Once a cheater, always a cheater?

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  • Secret_Agent_007
    Secret_Agent_007 Posts: 1,082
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    This thread should be titled:

    Ladies, keep your man happy.

    And the flip side....Men, keep your ladies happy.
    After falling in love with someone, it can be easy to forget what made your eyes roll back in your head in the first place. Don't become complacent with your relationships.....don't take your partner for granted.....


    It's a two-way street for sure. Keep busy at home and there will never be a need for strange.
  • LuciaLongIsland
    LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
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    Sounds nice , but how or why did they change? If it is about being lazy, or spoiled or overweight they change but I believe if it is a deep rooted personality issue they dont.

    I wish I believed that they did.
  • Momma24
    Momma24 Posts: 589 Member
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    Happy wife happy life :) ... but seriously, as men we need to lift up and look at our wife's needs above our own. Submission is the true measure of manhood ... when my wife and I are looking at one another first, we rock ...

    It doesn't mean that we can't look after ourselves ... we need to be strong, healthy, and loving ... but if our goal in life is to lift ourselves up, then we missed the point. Society has put a damper on the word submission ... but it's a beautiful thing when done properly and out of love.

    After 10 years of marriage, I can truly and honestly say each year has gotten better and better ... we are blessed indeed to have that mutual perspective!
    This thread should be titled:

    Ladies, keep your man happy.



    Yay, I guess I keep my man happy has never cheated in 19 years and still calls me his girl!






    So true, it is about taking care of each other just as well as you take care of yourself. Or as well as you should.
  • _beachgirl_
    _beachgirl_ Posts: 3,865 Member
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    The reason people cheat is because there is something wrong with the relationship and its not being communicated or not being heard, and you are not ready to just end it.

    They didn't cheat because they were happy. They cheated because you quite probably ignored issues that you may not have thought they were a big deal, but they did. Were you listening? Cause quite often people tell us whats wrong but we don't listen to what they had to say, even when we think we did. We tune it out because we dont want to hear our flaws.

    I couldn't disagree with this more. Every relationship has issues, no one's is perfect all the time. Cheating as a response to issues in the relationship is immature, selfish and irresponsible.
  • supertracylynn
    supertracylynn Posts: 1,338 Member
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    I think they were on a break.

    ^^ this.

    It's a mentality. I could go on for about an hour on this.
    To sum it up, there are 4 types of people:

    A true monogamist.
    A lying monogamist.
    An open person.
    The one who never settles down.

    These 4 types shouldn't inter-marry, that's just a recipe for disaster.
  • HMonsterX
    HMonsterX Posts: 3,000 Member
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    Then again...what actually constitutes cheating? It could be argued that relationships are like employment. You don't quit your current one till you have another lined up...

    /devil's advocate
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
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    I think it depends on the person. I cheated on my ex-husband. It was wrong and I knew that but I do NOT feel one bit bad about it. I never will. I should have left way before it got as bad as it did. So shame on me for staying. I am quite certain he also cheated on me - no proof but he had his girlfriend 2 days after we finally did split up - kinda soon. They are married now. Do I hope he cheats on her? I honestly don't give a rats a**. I hope people can change because I'm one of "those" people and would hate to be labeled as a cheater for life!
  • ilikejam33
    ilikejam33 Posts: 252 Member
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    Just my opinion...so please take it at that, I am not judging anyone else's view and do not wish this to sound harmful or mean to those who may have cheated in the past, but to me......

    Cheating = lying = not worth my time.

    They way i see it there is no excuse out there that justfyies it. If you want to cheat then dial the phone and break up first, the only reason someone cheats is out of cowarice to break it off with the other person, or an inability to control your urges "in the moment"

    The fact is that everyone who cheats made the decision to do it and thats the part of the behaviour i have an issue with. If you can actually make up your mind to perform this act of betryal, what type of person are you really.
    Cheating hurts people, if you are the type of person who could do this to another human being i do not believe you can change, and i could never be with you.

    I am not better than anyone else, I was in this situation and it sucks, but I knew the feelings wernt there anymore when i found "the one" which happened very unexpectedly so i made sure it was not even a possibility to see that person until i broke off my engagement , cancelled the wedding and sold the house. So it may sound harsh, but if the new person is worth it they wont want to be the one you cheated with either.
  • ojell
    ojell Posts: 749 Member
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    Every situation, everywhere is different.

    But by and large, you are right.

    <-- Reformed cheater

    I have to agree with this.
  • thankyou4thevenom
    thankyou4thevenom Posts: 1,581 Member
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    If my father is anything to go by 'once a cheater, always a cheater' until they meet the woman that puts his balls in a vice and he can't escape.
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
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    interesting thread. I think folks are capable of change if they really want to dig deep into themselves and work on whatever issue(s) plagues them. However, I suspect more often than not, folks aren't willing to put in the hard work necessary to do what is necessary to change.
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
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    depends on why the person cheated etc....if the person is just a dog then yes always a cheater, but if they cheated due to not getting something they need from relationship ie attn love etc then no.not always a cheater
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
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    It's good to have a cheat day once a week. Wait what were we talking about again?
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    Many people cheat because they aren't happy and the person they are is can no longer make them happy.

    People can cheat once and never do it again.

    I don't think it's a given that if you do it once, you will do it again. Every situation and person is different.
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    This thread should be titled:

    Ladies, keep your man happy.

    What about the men who haven't kept "their woman happy'?
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    Whether someone has cheated or not in the past, the potential will always be there. There will always be that pretty young thing at the office, or the really kind and attentive guy who lives across the street. It's unreasonable to expect your spouse to never be attracted, but the key is to never act on it, or put yourself in a situation that you could act on it.
    The best defense is a good offense. Don't play dumb, don't be naive. Every person is one stupid choice away from the worst mistake of their life.
    And if your wife likes flowers, pick her up some flowers. If your husband likes Apple pie, bake the man a pie. It's about finding ways to make each other feel special.
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    Ive been one AND had it done to me. It can happen in the best, most ideal relationships, no matter how much you love each other.

    The reason people cheat is because there is something wrong with the relationship and its not being communicated or not being heard, and you are not ready to just end it.

    Dont want to be a cheater? (talking in general here not a specific person) Sit down think about the reasons why you might then get your partners attention and spell it out for them, letting the know you have felt tempted. Youll feel better about it if you do. Getting caught can ruin your self image.

    You can't do much about your partner once they decide to cheat. But before you play the blame game and slaughter their names to the heavens, remember there were issues caused by both them AND you. They didn't cheat because they were happy. They cheated because you quite probably ignored issues that you may not have thought they were a big deal, but they did. Were you listening? Cause quite often people tell us whats wrong but we don't listen to what they had to say, even when we think we did. We tune it out because we dont want to hear our flaws.

    Im not refering to you but speaking in general, of course.

    Well said!!!
  • HMD7703
    HMD7703 Posts: 761 Member
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    It's good to have a cheat day once a week. Wait what were we talking about again?

    LMAO!! Too funny!

    I am kind of shocked by all the set in stone replies - I would never stick with a cheater. Well, NEWS FLASH, half the time you will not even know the SO cheated. Just saying.
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
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    It's only cheating if you get caught right?

    ;)
  • kimletton11
    kimletton11 Posts: 72 Member
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    WOW...there are a lot of different opinions on this one, thanks guys! I think that someone usually cheats because he/she is not happy in the relationship. I personally have never cheated on anyone and to my knowledge, have never been cheated on. I don't necessarily think it's anyones responsibility to keep anyone "happy" and I think happiness comes from yourself. You have to love yourself before you can love someone else.

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