Co-Sleeping with kids
Replies
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I have never co-slept with my kids (they have when they are sick or have had a bad dream). I personally do not think it is a good idea (just my opinion, I'm not trying to bash anyone at all) but I guess my one question to those who have done or do this is: When do you and your husband or significant have grown up time? I can't imagine what it can do to a couple’s sex life to have a child or children in your bed every night.
If you don't co-sleep and you're not planning on it, why do you care how and where other people do it? You're really opening a can of worms here.
I am purely curious as to how two married people have fun when a child is sleeping with them.
Married people don't have sex. So for fun, they just move to another room while the kid sleeps and play video games. Then ***** and moan at each other.0 -
As discussed in the Debating Group (hint hint), my issue is with parents who have their children sleep with them to fill a void. For example, a single mom being lonely at night so she has her child sleep in the bed with her. And at what age is it no longer cute, but becomes weird?0
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Fewer babies die from being smothered than die of cot death because they are in a different room to their parents. Far more babies die from falling asleep on sofas with babies due to flame retardants in the fabrics. The number of babies who die in bed with mothers who are non-smokers, don't drink and haven't taken sleeping pills is negligible.
Tell the parents who wake up to their dead newborn, entirely due to their own fault, how negligible that one death is.
ALSO this topic was discussed in DEBATABLE DEBATING! The MFP group for people who'd rather argue than work at their jobs...
I love giving out plugs!
Sorry, but that's rubbish. I know people who's babies have died of cot death because they WEREN'T in their parent's bed. Some babies die. It's harsh, but it's a fact. You can't blame the parents for that one. They'll be blaming themselves.0 -
I love co-sleeping with my babies. I follow the safe co-sleeping guidelines and have between 1 and 3 children in with us every night.. We start with the baby in bed every night and as they get older they move into their own bed in their own room and visit us from time to time.
Our 5.5 yo is pretty much in her own room 99% of the time. Middle child 3.5 yo is moving into his own bed, sleeps in his own bed 7.30pm till early hours and joins us. Baby at 1.5 yo is in bed with us 100% except naps in her own bed.
As for the sex question, surely you don't only have sex in bed at night, plenty of other rooms in a house.
Qcrazy, I am sorry for your friends losses. Sadly every year many babies die and sometimes from preventable accidents both in beds and alone in cots too, nothing in life is 100% risk free, I wish it was.
That is why I feel it is important everyone is given the information about safe co sleeping rules, hopefully that will reduce the number of accidents in parents beds, just like we mothers are given information about the 'back to sleep' campaign and other such safety matters.0 -
Our beds too noisy anyway so we never use it for sex!0
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can move them to the floor for that time period or now we have a mattress next to our bed and he sleeps over there mostly... I have never had issues with cosleeping and still having relations with my husband. Having the energy is far more of an issue than cosleeping lol
am i the only one that finds THIS statement the most disturbing of all?0 -
I'm a single mom(kinda) however I NEVER get lonely enough I want them to sleep with me. My bed is my bed. Their beds are their beds.As discussed in the Debating Group (hint hint), my issue is with parents who have their children sleep with them to fill a void. For example, a single mom being lonely at night so she has her child sleep in the bed with her. And at what age is it no longer cute, but becomes weird?
On the weekends I have them we will have "campouts" where we all sleep on the floor. But quite honestly I try to sneak into my bed still.0 -
My daughter slept with us. I'd nurse her to sleep then we'd *kitten* on the couch in the livingroom.
It's not really rocketscience. You can have "relations" outside of the bedroom.0 -
Sorry, but that's rubbish. I know people who's babies have died of cot death because they WEREN'T in their parent's bed. Some babies die. It's harsh, but it's a fact. You can't blame the parents for that one. They'll be blaming themselves.
It's not rubbish at all. Newborns die from co-sleeping. Period. Not many. But do you want to tell the parents of a dead baby that for comfort?
Yes SIDS is terrible and we're not entirely sure how to prevent it. We DO know how to prevent parents from rolling over onto their babies. Put them in a crib.
Odds are everything will be fine when cosleeping. The odds are also good that you'll win at Russian Roulette. It's the times you don't that REALLY bite you on the *kitten*.
Just because kids can die from numerous different causes is no reason to ignore simple safety precautions that can save their lives.0 -
What about people who sleep with their dogs? Is that even weirder or less weird?0
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Sorry, but that's rubbish. I know people who's babies have died of cot death because they WEREN'T in their parent's bed. Some babies die. It's harsh, but it's a fact. You can't blame the parents for that one. They'll be blaming themselves.
It's not rubbish at all. Newborns die from co-sleeping. Period. Not many. But do you want to tell the parents of a dead baby that for comfort?
Yes SIDS is terrible and we're not entirely sure how to prevent it. We DO know how to prevent parents from rolling over onto their babies. Put them in a crib.
Odds are everything will be fine when cosleeping. The odds are also good that you'll win at Russian Roulette. It's the times you don't that REALLY bite you on the *kitten*.
Just because kids can die from numerous different causes is no reason to ignore simple safety precautions that can save their lives.
And babies die from NOT co-sleeping. Statistically, co-sleeping is safer. And yet you don't hear people telling mother's who's baby has died of cot death in the next room that it's their fault for not co-sleeping. Really, I looked up every statistic going on this before I did it. I took not a single risk, I was utterly neurotic about safety, and it is SAFER to co-sleep.0 -
Sorry, but that's rubbish. I know people who's babies have died of cot death because they WEREN'T in their parent's bed. Some babies die. It's harsh, but it's a fact. You can't blame the parents for that one. They'll be blaming themselves.
It's not rubbish at all. Newborns die from co-sleeping. Period. Not many. But do you want to tell the parents of a dead baby that for comfort?
Yes SIDS is terrible and we're not entirely sure how to prevent it. We DO know how to prevent parents from rolling over onto their babies. Put them in a crib.
Odds are everything will be fine when cosleeping. The odds are also good that you'll win at Russian Roulette. It's the times you don't that REALLY bite you on the *kitten*.
Just because kids can die from numerous different causes is no reason to ignore simple safety precautions that can save their lives.
Look up the stats on babies who die IN cribs. Actually there was a study that was published in 05 and then again this year that babies who die from sids usually have a reduced amount of serotonin in their brain which allows them to smother to death laying on their back in a crib. It just happens because it happens.
Also, the US has one of the highest rates of sids in all of the developed countries. In most of these other developed countries co sleeping is a day to day thing.
Also, co sleeping means sharing a room not bed sharing. Look it up =D0 -
Ill be the odd one out Co-Sleeping is stupid, and down right laziness. If you know how many baby's die each year from being smothered to death I do not think anyone would do it. They can label it SIDS all day long but a majority of those cases are the mother (you) Smothering the life out of your own child. Yes it is a accident, but it is preventable. I would go as far as saying it is like letting your kid ride around with out a car seat. We would not do that.
My anger on this subject comes from knowing 2 people that "accidently" Killed their baby's and seeing it tear their life apart, both of them. It could happen to anybody. Do you know how you would feel to kill you own child?
Fewer babies die from being smothered than die of cot death because they are in a different room to their parents. Far more babies die from falling asleep on sofas with babies due to flame retardants in the fabrics. The number of babies who die in bed with mothers who are non-smokers, don't drink and haven't taken sleeping pills is negligible.
I agree! Look at the statistics before you angrily judge. Actually 'safe co sleeping' is safer than crib sleeping. People need to be educated on safe co sleeping instead of saying that all of it is dangerous. Not having fluffy bedding, not smoking/drinking, etc are all safe. We bed share and absolutely love it. When my lo sleeps with me I am VERY aware of what is going on around me. One little peep or snore and I am instantly awake. If she even kicks her feet I am awake. It is all about the way you allow your children to sleep. Sleeping in a drop side crib or in a crib with a bumper has caused MORE deaths and bumpers are still sold.
Both are actually safe. You just have to know how to keep them safe. It is a fact that kids do die while co-sleeping because they are smothered, and it is a fact that they do die in a crib (same thing, just smothered by objects). It is suggested that kids don't sleep with blankets or just one small blanket and no toys or stuffies or anything. Often parents double sleeper their kids before bed and don't use blankets.
Telling someone that crib sleeping is unsafe, is wrong (just like vice versa is wrong). Don't fill the bed with blankets and stuff, and you are fine.
I personally won't ever sleep with my kids. But just because I choose to let my kids sleep on their own, doesn't mean I'm going to be a bad mom. I just want my own room. I want a retreat and a place to be with my significant other, not a place where kids are.0 -
Hooray for coddling!
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Sorry, but that's rubbish. I know people who's babies have died of cot death because they WEREN'T in their parent's bed. Some babies die. It's harsh, but it's a fact. You can't blame the parents for that one. They'll be blaming themselves.
It's not rubbish at all. Newborns die from co-sleeping. Period. Not many. But do you want to tell the parents of a dead baby that for comfort?
Yes SIDS is terrible and we're not entirely sure how to prevent it. We DO know how to prevent parents from rolling over onto their babies. Put them in a crib.
Odds are everything will be fine when cosleeping. The odds are also good that you'll win at Russian Roulette. It's the times you don't that REALLY bite you on the *kitten*.
Just because kids can die from numerous different causes is no reason to ignore simple safety precautions that can save their lives.
Last time I checked my daughter's not dead. In fact she is incredibly secure and knows all the way down in her DNA that her dad and I are there for her no matter what. I don't believe babies can fend for themselves. I think they need nurturing and security.
Question: do you fall out of bed? No? Yeah, you probably are aware of where the edge is, even in your sleep. Similarly, you sure as hell won't roll over and smother your own CHILD.
Humans existed for a really really really really really long time before the Childrens Furniture Industry and the "I need my ME time" mentality took over.
And for the laziness comment - DAMN STRAIGHT! While countless other new moms were dying from sleep deprivation, I just pulled up my shirt, latched the baby on and went right back to sleep without fear of dropping her. I was rested and refreshed and had plenty of energy for outings and adventures and enrichment time. Yay!
ETA - my daughter went into her own princess bed at 2 when we let her pick it out herself and made a big deal of it. no fuss, no bother.0 -
What about people who sleep with their dogs? Is that even weirder or less weird?
I'll just have to assume you're replying to me even though you didn't quote me. I didn't say co-sleeping was weird. I asked at what age is it no longer cute, but becomes weird? To compare the parent/child relationship to owner/dog in this discussion is nonsensical to me.0 -
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My friend has just now gotten her little girl to sleep in her own room............................................she is F-ing 7 years old now. She is a single mom and I guess she didn't think it was a big deal. I thought it was over the top though.0
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Ill be the odd one out Co-Sleeping is stupid, and down right laziness. If you know how many baby's die each year from being smothered to death I do not think anyone would do it. They can label it SIDS all day long but a majority of those cases are the mother (you) Smothering the life out of your own child. Yes it is a accident, but it is preventable. I would go as far as saying it is like letting your kid ride around with out a car seat. We would not do that.
My anger on this subject comes from knowing 2 people that "accidently" Killed their baby's and seeing it tear their life apart, both of them. It could happen to anybody. Do you know how you would feel to kill you own child?
Fewer babies die from being smothered than die of cot death because they are in a different room to their parents. Far more babies die from falling asleep on sofas with babies due to flame retardants in the fabrics. The number of babies who die in bed with mothers who are non-smokers, don't drink and haven't taken sleeping pills is negligible.
I agree! Look at the statistics before you angrily judge. Actually 'safe co sleeping' is safer than crib sleeping. People need to be educated on safe co sleeping instead of saying that all of it is dangerous. Not having fluffy bedding, not smoking/drinking, etc are all safe. We bed share and absolutely love it. When my lo sleeps with me I am VERY aware of what is going on around me. One little peep or snore and I am instantly awake. If she even kicks her feet I am awake. It is all about the way you allow your children to sleep. Sleeping in a drop side crib or in a crib with a bumper has caused MORE deaths and bumpers are still sold.
Both are actually safe. You just have to know how to keep them safe. It is a fact that kids do die while co-sleeping because they are smothered, and it is a fact that they do die in a crib (same thing, just smothered by objects). It is suggested that kids don't sleep with blankets or just one small blanket and no toys or stuffies or anything. Often parents double sleeper their kids before bed and don't use blankets.
Telling someone that crib sleeping is unsafe, is wrong (just like vice versa is wrong). Don't fill the bed with blankets and stuff, and you are fine.
I personally won't ever sleep with my kids. But just because I choose to let my kids sleep on their own, doesn't mean I'm going to be a bad mom. I just want my own room. I want a retreat and a place to be with my significant other, not a place where kids are.
I completely agree with (most) of this lol. I dont think its wrong to put your babies in a crib to sleep. Actually thats how my lo takes her naps during the day. One thing I'd like to put here though is that sids can happen anytime to just about anyone. It isn't always because something smothered the baby. Sometimes babies just stop breathing.0 -
I have never co-slept with my kids (they have when they are sick or have had a bad dream). I personally do not think it is a good idea (just my opinion, I'm not trying to bash anyone at all) but I guess my one question to those who have done or do this is: When do you and your husband or significant have grown up time? I can't imagine what it can do to a couple’s sex life to have a child or children in your bed every night.
If you don't co-sleep and you're not planning on it, why do you care how and where other people do it? You're really opening a can of worms here.
I am purely curious as to how two married people have fun when a child is sleeping with them.
Just out of curiousity, are you trying to get someone to say that they have banged with the kids right there in the bed?0 -
And babies die from NOT co-sleeping. Statistically, co-sleeping is safer. And yet you don't hear people telling mother's who's baby has died of cot death in the next room that it's their fault for not co-sleeping. Really, I looked up every statistic going on this before I did it. I took not a single risk, I was utterly neurotic about safety, and it is SAFER to co-sleep
That's not how things work. You can't point to children dieing from causes other than cosleeping and use that to determine cosleeping is safe. People die from being trapped in a fire. It doesn't mean smoking cigarettes is ok.
Statistically co-sleeping is safer in the same way air travel is safer than driving. You drive much more often. More babies sleep in a crib than co-sleep. You can't compare the two across the board.
Anyone can simply google "co-sleeping death" and see the horror for themselves. Imagine waking up to such a nightmare. And you can't ever take it back.0 -
how do you know when to stop? when do you kick that kid out of your bed? the people I know who've co-slept with their kids have issues getting their older kids to stay in their own bed! my nephew has a tendency to sleep on the floor next to his parent's bed now, and he's 8!!
Yeah, I know a couple whose kids are 8 (daughter) and 10 (son) and the father still sleeps in with the son and the daughter sleeps in with the mom.0 -
Sorry, but that's rubbish. I know people who's babies have died of cot death because they WEREN'T in their parent's bed. Some babies die. It's harsh, but it's a fact. You can't blame the parents for that one. They'll be blaming themselves.
It's not rubbish at all. Newborns die from co-sleeping. Period. Not many. But do you want to tell the parents of a dead baby that for comfort?
Yes SIDS is terrible and we're not entirely sure how to prevent it. We DO know how to prevent parents from rolling over onto their babies. Put them in a crib.
Odds are everything will be fine when cosleeping. The odds are also good that you'll win at Russian Roulette. It's the times you don't that REALLY bite you on the *kitten*.
Just because kids can die from numerous different causes is no reason to ignore simple safety precautions that can save their lives.
Last time I checked my daughter's not dead. In fact she is incredibly secure and knows all the way down in her DNA that her dad and I are there for her no matter what. I don't believe babies can fend for themselves. I think they need nurturing and security.
Question: do you fall out of bed? No? Yeah, you probably are aware of where the edge is, even in your sleep. Similarly, you sure as hell won't roll over and smother your own CHILD.
Humans existed for a really really really really really long time before the Childrens Furniture Industry and the "I need my ME time" mentality took over.
You are right that babies don't fend for themselves --- but they don't need to sleep with a parent. Hundreds of thousands of kids sleep in a crib and are fine. Babies can sooth themselves, if they are taken care of -- changed, fed, kept clean --- then its no issue having them sleep in their own room. Its not at all neglectful or being a bad parent.
Personally I think, do what you want. I will admit (I work with kids) and I cannot stand when they are co-sleepers. Its annoying for me, and the kids are completely unable to sooth themselves (even at 2-5years old). And yeah, thats not 100% of the time, but usually these kids have a very hard time soothing themselves.0 -
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I have never co-slept with my kids (they have when they are sick or have had a bad dream). I personally do not think it is a good idea (just my opinion, I'm not trying to bash anyone at all) but I guess my one question to those who have done or do this is: When do you and your husband or significant have grown up time? I can't imagine what it can do to a couple’s sex life to have a child or children in your bed every night.
If you don't co-sleep and you're not planning on it, why do you care how and where other people do it? You're really opening a can of worms here.
I am purely curious as to how two married people have fun when a child is sleeping with them.
Just out of curiousity, are you trying to get someone to say that they have banged with the kids right there in the bed?
You just reminded me of a light hearted comedy I saw a while back (can't remember what its called) but the parents were doing it in the morning with their kid passed out in bed with them. I just remember thinking WTF.........who does that? I don't care if they are 6 months old that's weird and gross.0 -
Coddling can be very destructive if taken too far. IMHO
really? how so? are you talking about how some parents can be too overprotective to their children? just curious.
as far as the sex-life thing... just get creative! sex has definitely had to change venues and times in our house with so many kids. bed is mainly used for much needed SLEEP at this point!0 -
Is someone really suggesting that parents have sex somewhere else around the house because a child is in their bed? Um, hello.....put the child someone else in the house and use the privacy of your bedroom for that. I suppose some think that sneaking off to the garage for sex when their kid is asleep in the family bed is fun and exciting, but that just sounds backasswards to me.0
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I posted a lot on this topic and just want to clarify:
I am pro co sleeping.
I am pro crib sleeping.
It honestly depends on so many factors there is no way of saying one is better than the other. If the parents are heavy sleepers, bed sharing isnt going to work for them. If the parents aren't comfortable with a kid in another room, crib sleeping wont work for them. If parents want privacy co sleeping wont work for them!
Never meant to step on anyones toes but I think this debate is silly!!0 -
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