What makes a relationship work?

WarriorMom2012

Separate bank accounts, separate bedrooms and lots and lots of alcohol.

Kelly_2013

I think Friendship, Love, Trust and yes... sex. Is what makes a relationship work!! Sex I feel is a very important part of a relationship... And you both need to be friends and want to be around each other.... You need to have that unconditional love because yes there will be times that you make mistakes be it big or small... and Trust.... If you are jealous all the time and always wondering what the other is doing then you're not going to have the time to enjoy the relationship you are in..

kappy_hollowell

I think it takes more than just love. You need to be able to agree on things. You need to be friends, first and foremost. My husband is my BEST FRIEND. We do everything together! We never argue, we hardly ever disagree, and when we do disagree or have a "spat" we sit down and talk about it and work through it. There is give and take. You have to compromise sometimes.

I hope everything works out for you.

(like another poster said..... sex too. It has to be there.)

hperowl

Seriously though. Relationships neither work or fail. People either work or fail. If two people are willing to learn to give up their preferences, forgive when they don't feel like it, and spend time cultivating their's and the over persons love, then obstacles become adventures.

I kinda have to agree here. I've been married for almost 15 years and it amazes me sometimes how much my husband and I have changed over time and although we have our differences (and there have been many over the years) we always seem able to put them aside and compromise. Once you are in a lasting relationship you realize that it's not all about you anymore. As you mature and have a family your views on life change and your priorities change making you realize what matters most in life are your relationships with those you love. Communication is absolutely key. If you can't explain your thoughts and feelings to your partner then why be with them? How can you understand who they are as a person, or they you? It can be hard to balance putting them first and keeping an understanding of who you are as a person, but they have to be able to do the same. But if you work together, then you can have a loving and lasting relationship! Good luck to you!

cruiseking

If I have to "work" on a relationship; it's not worth it. A relationship should feel natural, and not like work. Friendship, and communication are vital. Also, having both similiar, and seperate interests is a big plus. Common goals, and philosophy about life is also important. But, if starts to feel like a job, I'm moving on.

raevynn

As a survivor of a bad marriage, I can tell you what doesn't work: any sort of control struggles, game playing, or "working at it"

If you are spending time trying to figure out how to make it work, it probably isn't.

Try treating the other person as you prefer to be treated. If for some reason you don't actually have respect for them, don't want to be courteous, and don't like to spend time with them doing what they like doing, then you should start asking yourself some tough questions.

Remember, if they have a quirk that annoys you, odds are, you have a quirk that annoys them.

cruiseking

Also; the two most important words a man can say "Yes Dear".

SabrinaJL

In your opinion what makes a relationship work? Say two people really love each other-but have lots against them...

Does love conquer all barriers? Or does it take more?

I am personally leaning towards both people (in love) will make anything work until they decided not to.

Thoughts?

I was 15 when I started dating my husband. Got pregnant 4 months later. Our daughter was born when I was 16 and I married him when I was 18. By that time, he had joined that Navy, which he has now been in for 17 years. So we had a thing or two against us. Next month we will have been together for 19 years and still very happy and in love.

I think you are right. What makes a relationship work is both people being truly dedicated to making it work.

umachanxo

Relationships are a lot of work.

Love isn't something that's constantly felt and it sure isn't always nice and happy either. It can be very frustrating and at some times, it can be painful too. My fiance and I have been together nearly 3 years now, and living together for 2 and a half of them. I can say that we've been through a lot together, and certainly not all times have been smooth.

We've gone through times where that "lovey feeling" isn't there, but yes, we worked through it together. The idea of a relationship to me, is a partnership. It's he and I working together and supporting and helping each other in everything that we do. That can be hard at times, yes, but it's something that we really aim for.

Seeing him, even when I'm so angry I don't want to be around him, and remembering why we are together, always somehow brings things back together and calms and arguments.

That's what makes my relationship work. And I know it's different for every couple, so I cannot possibly say that this is the way that every relationship will work.

JennLifts

When you put them before you, and they do the same, you dont really lose yourself. It's a partnership. That involves real trust.

LOVE this.

honeysprinkles

If I have to "work" on a relationship; it's not worth it. A relationship should feel natural, and not like work. Friendship, and communication are vital. Also, having both similiar, and seperate interests is a big plus. Common goals, and philosophy about life is also important. But, if starts to feel like a job, I'm moving on.

I kind of agree. Compared to a lot of people on here, my relationship is not that long, but as far as my age goes and compared to a lot of people my age, it's been a while (4.5 years) and even though it's not always easy, it's not a job either. I think at least a good part of it needs to come naturally and easy. I'm sure everyone has to work through things at times, but if that's consuming 90% of the relationship, it's probably not a great sign.

KimmieBrie

If I have to "work" on a relationship; it's not worth it. A relationship should feel natural, and not like work. Friendship, and communication are vital. Also, having both similiar, and seperate interests is a big plus. Common goals, and philosophy about life is also important. But, if starts to feel like a job, I'm moving on.

I think when we say work we mean effort - not like a job you hate effort where everything is a struggle and it's unnatural - but thinking the person and relationship is worth it to work through whatever compromises need to be made or hard times. Effort to consider them and their point of view. Effort to make another person happy. No relationship is without its ups and downs. If you aren't willing to make an effort then yes - move on - for both of you.

teagin2002

I must say every one is different, for me I work very hard at my relationship and I know my hubby does too. our relationship may not work for other people and that is ok.

Arguing over something you want that others don't and what they want and you don't is pointless.
Just find what you want, and the points I put were pretty general everyone can follow.

I hope everyone finds what they want, it makes them happy and they have the ability to recognize that it makes them happy

adrian_indy

You know what makes it work. Willingness to make it work. That is it. If both members what a relationship to work, if they are willing to sacrifice and think of eachother, sometimes more than themselves, then it will work. But if a couple goes in thinking of only what they are getting out of if, game over. My wife and I are complete opposites on almost everything, and we've been told over and over again that it would never work. We've been together close to 17 years and married almost 10.

LeanMeanFitnessMachine

I've been with the same lady since we were teens.
We've been through most everything, had 5 kids and are still passionate, happy and a complete team.
28 years married this saturday!

Here is what works:

1. Intimacy and attraction - SEX - if you fail here, forget it. Nothing else will work.
2. Communication - be honest with each other about everything. No holding back, and if you can't, the relationship will either fail or digress into a union of convenience devoid of love and passion.
3. Money - without money, love will go out the window.
4. Common Interest - don't grow apart as two people with separate lives and desires. Stay on the same page.
5. Space - don't smother! Guys need time away to go hunting, fishing or shooting pool, telling dirty jokes, and ladies need time out with the girls.
6. Romance - ladies, don't stop dressing sexy, and guys, bring flowers a few times each month. Plan a date once a week.
Have crazy sex in the car or something like that - not the same old boring thing in the same old boring room, same old boring position in the same old boring bed...SPICE IT UP!
7. Play together - throw a ball, take a hike, ride bikes, play tennis, play cards - just play! Have fun just playing

That's it!
Go, and do likewise...lol

THIS! You should write a book on how to make love last.

Daysednconfused

I'm still trying to figure this out. I don't think love is always enough though. Sometimes there's just too much in the way.

cruiseking

If I have to "work" on a relationship; it's not worth it. A relationship should feel natural, and not like work. Friendship, and communication are vital. Also, having both similiar, and seperate interests is a big plus. Common goals, and philosophy about life is also important. But, if starts to feel like a job, I'm moving on.

I think when we say work we mean effort - not like a job you hate effort where everything is a struggle and it's unnatural - but thinking the person and relationship is worth it to work through whatever compromises need to be made or hard times. Effort to consider them and their point of view. Effort to make another person happy. No relationship is without its ups and downs. If you aren't willing to make an effort then yes - move on - for both of you.

What you are defining as "Effort" in my opinion is Respect. Respect should take zero effort, it is a natural, and mutual understanding that is earned. I do things with my wife that I wouldn't choose to do on my own , I do them because I love and respect her. It never feels like I'm being dragged into something, kicking and screaming. I do it for Her. Also, it is very hard for somebody to make somebody else happy. Happiness comes from within. I don't make an effort to make my wife happy. We are happy together.

Football_N_Guns

RESPECT AND TRUST

zoe4friends

Mutual Respect, Understanding and Trust are on the top of my list

SamanthaTheSpartan

keeping calm and collected when arguing. Making sure you make your "points" when you argue based on your feelings and the logistics of those--not your reactionary emotions.

That's one smart guy, right here!