When someone asks how much weight you have lost...

2

Replies

  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    I'm never offended by someone asking me "How much weight have you lost?". I'm proud to tell someone how much I've lost. Heck, I'll even tell you the before and after numbers... I guess for me - my age (proudly 36) and my weight (proudly 145) aren't a big deal to me. I know women who DO get offended by being asked - but not me. *shrug*. I'm proud of who I am.
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,412 Member
    I work with 80% men-all but abt 3 are much younger than me. After a while, they started asking 'have you been working out?' Then it was ' can I ask how much weight you have lost'. I am a pretty open person and would gladly say ' as of today I have lost xx' finally a few of them starting teasing me about how much younger I was looking and be careful not to blow away. They were/are some of my best supporters. I am pleased they asked and surprised that they cared enough to keep cheering me on. I think it is all about how you feel about yourself. That is just me.
  • Simomofmich
    Simomofmich Posts: 126 Member
    I think you're reply was rude. I mean you obviously have the right to be as uptight as you want to. He did not ask how much you weigh, he asked how much weight you lost. A big difference. A compliment even.

    It is a big difference, but not a compliment, and very rude. Her reply was deliberately rude to point that out - she didn't except an answer: she expected to make him stop and think what he was asking. I'd much rather tell people (outside this forum) how much I weigh now, at a healthy weight, than how much I have lost (and hence how shamefully overweight I was).

    Wrong.

    Ask any male and if they are saying anything to a female about noticing their weight loss it is a compliment.
  • neanderthin
    neanderthin Posts: 10,268 Member
    He just doesn't have the worldly experience to know there's a few questions you should never ask a woman, simply because men are from mars and women from venus.:laugh: Guys that don't know, simply ask as if they were asking a buddy, not to get personal but just being curious,
  • Figuringoutme
    Figuringoutme Posts: 330
    a lot of people ask me how much I've lost. I find it odd but not really rude, more curious. You can always say "I'd rather not share that"
  • metisgirl
    metisgirl Posts: 86 Member
    For myself it is a compliment. It is nice when people notice that you have lost weight or that you are looking good.....It's definitely a positive....To lose weight and have no one praise you with a positive comment would be very depressing and would be more damaging and would probably cause someone to go off of their diet plan.....
  • moniquelessard
    moniquelessard Posts: 418
    You can answer "it's a secret" and then smile. My dad asked me how much weight I've lost and I said "it's a secret". You see my dad is THE WORST gossip in the world - he would have told EVERYONE. I don't want to jinx it too much, so until I've met my goal, I only tell a select few how much I've lost. :)
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    silly humans
  • realme56
    realme56 Posts: 1,093 Member
    I think it is natural to ask how much a person has lost, human curiosity. I agree with others that your answer to him was very rude. You could have just said "I prefer not to say"
  • moniquelessard
    moniquelessard Posts: 418
    PS. I think it is very rude to ask someone about their weight if you are not INCREDIBLY close to them. I think it's ok to say "hey, you're looking fit!" or "wow, you have a healthy glow lately". Otherwise it becomes to personal.

    I know someone who struggles with bulimia and anorexia and she once told me that it's awful when someone either criticizes or comments or congratulates her on her weight. You never know HOW someone has gone about losing/gaining weight and it is incredibly rude to get too personal about it.

    I say people should ask questions like "wow you're looking healthy, what's your secret?"

    I can almost compare it to asking a woman if she is pregnant. Two rules on that;

    1) If the preg woman aint talking, then don't ask. If she wants you to know, she will say something.
    2) If you don't see a head crowning, DON'T ASK.

    ;)
  • neanderthin
    neanderthin Posts: 10,268 Member
    I think it is natural to ask how much a person has lost, human curiosity. I agree with others that your answer to him was very rude. You could have just said "I prefer not to say"
    And a solid reason why men should just never even consider asking or alluding to, or complimenting.......there's just too much room for the wrong interpretation of any concievable answer, basically no upside.
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
    Here are some nice ways to respond to such questions:

    "Why do you ask?" (answering the question with another question)
    "I've lost enough that I feel better." (giving a vague answer)
    "I've lost nunya." "What's nunya?" "Nun ya business." (Slightly rude, but confident and unapologetic.)
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    Okay, just wondering your thoughts on a male acquaintance (delivery person) asking a female how much weight she has lost. I was asked this yesterday by a male delivery person and it ticked me off. Maybe because I had already heard he had asked my sister and others the same question about me.
    I was prepared I guess... He started by saying I looked great, but then went right into "How much weight have you lost?" I replied, how much does your wife weigh?.. He was a little startled, so I asked him again. He was a little flustered by my question.
    I must say this is a guy that is more of a busy body than a woman is. I feel it is none of his business.
    So, back to the question....Is it rude?

    No offense, you came off as really snarky. The guy was paying you a compliment imo. I get asked all the time how much weight have I lost. If you'd treat me like that I'd chalk you up to being rude and not even worry about trying to be nice to you anymore. I got kinda upset on how you treated him.
  • moniquelessard
    moniquelessard Posts: 418
    I think it is natural to ask how much a person has lost, human curiosity. I agree with others that your answer to him was very rude. You could have just said "I prefer not to say"
    And a solid reason why men should just never even consider asking or alluding to, or complimenting.......there's just too much room for the wrong interpretation of any concievable answer, basically no upside.

    I disagree. My boyfriend never talks about my weight. He tells me I'm beautiful. It's prefect ;)
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    I think it's rude. I get asked it a lot. People are weird, though. My sister gets asked how long her hair is all the time, and are genuinely shocked when she replies she's never measured it, and you can SEE how long it is.
  • moniquelessard
    moniquelessard Posts: 418
    Okay, just wondering your thoughts on a male acquaintance (delivery person) asking a female how much weight she has lost. I was asked this yesterday by a male delivery person and it ticked me off. Maybe because I had already heard he had asked my sister and others the same question about me.
    I was prepared I guess... He started by saying I looked great, but then went right into "How much weight have you lost?" I replied, how much does your wife weigh?.. He was a little startled, so I asked him again. He was a little flustered by my question.
    I must say this is a guy that is more of a busy body than a woman is. I feel it is none of his business.
    So, back to the question....Is it rude?

    No offense, you came off as really snarky. The guy was paying you a compliment imo. I get asked all the time how much weight have I lost. If you'd treat me like that I'd chalk you up to being rude and not even worry about trying to be nice to you anymore. I got kinda upset on how you treated him.

    Agreed ^^ He shouldn't have asked, but then you ATTACKED. You made a mistake, and now you're getting all kinds of ideas for how to handle it better next time. No biggie. He isn't you boss but you could apologize. Someone once told me that when you realize you've made a mistake, go about fixing it immediately. Best advice ever. Next time you see him you could say "sorry I snapped at you the last time I say you, I was stressed and I took it out on you. Are we cool?"

    :)
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    PS. I think it is very rude to ask someone about their weight if you are not INCREDIBLY close to them. I think it's ok to say "hey, you're looking fit!" or "wow, you have a healthy glow lately". Otherwise it becomes to personal.

    I know someone who struggles with bulimia and anorexia and she once told me that it's awful when someone either criticizes or comments or congratulates her on her weight. You never know HOW someone has gone about losing/gaining weight and it is incredibly rude to get too personal about it.

    I say people should ask questions like "wow you're looking healthy, what's your secret?"

    I can almost compare it to asking a woman if she is pregnant. Two rules on that;

    1) If the preg woman aint talking, then don't ask. If she wants you to know, she will say something.
    2) If you don't see a head crowning, DON'T ASK.

    ;)

    I totally agree with this. I also don't know why when someone is pregnant it is suddenly perfectly acceptable to tell them they are fat.

    Commenting on anyone's weight, ever, pregnant, fat, thin, whatever, is just plain rude.
  • medoria
    medoria Posts: 673 Member
    Feels like you interpret him in totatlly the wrong way, you have no ideas what his intentions where and why he asked you in the first place. Dont jump into conclusions, first ask him why he wants to know, dont attack him with the same kind of stupid question, just makes you just as bad as him.
  • seanlilly
    seanlilly Posts: 10 Member
    Are u sure it wasn't a cultural thing..you wouldn't believe my family..or when we travel internationally what we get asked...I wont comment if your reply was rude cause..It none of my business
  • mariabee
    mariabee Posts: 212 Member
    I'm kind of wondering why it was important for us to know that he was delivery person. If it was a female delivery person asking you instead of a male, would it be any different?

    To answer your question though, no I don't think it was rude. People make comments about my weight loss all the time and then I hear about it after.. and it is what it is. People will always talk and be nosy.. it's human nature :)

    This ^^^^^

    why does it bother you so much? In life, don't we have much bigger fish to fry?
  • gersoco
    gersoco Posts: 155 Member
    You are totally in the right to give him the rude show.

    I think it's VERY creepy that he's asking your friends/acquaintances/family how much weight you've lost.
  • bjfmade
    bjfmade Posts: 543 Member
    You are totally in the right to give him the rude show.

    I think it's VERY creepy that he's asking your friends/acquaintances/family how much weight you've lost.

    Thanks
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,359 Member
    Occasionally I have told a person, "You don't know me well enough to ask that question."
    I'm pretty good a drawing boundaries for those who can't or maybe just haven't thought about it.
  • moniquelessard
    moniquelessard Posts: 418
    You are totally in the right to give him the rude show.

    I think it's VERY creepy that he's asking your friends/acquaintances/family how much weight you've lost.

    Thanks

    I still disagree with this. But, I guess maybe you were looking for someone to agree with you on how you responded. The honest truth though, given by most people who replied, is that the WAY in which you responded wasn't exactly appropriate. Even though he shouldn't have asked in the first place, two wrongs NEVER make a right. ;)
  • premiumchilenita
    premiumchilenita Posts: 600 Member
    It sounds like he went through all the trouble to ask everyone around you to get the guts to ask you. He might actually like you and thinks you look great :) I would totally think this as a compliment.

    And if he does have a wife then he might be very aware that women like to be noticed for their hard work. You have worked hard to get to where you are and you do look great, and he might just be admiring that. If he came out sounding rude, remember he's a man and not very articulate (no offense to men) *happy face*:flowerforyou:
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
    I don't have a problem with anyone asking how much I've lost. I love telling them! So for me, no big deal. Had he asked your current (or previous) weight, yeah, that would've been rude. I think he probably was just curious. Cut him a little slack. ;-)

    Anyway, congrats on your success so far! I plan to lose as much as you have ASAP.:happy:
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    For those who has issues with people knowing how much you have lost, then why do you have a ticker in your signature?

    Different environment.

    Of course!
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    It sounds like he was impressed. I don't know if it was necessary to respond the way you did.
  • geckofli
    geckofli Posts: 155 Member
    I tink it depends on the person & their motivation.
    I've just starte getting people doing the old double take of me grunting & saying. 'you lost weight' to which I reply not I've just got rid of it.
    Just so we're clear most people the how much have you lost question wouldn't bother me, people like to quantify, but there are a few people (a minority of people) that I would be upset by them asking, mostly because it's not what they say to me, it's how they say it & the innuendo they put with it, there are a variety o responses I have to multiple people ramging from an excited 39mim chat about the whats and hows of the process, right through to the icy death stare followed with a sharp eff of eff stain.

    Regardless what anyone thinks, they are your feelings & you're entitled to them. If the guy creeps you out, he creeps you out.
    Nobody feels your feelings like you do
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    I think your reply was rude. It would have been a much better course of action to find out WHY he was asking.
    What if he has been trying to lose weight and hit a roadblock and noticed you had been losing weight and wanted to know if you had any insight... now instead of sharing your weight loss tips you hurt his feelings and then he went home and ate a whole pizza and cried big salty tears into his 12 pack of PBR.

    I'm glad you feel better about yourself now. Have a flower. :flowerforyou:
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