Coworkers are sabatoging me
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I once worked with a food pusher who would not take no for an answer. Once she baked a birthday cake for a co-worker. This other person was a friend of mine, so I intended to join in singing Happy Birthday and them leaving without the cake. The pusher practically tackled me, shoved a slice of cake in my face and all but told me I HAVE to eat it. I took the cake and on my way out the door threw it very publicly into the trash can. Everyone in the room, including the pusher, saw it. I guess she was embarrassed because she never tried to force food on me again. Some time later, she was fired. Seems she was spending too much time on the internet looking for recipes and not doing her job.0
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I know I have nothing better to do for the holidays than to think about how many calories my coworkers are individually allowed to consume or whether or not they've reached their quota or will exercise and earn more - and THEN plot ways to destroy their ability to stay on their diets.0
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You, too???I know I have nothing better to do for the holidays than to think about how many calories my coworkers are individually allowed to consume or whether or not they've reached their quota or will exercise and earn more - and THEN plot ways to destroy their ability to stay on their diets.
This is all I think about...everyone else's goals.0 -
I'd be thankful and flattered that your coworkers love you. Since the beginning of cultural development food has been a vital part of community, if they didn't like you they wouldn't offer.
However, I'm making 4+ kinds of dessert tonight to take into my office for Monday.
Be grateful that we live in a time when butter and flour aren't scarce, be grateful that we have such a surplus people can feed those who don't want food. Be GRATEFUL and don't complain. Don't it eat, take it home and feed it to the neighbor kid or throw it out, do an extra 10 minutes at the gym. Don't complain about too much food. I have friends in Haiti who don't have enough.0 -
It isn't easy resisting temptation, and hats off to all those that have given great advice concerning pushy co-workers. Perspective is also good! That being said, I would like to add that in a community like MFP where support is key I find it disheartening that there were so many negative responses to this thread. If you don't have something supportive to say, don't say it. If you don't want to read about someone's struggle with temptation and co-workers, then just read something else. Snide and obnoxious comments are unnecessary and counter-productive! We area all here to support one another and that has to be number one. We are all in this together and what may come fairly easy to one may be a fierce struggle to another. Let's help each other, eh?0
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As a teacher, I get TONS of homemade goodies as gifts. Do i want them? No. Do I eat them all? No. My husband is also a teacher, so we double the amount of "junk" in house during the holidays. However, I recognize that this is how my students and families are choosing to acknowledge their appreciation. So, I taste a bit of it...usually in front of the student, and then I give the rest of it to my ex-husband, who is a cop, who then takes it to work and all the guys working the graveyard shift polish it off. Easy-peasy.0
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Sorry, double post.0
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Friends and family will always behave this way, and I typically react according to how well they know me.
The less interaction we have, the more polite I am about it.
My real friends have heard me say, "Would you keep insisting to an alcoholic that they should have a drink with you?". You shouldn't have to have diabetes or food allergies to make this go away. I think you may find it refreshing to draw the line, to their faces, and get them to respect your decision.0 -
I'd be thankful and flattered that your coworkers love you. Since the beginning of cultural development food has been a vital part of community, if they didn't like you they wouldn't offer.
However, I'm making 4+ kinds of dessert tonight to take into my office for Monday.
Be grateful that we live in a time when butter and flour aren't scarce, be grateful that we have such a surplus people can feed those who don't want food. Be GRATEFUL and don't complain. Don't it eat, take it home and feed it to the neighbor kid or throw it out, do an extra 10 minutes at the gym. Don't complain about too much food. I have friends in Haiti who don't have enough.
My thoughts exactly. Food is a part of our culture and used to show people you care about them. You don't have to eat what they give you, of course, but please be grateful of the gesture and your fortune.0 -
Just keep turning them down and insist on your diet. Eventually they'll just give up trying to offer you food. Mine have0
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Only YOU can sabatoge you
This. Your co-workers are trying to justify their snacks by pawning some off on you, but unless they're holding you down, prying your mouth open, and shoving food down your throat, it's still all on you.
If "no thanks" isn't enough for them, then "Is there something wrong with your hearing?" is an appropriate response. Otherwise, take whatever they share with you, and put it in the trash -- in front of them. Then, they might get the picture.0 -
As a baker and someone who gets serious pleasure of out seeing others enjoy whatever food I've made I can honestly say that I get bummed when people don't want to partake. When I make a new dinner I have to ask my husband what he thinks. If he has a criticism (which I welcome) it makes me feel a little sad because whether it's my fault or not, I obviously didn't get it right the first time. (Being pregnant does not help those feelings!)
So, if someone brings in something homemade and gets their feelings hurt that others won't eat it, I understand that. If people are just shoving store bought candy and treats at you they're being rude if they don't take no for an answer.
I'm absolutely this way as well. I offer treats to people regardless of if they are dieting or not, and yes, I'm offended if they don't take any.
The point: suck it up. If you don't want it, then say no. You have all the control here. I doubt they actually are trying to "sabotage you" but instead are offering you something festive, that they wish you would also enjoy. So, in short- say "no, thank you" and move on.0 -
Toss it in the trash. Simple.
Yep. Problem solved.
Why do we get so twisted up trying to please our coworkers? I would bet not a one of them would offer to take care of your family financially should something happen to you as a result of obesity.
The only people I need to please are the ones I'm related to--and even some of them can blow off if they come at me sideways.0 -
The mark of a good host/hostess is not to ensure everyone stuffs themselves to discomfort, rather that whatever the guest would like, and the quantity they would like is available to them. A place I used to work at had a huge anniversary sale and after party. One of my superiors kept insisting I HAD to have a few drinks with the rest of the staff, even after I said I was fine with pop. I finally had to tell him it was because my husband and I hoped I was pregnant, as we had been trying for a few months. Things got a little awkward after that, but at least he stopped insisting.
If you've told them, and they keep insisting, being firm is appropriate, and the ensuing awkward moment is their fault. "I've already said no, thank you. I'm trying to watch what I eat. If I want something later, I will be sure to ask for one, and I do have an occasional treat. But if I took a treat every time it was offered, I would be eating worse than before."
You could also record it and whenever they offer, you could just play it back for them. It could turn into a fun little game. Haha0 -
This is the best part of being vegan - instant excuse not to eat co-workers' crap. "Sorry, that has milk/eggs/animal product in it, but thanks for the thought!"
Otherwise, I just take it, thank them, and then dump it/regift it.0 -
Ugh, double post.0
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Sorry to disagree with a lot of you. I came to this forum with almost the same exact complaint. Last week I was at a friend's house and she kept offering me a latke (potato pancake that is fried in oil). I politely told her no thank you. She kept insisting I have it. I kept saying no. Polite people ask once or twice and done. When someone is leaving M&Ms on the OPs desk, that IS sabotage. Maybe they are not doing it on purpose, but the fact is, OP told her co-workers no, and they still are trying to get her to eat it. And I am also not buying the holiday baking notice. M&Ms are not something someone made.
Last week I had to make dessert for a friends party, enough to feed 75 people. I was not in the least offended by people who told me that they didn't taste it because it was fattening. I have no problems with it. And yes, I did also bake for all the teachers at school. (I included some low calorie/low sugar treats as well, and labeled everything as such.) Yes, people have a choice what they put in their mouths. But when someone is pressuring you to try it, or leaving it behind for you, THEIR message is loud and clear... we don't care what you want ... our wants/needs are more important.
OP, congrats on staying strong. I came here for help, and I think I figured out what I am going to do in the future. Say no one time and then not answer the question. *I* will be the one who is deaf. LOL. :laugh:0 -
If you can't talk them out of giving you goodies, either pass them on to skinny people or dispose of them. You have a trash can, right? Sneak it in there when they're not looking. I had a friend try to get me drunk one night. We were sitting next to a door that opened onto the sidewalk. He would turn his head, and I would toss the drink out the door. I actually enjoyed that. :-)0
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Mugsisme is right but so is everyone else.
It's very easy to get upset at people that just won't stop until you give in and I definitely won't hold it against you if you yell at someone because of it.
However you have to take responsibility for yourself. This is your chance to train yourself on how to deal with this sort of situation. "Throwing yourself in the deep end" etc.
Also, if you give in a couple of times don't hate yourself for it. But you want to get to a place where no matter what happens around you and to you, YOU are in control.
I have the same problem at my work, maybe not as drastic, though. One day I yelled in a semi-funny-serious way "I'm on a f***ing diet!". No one took offence (Australians swear and yell at each other all time) but they did stop offering me the cake.
Now the problem was that if one day I decided that I did want to treat myself and take offered snacks then they'd be upset by the lack on consistency. "You yelled at me yesterday but today you're stuffing your face?!" It's easier in the long run to say "not today, thanks" than it is to get aggressive at people.
One afternoon I help my auntie with her PC (family tech support). I had already eaten dinner and was done for eating for the day.
She insisted I stay for dinner. I say 'no' a few times and she wore me down so I stayed. I put only salad with no dressing on my plate because I knew I wouldn't be consuming so much then.
She then started pushing steak and cheesy macaroni on me. I protested as politely as I could. Yelling was not an option, you DO NOT disrespect your family if you're Lebanese. Finally I let her put it on my plate.
I was so mad. She had no right to push that food on to me especially since I had told her that I had already eaten. No wonder I'm obese, my family has no concept of moderation! I mean come on, two whole dinners in one day?
Yet, it's a game of resolve. You feel bad if you don't take food from someone that insists. Well why should YOU be the one that feels bad? Both of you have a preferred outcome from the situation. Why should your preferred outcome be the one that's unreasonable? Why don't THEY feel bad for pushing food onto you when you don't want it?0 -
If you can't talk them out of giving you goodies, either pass them on to skinny people or dispose of them. You have a trash can, right? Sneak it in there when they're not looking. I had a friend try to get me drunk one night. We were sitting next to a door that opened onto the sidewalk. He would turn his head, and I would toss the drink out the door. I actually enjoyed that. :-)
Oh my fantasy is just throwing the food in the bin right in front of them as an agressive way of saying "F*** You, you didn't listen to me. This is what I think of your insistence!"
Of course that's oddball behaviour :P0 -
Take them and give them to the homeless guy who stands by the freeway exit
or throw them in the garbage.
Don't let small stuff bother you.0 -
To emurano: I totally get the cultural "thing" (for lack of a better term) regarding not disrespecting your family even when they're pushing food on you. However, that is STILL your issue. Not your family's. In so many cultures/families, feeding those you care about is a sign of prosperity, adoration, etc. If you (generic you, not "you" specifically) have decided to buck that tradition, then (IMHO) it's your responsibility to suck it up and not be an *kitten* about it.0
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To emurano: I totally get the cultural "thing" (for lack of a better term) regarding not disrespecting your family even when they're pushing food on you. However, that is STILL your issue. Not your family's. In so many cultures/families, feeding those you care about is a sign of prosperity, adoration, etc. If you (generic you, not "you" specifically) have decided to buck that tradition, then (IMHO) it's your responsibility to suck it up and not be an *kitten* about it.
Oh absolutely! I didn't mean to give the impression that I'm blaming my family's culture for my obesity. Well I sort of am, but the point I was trying to make (badly I guess) is that no matter what outside influences you have (Leb family, pushy co-workers, biological disadvantages) you HAVE TO take control of your progress and work around these things.
To give the original poster the benefit of the doubt I think she's really just asking for help or venting in order to release that pressure so she can re-focus.0 -
* duplicate post*0
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To give the original poster the benefit of the doubt I think she's really just asking for help or venting in order to release that pressure so she can re-focus.
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This is exactly why I started this thread; in order to vent my frustration and re-focus my efforts into sticking to a healthy life style.0 -
I had the same problem when I worked in an office. Birthdays or holidays would come up (and it seemed to happen oh so often) and people would pretty much demand I have a slice of cake or a cookie etc. Just got to continue to be firm with the no, yet still polite. If they put it on your desk anyway or hand you a piece, just toss it in the trash.
But yeah, I def. understand your frustrating. It's so hard when people don't take it seriously when you try to lose weight an eat better.0 -
No one is sabotaging you. You make the choice to accept the cookies and junk food and eat it.
They are probably just being nice and used to giving you things like this so don't take it out on them. Just gently say, "no thanks" or toss it, regift it, etc.
People DO do it intentionally though, my coworkers have done the same. I said no to some maltesers, they all know I am trying to lose weight and I know how many calories some maltesers have. Whilst I was in the bathroom they left a big bowl of maltesers right in front of my keyboard! Then they thought it was funny when I got back. I know nobody can force me to eat anything I don't want, but I'd really prefer it if my coworkers respected what I said and didn't try and make my life harder. I avoid having those things around because I don't need the temptation.0 -
No one has sabotaged you, the only way anyone can make you eat anything is if they hold you down, pry your mouth open and shove it down your throat. You have the choice to eat it or not.
My husband brought the family out to McDonalds the other night while we were doing Christmas shopping, no one made me eat there, no one made me eat a big mac and fries, nope I had a snack wrap, not my first choice, and not something I ever really care if I eat again, I make my mind up on what I put in my belly. So do you. If you don't want to eat it, then don't eat it. No one can make you say no, you have to tell yourself to say no. It's a little thing called Will power. No they should respect you and not put the stuff on your desk, but if they do, dump it out, you don't have to eat nothing you don't want to eat, obviously you wanted to eat it if you ate it.0 -
This is the best part of being vegan - instant excuse not to eat co-workers' crap. "Sorry, that has milk/eggs/animal product in it, but thanks for the thought!"
Otherwise, I just take it, thank them, and then dump it/regift it.
lol. People also tend to take diets more seriously and not be as insistant if you state it's for a medical reason.
For example. When I was stuck going to luncheons for work and people would ask why I'm not eating, I would simply say, "My doctor has me on a special diet for high cholesterol." then people wouldn't push the issue. PRoblem solved.0 -
No one has sabotaged you, the only way anyone can make you eat anything is if they hold you down, pry your mouth open and shove it down your throat. You have the choice to eat it or not.
My husband brought the family out to McDonalds the other night while we were doing Christmas shopping, no one made me eat there, no one made me eat a big mac and fries, nope I had a snack wrap, not my first choice, and not something I ever really care if I eat again, I make my mind up on what I put in my belly. So do you. If you don't want to eat it, then don't eat it. No one can make you say no, you have to tell yourself to say no. It's a little thing called Will power. No they should respect you and not put the stuff on your desk, but if they do, dump it out, you don't have to eat nothing you don't want to eat, obviously you wanted to eat it if you ate it.
I didn't eat it.0
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