When someone asks how much weight you have lost...

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  • kdb247
    kdb247 Posts: 326 Member
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    Okay, just wondering your thoughts on a male acquaintance (delivery person) asking a female how much weight she has lost. I was asked this yesterday by a male delivery person and it ticked me off. Maybe because I had already heard he had asked my sister and others the same question about me.
    I was prepared I guess... He started by saying I looked great, but then went right into "How much weight have you lost?" I replied, how much does your wife weigh?.. He was a little startled, so I asked him again. He was a little flustered by my question.
    I must say this is a guy that is more of a busy body than a woman is. I feel it is none of his business.
    So, back to the question....Is it rude?
  • Steph_Marie29
    Steph_Marie29 Posts: 75
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    I proudly tell people who much weight I've lost. i am happy with my weight loss :)
  • cjpg
    cjpg Posts: 433 Member
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    He is a busy body and had already asked my sister and my husband (those are the ones I know of). Neither one would tell him anything. My husband actually told him it was none of his business and he still asked me. Small town busy bodies.

    The guy just doesn't know when to quit. I would have been a lot more firm in my words to him... more like 2 words... with a hand gesture.
    I don't feel its defensive or oversensitive to react like that - people get on other people's nerves, and conflicts happen no matter where you go.

    Wasn't rude, it was a natural response.
  • elmo42
    elmo42 Posts: 2
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    not rude, compliment that he has noticed, you have obviously make progress with you weightloss for him to ask.
  • HMonsterX
    HMonsterX Posts: 3,000 Member
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    Probably not so much rude as just plain dumb. It's pretty well socially understood that weight and age are generally taboo subjects since people can feel sensitive about it. If he's been asking several people, not getting answers and is still asking, he sounds more like a dolt then a rude person.
    This!
    The compliment was appreciated, but, men shouldn't ask women numbers...

    Why not? You always say you want to be treated the same as men.



    Women say chivalry is dead. And who killed it? Women.
  • kdb247
    kdb247 Posts: 326 Member
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    Yes, your reply was rude.
  • significance
    significance Posts: 436 Member
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    I think you're reply was rude. I mean you obviously have the right to be as uptight as you want to. He did not ask how much you weigh, he asked how much weight you lost. A big difference. A compliment even.

    It is a big difference, but not a compliment, and very rude. Her reply was deliberately rude to point that out - she didn't except an answer: she expected to make him stop and think what he was asking. I'd much rather tell people (outside this forum) how much I weigh now, at a healthy weight, than how much I have lost (and hence how shamefully overweight I was).
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
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    I'm kind of wondering why it was important for us to know that he was delivery person. If it was a female delivery person asking you instead of a male, would it be any different?

    To answer your question though, no I don't think it was rude. People make comments about my weight loss all the time and then I hear about it after.. and it is what it is. People will always talk and be nosy.. it's human nature :)
  • Pamu101
    Pamu101 Posts: 33
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    I think that your answer was rude. :S
  • TazzytheMotivator
    TazzytheMotivator Posts: 646 Member
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    None of his business. Good for you great job on your weight loss. I have 14 more pounds to go to reach my goal.:flowerforyou:
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
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    I'm never offended by someone asking me "How much weight have you lost?". I'm proud to tell someone how much I've lost. Heck, I'll even tell you the before and after numbers... I guess for me - my age (proudly 36) and my weight (proudly 145) aren't a big deal to me. I know women who DO get offended by being asked - but not me. *shrug*. I'm proud of who I am.
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
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    I work with 80% men-all but abt 3 are much younger than me. After a while, they started asking 'have you been working out?' Then it was ' can I ask how much weight you have lost'. I am a pretty open person and would gladly say ' as of today I have lost xx' finally a few of them starting teasing me about how much younger I was looking and be careful not to blow away. They were/are some of my best supporters. I am pleased they asked and surprised that they cared enough to keep cheering me on. I think it is all about how you feel about yourself. That is just me.
  • Simomofmich
    Simomofmich Posts: 126 Member
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    I think you're reply was rude. I mean you obviously have the right to be as uptight as you want to. He did not ask how much you weigh, he asked how much weight you lost. A big difference. A compliment even.

    It is a big difference, but not a compliment, and very rude. Her reply was deliberately rude to point that out - she didn't except an answer: she expected to make him stop and think what he was asking. I'd much rather tell people (outside this forum) how much I weigh now, at a healthy weight, than how much I have lost (and hence how shamefully overweight I was).

    Wrong.

    Ask any male and if they are saying anything to a female about noticing their weight loss it is a compliment.
  • neanderthin
    neanderthin Posts: 10,020 Member
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    He just doesn't have the worldly experience to know there's a few questions you should never ask a woman, simply because men are from mars and women from venus.:laugh: Guys that don't know, simply ask as if they were asking a buddy, not to get personal but just being curious,
  • Figuringoutme
    Figuringoutme Posts: 330
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    a lot of people ask me how much I've lost. I find it odd but not really rude, more curious. You can always say "I'd rather not share that"
  • metisgirl
    metisgirl Posts: 86 Member
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    For myself it is a compliment. It is nice when people notice that you have lost weight or that you are looking good.....It's definitely a positive....To lose weight and have no one praise you with a positive comment would be very depressing and would be more damaging and would probably cause someone to go off of their diet plan.....
  • moniquelessard
    moniquelessard Posts: 418
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    You can answer "it's a secret" and then smile. My dad asked me how much weight I've lost and I said "it's a secret". You see my dad is THE WORST gossip in the world - he would have told EVERYONE. I don't want to jinx it too much, so until I've met my goal, I only tell a select few how much I've lost. :)
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
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    silly humans
  • realme56
    realme56 Posts: 1,093 Member
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    I think it is natural to ask how much a person has lost, human curiosity. I agree with others that your answer to him was very rude. You could have just said "I prefer not to say"
  • moniquelessard
    moniquelessard Posts: 418
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    PS. I think it is very rude to ask someone about their weight if you are not INCREDIBLY close to them. I think it's ok to say "hey, you're looking fit!" or "wow, you have a healthy glow lately". Otherwise it becomes to personal.

    I know someone who struggles with bulimia and anorexia and she once told me that it's awful when someone either criticizes or comments or congratulates her on her weight. You never know HOW someone has gone about losing/gaining weight and it is incredibly rude to get too personal about it.

    I say people should ask questions like "wow you're looking healthy, what's your secret?"

    I can almost compare it to asking a woman if she is pregnant. Two rules on that;

    1) If the preg woman aint talking, then don't ask. If she wants you to know, she will say something.
    2) If you don't see a head crowning, DON'T ASK.

    ;)

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