Coworkers are sabatoging me

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  • formersec
    formersec Posts: 233 Member
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    I once worked with a food pusher who would not take no for an answer. Once she baked a birthday cake for a co-worker. This other person was a friend of mine, so I intended to join in singing Happy Birthday and them leaving without the cake. The pusher practically tackled me, shoved a slice of cake in my face and all but told me I HAVE to eat it. I took the cake and on my way out the door threw it very publicly into the trash can. Everyone in the room, including the pusher, saw it. I guess she was embarrassed because she never tried to force food on me again. Some time later, she was fired. Seems she was spending too much time on the internet looking for recipes and not doing her job.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    I know I have nothing better to do for the holidays than to think about how many calories my coworkers are individually allowed to consume or whether or not they've reached their quota or will exercise and earn more - and THEN plot ways to destroy their ability to stay on their diets.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    I know I have nothing better to do for the holidays than to think about how many calories my coworkers are individually allowed to consume or whether or not they've reached their quota or will exercise and earn more - and THEN plot ways to destroy their ability to stay on their diets.
    You, too???

    This is all I think about...everyone else's goals.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    I'd be thankful and flattered that your coworkers love you. Since the beginning of cultural development food has been a vital part of community, if they didn't like you they wouldn't offer.

    However, I'm making 4+ kinds of dessert tonight to take into my office for Monday.

    Be grateful that we live in a time when butter and flour aren't scarce, be grateful that we have such a surplus people can feed those who don't want food. Be GRATEFUL and don't complain. Don't it eat, take it home and feed it to the neighbor kid or throw it out, do an extra 10 minutes at the gym. Don't complain about too much food. I have friends in Haiti who don't have enough.
  • oodlesnoodles
    oodlesnoodles Posts: 53 Member
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    It isn't easy resisting temptation, and hats off to all those that have given great advice concerning pushy co-workers. Perspective is also good! That being said, I would like to add that in a community like MFP where support is key I find it disheartening that there were so many negative responses to this thread. If you don't have something supportive to say, don't say it. If you don't want to read about someone's struggle with temptation and co-workers, then just read something else. Snide and obnoxious comments are unnecessary and counter-productive! We area all here to support one another and that has to be number one. We are all in this together and what may come fairly easy to one may be a fierce struggle to another. Let's help each other, eh?
  • Just_Dot
    Just_Dot Posts: 2,289 Member
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    As a teacher, I get TONS of homemade goodies as gifts. Do i want them? No. Do I eat them all? No. My husband is also a teacher, so we double the amount of "junk" in house during the holidays. However, I recognize that this is how my students and families are choosing to acknowledge their appreciation. So, I taste a bit of it...usually in front of the student, and then I give the rest of it to my ex-husband, who is a cop, who then takes it to work and all the guys working the graveyard shift polish it off. Easy-peasy.
  • Just_Dot
    Just_Dot Posts: 2,289 Member
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    Sorry, double post.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    Friends and family will always behave this way, and I typically react according to how well they know me.

    The less interaction we have, the more polite I am about it.

    My real friends have heard me say, "Would you keep insisting to an alcoholic that they should have a drink with you?". You shouldn't have to have diabetes or food allergies to make this go away. I think you may find it refreshing to draw the line, to their faces, and get them to respect your decision.
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
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    I'd be thankful and flattered that your coworkers love you. Since the beginning of cultural development food has been a vital part of community, if they didn't like you they wouldn't offer.

    However, I'm making 4+ kinds of dessert tonight to take into my office for Monday.

    Be grateful that we live in a time when butter and flour aren't scarce, be grateful that we have such a surplus people can feed those who don't want food. Be GRATEFUL and don't complain. Don't it eat, take it home and feed it to the neighbor kid or throw it out, do an extra 10 minutes at the gym. Don't complain about too much food. I have friends in Haiti who don't have enough.

    My thoughts exactly. Food is a part of our culture and used to show people you care about them. You don't have to eat what they give you, of course, but please be grateful of the gesture and your fortune.
  • Saruman_w
    Saruman_w Posts: 1,531 Member
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    Just keep turning them down and insist on your diet. Eventually they'll just give up trying to offer you food. Mine have
  • jskaggs1971
    jskaggs1971 Posts: 371 Member
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    Only YOU can sabatoge you

    This. Your co-workers are trying to justify their snacks by pawning some off on you, but unless they're holding you down, prying your mouth open, and shoving food down your throat, it's still all on you.

    If "no thanks" isn't enough for them, then "Is there something wrong with your hearing?" is an appropriate response. Otherwise, take whatever they share with you, and put it in the trash -- in front of them. Then, they might get the picture.
  • bprague
    bprague Posts: 564 Member
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    As a baker and someone who gets serious pleasure of out seeing others enjoy whatever food I've made I can honestly say that I get bummed when people don't want to partake. When I make a new dinner I have to ask my husband what he thinks. If he has a criticism (which I welcome) it makes me feel a little sad because whether it's my fault or not, I obviously didn't get it right the first time. (Being pregnant does not help those feelings!)

    So, if someone brings in something homemade and gets their feelings hurt that others won't eat it, I understand that. If people are just shoving store bought candy and treats at you they're being rude if they don't take no for an answer.

    I'm absolutely this way as well. I offer treats to people regardless of if they are dieting or not, and yes, I'm offended if they don't take any.

    The point: suck it up. If you don't want it, then say no. You have all the control here. I doubt they actually are trying to "sabotage you" but instead are offering you something festive, that they wish you would also enjoy. So, in short- say "no, thank you" and move on.
  • runs4zen
    runs4zen Posts: 769 Member
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    Toss it in the trash. Simple.

    Yep. Problem solved.

    Why do we get so twisted up trying to please our coworkers? I would bet not a one of them would offer to take care of your family financially should something happen to you as a result of obesity.

    The only people I need to please are the ones I'm related to--and even some of them can blow off if they come at me sideways.
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    The mark of a good host/hostess is not to ensure everyone stuffs themselves to discomfort, rather that whatever the guest would like, and the quantity they would like is available to them. A place I used to work at had a huge anniversary sale and after party. One of my superiors kept insisting I HAD to have a few drinks with the rest of the staff, even after I said I was fine with pop. I finally had to tell him it was because my husband and I hoped I was pregnant, as we had been trying for a few months. Things got a little awkward after that, but at least he stopped insisting.
    If you've told them, and they keep insisting, being firm is appropriate, and the ensuing awkward moment is their fault. "I've already said no, thank you. I'm trying to watch what I eat. If I want something later, I will be sure to ask for one, and I do have an occasional treat. But if I took a treat every time it was offered, I would be eating worse than before."

    You could also record it and whenever they offer, you could just play it back for them. It could turn into a fun little game. Haha
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
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    This is the best part of being vegan - instant excuse not to eat co-workers' crap. "Sorry, that has milk/eggs/animal product in it, but thanks for the thought!"

    Otherwise, I just take it, thank them, and then dump it/regift it.
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
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    Ugh, double post.
  • mugsisme
    mugsisme Posts: 127 Member
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    Sorry to disagree with a lot of you. I came to this forum with almost the same exact complaint. Last week I was at a friend's house and she kept offering me a latke (potato pancake that is fried in oil). I politely told her no thank you. She kept insisting I have it. I kept saying no. Polite people ask once or twice and done. When someone is leaving M&Ms on the OPs desk, that IS sabotage. Maybe they are not doing it on purpose, but the fact is, OP told her co-workers no, and they still are trying to get her to eat it. And I am also not buying the holiday baking notice. M&Ms are not something someone made.

    Last week I had to make dessert for a friends party, enough to feed 75 people. I was not in the least offended by people who told me that they didn't taste it because it was fattening. I have no problems with it. And yes, I did also bake for all the teachers at school. (I included some low calorie/low sugar treats as well, and labeled everything as such.) Yes, people have a choice what they put in their mouths. But when someone is pressuring you to try it, or leaving it behind for you, THEIR message is loud and clear... we don't care what you want ... our wants/needs are more important.

    OP, congrats on staying strong. I came here for help, and I think I figured out what I am going to do in the future. Say no one time and then not answer the question. *I* will be the one who is deaf. LOL. :laugh:
  • love22step
    love22step Posts: 1,103 Member
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    If you can't talk them out of giving you goodies, either pass them on to skinny people or dispose of them. You have a trash can, right? Sneak it in there when they're not looking. I had a friend try to get me drunk one night. We were sitting next to a door that opened onto the sidewalk. He would turn his head, and I would toss the drink out the door. I actually enjoyed that. :-)
  • EricMurano
    EricMurano Posts: 825 Member
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    Mugsisme is right but so is everyone else.

    It's very easy to get upset at people that just won't stop until you give in and I definitely won't hold it against you if you yell at someone because of it.

    However you have to take responsibility for yourself. This is your chance to train yourself on how to deal with this sort of situation. "Throwing yourself in the deep end" etc.

    Also, if you give in a couple of times don't hate yourself for it. But you want to get to a place where no matter what happens around you and to you, YOU are in control.

    I have the same problem at my work, maybe not as drastic, though. One day I yelled in a semi-funny-serious way "I'm on a f***ing diet!". No one took offence (Australians swear and yell at each other all time) but they did stop offering me the cake.

    Now the problem was that if one day I decided that I did want to treat myself and take offered snacks then they'd be upset by the lack on consistency. "You yelled at me yesterday but today you're stuffing your face?!" It's easier in the long run to say "not today, thanks" than it is to get aggressive at people.

    One afternoon I help my auntie with her PC (family tech support). I had already eaten dinner and was done for eating for the day.

    She insisted I stay for dinner. I say 'no' a few times and she wore me down so I stayed. I put only salad with no dressing on my plate because I knew I wouldn't be consuming so much then.

    She then started pushing steak and cheesy macaroni on me. I protested as politely as I could. Yelling was not an option, you DO NOT disrespect your family if you're Lebanese. Finally I let her put it on my plate.

    I was so mad. She had no right to push that food on to me especially since I had told her that I had already eaten. No wonder I'm obese, my family has no concept of moderation! I mean come on, two whole dinners in one day?

    Yet, it's a game of resolve. You feel bad if you don't take food from someone that insists. Well why should YOU be the one that feels bad? Both of you have a preferred outcome from the situation. Why should your preferred outcome be the one that's unreasonable? Why don't THEY feel bad for pushing food onto you when you don't want it?
  • EricMurano
    EricMurano Posts: 825 Member
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    If you can't talk them out of giving you goodies, either pass them on to skinny people or dispose of them. You have a trash can, right? Sneak it in there when they're not looking. I had a friend try to get me drunk one night. We were sitting next to a door that opened onto the sidewalk. He would turn his head, and I would toss the drink out the door. I actually enjoyed that. :-)

    Oh my fantasy is just throwing the food in the bin right in front of them as an agressive way of saying "F*** You, you didn't listen to me. This is what I think of your insistence!"

    Of course that's oddball behaviour :P

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