What makes a relationship work?
Replies
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I suppose I should clarify..."love conquers all" was more a debate point...not something I completely believe in.
I did...when I was like 16-18 but realized that, yes, that IS a fairy tale.0 -
I must say this is also extremely important, when this is bad minds start to wander.Sex.
Oh, and communication.
How could I forget to mention sex?!?! No sex = relationship killer. Period!
AGREED! I love the wild, adventurous side to a relationship! :blushing:0 -
Communication is a difficult subject in the fact that men and women communicate differently. A lot of women are long winded and a guys attention span is short. If you don't get to the point quick we start to zone out. And with us most of us talk or explain things quick which gives the illusion that we're trying to hide something. Communication between the genders needs to be approached with logic and reason. Guys and girls need to be aware of each others biological communication flaws.Communication and trust goes hand and hand an of course all other factors as well.. But communication is on the top of my list... something my ex could not grasp. But I do hope for someone in the future with great communication. It would make the relationship work
This is a great thing to bring up...males and females ideas of communication! I see many many many girls (myself included) who want to beat a subject to death.
Is that bad communication, guys just being unwilling, or are the girls really just talking about it because they want to break down their partner into agreeing with them?!
I see what you mean, but I suppose the communication I am referring to is more of being open and honest, in communicating that way. Communication is broad0 -
It's not a fairy tale, it's a perspective based on work being put into the love. Then it conquers!0
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My philosophy is this: It's wonderful when you've found something great, but you'll only get to keep it if you continue to work for it. Love is the catalyst. It takes honest understanding and hard work to make a relationship last.
+1
I highly recommend Fire Proof / The Love Dare, you will learn a lot about yourself0 -
"Communication is a difficult subject in the fact that men and women communicate differently. A lot of women are long winded and a guys attention span is short. If you don't get to the point quick we start to zone out. And with us most of us talk or explain things quick which gives the illusion that we're trying to hide something. Communication between the genders needs to be approached with logic and reason. Guys and girls need to be aware of each others biological communication flaws." (sorry I accidentally deleted the html quote thingys. you know who you are)
TOTALLY agree. It takes being sensitive to how you both communicate to make communication mutually satisfying and actually beneficial. If I gabbed my husband's ear off every night, he'd go insane. Likewise, it can be hard for him to realize that his idea of spending time together i.e. falling asleep on the sofa doesn't satisfy my need for "spending time together". Finding the balance between what you both need is the trick. Being honest about what you need is step one to getting there.0 -
I don't think you only need love. Every person has their breaking point, and sometimes, once you have snapped, nothing, not even love, can put the pieces back together. You also need Trust, respect, honesty, loyalty, and faith.
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My philosophy is this: It's wonderful when you've found something great, but you'll only get to keep it if you continue to work for it. Love is the catalyst. It takes honest understanding and hard work to make a relationship last.
+1
I highly recommend Fire Proof / The Love Dare, you will learn a lot about yourself
I downloaded that as an ebook and was JUST thinking about reading it!!0 -
Many abused women love their abusers. I don't think that's a working relationship.In your opinion what makes a relationship work? Say two people really love each other-but have lots against them...
Does love conquer all barriers? Or does it take more?
I am personally leaning towards both people (in love) will make anything work until they decided not to.
Thoughts?
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
My philosophy is this: It's wonderful when you've found something great, but you'll only get to keep it if you continue to work for it. Love is the catalyst. It takes honest understanding and hard work to make a relationship last.
+1
I highly recommend Fire Proof / The Love Dare, you will learn a lot about yourself
Will look into it, thanks for sharing!! :flowerforyou:0 -
Many abused women love their abusers. I don't think that's a working relationship.In your opinion what makes a relationship work? Say two people really love each other-but have lots against them...
Does love conquer all barriers? Or does it take more?
I am personally leaning towards both people (in love) will make anything work until they decided not to.
Thoughts?
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
[/quote
I am asking for what makes a HEALTHY relationship. Not asking how people justify their bad ones :P
I agree that it is not a working relationship to stay with someone who abuses you0 -
Relationships are about equal giving and taking. If one side gives more than the other, eventually the giver will feel unappreciated. Eventually it leads to unhappiness in the relationship and it's nothing more than a live together situation.
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I was under the assumption that "does love conquer all barriers" was the question at hand.I am asking for what makes a HEALTHY relationship. Not asking how people justify their bad ones :P
I agree that it is not a working relationship to stay with someone who abuses you
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Relationships are about equal giving and taking. If one side gives more than the other, eventually the giver will feel unappreciated. Eventually it leads to unhappiness in the relationship and it's nothing more than a live together situation.
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Buddhist Psychology says that you should never expect anything from anyone else. You should give freely or not give at all.
What is everyone's thoughts on that?
I believe equality doesn't really exist.0 -
Thanks lol Communication seems to be a hot topic. I'm pretty bad with the spending time and NOT falling asleep in the sofa lol"Communication is a difficult subject in the fact that men and women communicate differently. A lot of women are long winded and a guys attention span is short. If you don't get to the point quick we start to zone out. And with us most of us talk or explain things quick which gives the illusion that we're trying to hide something. Communication between the genders needs to be approached with logic and reason. Guys and girls need to be aware of each others biological communication flaws." (sorry I accidentally deleted the html quote thingys. you know who you are)
TOTALLY agree. It takes being sensitive to how you both communicate to make communication mutually satisfying and actually beneficial. If I gabbed my husband's ear off every night, he'd go insane. Likewise, it can be hard for him to realize that his idea of spending time together i.e. falling asleep on the sofa doesn't satisfy my need for "spending time together". Finding the balance between what you both need is the trick. Being honest about what you need is step one to getting there.0 -
I was under the assumption that "does love conquer all barriers" was the question at hand.I am asking for what makes a HEALTHY relationship. Not asking how people justify their bad ones :P
I agree that it is not a working relationship to stay with someone who abuses you
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yes, I clarified later in the thread. I guess I should add it into the main thread :P0 -
Thanks lol Communication seems to be a hot topic. I'm pretty bad with the spending time and NOT falling asleep in the sofa lol"Communication is a difficult subject in the fact that men and women communicate differently. A lot of women are long winded and a guys attention span is short. If you don't get to the point quick we start to zone out. And with us most of us talk or explain things quick which gives the illusion that we're trying to hide something. Communication between the genders needs to be approached with logic and reason. Guys and girls need to be aware of each others biological communication flaws." (sorry I accidentally deleted the html quote thingys. you know who you are)
TOTALLY agree. It takes being sensitive to how you both communicate to make communication mutually satisfying and actually beneficial. If I gabbed my husband's ear off every night, he'd go insane. Likewise, it can be hard for him to realize that his idea of spending time together i.e. falling asleep on the sofa doesn't satisfy my need for "spending time together". Finding the balance between what you both need is the trick. Being honest about what you need is step one to getting there.
My man is the same way. Sleeping in each others arms is the perfect way to spend a day. And I'm the kind of person who wants to get out an explore :P
Luckly for him I also love sleeping in his arms so he usually can get his way ;P0 -
Wont let me edit my post? idk guess people will have to be confused :P0
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Buddhist Psychology says that you should never expect anything from anyone else. You should give freely or not give at all.
What is everyone's thoughts on that?
I believe equality doesn't really exist.
This I believe a thousand percent. I try and live this way in ALL my relationships. I admit, sometimes its hard when youre giving so much of yourself to someone who is perfectly willing to take and not contribute.0 -
Buddhist Psychology says that you should never expect anything from anyone else. You should give freely or not give at all.
What is everyone's thoughts on that?
I believe equality doesn't really exist.
This I believe a thousand percent. I try and live this way in ALL my relationships. I admit, sometimes its hard when youre giving so much of yourself to someone who is perfectly willing to take and not contribute.
I agree! I struggle with it constantly but have seen great results in my attitude when I think this way.0 -
I don't think love concurs all. I believe the relationship works as long as you want it to work and as long as you work at it.
Also, willingness to compromise your differences and resisting the urge to change your partner helps. Not expecting every day to be rainbows and butterflies is key.
It's not an easy task to come up with a perfect formula. I've been married for 12 years and we've both sacrificed things, went through really low times, had a lot of unexpected things happen, had some really fantastic high points. I just go back to my first statement, as long as each of you want to be in the relationship, it'll continue to grow.
I agree with this. Love doesn't conquer all. The two people in the relationship have to not only love one another, but respect one another, be willing to compromise and not think they're going to turn the other person into someone else. I truly believe respect ranks higher than love in deciding whether or not a relationship will work. You can love someone, but if the respect is lacking? The relationship likely won't survive.
After a divorce, I've realized that you can NOT compare one person to another. Never tell the other person "well, my ex did _____ (whether it is good or bad)" No one wants to be compared to someone. I think being open minded and accepting another person's flaws are important too. None of us are perfect and we all have flaws - some are worse than others and can't be overlooked.0 -
Compromise, forgiveness, love and laughter.0
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If you only gave, you would get taken advantage of. I've seen many a female as a client who has gone through this.
Buddhist Psychology says that you should never expect anything from anyone else. You should give freely or not give at all.
What is everyone's thoughts on that?
I believe equality doesn't really exist.
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
If you only gave, you would get taken advantage of. I've seen many a female as a client who has gone through this.
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
[/quote
I felt this way when I read that as well. The book I read explained it better. Basically it says you should not give freely and abandon your own self respect.0 -
Compromise, forgiveness, love and laughter. I like that! 0
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Bump to post comment later0
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i'm not really sure anymore. My relationship is so confusing(8 years together yet so very apart). I just know that when I'm having a horrible day, even if i'm annoyed at him. Everything just feels Okay again when in arms of my man.0
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an assload of compromise lol0
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After a divorce, I've realized that you can NOT compare one person to another. Never tell the other person "well, my ex did _____ (whether it is good or bad)" No one wants to be compared to someone. I think being open minded and accepting another person's flaws are important too. None of us are perfect and we all have flaws - some are worse than others and can't be overlooked.
I agree with not comparing...kinda like don't try and change a person...comparing is like asking them to be someone they're not.0 -
Thanks lol Communication seems to be a hot topic. I'm pretty bad with the spending time and NOT falling asleep in the sofa lol"Communication is a difficult subject in the fact that men and women communicate differently. A lot of women are long winded and a guys attention span is short. If you don't get to the point quick we start to zone out. And with us most of us talk or explain things quick which gives the illusion that we're trying to hide something. Communication between the genders needs to be approached with logic and reason. Guys and girls need to be aware of each others biological communication flaws." (sorry I accidentally deleted the html quote thingys. you know who you are)
TOTALLY agree. It takes being sensitive to how you both communicate to make communication mutually satisfying and actually beneficial. If I gabbed my husband's ear off every night, he'd go insane. Likewise, it can be hard for him to realize that his idea of spending time together i.e. falling asleep on the sofa doesn't satisfy my need for "spending time together". Finding the balance between what you both need is the trick. Being honest about what you need is step one to getting there.
LOL. 50% rate of falling asleep on the couch is tolerable. Especially after 12 hour + work days. More time together is what the weekends are for 0
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