Binge eating ...... people don't understand.

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  • LosingLizard
    LosingLizard Posts: 69
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    I agree with you. Most people will never understand what it's like. A traumatic event in my past triggered BED for me. At first, I ate when I was scared, or lonely. Eventually, I started to use food to cope with all my feelings... Until one day I woke up, and realized that every feeling triggers a binge (even positive feelings!!). It got to the point for me that I couldn't even identify what I was feeling. In counselling, I could only describe it as "hungry". I realize now that it's not physical hunger, but an emotional one. Even today (after counselling and a great deal of soul-searching), I struggle with identifying how I feel.

    I remember eating entire 40-pack boxes of Timbits... A whole ice cream cake... Fast food meals that should have fed four.... Bags and bags of Halloween candy (that I would pretend I bought for the trick-or-treaters)...

    It's a constant battle. I don't think people who haven't experienced it can possibly understand how food makes people like you and I feel.

    Congrats on your loss though! I'm also losing (50lbs since the summer). If you ever need help or support, feel free to add me. :)

    This sounds so much like me! A pretty common binge for me is 2 large sized McDonald's meals (one particularly bad day it was 3), but I've also been known to taken down an entire bag of double-stuff oreos. Any holiday that is based on sugary treats was heaven for me because I felt like I could buy a lot and look like I was just being festive - but it was really just a weekend stash.

    I've been a binger as long as I can remember, but I've also been depressed as long as I can remember. When I was a teenager, my way of coping was to leave the house and go for long walks or bike rides - this was the only way I could get alone time. I usually used those walks or rides to get a Blizzard from Dairy Queen, but since I was walking for hours a day, it was fine. Life caught up with me once I moved to an office job while being in a particularly bad relationship, that ended even worse.

    I finally conceded I needed help and went to therapy and went on anti-depressants. That helped a lot, but it seems now my brain is actually "trained" to binge or something. Every day I'm fighting my own head convincing myself I don't want to binge, I have no need to binge. It won't even be a bad day and my brain is going "Helloooooo.....GORGE!!!" And I wish I could make the urge stop, but I just fight it one day at a time.

    Going low carb helps a lot - not Atkins low carb, since I still eat fruit and veggies to my heart's content, but no sweets or starches as they are my triggers. I almost caved yesterday, since I'd had a really bad day, but I talked myself off a ledge and has a few extra carby treats, but managed to stay well within my calories.

    It's so isolating because if anyone ever sees you overeat, you just KNOW they're judging you thinking "well that's why she's fat!" so you have to hide, and eat in secret. I would turn down weekend plans sometimes so I could lock myself in my house all weekend and binge away. I remember once being with a friend, who weighed just as much as me, and she was discussing another girl we worked with, who was also our side. She said something to the effect of "I can't believe how much she eats! She told me she eats a whole pint of Ben and Jerry's in one sitting!" I didn't know what to say, having not only done that, but one of the full sized tubs as well. But I was so ashamed in that moment.

    Anyway, I'm babbling, but I was so grateful to see others dealing with this. I can't even stand it half the time, but I'm trying so hard. After watching a lot of episodes of Starving Secrets with Tracey Gold, I've picked up one of her phrases - "That's your eating disorder talking." Whenever the urge becomes almost unbearable, I stop and remind myself that I'm not hungry, it's my eating disorder talking, and I need to tell it to shut up.

    One day at a time, we all get stronger.
  • auntdeedee87
    auntdeedee87 Posts: 706 Member
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    Next time you feel like binging, shoot me a message.

    I've been there.

    I don't know about you, but I always wind up feeling worse, not better, and wishing I had just resisted. Like any other addiction, it takes resolve and strength, and determination-- I think we all possess those! It's a lot of mind over matter.

    If you want to have your day, feel free. If you decide to try and break that habit once and for all, I'm a good friend. :)
  • auntdeedee87
    auntdeedee87 Posts: 706 Member
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    bingers don't need therapy.....that is a bunch of crap...just a little more willpower and self disclpine that's all.....a person can binge all the time...........this should be about occasinal binging,not binging everynight...that is my opinion.

    Binging is generally a reaction to deeper-seeded issues. It's not about the food.

    It DOES help to talk it out and try to eradicate the cause before it turns into the effect.
  • LosingLizard
    LosingLizard Posts: 69
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    Something I learned is that people who are anxious often have two habits: stomach sleeping and overeating. Both stimulate a nerve just over your belly that promotes feelings of calm and safety. I do both. I understand completely.

    REALLY? I'm a stomach sleeper - can't sleep in any other position. I had no idea it was in any way connected.
  • auntdeedee87
    auntdeedee87 Posts: 706 Member
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    Something I learned is that people who are anxious often have two habits: stomach sleeping and overeating. Both stimulate a nerve just over your belly that promotes feelings of calm and safety. I do both. I understand completely.

    REALLY? I'm a stomach sleeper - can't sleep in any other position. I had no idea it was in any way connected.

    Yeahhh, mind = blown. I would have never connected those two. It makes sense, though!
  • ngory07
    ngory07 Posts: 194 Member
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    I understand soooooo much!! I relate to that so freaking much I got 85% of my stomach removed so I couldn't binge eat!
  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
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    I totally understand! I could eat an entire medium pizza and cinnamon sticks from Dominos and then eat cookies after...it filled whatever hole was inside of me, tasted good at the time, and left me feeling worse after, turning to more food. I've had a few slip ups the past few months since I began using this site, but I've come so far and you can, too!!! <3
  • LosingLizard
    LosingLizard Posts: 69
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    bingers don't need therapy.....that is a bunch of crap...just a little more willpower and self disclpine that's all.....a person can binge all the time...........this should be about occasinal binging,not binging everynight...that is my opinion.

    Overeating and bingeing are not the same thing. At all.

    While I respect your right to an opinion, this is clearly an area that you do not understand. Bingeing, as we are discussing it, is not just gluttony and sloth. Bingeing is almost always related to emotions. So yes, therapy is often the cure.
  • Judgirl83
    Judgirl83 Posts: 12
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    I completely understand. I managed to overcome my BED for awhile and lost 90lbs. Then some really bad things happened in my life and caused my issues with depression to spiral out of control. I have suffered with severe depression as long as I can remember so I know it is linked to my eating.

    I do fine during the day at work, but all alone at night the demons and feelings come back and I eat to escape them. I am really struggling to overcome my BED. I am on antidepressants and things are starting to get better. Although I still binge I am eating less and on things like fruit. My entire goal every day is to not binge. So far no success but I am really hoping I overcome today. Just one day at a time.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    This is a truly interesting topic. I feel as if I could relate here, but that maybe some might think I don't. I don't binge eat to the extent of some people, but I'll eat a lot of "low cal" things that will end up totalling a lot in calories. Then I just feel horrible about it and feel pretty stupid actually.

    I think allowing yourself one day a month is a pretty smart thing to do. I would normally binge eat on McDonald's before I started this MFP journey, which was craaaazy in calories.

    I wish you the utmost best of luck.
  • tookiepretzel
    tookiepretzel Posts: 1
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    Hey guys, i totally feel your pain. A few months back i decided to finally get healthy and be comfy in a bathing suit.. lost 20 lbs and felt great! now, ever since xmas, ive been slipping.. end up binging like 1 day every 1-2 weeks. its uncontrollable and i feel so awful afterwards. ive gained 10 lbs back and im so scared... i hate feeling like all my hard work was for nothing. i never set out with the intent to binge- ill like go to a party and eat a cookie or two and feel bad and then in my head im like ' oh, you went over your c alorie limit, whatever you do now doesnt matter cause its over anyways". and then i end up eating myself sick. im on summer break right now so im hoping when school comes back (in like 2 weeks) the structure will give me a distraction from food.. im sick of the guilt! its great to know im not alone though
  • HonkyTonks
    HonkyTonks Posts: 1,193 Member
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    bingers don't need therapy.....that is a bunch of crap...just a little more willpower and self disclpine that's all.....a person can binge all the time...........this should be about occasinal binging,not binging everynight...that is my opinion.

    Overeating and bingeing are not the same thing. At all.

    While I respect your right to an opinion, this is clearly an area that you do not understand. Bingeing, as we are discussing it, is not just gluttony and sloth. Bingeing is almost always related to emotions. So yes, therapy is often the cure.

    I agree with this. I don't get why binge eating can't be treated the same way we treat anorexia. It is an eating disorder. It isn't overeating, it is periods of eating to the point of feeling sick (sometimes followed by purging) and related to emotional/control issues. Is it okay to tell an anorexic they just need to suck it up and eat more? Get some willpower? When we start treating these core issues that cause people to gain weight rather than this 'one size fits all' approach. I don't deny that willpower and self discipline come into play when it comes to weight loss, I am just saying that it's insensitive and incorrect to say that binge eating disorder should be completely disregarded.
  • Goal_Seeker_1988
    Goal_Seeker_1988 Posts: 1,619 Member
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    I sometimes randomly binge without any reason for why I do it. Just get in this deep craving of some kind that nothing seems to help. So I think that is a really great idea allowin yourself one day a month to cheat and binge and not let it get ya down.
  • godricshollow
    godricshollow Posts: 274 Member
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    bingers don't need therapy.....that is a bunch of crap...just a little more willpower and self disclpine that's all.....a person can binge all the time...........this should be about occasinal binging,not binging everynight...that is my opinion.

    I was a binge eater in high school, it was how I gained all my weight. It wasn't because I couldn't control my bottomless pit of a stomach... it was because there was a deeper issue there and eating distracted me from it. So, sorry to say... but some binge eaters DO need therapy so that they can find the cause of their binge eating. I was lucky that I didn't need therapy but to say that binge eaters don't have willpower is just like saying anyone else with an eating disorder simply doesn't lack the drive to make themselves better. :noway:
  • tataliciousd89
    tataliciousd89 Posts: 465
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    i'm a binge eater too but the only way i can control it is abstinence. any form of potato is a huge trigger for me so i can't have them at all. i'm still trying to get back on track after thanksgiving. good luck to you!
    This. Carbs are my downfall. I have never binged on anything else. Chips, fries, crackers, popcorn, bread, candy, noodles, rice... it's aweful, so I just decided that until I feel that I can enjoy these things responsibly I'm just not gonna have any of it. I am eating a ton of delicious food and still losing weight. No binging since christmas!
  • she_the
    she_the Posts: 25 Member
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    Wow. I have a lot to think about after reading this...

    Thank you.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,695 Member
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    Here's my deal.

    I've always binged ate in my life just sat there with like two mcdonalds meals and bags of chips and just scarfed it down...my thing though is I never purged it up.........just stuffed down all my freaking feelings or boredom or whatever it was I never really needed an excuse.

    So during this journey I have found myself struggling with not binge eating and it's happened of course and ruined many many weeks for me.

    So for now I'm allowing myself one day a month....just one where I can do whatever I want...I will log it however. And that day was yesterday for me....

    I just want people to understand something here.....

    Food is my addiction.

    Just like herion is for someone else....and you have two schools of thought on addiction....abstinance and harm reduction. Well folks I live and breath harm reduction.



    If my brain knows that there is one day in the future that I can binge and 'get high' then it can wait......so it doesn't happen out of the blue ect.....like it has been happening....

    So understand or don't understand.....that's your choice. Thanks.
    Then you need to go to therapy.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • JadeRabbit08
    JadeRabbit08 Posts: 551 Member
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    Something I learned is that people who are anxious often have two habits: stomach sleeping and overeating. Both stimulate a nerve just over your belly that promotes feelings of calm and safety. I do both. I understand completely. It doesn't matter what it is. You need to have more, more, more and you feel safe as long as you go to reach for a fry and know you've got another sleeve of fries in the bag. You start to panic when you run out and then you hate yourself. But before the binge all that matters in the entire world is that food. I feel your pain :'(

    The biggest thing we need to be focusing on are other ways to bring about that feeling of peace and safety. I wish I had advice for you because I still don't know. When I lost my first 30 I did it by allowing myself whatever I wanted once a week and eating low the rest of the time. I couldn't have done it otherwise... but eventually I aim to eliminate the binging overall. I wish you the best and feel free to add me if you want some support :) you're not alone!

    I've never heard that about the stomach sleeping before, I do that too!
    I wonder if using a firm control garment in that area would give enough pressure to work?
  • JadeRabbit08
    JadeRabbit08 Posts: 551 Member
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    bingers don't need therapy.....that is a bunch of crap...just a little more willpower and self disclpine that's all.....a person can binge all the time...........this should be about occasinal binging,not binging everynight...that is my opinion.

    I didnt have a problem with binge eating or major weight issues until after there was a murder in the family. When you live with an intense emotional pain there is no escape from, its like being an insect impaled on a pin. You will do almost anything to have that pain ease, even for a minute. Eating did that. I should have sought counselling way earlier. When eating goes past exercising will power and crosses over into compulsive behaviour, counseling is the answer.
  • Chelsea506
    Chelsea506 Posts: 3
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    I am struggling with the same thing. I was always about 25 lbs overweight in highschool. I played sports which at least kept me healthy. When I went to college I began losing about 5-6 pounds a year-due to hard workouts and practice for volleyball. By my senior year I was down 30 pounds. I became a vegetarian and worked out extra and eating right became easy. The second semester of my senior year after I was done with volleyball for good. I started having binging episodes. It go do bad I gained about 15 pounds back in 1 month! I I just lost control. Its been a 2 year battle to get it under control. Some weeks are better than others.I've finally got about 10 pounds back off but I still have a long way to go. For some people the connect it to an emotional thing. For me I can remember when it started and I figure it has to do with volleyball and college ending for me but my life now is so different and I still have the same problem. I am so happy at the moment. I have a great family, great friends, job I love, and a future that I am looking forward too. This is the one thing holding me back. My trick right now is that when I feel like I just want to binge I start to journal or read a magazine or book...just distract myself as long as possible until it settles. It is a problem people dont understand but the good news is for us that we have the power to make it better1

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