlus3, Clearly the original writer of the thread is sensitive to this behavior or she wouldn't have posted the question in the first place. It's actually not about you.

I thought everything was about me!

Of course. I don't think the OP was real hurt, I thought she was more looking to the solution to her problem.

To answer, IMO, the best solution is likely to be to give him a little time to cool off, then talking with him in a respectful way, I wouldn't want to overreact. Telling someone they're being passive agressive isn't likely to help as much, I didn't think. You're welcome to think otherwise, but I just don't think it needs a dX.


edit: I see your update now, OP, hope it went well!

lol - I think the absolute worst thing a person can do is TELL a person they are being passive aggressive. This was never my suggestion. To recognize a potential behavior, be it in a moment, or overall trait, simply aides one in assessing how they proceed with handling the situation. Chasing after someone, or repeatedly asking for forgiveness when they are ignoring you is pointless and they eventually peter out and come around. I suspect we're saying the same thing.
Cheers,
KB