When someone asks how much weight you have lost...

bjfmade

Okay, just wondering your thoughts on a male acquaintance (delivery person) asking a female how much weight she has lost. I was asked this yesterday by a male delivery person and it ticked me off. Maybe because I had already heard he had asked my sister and others the same question about me.
I was prepared I guess... He started by saying I looked great, but then went right into "How much weight have you lost?" I replied, how much does your wife weigh?.. He was a little startled, so I asked him again. He was a little flustered by my question.
I must say this is a guy that is more of a busy body than a woman is. I feel it is none of his business.
So, back to the question....Is it rude?

Nicolee_2014

It would be rude if, as you say, he is a busy body. Otherwise I would take it as a compliment. It's weird though, I've never had a male ask me how much weight I've lost (I don't think). It's usually the women & they want to know how I did it etc.

asyouseefit

I don't think it's rude. People usually like numbers, probabl gives them a better understanding of how much you have lost. (or so they think, as we know the number on the scales means nothing!)


"Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters. They never ask: "What does his voice sound like?" "What games does he like best?" "Does he collect butterflies?". They ask: "How old is he?" "How many brothers does he have?" "How much does he weigh?" "How much money does his father make?" Only then do they think they know him. "

(The Little Prince - St Exupéry)

DakotaKeogh

Probably not so much rude as just plain dumb. It's pretty well socially understood that weight and age are generally taboo subjects since people can feel sensitive about it. If he's been asking several people, not getting answers and is still asking, he sounds more like a dolt then a rude person.

jhardenbergh

I don't think it's rude, I find it rude when they ask how much do you weight now, cause I can see them trying to figure out it out in their head. I usually respond with less than you. I like getting asked how much I lost. On my bank card is an old picture of me and the bartender at the restaurant damn near crapped her pants and didn't believe it was me in the picture, same thing with the guy at the gym when I scanned my tag I didn't realize that my picture shows up on the screen behind the desk, he asked me who's tag I was using and said mine and if he wanted to see my license I could run out to my car to get it, that's an old picture of me too though.

0PhAtDaDdY

Okay, just wondering your thoughts on a male acquaintance (delivery person) asking a female how much weight she has lost. I was asked this yesterday by a male delivery person and it ticked me off. Maybe because I had already heard he had asked my sister and others the same question about me.
I was prepared I guess... He started by saying I looked great, but then went right into "How much weight have you lost?" I replied, how much does your wife weigh?.. He was a little startled, so I asked him again. He was a little flustered by my question.
I must say this is a guy that is more of a busy body than a woman is. I feel it is none of his business.
So, back to the question....Is it rude?

To me it seemed you where rude to him.... Hmmmm

Simomofmich

I think you're reply was rude. I mean you obviously have the right to be as uptight as you want to. He did not ask how much you weigh, he asked how much weight you lost. A big difference. A compliment even.

bjfmade

He is a busy body and had already asked my sister and my husband (those are the ones I know of). Neither one would tell him anything. My husband actually told him it was none of his business and he still asked me. Small town busy bodies.

jhardenbergh

I do agree with the guy above about asking other people that just seems too damn creepy

pinkgigi

It depends who it is. If it is just an aquaintance like this, you could say what I said last year to a busybody "that's a pretty personal question to ask a lady". He was suitably chastened.

However, for friends, I've told them.

GG

bjfmade

Probably not so much rude as just plain dumb. It's pretty well socially understood that weight and age are generally taboo subjects since people can feel sensitive about it. If he's been asking several people, not getting answers and is still asking, he sounds more like a dolt then a rude person.

This!
The compliment was appreciated, but, men shouldn't ask women numbers...

newarkco05

He is a busy body and had already asked my sister and my husband (those are the ones I know of). Neither one would tell him anything. My husband actually told him it was none of his business and he still asked me. Small town busy bodies.

Then why did you bother asking on here? :noway:

capriciousmoon

I don't care if people know my weight, so I wouldn't be offended. I also never really cared if anyone called me fat. It's just facts, it isn't anything to be ashamed of. It really depends on my mood though...

* honest answer

or

* act shocked, like the weight loss wasn't intentional and if it's something to worry about

0PhAtDaDdY

He is a busy body and had already asked my sister and my husband (those are the ones I know of). Neither one would tell him anything. My husband actually told him it was none of his business and he still asked me. Small town busy bodies.

It's nice to live in a small town you only have to pay your bills everyone else will take care of ya business.

TourThePast

"Wow you look really fat, how much weight have you put on?" <--- Rude

"Wow you look really great, how much weight did you lose?" <--- Not rude

Losing weight is an achievement, one that a lot of people aspire to, I totally fail to see how the question can be construed as rude.

I replied, how much does your wife weigh?.. He was a little startled, so I asked him again. He was a little flustered by my question.

Your response to a perfectly civil question, that left him feeling discombobulated was rude. You could quite politely have replied "I'd rather not say".

Perhaps his wife or a female friend looks about the same as you did before you lost weight and is dieting, and he's wondering how much they'd have to lose to look as great as you.

In any case, I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. In my experience there are a lot of people who open their mouths without engaging their brain, but very very few actually rude or genuinely unkind people.

fyfi_fendir

rude? may depends why he asked. I would have given him the benefice of the doubt... If it makes you uncomfortable why don't you just say so rather than attacking him. As far as we know he may be having family member struggling with weight and was honestly interested on how much you lost, how fast, how you did it... I understand your point, some people feel uncomfortable when people ask such question, especially if he is not a friend, but me I would just say : i am sorry I don't want to share this information... well just me...

Jess5825

I think it is rude. I won't even tell friends how much I lost. I am not one for discussing it.

bjfmade

I think it is rude. I won't even tell friends how much I lost. I am not one for discussing it.

Me either

newarkco05

For those who has issues with people knowing how much you have lost, then why do you have a ticker in your signature?

jhardenbergh

For those who has issues with people knowing how much you have lost, then why do you have a ticker in your signature?

Touche

bjfmade

For those who has issues with people knowing how much you have lost, then why do you have a ticker in your signature?

Different environment.