Co-Sleeping with kids

RyanDanielle5101

I have never co-slept with my kids (they have when they are sick or have had a bad dream). I personally do not think it is a good idea (just my opinion, I'm not trying to bash anyone at all) but I guess my one question to those who have done or do this is: When do you and your husband or significant have grown up time? I can't imagine what it can do to a couple’s sex life to have a child or children in your bed every night.

LauraLouFace

Who says "grown up time" needs to be limited to bed? :P You get creative and use other places in the house

UponThisRock

lol @ married people having a sex life

livnlite

I have never co-slept with my kids (they have when they are sick or have had a bad dream). I personally do not think it is a good idea (just my opinion, I'm not trying to bash anyone at all) but I guess my one question to those who have done or do this is: When do you and your husband or significant have grown up time? I can't imagine what it can do to a couple’s sex life to have a child or children in your bed every night.

I agree. I did the same thing with my kids when they were younger..If they had a bad dream, or were sick, they would crawl in to cuddle. I loved that...both my hubby and I did ... But, I didn't encourage it to be a nightly event. We wanted our kids to grow up to be self confident and independent.

Coddling can be very destructive if taken too far. IMHO

cabaray

The spare bedroom. It worked well for us. I enjoyed being close to the kids and he grew up sharing beds in Mexico, so it wasn't a big deal for him. Our kids have grown up fine so far...confident and independent...and have a really close bond with us.

JulieBoBoo

We did it in the bed in the kid's room which then was the guest room. That's where he slept while the girls and I slept in the master bedroom because he couldn't sleep with all their wiggling. We don't do it any more often now than we did then (the girls are now in their own room and hubby and I are back to sharing bed since my youngest turned 3 four and a half years ago).

KristiBenvenuto

Well its weird. I co-slept with my kids not because I couldn't part with them or felt it was necessary. I did it out of pure LAZINESS!! LOL!!
My husband is also a firefighter so he works 24 hr shifts and its nice having someone in bed with you.
But as SOON as they started moving around and kicking smacking me in their sleep they went in their cribs for good.

But to answer your question.....You get creative! The bedroom is not the ONLY place in your house you can have sex! And I also feel when they are that little putting them in a bassinet or playpen/crib while you do your thing isn't so bad either!

JulieBoBoo

Coddling can be very destructive if taken too far. IMHO

Well there's coddling... and then there convenience. I was breastfeeding and really didn't feel like having to get up, go to another room, get her out of the crib, try to stay awake long enough to get her back to sleep and into her own crib and then drag my sorry self back to bed. Being able to just roll over and whip it out meant way more sleep for me = a much happier mommy.

cabaray

@JulieBo
That's how it worked with us a well. Although, I do have trouble sleeping with him as he tosses and turns all night long!

Meghan0116

I have coslept with my son almost from the moment he was born in January 2009. It made nursing easier and later he had breathing issues and needed treatments during the night, so I continued cosleeping. He has his own double bed but most nights he is still in mine. When his father and I were still together we would just put him in his cradle. Since I am now single, I don't have to worry about a sex life. lol and haha

I have loved cosleeping with my little man. I wouldn't have changed a thing.

stormieweather

Oh, you get creative! You'd be surprised at how inventive you can get....

Shower, guest room, garage, hall closet, floor....:devil:

Manda_H

can move them to the floor for that time period or now we have a mattress next to our bed and he sleeps over there mostly... I have never had issues with cosleeping and still having relations with my husband. Having the energy is far more of an issue than cosleeping lol

momma3sweetgirls

I have never co-slept with my kids (they have when they are sick or have had a bad dream). I personally do not think it is a good idea (just my opinion, I'm not trying to bash anyone at all) but I guess my one question to those who have done or do this is: When do you and your husband or significant have grown up time? I can't imagine what it can do to a couple’s sex life to have a child or children in your bed every night.

If you don't co-sleep and you're not planning on it, why do you care how and where other people do it? You're really opening a can of worms here.

Jill_newimprovedversion

I was one of those moms who made this VERY DUMB mistake the first time around-
Our first was colicky- and out of desperation to get *SOME* sleep, I brought her to bed w/ me
(my hubby worked out of town for several weeks @ a time, so it didn't "interfere" )

However, it took me 3 YEARS to "wean" her OUT of the bed, by having her sleep on the floor NEXT to me, then in OUR doorway, then to HER doorway, then eventually into her OWN bed....


Yeah...like I said, it wasn't the *smartest* thing I ever did- starting that, but I was DESPERATE to get some sleep....
and she fought sleep ALL her life.....until she hit the teen years.........

On a side note:
I do know that some mothers *confessed* that it was great birth control-haha

GretchenReine

Co-sleeping with kids? Never happened in my house. I have fallen asleep while snuggling my children...but that's about it. I don't even like sharing my bed with hubby! He steals the blankets! LOL

rodegghero

Co-sleeping just means kids sleep in the same room,bed sharing is the same bed.
We bedshare and will until she is ready or we are not all sleeping well.
You create independence by allowing your child to make choices, not by making them do things alone
bed sharing and cosleeping contribute greatly to the breastfeeding relationship.
I think we need to teach about safety rather than the current trend of saying it is wrong. There are safe ways.
And in answer to your question....cosleepers do it in the kitchen

RyanDanielle5101

I have never co-slept with my kids (they have when they are sick or have had a bad dream). I personally do not think it is a good idea (just my opinion, I'm not trying to bash anyone at all) but I guess my one question to those who have done or do this is: When do you and your husband or significant have grown up time? I can't imagine what it can do to a couple’s sex life to have a child or children in your bed every night.

If you don't co-sleep and you're not planning on it, why do you care how and where other people do it? You're really opening a can of worms here.

I am purely curious as to how two married people have fun when a child is sleeping with them.

fteale

I have co-slept with both of mine. I was recommended it in hospital when I had my first as I had had a caesarean and couldn't lift him for a few days, so the midwife put him in bed next to me to feed and we slept like that, with the side of the bed up, obviously! It's a different kind of sleep when you have a baby in with you. I always slept with my arm over them, holding the duvet away, so there was never any risk of going under it, and I was always aware of where they were, for a start they both fed most of the night anyway. I was aware of every noise. It's still sleep, but of a different kind. My husband didn't get that at all and hated it! He slept in a different room for the first year after each was born. He took my oldest off to sleep with him from 6 months so I could get some rest, but our younger one slept in with me until he was 18 months.

We didn't get any couple time tbh, but when I have small babies, I don't really think about much else anyway. Both of mine were exclusively breast fed, so I was feeding every hour or 2 of the first year anyway. Life just becomes all about the baby, and that's the way I like to parent. We have had years of couple time (we have known each other for 21 years), and will have many years more. Babies are only babies for a very short time.

lovekck

We used an Arm's Reach co-sleeper for our baby's first year and it made my life so much easier! AAP recommends breastfeeding to two years old and with a baby waking up every 3 hours to nurse, having a co-sleeper attached to the side of the bed was AMAZING. We both got sleep and baby got the benefits associated with nursing. If I had to get out of bed and get baby out of a crib every time she woke up to nurse it would have never worked.

My co-sleeper was a life saver, no stressing about her not breathing or worrying if she woke up in the middle of the night. If she lost her paci all I had to do is reach over and give it back to her. Our co-sleeper made having a newborn soooooooooooo much easier and I recommend them to everyone!

At a year old we switched her to her crib with no problems (She already napped in her crib during the day)

And sex? Psssh...Whats that? LOL! And sex in the bed is boring to me anyway but if we wanted to do it, it wouldn't have woken her because the cosleeper was attached to my side of the bed. So she wasn't actually IN the bed. KWIM?

fteale

Oh, and sex is the very last thing on my mind while I am breastfeeding, which was 15 months with no 1 and 3 years with no 2.

0PhAtDaDdY

I have never co-slept with my kids (they have when they are sick or have had a bad dream). I personally do not think it is a good idea (just my opinion, I'm not trying to bash anyone at all) but I guess my one question to those who have done or do this is: When do you and your husband or significant have grown up time? I can't imagine what it can do to a couple’s sex life to have a child or children in your bed every night.

After Kids there is no sex life... hahaha

iKapuniai

The spare bedroom. It worked well for us. I enjoyed being close to the kids and he grew up sharing beds in Mexico, so it wasn't a big deal for him. Our kids have grown up fine so far...confident and independent...and have a really close bond with us.

This was my and my mans situation as well, he's also from Mexico. Not only that, but I have major paranoia when it comes to leaving my son in an entirely different room all alone at night. I've heard way too many horror stories, and you never know what kind of crazy *kitten* people you got around you. Anyways, soon we plan on getting my son his own bed, but putting it right next to ours. I don't see any issues with it, aside from the fact that there might a an 8 or 9 year old in our bed later down the road LOL but that doesn't bother either one of us. Our son is only 3 years old, but so far he's showing us confidence and independence as well.

As for the sex part, we wait till the kid falls asleep then slip out and use the second room sometimes, other times we'll lay out blankets on the living room floor and do our thing there. And I don't agree with whoever it was that says married people don't have a sex life... my man and I do it 3+ times a week, sometimes as much as twice a day, and we've been together for 7 years so far. To a woman, a healthy relationship means honesty and communication. To a man, it means sex on the regular. lmao

Love and Alohas,
Ihilani Kapuniai

lcchrt

We have grown up time all the time! We have co slept from the beginning. Kids who co sleep generally sleep really well. My little one falls asleep almost immediately at about 10p and sleep til around 10a no matter what is going on!!
a. You can turn lights off.
b. It introduces adventure (aka finding other places than your bed)
c. co sleeping is NOT coddling by any means. It makes your child more confident, they sleep more peacefully, YOU as a parent sleep better, easier to nurse, decreases risk of SIDS, helps with family closeness and self esteem, and SO many more benefits. When you a coddle a child it is to their detriment. Trust me it is WAY different.
d. I babywear and co sleep. 'mainstream' parents say that this makes you child want to be held all the time and not want to entertain themselves but this is not the case. My child actually tends to be more independent than other babies who do not co sleep or are worn. I have a 10 week old and a friend of mine has a 13 week old. Between the two of them my lo is perfectly content with being away from me. My friends son has to be attached to his mother at all times or he cries like crazy. This is the only example so its not just different kids having different behavior issues. Do some research and you'll see info that backs up what i'm saying!

RyanDanielle5101

Thanks for all the comments, seems the kitchen is the favorite. I've always just wondered, I've read about it before and thought how a relationship may change with such a big change like a child in the bed. Most of you are all still married so it can't be that bad

rodegghero

Well the relationship change happens anyway with kids
Its all in what works for the family
For us it is the only way to get sleep
i know when shes ready we will have our bed back
Like somone said earlier....they are only little for a short time.
And i appreciate positive curiosity minus judgment

Qcrazy

Ill be the odd one out Co-Sleeping is stupid, and down right laziness. If you know how many baby's die each year from being smothered to death I do not think anyone would do it. They can label it SIDS all day long but a majority of those cases are the mother (you) Smothering the life out of your own child. Yes it is a accident, but it is preventable. I would go as far as saying it is like letting your kid ride around with out a car seat. We would not do that.

My anger on this subject comes from knowing 2 people that "accidently" Killed their baby's and seeing it tear their life apart, both of them. It could happen to anybody. Do you know how you would feel to kill you own child?

fteale

Ill be the odd one out Co-Sleeping is stupid, and down right laziness. If you know how many baby's die each year from being smothered to death I do not think anyone would do it. They can label it SIDS all day long but a majority of those cases are the mother (you) Smothering the life out of your own child. Yes it is a accident, but it is preventable. I would go as far as saying it is like letting your kid ride around with out a car seat. We would not do that.

My anger on this subject comes from knowing 2 people that "accidently" Killed their baby's and seeing it tear their life apart, both of them. It could happen to anybody. Do you know how you would feel to kill you own child?

Fewer babies die from being smothered than die of cot death because they are in a different room to their parents. Far more babies die from falling asleep on sofas with babies due to flame retardants in the fabrics. The number of babies who die in bed with mothers who are non-smokers, don't drink and haven't taken sleeping pills is negligible.

cabaray

Ill be the odd one out Co-Sleeping is stupid, and down right laziness. If you know how many baby's die each year from being smothered to death I do not think anyone would do it. They can label it SIDS all day long but a majority of those cases are the mother (you) Smothering the life out of your own child. Yes it is a accident, but it is preventable. I would go as far as saying it is like letting your kid ride around with out a car seat. We would not do that.

My anger on this subject comes from knowing 2 people that "accidently" Killed their baby's and seeing it tear their life apart, both of them. It could happen to anybody. Do you know how you would feel to kill you own child?

Had either of these people been drinking or taking any sedating medication (even legally prescribed medication)?

BrettPGH

Fewer babies die from being smothered than die of cot death because they are in a different room to their parents. Far more babies die from falling asleep on sofas with babies due to flame retardants in the fabrics. The number of babies who die in bed with mothers who are non-smokers, don't drink and haven't taken sleeping pills is negligible.

Tell the parents who wake up to their dead newborn, entirely due to their own fault, how negligible that one death is.


ALSO this topic was discussed in DEBATABLE DEBATING! The MFP group for people who'd rather argue than work at their jobs...


I love giving out plugs!

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Yeah, I'm not a fan of the family bed, no matter what my dogs think. I do, however, love to go get my son in the morning (on the weekends or days off) and bring him into bed for some family snuggle time. It's something that's special. I want my kids to know that I am always available for them when they need me, but feel secure and independent enough to let me sleep as wildly as I want. I puch, kick, and jump in my sleep so my bed isn't always a safe place for the less robust anyway.

lcchrt

Ill be the odd one out Co-Sleeping is stupid, and down right laziness. If you know how many baby's die each year from being smothered to death I do not think anyone would do it. They can label it SIDS all day long but a majority of those cases are the mother (you) Smothering the life out of your own child. Yes it is a accident, but it is preventable. I would go as far as saying it is like letting your kid ride around with out a car seat. We would not do that.

My anger on this subject comes from knowing 2 people that "accidently" Killed their baby's and seeing it tear their life apart, both of them. It could happen to anybody. Do you know how you would feel to kill you own child?

Fewer babies die from being smothered than die of cot death because they are in a different room to their parents. Far more babies die from falling asleep on sofas with babies due to flame retardants in the fabrics. The number of babies who die in bed with mothers who are non-smokers, don't drink and haven't taken sleeping pills is negligible.

I agree! Look at the statistics before you angrily judge. Actually 'safe co sleeping' is safer than crib sleeping. People need to be educated on safe co sleeping instead of saying that all of it is dangerous. Not having fluffy bedding, not smoking/drinking, etc are all safe. We bed share and absolutely love it. When my lo sleeps with me I am VERY aware of what is going on around me. One little peep or snore and I am instantly awake. If she even kicks her feet I am awake. It is all about the way you allow your children to sleep. Sleeping in a drop side crib or in a crib with a bumper has caused MORE deaths and bumpers are still sold.