Binge eating ...... people don't understand.

pekemom

I, too, totally understand. I'm 56 years old now, but when I was 10 years old, I decided to just stop eating. I was very thin as a result, but once I started eating again, the weight returned. My way of coping with weight gain was to purge. So, that went on into my 20's, until I was hospitalized with a torn esophagus. Once I lost my ability to purge, I just started packing on the pounds. Lots of tragedy brought me to bingeing, which has continued to date. I have destroyed my body, inside and out, and have hated myself many, many days because of this disorder. I have prayed on this daily and I consider it a blessing to have found this web site. This past week, my first real effort to lose weight in a long time, has been successful. My frenetic eating is easing up and I believe it is because I am held accountable by logging in every single day to record my calories. I have also joined OA, which is helping me understand that it is not just about the food, but also all of the emotions I have been stuffing for so many years. I love the Serenity Prayer, which does help me cope with the things I can change, the things I can't and the wisdom to know the difference. This is a long, arduous journey, but I believe that as long as you have hope, you will get where you want or need to be. I love that we can all gather in a place where people know exactly how we feel. There is no judgment, just encouragement. Together we can all do this!

jnhu72

I have binge ate as long as I can remember. As a child I did it to cope with sexual abuse and now at 21 I do it to help with the repressed memories that are coming to me. I am trying so hard to deal with the emotions but food as been my "drug" for 17 yrs.
After every incident I ate just to forget but in the end I know that it's no good for me. Good luck to everyone struggling with it.

bett_boop

I once read that one of the things that makes food addiction so difficult to combat is that unlike an addiction to a drug where you can abstain completely, we still need food to survive so it is a bit like telling an alcoholic they have to have two beers a day to survive but absolutely no more than that. pretty hard! Everyone on this post seems to be doing fantastically though.

annie24342

I've got a question! I sometimes really struggle with binge eating. If I have a day where I eat WAY too much...am I supposed to just start fresh the next day? Or would it be helpful to eat less than my amount the next few days to make it up?

CannibalisticVegetarian

I definitely feel ya! I used to be a tride-and-true emotional eater. These days, I abstain from most of those old foods, and allow them into my life every so often.. saaaay.. as a weight loss mini-goal, or if I've had a great burn in the gym and don't think that I'd be damaging myself any.

There are other times when I binge though. When TOM shows up, I turn into Ms. Pacman and eat everything in sight (even with the 'wakka, wakka, wakka,...' sound effects).

sarahp86

*puts hand up*

I used to order pizza, but I'd order a family meal and ice cream on top of that. I always did it in secret because I felt guilty. I had secret stashes of food in my car and my room.

I'd eat for the sake of eating, I wouldn't even be hungry. I remember in one sitting I polished off a multipack of crisps, 5 big bars of chocolate, tub of icecream and then I ordered a takeaway.

It started when I was living with my ex, he was emotionally abusive and controlling. When we split up I realised that in less than 5 years together I had gained nearly 100lbs!!

I lost about 14lbs on my own before mfp but I have learned to love myself and I had to build my confidence back up from nothing. I am now in a loving relationship with a man who loves me regardless of my weight and we are getting healthy together.

I haven't binged in about 3 months and the urge to binge is getting less frequent. I had to accept I had a problem and when I felt a binging episode coming on I would ring one of my friends for a chat or do something else like clean the house, sort clothes or walk the dog.

You will get through it ! We're all here to help too x

sarahp86

Something I learned is that people who are anxious often have two habits: stomach sleeping and overeating. Both stimulate a nerve just over your belly that promotes feelings of calm and safety. I do both. I understand completely. It doesn't matter what it is. You need to have more, more, more and you feel safe as long as you go to reach for a fry and know you've got another sleeve of fries in the bag. You start to panic when you run out and then you hate yourself. But before the binge all that matters in the entire world is that food. I feel your pain

The biggest thing we need to be focusing on are other ways to bring about that feeling of peace and safety. I wish I had advice for you because I still don't know. When I lost my first 30 I did it by allowing myself whatever I wanted once a week and eating low the rest of the time. I couldn't have done it otherwise... but eventually I aim to eliminate the binging overall. I wish you the best and feel free to add me if you want some support you're not alone!

I've never heard that about the stomach sleeping before, I do that too!

HonkyTonks

Stomach sleeping! I am an anxious person (I have generalised anxiety disorder) and I do sleep on my stomach AND I overeat. lol, makes much sense. I hate sleeping on my back or my side, I definitely think I feel more safe when I am on my stomach.

yellowdog77

Not that I want anyone to deal with binge eating but it is nice to know I am not alone.

aallison85

http://eatingmindfully.com/

I run a support group for individuals who have food addictions and who eat emotionally. I recommend checking out the link above. I have found mindful eating to be a very helpful tool when working to end emotional and binge eating. Take a look and feel free to message me if you have any questions!

aweightymatter

Oh my god, like the OP and some of the other subsequent posters, I totally feel your pain. I, too, am a "recovered" ex-bulimic/ED-NOS type of person who still struggles with emotional eating. I TOTALLY get the high from a binge too and it's freaking insane, and I know it's insane as it's happening.

It's funny because I think people who say "why not eat salad/oatmeal/air-popped popcorn first" may not understand all of the mechanics behind a binge... There are so many feelings going on that are unrelated to hunger that eating a lot of "healthy" stuff first can really just add up to extra food on top of whatever else, rather than as a deterrent.

That said, I just wanted to say HI and if anyone else in their 20s/30s/whatever is looking for someone who's been through a similar thing and needs a non-judgmental friend, I'm here.

I personally think if your method is working, then go for it. Restricting or saying I will "never" do or eat something again creates a sort of forbidden-allure thing and pretty much ALWAYS a later binge.

Something I am currently doing that's working for me right now is eating mini meals of about the same size throughout the day at regular intervals. It is definitely a pain in the *kitten* and will not work for anyone on a tight work schedule, etc. -- I have the luxury of a lot of free time... BUT, when I know more food is coming shortly, I don't get the kind of restriction desperation feelings I get that often trigger a binge.

Anyways OP you are doing really great identifying your issues and losing SO much weight, so I congratulate you and wish you a lot of luck!!! xoxo

mshel19

i could literally sit in my house all day and eat im a big eater and i love food .. ive been really good the past 3 days so hopefully this continues i really am determined to stop this constant battle of my weight and "do my pants fit right" and "ill just wear a sweatshirt tonight bc i feel fat ".. i dont want to feel like that anymore and thats what i think of when i even think of eating something bad, didnt kno if that helped in any way but thats what is helping me stick to my plan

MaximalLife

I have a weekly free day and a monthly binge day where I eat non-stop like a government welfare bum.
That works for me!

Bonita_Lynne_58

I'm another with a history of binge eating....have never purged, used laxatives or excessive exercise afterward. Haven't binged in quite awhile now. I have often thought I'd rather be addicted to drugs or alcohol than food. I could avoid drugs, but have to eat to live.

Glad you're doing what works for you.

StevLL

I get where you are coming from. I had a binge last week and while at the end of the day it was only 840 calories over, it's the feeling of helplessness and guilt that talkes the real toll. I have been clean and sober for 24 years and funny is that I am in the field, but it still happens with food. It really is not a type of food for me, it's usually just an anxious, agitated feeling that comes over me and the next thing you know it's like where is the shovel and it doesn't matter whether I'm full or not. I like the idea of a binge day that could work. I've only done it twice since March and this journey is definitely helping me learn to cope with stress better. I'm turning to my weights/exercise & meditation more often, but sometimes you just fall on old behaviors. Lots of nice folks and great responses. Good luck and you've done awesome, so the few bumps in this long haul is pretty amazing.

CocoaBeautiful78

Oh goodness....It feels really good to know I'm not the only one who struggles with this!

cprice05

I am a binge eater too. I haven't discovered a way to control it yet so I go down 2, up 2 (or more). There are so many great ideas on here and I'm so grateful. I tend to eat whatever and never feel satisfied...like I'm trying to find that one thing that I'm "craving.". I feel horrible the entire time and think I'll magically change tomorrow. I'm going to look up OA and also give the once a month or week thing a shot to try and place control on it. Thanks to the OP and all other posters.

Ambrogio1

Here's my deal.

I've always binged ate in my life just sat there with like two mcdonalds meals and bags of chips and just scarfed it down...my thing though is I never purged it up.........just stuffed down all my freaking feelings or boredom or whatever it was I never really needed an excuse.

So during this journey I have found myself struggling with not binge eating and it's happened of course and ruined many many weeks for me.

So for now I'm allowing myself one day a month....just one where I can do whatever I want...I will log it however. And that day was yesterday for me....

I just want people to understand something here.....

Food is my addiction.

Just like herion is for someone else....and you have two schools of thought on addiction....abstinance and harm reduction. Well folks I live and breath harm reduction.



If my brain knows that there is one day in the future that I can binge and 'get high' then it can wait......so it doesn't happen out of the blue ect.....like it has been happening....

So understand or don't understand.....that's your choice. Thanks.

Understanding and Controlling. I see no issue thre. Kudos to you man! Great work
Although ur issues are more mental then phsyical, that physical probably helps you. The spike day that is
Good Job and Good Luck

maews

bingers don't need therapy.....that is a bunch of crap...just a little more willpower and self disclpine that's all.....a person can binge all the time...........this should be about occasinal binging,not binging everynight...that is my opinion.

ShrinkRapt451

http://eatingmindfully.com/

I run a support group for individuals who have food addictions and who eat emotionally. I recommend checking out the link above. I have found mindful eating to be a very helpful tool when working to end emotional and binge eating. Take a look and feel free to message me if you have any questions!

THIS. Mindfulness is such a great tool. Learning how to really be present NOW and not ruminate about the past (and feel depressed) or the future (and be anxious) is so powerful.

@maews: you are entitled to your opinion, but blatant rudeness really isn't called for. "Suck it up, buttercup" is not the solution for everyone.