NEW RULES .....for the gym

joceyofdoom · December 2011

NO GUM! Seriously, you're either not working hard enough or are going to choke to death on it. Plus, your nasty, wet cow-chewing-cud noises while you're smacking around with your mouth open are disgusting.

This one I disagree with. I chew gum at the gym all the time. It keeps my mouth from getting dry while I am on the treadmill or elliptical. I do not chew it loudly or blow bubbles or anything, but it really does help and I do try to control it so I don't accidentally inhale it and choke on it. ( I was afraid of that happening at first.)

I like the other rules-

I can't stand it when someone comes up next to you and smells of smoke and/or perfume. It really is bothersome when you are huffing and puffing during a peak in your intervals.

Laugh on

Me too! My gymmates have to either choose between me slobbering and hacking up a lung after a few miles and no water, or me chewing my gum quietly and breathing ok.

Ha, I knew after I typed it I should've edited a little. Not everyone who chews gum smacks and is gross! I should've said for the people who chew gum loudly and grossly, leave the gum at home.

bett_boop · January 2012

If you only need to pee, use the urinal.

If all the urinals are in use, wait 7 seconds.

If you can't wait, lift the f----g seat!

If you're such a germophobe that you can't lift the seat, lean to aim.

If you can't learn to aim, then you should just hold it and wait until a urinal is free.

Yes, touching the "germy" seat is gross, but having to clean your piss off the seat before I do my business is far grosser.

Oh, and flush - I don't care if it's just pee, I don't want your pee splashing on my a-s.

This applies everywhere, not just the gym.

this is so great.

FlyEaglesGuy · January 2012

Ladies stop wearing full on makeup like you are going to party only to walk on the treadmill while holding the handles for 5 minutes. Then walking laps around the gym looking for attention! No Bueo!

KXanthos · June 2012

Hilarious!

KXanthos · June 2012

You Should not be allowed to comment on what people are doing. Granted, if you are experienced and wish to help someone who is new get the hang of things, great, but if you're on the treadmill next to me and make the comment "Only on incline 4?" or "Oh, you'll get better eventually", you have given me the permission to smack yo' face.

I totally agree with this! As you can tell, people watching at the gym is quite entertaining for me as I'm working out. Especially for the 30-60 minutes i'm doing cardio...There are so many characters I see during this time frame. But what I think is comedy is the guys that edge closer and closer to women working out only to look for that window of opportunity to talk to them about their workout as a way to breaking the ice. And think it's funny that I never see them help other guys with their workouts. haha

You, KimoRun, have permission to talk to me anytime at the gym. ;-)

OvOv · June 2012

I figured I'd move this here for my eyeballs:

Here are a few New Rules I've personally come up with from my experiences and observations at the gym. Please note that if any of these rules speak to you personally, now is the time to adhere to these rules. It will make the world a better place.

1. If you’re a man, DO NOT wear tank tops with a plunging neck line down to your belly button that barely covers your nipples, tucked into the elastic band of your muscle pants… and capped off with a nifty fanny pack. Hey buddy, 1986 called…they want their outfit back. Just saying…

2. DO NOT bring a 5 gallon Sparklets bottle to the gym. I mean, I don’t get it. Water is essential but there is no need to walk around with such a huge bottle of water so you can do a curl motion when you drink it to flex your biceps. If your best workout is when you drink… you have to rethink your routine. Just saying…..

3. Do Not… I mean DO NOT bring a mask and snorkel to the gym to be used in a lap pool. I have a feeling that if you’re one that does, you probably have to register for more things than just your car. Just saying…..

4. DO NOT use the public steam room as an opportunity for shaving. Hearing a scraping noise and tapping sound against the wall is freaky. But when the foggy steam disappears only to see that those sounds are you shaving and tapping out your lil hairs from your razor onto the wall is just disgusting. Just saying….

5. If you’re one to bark after every rep of every set while lifting weights please remember to never leave home without your bark collar. “Sit Ooboo sit…good dog *ruff*”. Just saying…

6. If when you are doing bicep curls and your lower back is getting most of the workout from your constant swaying back and forth….. Put the “ego” weights down buddy and try using something not so heavy. Seriously…no one is paying attention to how much you’re lifting. Just saying….

7. Although the gym has an abundance of awesome flat screen TV’s everywhere you go….Its a gym…not the movies. So the seats on the machines are NOT to be used as a place to sit and watch. Put the popcorn down, get your set in and move on. Some of us here are actually trying to sweat. Just saying…

Any new rules you think should be added from your personal experiences or observations?

#6 is so true, and not only for curls, but for a whole range of exercises!

sshook990 · June 2012

*facepalm* shoulda had a V8

ironanimal · June 2012

"Just saying" is fuccing annoying and should never be uttered, anywhere, ever, by anyone, including in the gym. Does that count?

IronPlayground · June 2012

The squat rack is called such because it's a place where squats are done. It's not the "curl rack" or the "leg raises rack" or the "sit on it and run your mouth rack". Do some squats or GTFO!