Coworkers are sabatoging me
Elf_Princess1210
Posts: 895 Member
I have told my fellow coworkers that I'm trying to lose weight, but they keep trying to get me to eat cookies, cake, chocolate, ect. I realize it's the Christmas season, but I'm trying to be healthy an NOT gain a ton of weight during the holidays. I'm getting really frustrated! For instance, last night I told one girl thanks but no thanks to m&ms, but she put it on my desk anyway. Then another girl brought cakes and got mad when I told her I didn't want any but thanks anyway. Now I'm not a souless zombie, and I do budget for treats every day (can't live without Dove Dark Chocolate!) however, I'm tired of them pressuring me to eat junk. The kicker? Not a single one of them are as overweight as I am.
I could really use some encouragement.
I could really use some encouragement.
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Replies
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Hi I'm sure they aren't intentionally trying to sabotage your weightloss a lot of people just see offering treats as a way of being nice and nothing else. I bet they don't even think about the fact your on a diet they just like to offer.
Good luck with your journey
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They are handing it to you? They are putting it on your desk? Are they actually putting it in your mouth? If you dont want to be rude, and take it...it doesnt mean you have to eat it. Throw it out later, add into your calories for the day, or re-gift it. If its cake, then you can say no. If they get mad, you tell yourself that its ok. If they are your friends they would understand. Thanks but no-thanks is usually my response. Good luck with that but dont let it get you down. Please dont feel obligated to them, be obligated to yourself and your mission. :bigsmile:0
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It's ok, they are probably just trying to be nice, so just remind them every time they bring something to you that you are trying to loose weight, so please don't be offended by me not eating any.
Also be appreciative of them including you, it sounds to me that is what they want. To include you in their reindeer games, it is not a bad thing at all, they just need to know you can still participate without eating.
Good luck!0 -
I have told my fellow coworkers that I'm trying to lose weight, but they keep trying to get me to eat cookies, cake, chocolate, ect. I realize it's the Christmas season, but I'm trying to be healthy an NOT gain a ton of weight during the holidays. I'm getting really frustrated! For instance, last night I told one girl thanks but no thanks to m&ms, but she put it on my desk anyway. Then another girl brought cakes and got mad when I told her I didn't want any but thanks anyway. Now I'm not a souless zombie, and I do budget for treats every day (can't live without Dove Dark Chocolate!) however, I'm tired of them pressuring me to eat junk. The kicker? Not a single one of them are as overweight as I am.
I could really use some encouragement.
I'll be honest... I've found that people want YOU to eat in order to make themselves feel better about eating it. They know you are trying to lose weight and they aren't trying to sabotage you directly. They are trying to feel less guilty about consuming this stuff and if YOU eat it, well.. they feel less guilty. Twisted justification (the girl who is "dieting" ate it, so I can eat it too!), but I've found this to be how it is with people. They KNOW it isn't good for them, but they can't say no to it. If you say no, they feel guilt. If they convince you to eat it, well they feel better about eating it too.
I used to have a girl at work who would constantly buy me cookies and cream Hershey bars. I HATE white chocolate and would always politely decline them. She would tell me "It won't kill you to eat chocolate!" and I would say "Perhaps not, but if I am gonna waste 150 calories on something? it will be something I actually LIKE".0 -
More than likely they are doing two things....trying to be nice by sharing with you and trying to keep you from depriving yourself. That said, I have been through the same situation and I worked up the guts to ask why are you trying to get me to eat this stuff? My coworker explained that she was worried I wouldn't be able to sustain my loss while depriving myself. I informed her at that time that I have some kind of treat (or two) almost every day and that I am in no way depriving myself and that if I were interested in trying the office treat I would serve myself a small portion. Stay strong!0
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A former (very skinny) boss once kept offering me mini bars of chocolate, and when I said no, he put some on my keyboard whilst I was away from my desk . I picked up the bars, walked over his desk, put them on the floor and repeatedly jumped up and down on them. He found my actions funny, but stopped offering me sweets.
I don't think your colleagues are deliberately trying to wreck your diet, they are just being friendly.0 -
Toss it in the trash. Simple.0
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As a baker and someone who gets serious pleasure of out seeing others enjoy whatever food I've made I can honestly say that I get bummed when people don't want to partake. When I make a new dinner I have to ask my husband what he thinks. If he has a criticism (which I welcome) it makes me feel a little sad because whether it's my fault or not, I obviously didn't get it right the first time. (Being pregnant does not help those feelings!)
So, if someone brings in something homemade and gets their feelings hurt that others won't eat it, I understand that. If people are just shoving store bought candy and treats at you they're being rude if they don't take no for an answer.0 -
No one is sabotaging you. You make the choice to accept the cookies and junk food and eat it.
They are probably just being nice and used to giving you things like this so don't take it out on them. Just gently say, "no thanks" or toss it, regift it, etc.0 -
food pushers
I have a few of them around me too
however its MY eating plan and I want to be healthy for life
so this means I dont want to be constantly depriving myself
leave yourself a few extra calories to have ONE treat at work and make sure you are seen eating it say thank you - then say no thank you for the rest of the day
go for a walk at your lunch break - or if its cold where you are walk around the building to get a few extra cals burnt0 -
It's kind of funny... After saying that the reason I drink diet soda is because regular is too sweet for me people just assume that I don't like sweet foods so they don't usually offer me any. Maybe you could just tell them that you don't really like those things?0
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It's kind of funny... After saying that the reason I drink diet soda is because regular is too sweet for me people just assume that I don't like sweet foods so they don't usually offer me any. Maybe you could just tell them that you don't really like those things?
I actually don't like sweets much at all, and people who know me know that. Periodically, people will still gift sweets, so I just say thanks and my husband eats them all.0 -
Say no once, if they insist on giving it to you anyway, Throw it all in the bin in front of them. I bet they wont do it again. Make a big deal out of binning it too!! Well done for keeping strong x0
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It's ok, they are probably just trying to be nice, so just remind them every time they bring something to you that you are trying to loose weight, so please don't be offended by me not eating any.
Also be appreciative of them including you, it sounds to me that is what they want. To include you in their reindeer games, it is not a bad thing at all, they just need to know you can still participate without eating.
Good luck!
Sorry Teagin, but she has a right to be offended when she makes it very clear from the beginning, "thanks but no thanks" - she shouldnt have to tell them she is trying to lose weight. The fact that they are disrespecting her 'no thank you' and just continue to push makes them in the wrong doubly so...
To the OP -
You can do either one of three things:
1.) Give in to keep the peace (obviously you dont want to do that)
2.) Let them put it on your desk. Once they leave, throw it away out of their view....
3.) Let them put it on your desk. Once they leave, put it in the break room for someone else to grab.
I work in a professional kitchen and let me tell you the tons and tons of treats, foods, sauces, dips that are often taste-tested and everyone wants each other's feedback... I simply tell them "no thank you" and get back to my work... when they try to push, I remind them that I would rather someone else taste-test because I cant eat alot of certain foods and dont need the allergic reaction... (it aint pretty, let me tell you) - I dont know what they put in it and they arent going to always remember everything they put in it as well....0 -
Only we can sabotage ourselves 0
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I know this is tough but chuck it in the garbage. I don't even think you have to make a big deal out of it. Just don't succumb. It isn't worth it.0
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They're probably jealous of your accomplishments.0
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You can do it!!!! My coworkers do the same thing, we just have to stay strong and not give in.... we can do it!0
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Hi I'm sure they aren't intentionally trying to sabotage your weightloss a lot of people just see offering treats as a way of being nice and nothing else. I bet they don't even think about the fact your on a diet they just like to offer.
Good luck with your journey
[/quote
She told them she was trying to lose weight. It was intentional. Give her flowers, a poinsettia!!!0 -
Hi I'm sure they aren't intentionally trying to sabotage your weightloss a lot of people just see offering treats as a way of being nice and nothing else. I bet they don't even think about the fact your on a diet they just like to offer.
Good luck with your journey
She told them she was trying to lose weight. It was intentional. Give her flowers, a poinsettia!!!
BINGO!0 -
It has to be me!!! It is intentional, She told them she wants to lose weight and they are giving her treats!!! They are NOT being nice, nor thoughtful, nor considerate. We are supposed to be considerate of others. They are not listening, Say, thank you and toss it in front of them. Perhaps, they are all deaf.
Yes, it is intentional.0 -
Anyone who knows you are on a diet react in different ways...now you know who they are. Don't let it get you down or it will and you will be unsuccessful. So, hang in there. Don't call it a diet. It is a change in eating habits really, not a diet. Stress keeps the weight on so let it go and all your worries. Do this for you; you are in control. Don't expect people you work with to be understanding; Coworkers have their own perspectives. Friends will keep you going, but most importantly you will keep yourself committed if you are ready for a change. I know you can do it.0
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You will be a much happier and more successful person if you quit mistaking generosity for sabotage.
Graciously decline their generosity and holiday cheer. No means no. But be nice about it.
And send all that deliciousness to me.0 -
its the same with smokers, a person may have made the choice to give up but as people constantly offer cigarettes its inevitable that one day that person will succumb. I think that when someone is making good lifestyle choices and seeing results others are envious and find comfort in other people having the same habits - be it chocolate, tobacco or alcohol. Politely refuse, or take it and say thanks I'll give it to my kids, grandkids, nephew, niece whatever. They will soon get fed up of supplying your relatives with chocolate and its a little more polite than throwing it in the bin.0
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Actually the only good thing about being diagnosed with diabetes was the ability to honestly say "I'm diabetic, no thanks"; people immediately apologise and take it away. Of course I'm not diabetic anymore since taking off 45 pounds, but people don't have to know that
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They are not physically forcing you to eat anything, only you can sabotage your diet.
Nothing to be gained by being nasty to co-workers, simply don't eat anything that you wouldn't have chosen to eat. If they put something on your desk, say "Thanks, but as you know I'm dieting" and just move it to one side and ignore it.
To lose weight and keep it off, you are going to have to use willpower for the rest of your life. You may as well start getting some practice in now.0 -
Just say no thank you.0
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It's hard sometimes when there are temptations, but you can't control what other people do, only how you respond to what they do. It doesn't even really matter what their motivation is. What matters is what yours is. Hang in there. I've found I'm most successful not only when I decide what I'm not going to have but also when I plan for what I AM going to have. It's not enough for me to tell myself I won't eat junk. I have to make sure I have good stuff to eat in its place. Good luck, and happy holidays!I have told my fellow coworkers that I'm trying to lose weight, but they keep trying to get me to eat cookies, cake, chocolate, ect. I realize it's the Christmas season, but I'm trying to be healthy an NOT gain a ton of weight during the holidays. I'm getting really frustrated! For instance, last night I told one girl thanks but no thanks to m&ms, but she put it on my desk anyway. Then another girl brought cakes and got mad when I told her I didn't want any but thanks anyway. Now I'm not a souless zombie, and I do budget for treats every day (can't live without Dove Dark Chocolate!) however, I'm tired of them pressuring me to eat junk. The kicker? Not a single one of them are as overweight as I am.
I could really use some encouragement.0 -
You have upset the proverbial apple cart by having the nerve to try to control your diet. Changed the dynamics of the relationship -. In the past, they gave you treats and you seemed to like it. They think that you secretly are craving these things and will quietly enjoy them when they aren't watching. Stick to your guns. Be gracious but consistent. If someone offers you something they personally baked, it won't hurt to sample it with just one bite, but that is where I try to draw the line. Nothing is worse than an inconsistent message.
Arm yourself with some good responses:
"Thank you, but I have recently discovered that I have a bad reaction to x. I'm going to have to pass." (Don't necessarily specify that it causes you to break out in fat.)
"Darn, I wish I could, but I'm out of calories for the day." (I use this one with people who know I'm counting)
"My doctor has put some restrictions on my diet for now - I really can't eat it - doctors orders."
"It looks delicious, and it was very thoughtful of you to remember me, but I'm afraid eating that isn't an option for me today. Perhaps ____ would like an extra one." If they ask why it's not an option, pull an embarrassed face and say, "Its rather personal, let's just leave it at that."
"Oh dear - I don't know if you were aware that x gives me migraines. I wish I could, but I just don't dare risk it." (This is true for me of several foods)
Good luck navigating the office treat minefield!0 -
As a 'skinny' person around someone trying to lose weight, the dynamics are quite strange. The non-dieter feels a little guilty about eating in front of the dieter and feel that they might be insulting them by not offering. They also 'subconsciously' want them to know that they accept them just as they are and 'hardly see them' as being overweight. For most 'skinny' people, eating sweets and cakes have very little effect on their 'bottomline' and they don't have the same 'addiction reaction' to sugary foods as most people do who suffer with weight problems and food addictions... So, they simply don't realise that they are sabotaging your efforts. They feel that a little chocolate or a piece of cake will not upset the apple cart and that you shouldn't be so 'uptight' about it... But little do they know that one bite could unleash an avalanche of negative feelings and railroad weeks of hard work.
So, how to handle it. Be upfront with people and tell them that you are trying to break a habit and need all their support. Even small temptations during the first few weeks (while you're still 'struggling to say no') are enough to push you back weeks and then you'll have to start all over again.
And then set celebration goals where YOU will bring the cake when you've reached a certain goal, or set a date where they will take you out to enjoy this or that when you've reached that specific goalpost.
That puts everyone at ease giving them 'permission' to not offer, makes it a team effort and puts YOU in control.
People who deliberately sabotage your efforts because they don't have the willpower to say no while you do ... Well, there you will just have to stay strong and firmly say "NO THANKS! I would rather be slim and healthy than have a 5 minute cake-fest, as yummy as it does look, thank you very much! Bless you for offering!"
I also like the 'I don't like sugary foods' deal. That has been a favourite of mine for many years. As well as the ... 'If I'm going to take in extra calories, they'd better be GOOD!' (Not just ANY old chocolate/ice cream/ whatever...)
Or just lie! Hahaha! If they offer, just say 'Oh my goodness no, I've just been to lunch and had the most delicious choc pudding... But thanks, I'll give it to the tea lady' -- and then do it!
Stay strong, it's your body and life. 0
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