Handling someone UBER religious
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Maybe say to her, "I appreciate what you're saying, but I do not have the same beliefs as you. If YOU want to pray for me, that's up to you. As for myself, I will not be. Sorry."
Still, a very touchy situation. I think the best is being as upfront, and polite about it as you can. Without giving details. You may be surprised, and she may not get upset about it or think/act differently to you. I would still document things though, just in case she starts making inappropriate comments to you in the future.
Good luck whatever you decide to do!0 -
Why does it bother you so much? Would you be offended if a coworker or boss joked about how high they got last weekend?Are you willing to report anyone who says things that annoy you?
It's one thing if he's ordering you to do it, but it's another thing if he's just suggesting it.
My bet is you have a problem with religion, not the words being said. Maybe you should relax a bit.
Comments like this piss me off just as much as the previous poster who commented that "good luck- religious people don't understand or respect the beliefs of non-religious people". You are just proving her point.0 -
Yep. Life is different in the workplace. Best not to discuss certain topics unless you know the other person is comfortable with it.
It's called inappropriate. Talking about getting high while at work, inappropriate. Religion at work, inappropriate. We're talking about a work environment, not a church, not a frat house. They are not friends, they are co-workers, boss and subordinate.Why does it bother you so much? Would you be offended if a coworker or boss joked about how high they got last weekend?Are you willing to report anyone who says things that annoy you?
It's one thing if he's ordering you to do it, but it's another thing if he's just suggesting it.
My bet is you have a problem with religion, not the words being said. Maybe you should relax a bit.
I'm an athiest who has a best friend who's uber religious. We have frank respectful conversations at times, but we know not to push our views on each other. I try and watch any "goddamn"s around her and she doesn't say "god bless" around me. It's called respect. And the right time and place for things.
I'd be very uncomfortable in her situation.0 -
Actually, it is discrimination. Harassment (which is any behavior that makes someone else uncomfortable or unproductive at the workplace) is part of discrimination. She absolutely has a point.
Please explain to me how you view this as discrimination when the boss doesn't know she's an atheist or that she's uncomfortable?
Why not just assume she is? Since he obviously is ignoring her non-verbal cues that she's uncomfortable. It's not like a woman has to say "Pardon me boss but your hand is on my *kitten*" for it to be sexual harrassment.
We all know what is going to happen when she tells her fanatically religious boss that she's a non-believer. Her life certainly isn't going to get any easier afterwards.
Again, no we don't. Those of us that are open minded and respectful Christians really hate the blanket idea that just because someone is religious means they can't understand or respect another POV.0 -
Why not just assume she is? Since he obviously is ignoring her non-verbal cues that she's uncomfortable. It's not like a woman has to say "Pardon me boss but your hand is on my *kitten*" for it to be sexual harrassment.
We all know what is going to happen when she tells her fanatically religious boss that she's a non-believer. Her life certainly isn't going to get any easier afterwards.
Apparently the OP doesn't think her boss knows her feelings, so maybe you're reading more into her non-verbal cues than her boss is. I've granted that it is inappropriate behavior, but she needs to let her boss know. If her life gets harder after that, she has a strong case.
If a woman allows her boss to touch her inappropriately without saying anything, the boss may get the impression she enjoys it. She needs to speak up immediately.0 -
This is what I do. I'd let her know that asking me to pray while at work is making me feel uncomfortable and religion is not something you want to talk about at work. That way you do not even have to bring up your own beliefs.
If she persists from there it is harrasment. However at this point if she is unaware of he fact you dont like it. It's unfair to call it such.0 -
We all know what is going to happen when she tells her fanatically religious boss that she's a non-believer. Her life certainly isn't going to get any easier afterwards.
When I was in 'corporate America' and had employees working for me, they would tell me their religious beliefs, and I made sure that not only did I respect them, but that the entire team did as well.0 -
Why does it bother you so much? Would you be offended if a coworker or boss joked about how high they got last weekend?Are you willing to report anyone who says things that annoy you?
It's one thing if he's ordering you to do it, but it's another thing if he's just suggesting it.
My bet is you have a problem with religion, not the words being said. Maybe you should relax a bit.
Why should she put up with it if it makes her uncomfortable? Would you also suggest she ignore racial slurs?
Laws exist to protect all employees. Her manager is putting the company at risk by her behavior.
Why would someone suggesting a person to pray about an issue make them so uncomfortable? As I said in my post, its a suggestion, not a command from her boss. All of us hear things at work that we don't agree with, but we move a long because we cannot insulate ourselves from being "offended" at ever turn. I find that most people who are "offended" by religion would not go to HR in the scenario I talked about in my last post.
People have become way too sensitive, and now we live in a society where the diversity of thought is smothered by the PC police.
Like I said, I think the problem the op has is with religion, not with what her boss is saying. That is her issue, not her boss'.0 -
There are a couple ways to deal with this:
1) Realize that when your boss is telling you to "pray about issues," she's really just asking you to think about things. I have realized (I'm agnostic) that sometimes what Christians call "praying," we call thinking our way through an issue.
2) Politely mention to your boss that you do not share her religious views (no need to point out specifically what yours are...) and would appreicate it if she did not bring up the topic. Tell her that it makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe she does not realize how her comments are affecting you.
Good luck!!
Sorry I don't agree.....what Christians call "praying" we call thinking our way through an issue.....For me as a christian, praying is just that praying....and waiting on direction and answer from God, not relying on me to think my way through a situation..0 -
Why does it bother you so much? Would you be offended if a coworker or boss joked about how high they got last weekend?Are you willing to report anyone who says things that annoy you?
It's one thing if he's ordering you to do it, but it's another thing if he's just suggesting it.
My bet is you have a problem with religion, not the words being said. Maybe you should relax a bit.
It bothers me because every time there is conflict, I have to hear about God and prayer and faith etc. etc. I would like, for once, to be able to have an adult conversation with my manager and not have religion brought up. I guess it bothers me so much because she is "above me" and I am bound my fear of repercussions. If I knew that I could say something and our "work relationship" would not change, I would not be so bothered by it.
I also believe there is a time and a place for discussions relating to religion and also politics. The workplace is not one those.
So your boss annoys you is basically what you're talking about. Welcome to the real world, we have all had those kinds of bosses before. Would you complain if she used annoying sports analogies in every conversation? I'm guessing not, but because this is religion, you can make noise.
Can you now answer the other questions in my post?0 -
Purposely see her outside of work. Make sure you are wearing red conctacts, black lip stick, nail polish and clothing and a pentagram necklace. When you see her lean in close to her ear and whisper "Hail Satan".
^^^ THIS is why I FR'd you!
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Some people just aren't happy unless they can force their beliefs on you. There's a very funny quote about that.. but for the thread's sake I won't post it.0
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Some people just aren't happy unless they can force their beliefs on you. There's a very funny quote about that.. but for the thread's sake I won't post it.
No Christian should force their beliefs on anyone! No boss should try to force their beliefs on their employees; that is wrong. It would be the same as an atheist boss always making references to atheism in the work place, or a racist making racial slurs at work. Speak up and let it be known what offends you. I'd rather stand on my convictions and risk being harrassed than keep my mouth shut and deal with it. We have laws to protect us from harrassment, and I'm sure there is an HR Dept at her bank.0 -
Why does it bother you so much? Would you be offended if a coworker or boss joked about how high they got last weekend?Are you willing to report anyone who says things that annoy you?
It's one thing if he's ordering you to do it, but it's another thing if he's just suggesting it.
My bet is you have a problem with religion, not the words being said. Maybe you should relax a bit.
Why should she put up with it if it makes her uncomfortable? Would you also suggest she ignore racial slurs?
Laws exist to protect all employees. Her manager is putting the company at risk by her behavior.
Why would someone suggesting a person to pray about an issue make them so uncomfortable? As I said in my post, its a suggestion, not a command from her boss. All of us hear things at work that we don't agree with, but we move a long because we cannot insulate ourselves from being "offended" at ever turn. I find that most people who are "offended" by religion would not go to HR in the scenario I talked about in my last post.
People have become way too sensitive, and now we live in a society where the diversity of thought is smothered by the PC police.
Like I said, I think the problem the op has is with religion, not with what her boss is saying. That is her issue, not her boss'.
Well, when the behaviour is consistent and persistent and has nothing to do with the matter at hand, it can be very uncomfortable. If someone tried handing out pentagrams to you in the workplace, would you not find that off-putting?
I would, in fact, be offended if I had a co-worker or manager that consistently talked about being stoned. It's inappropriate for the workplace.
And I am an un-PC champion, but there are basic etiquette rules of the workplace that need to be followed.0 -
Why does it bother you so much? Would you be offended if a coworker or boss joked about how high they got last weekend?Are you willing to report anyone who says things that annoy you?
It's one thing if he's ordering you to do it, but it's another thing if he's just suggesting it.
My bet is you have a problem with religion, not the words being said. Maybe you should relax a bit.
Why should she put up with it if it makes her uncomfortable? Would you also suggest she ignore racial slurs?
Laws exist to protect all employees. Her manager is putting the company at risk by her behavior.
Why would someone suggesting a person to pray about an issue make them so uncomfortable? As I said in my post, its a suggestion, not a command from her boss. All of us hear things at work that we don't agree with, but we move a long because we cannot insulate ourselves from being "offended" at ever turn. I find that most people who are "offended" by religion would not go to HR in the scenario I talked about in my last post.
People have become way too sensitive, and now we live in a society where the diversity of thought is smothered by the PC police.
Like I said, I think the problem the op has is with religion, not with what her boss is saying. That is her issue, not her boss'.
It IS her boss' issue, because it is illegal and could be putting the boss' job (and the welfare of the company) at risk. It is no different than if the manager was harassing her sexually, racially, or otherwise. It's wrong, illegal, and the behavior itself is inappropriate in the workplace, whether the OP (specifically) finds it unwelcome or not.
Workplace harassment is any unwelcome or unwanted conduct that denigrates or shows hostility or an aversion toward another person on the basis of any characteristic protected by law, which includes an individual's race, color, gender, ethnic or national origin, age, religion, disability, marital status, sexual orientation, gender identity, or other personal characteristic protected by law. A conduct is unwelcome if the employee did not solicit, instigate or provoke it, and the employee regarded the conduct as undesirable or offensive.
It has nothing to do with being PC. It has everything to do with violating protections guaranteed under federal law.0 -
So your boss annoys you is basically what you're talking about. Welcome to the real world, we have all had those kinds of bosses before. Would you complain if she used annoying sports analogies in every conversation? I'm guessing not, but because this is religion, you can make noise.
Speaking about sports is completely different than speaking about politics, religion, sex, or race. There are reasons those issues are not to be discussed in the workplace. I would also find non-stop cursing offensive and would speak up on that, too.0 -
I wouldn't care what a coworker/boss tried to offer me, I wouldn't be offended in the least bit.Why does it bother you so much? Would you be offended if a coworker or boss joked about how high they got last weekend?Are you willing to report anyone who says things that annoy you?
It's one thing if he's ordering you to do it, but it's another thing if he's just suggesting it.
My bet is you have a problem with religion, not the words being said. Maybe you should relax a bit.
Why should she put up with it if it makes her uncomfortable? Would you also suggest she ignore racial slurs?
Laws exist to protect all employees. Her manager is putting the company at risk by her behavior.
Why would someone suggesting a person to pray about an issue make them so uncomfortable? As I said in my post, its a suggestion, not a command from her boss. All of us hear things at work that we don't agree with, but we move a long because we cannot insulate ourselves from being "offended" at ever turn. I find that most people who are "offended" by religion would not go to HR in the scenario I talked about in my last post.
People have become way too sensitive, and now we live in a society where the diversity of thought is smothered by the PC police.
Like I said, I think the problem the op has is with religion, not with what her boss is saying. That is her issue, not her boss'.
Well, when the behaviour is consistent and persistent and has nothing to do with the matter at hand, it can be very uncomfortable. If someone tried handing out pentagrams to you in the workplace, would you not find that off-putting?
I would, in fact, be offended if I had a co-worker or manager that consistently talked about being stoned. It's inappropriate for the workplace.
And I am an un-PC champion, but there are basic etiquette rules of the workplace that need to be followed.
Would you complain if that coworker constantly talked about being high though?
My point is, people will do things that are annoying, people need to learn that life isn't going to be fair or perfect. When someone annoys me at work, I zone out when they talk to me. It's that simple.
this is a classic case of someone not liking religion and using the tools at hand to make sure she doesn't hear about it. Well that's great, can we all talk to HR about the coworker who chews loud or has an annoying laugh?0 -
Purposely see her outside of work. Make sure you are wearing red conctacts, black lip stick, nail polish and clothing and a pentagram necklace. When you see her lean in close to her ear and whisper "Hail Satan".
I'm thinking this might cause her to have a "come to Jesus meeting" right there at work, and increase her prayer for the girl - which is the exact opposite of what she wants. :bigsmile:0 -
I wouldn't care what a coworker/boss tried to offer me, I wouldn't be offended, nor would I really care.
Would you complain if that coworker constantly talked about being high though?
My point is, people will do things that are annoying, people need to learn that life isn't going to be fair or perfect. When someone annoys me at work, I zone out when they talk to me. It's that simple.
What you fail to recognize here is that conversations about "getting high"/chewing too loudly/having an annoying laugh are not considered harassment. Conversations about religion that make others uncomfortable can be considered harassing if the incidents are reported as unwelcome and persist.
These laws exist to ensure that people of all faiths/belief systems can be productive and comfortable in the workplace. The EEOC protects believers and non-believers alike. Loud chewers are not a protected class.0 -
I wouldn't care what a coworker/boss tried to offer me, I wouldn't be offended, nor would I really care.
Would you complain if that coworker constantly talked about being high though?
My point is, people will do things that are annoying, people need to learn that life isn't going to be fair or perfect. When someone annoys me at work, I zone out when they talk to me. It's that simple.
Listen to me. She doesn't want to hear it! Why do you insist that she must? It's not about life being perfect. It's about a girl wanting to go to work and do her job without someone trying to convert her everyday. Why doesn't she have that right?
She can't zone out and ignore her boss. Nor should she have to. He's the one making her uncomfortable. Why should she have to shut up and take it?
I promise you go work for an outspoken Scientologist and you'll be sympathizing with this girl before you can say "Lord Xenu take me away!"0
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