Parents Please Wake Up
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^^^^^what about the parents that don't have access to a grocery store? or, if there's one close by, they have to take their 5 kids under the age of 10 on the bus (which costs money) and transfer a few times? or, if there's no money for the bus, they have to walk 3 miles in the snow with their kids because there's no babysitter? or, if there's a babysitter available, how are they going to pay for it when they don't have a job and are on food stamps?
perhaps there's not a grocery store nearby, but a convenience store that sells canned junk? that's where most of the people that i work with do their GROCERY shopping.
junk food keeps kids fuller longer. for me, a big mac meal is going to keep me fuller than a piece of fish and some vegetables. parents buy their kids junk food in the area i work with BECAUSE of this. if they have a set amount of food stamps - let's say 500 a month, because that seems to be the average around my area for a family of 5 (an adult and 4 kids) - junk food is simply going to fill them up longer. many of the families i work with, who are absolutely destitute - once that food stamp money is gone, that's it. i had a mother tell me she was going to go sell plasma to try to get her child a nice Christmas dinner. my hubby and i easily spend 400 a month on food for the two of us, and we mainly buy generics and on sale.
and activity, sure. what about the gangs that shoot people? around here, that's pretty normal. or people who just mug you on the street. there are rec centers, but they cost money to enroll. most parents that i work with don't want their kids outside unless they're home.
education is key here. parents simply need to be educated on the choices for their kids, and access to nutritious foods needs to be improved, particularly in urban areas. and calling this child abuse? no. i work with kids who have been raped by their fathers, had the crap beaten out of them, neglected, been crack babies, etc. that's abuse. this is simply lack of education and lack of access to nutritious foods. unless you've been in this situation (maybe you have, i was just too upset to read through the whole thing) don't bother calling it abuse.
/gets off soapbox
You can feed a family of 5 very well on $500. Our budget for 4 people for a month is $500, but that includes our food, cleaning supplies, toiletries, alcohol, and dog food. My family is not going hungry, there is plenty of food in the house for the humans and animals. I do get the point that they can't phsyically get to a decent store - I have gone to the food desert stores - disgusting is the only way I can describe it.
This
well said!
There is never a short supply of people willing to make excuses for those unwilling to take responsibility for their life.
That's the reason we have this continuing issue.0 -
i truly understand what you are talking about!!! fast food is a treat in my house good report card. behaving at the her doctor appt. things like that. i get the strangest looks at the supermarket when my daughter is in the fruit section asking for the different fruits. shes 5 and been asking for fruit from when she could talk. or even worst she ask for vegetables. i have had other parents stop me and ask me how did i get her to do that. i feel like if i get the fruit and vegetables she ask for that its much much easier to get her to eat and want to try new ones!I don't understand what some parents are thinking when they buy their kids fast food nearly every day and give them stuff like pizza, chips, candy, and coke on a regular basis. Those things should be "treats" that are had only every once in a while. So many families feed their children junk food every day, and that is making generation after generation of obese people. I was 250 lbs by the time I was in jr high and 300 lbs by the time I was in high school. When you're a kid you're not born knowing what a proper meal should look like or what a portion size should be, we only know what we are shown and taught by our parents. It all starts when we are kids. If we learn bad eating habits and are never taught right, it's something we have to struggle with and try to over come when we are adults, which makes it a thousand times more difficult.
I've been struggling for years to undo the damage that my upbringing has done to my body as well as my mind. I have a very long way to go and it's extremely hard, but I'm doing it. And it pisses me off to see parents out there doing the same thing to their kids that my parents did to me. And it makes me want to shake their parents and scream - WAKE UP! Can’t you see what you’re DOING? Because when I look in the mirror at the 340 lb woman staring back at me I'm looking at THEIR future. And that breaks my heart.
If you’re a parent I’m begging you, BEGGING you, to put your foot down and turn things around for your children. YOU are the one shaping your child’s body and mind. You have control over what goes in your shopping cart and what goes on your table. You’re the parent. Love them enough to make the right choices for them.
I know I'm probably going to get flamed for this post, but I don't care. If just one parent reads this post and decides to make healthier choices for their family then it's worth it.0 -
I agree with parents educating children on how to read a label and what it means. If you also teach them that you can have a slice of pizza not 3 with a salad...that is educating and not restricting. I feel that our schools do not do a good job of serving a nutritious lunch. When I was in school it consisted of baked chicken, potatoes, veggies and and roll with milk. Today is shrimp poppers, pizza EVERDAY so the kids think that it is ok to eat all this on a daily baisis. Children definitely learn from examples...so let's get up and move with them.0
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Nothing in life that's worthwhile is easy, but the solution remains simple. Parents with fat kids are lazy and negligent.
Exactly!Just posting that parents should be healthier doesn't help the problem. You've posed no solution to the problem other than 'parents should do better'. The problem is far more complex than that and acting like it's a simple matter is, in my opinion, a disservice.
Don't be so myopic. One doesn't have to have a mapped out strategy plan to call attention to a problem. Sometimes just starting a dialog about an issue can be helpful and plant some seeds.
And it's not like they don't know what to do already - we all did long before we took ownership of our health.
Eat less - move more!
There's the solution.:drinker:
While at the end of the day it is that basic...there's so much more too it than that and it's by no means easy.
There is no sugar coating this.0 -
You can feed a family of 5 very well on $500. Our budget for 4 people for a month is $500, but that includes our food, cleaning supplies, toiletries, alcohol, and dog food. My family is not going hungry, there is plenty of food in the house for the humans and animals. I do get the point that they can't phsyically get to a decent store - I have gone to the food desert stores - disgusting is the only way I can describe it.
I live in New York, and my budget for food for just my fiancee and I is $400 a month. That's just food, it doesn't include any other house stuff. We eat healthy food at home, and thankfully I have a good job and can afford it. If I lived in NYC where I work, my monthly food budget would EASILY be double that. Food isn't cheap everywhere, but even going off your quote, $500 a month is a lot of money for some people. More than many can afford.0 -
Young or old we eat what we want. Filling the refrig with fruits, vegs, low fat whatever, Isn't going to stop school trading and just plain not eating. How healthy is not eating at all? Children are influenced more out of the house then in. It's called fitting in or finding persons like themselves. At any age we can decide when we want to control how much we eat 14 or 40. Blaming other people for our own choices is like saying we are not in control of ourselves. "Only I can hurt me, should I choice". Power, will and choice are ours to control.
LOL I guess we'll have to agree to disagree then. I think parents play a HUGE role in how there children eat. Yes, they may not eat the most nutritiousness stuff when they are around, but parents still control what goes on the dinner table and what they serve them for breakfast, snacks, etc. And when a parent teaches a child about good nutrition and teaches a kid to make healthy food choices it has lasting effects.
alot of kids can and do burn those calories off with sports. Moderation is the key and also not making blanket statements about how everyone should eat this or that. My neice eats like a horse, good food and bad and still look extremely skinny. My children are all fairly healthy, at decent weight levels, and eat good food as well as junk. The point is each child/ person is different and not everything is the parents fault. Maybe the better request would have been please pay attention to your children so you know if their having a problem with junk food, a lack of activity, or with portion sizes.
But what happens when these skinny children grow up and get jobs and stop participating in childhood sports? They have not been taught proper nutrition so they continue to eat unhealthy foods and soon are obese and develop obesity related diseases. I beleive we need to teach our children how to be healthy for life rather than how to be skinny children.
If they choose to become inactive after grown there is nothing a parent can do about that. This society of education teaches children about this subject at school so it's not like they don't know at that point that they need to be active and have a balanced diet.
Im sorry but this is wrong, the "education" you get from schools, the barely existent education that you go to lunch afterwards and eat pizza and tater tots, do you really expect that elementary schoolers (which is when I learned the food pyramid which by the way was never brought up again after elementary school) do you really expect them to ignore 18 years of unhealthy eating habits and change just because they are adults with a sedentary lifestyle, its true that children learn what they live, and how you are raised to eat and how you are raised to approach food will affect how you live for the rest of your life. Its your responsibility to change but responsibility also goes to their upbringings at home as well as what they ate at school.0 -
You can feed a family of 5 very well on $500. Our budget for 4 people for a month is $500, but that includes our food, cleaning supplies, toiletries, alcohol, and dog food. My family is not going hungry, there is plenty of food in the house for the humans and animals. I do get the point that they can't phsyically get to a decent store - I have gone to the food desert stores - disgusting is the only way I can describe it.
I live in New York, and my budget for food for just my fiancee and I is $400 a month. That's just food, it doesn't include any other house stuff. We eat healthy food at home, and thankfully I have a good job and can afford it. If I lived in NYC where I work, my monthly food budget would EASILY be double that. Food isn't cheap everywhere, but even going off your quote, $500 a month is a lot of money for some people. More than many can afford.
I was referring to the person that qouted the families were getting $500 a month food stamps for their families. I do understand that the price of food varies quite a bit depending on where you live. I also know that you can buy quite differetn things anywhere you live that add up to that $400 or $500 and can feed more or less people based on what you buy.0 -
Young or old we eat what we want. Filling the refrig with fruits, vegs, low fat whatever, Isn't going to stop school trading and just plain not eating. How healthy is not eating at all? Children are influenced more out of the house then in. It's called fitting in or finding persons like themselves. At any age we can decide when we want to control how much we eat 14 or 40. Blaming other people for our own choices is like saying we are not in control of ourselves. "Only I can hurt me, should I choice". Power, will and choice are ours to control.
LOL I guess we'll have to agree to disagree then. I think parents play a HUGE role in how there children eat. Yes, they may not eat the most nutritiousness stuff when they are around, but parents still control what goes on the dinner table and what they serve them for breakfast, snacks, etc. And when a parent teaches a child about good nutrition and teaches a kid to make healthy food choices it has lasting effects.
alot of kids can and do burn those calories off with sports. Moderation is the key and also not making blanket statements about how everyone should eat this or that. My neice eats like a horse, good food and bad and still look extremely skinny. My children are all fairly healthy, at decent weight levels, and eat good food as well as junk. The point is each child/ person is different and not everything is the parents fault. Maybe the better request would have been please pay attention to your children so you know if their having a problem with junk food, a lack of activity, or with portion sizes.
But what happens when these skinny children grow up and get jobs and stop participating in childhood sports? They have not been taught proper nutrition so they continue to eat unhealthy foods and soon are obese and develop obesity related diseases. I beleive we need to teach our children how to be healthy for life rather than how to be skinny children.
If they choose to become inactive after grown there is nothing a parent can do about that. This society of education teaches children about this subject at school so it's not like they don't know at that point that they need to be active and have a balanced diet.
Im sorry but this is wrong, the "education" you get from schools, the barely existent education that you go to lunch afterwards and eat pizza and tater tots, do you really expect that elementary schoolers (which is when I learned the food pyramid which by the way was never brought up again after elementary school) do you really expect them to ignore 18 years of unhealthy eating habits and change just because they are adults with a sedentary lifestyle, its true that children learn what they live, and how you are raised to eat and how you are raised to approach food will affect how you live for the rest of your life. Its your responsibility to change but responsibility also goes to their upbringings at home as well as what they ate at school.
this, too. the school i work it doesn't even have a health curriculum (grades K-8).0 -
Maybe the education thing is regional or school specific but I went to school in three different school districts over the course of my 13 years and any education on nutrition I got which like I said was in elementary school was a joke and had no affect on me as a kid or as an adult and the food choices where incredible unhealthy, pizza was offered everyday, and most everyone I knew had a big side of ranch with it and when they DID offer vegetables which was not everyday they offered them with a big helping of nacho cheese, they called them California veggies.0
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Young or old we eat what we want. Filling the refrig with fruits, vegs, low fat whatever, Isn't going to stop school trading and just plain not eating. How healthy is not eating at all? Children are influenced more out of the house then in. It's called fitting in or finding persons like themselves. At any age we can decide when we want to control how much we eat 14 or 40. Blaming other people for our own choices is like saying we are not in control of ourselves. "Only I can hurt me, should I choice". Power, will and choice are ours to control.
LOL I guess we'll have to agree to disagree then. I think parents play a HUGE role in how there children eat. Yes, they may not eat the most nutritiousness stuff when they are around, but parents still control what goes on the dinner table and what they serve them for breakfast, snacks, etc. And when a parent teaches a child about good nutrition and teaches a kid to make healthy food choices it has lasting effects.
alot of kids can and do burn those calories off with sports. Moderation is the key and also not making blanket statements about how everyone should eat this or that. My neice eats like a horse, good food and bad and still look extremely skinny. My children are all fairly healthy, at decent weight levels, and eat good food as well as junk. The point is each child/ person is different and not everything is the parents fault. Maybe the better request would have been please pay attention to your children so you know if their having a problem with junk food, a lack of activity, or with portion sizes.
But what happens when these skinny children grow up and get jobs and stop participating in childhood sports? They have not been taught proper nutrition so they continue to eat unhealthy foods and soon are obese and develop obesity related diseases. I beleive we need to teach our children how to be healthy for life rather than how to be skinny children.
If they choose to become inactive after grown there is nothing a parent can do about that. This society of education teaches children about this subject at school so it's not like they don't know at that point that they need to be active and have a balanced diet.
Edited to add: proper nutrition is a balanced diet. And sports aren't necessarily for childhood alone. alot of adults play football, basketball, soccer, bowling, swimming, dancing and all manner of physical activities and have fun doing them.
The majority of adults do not play group sports. But you seem to have missed my point. The post to which I replied implied that letting children eat junk was okay as long as they are skinny. I believe that is not true and that children shoudl be taught how to eat a healthy diet and to exercise regularly. Not just in team sports, but in any way. It is all part of staying healthy. Exercise and diet. The focus should not be on weight but on health.0 -
I think your are right about the regional education because i got taught in health class and gym class and a parenting class all in high school. My children have all had health class in high school.
Ps i edited one of my ealier posts. I love a good discussion.lol0 -
Not a very nice answer. Even though I can't blame my parents for me being fat, It's a fact that our personalities are shaped by several factores. Most notably environment, upbringing and genes.
Let's be supportive of each other.
A nurturing environment will make us achieve our goals better than critisism and hateful remarks.0 -
Young or old we eat what we want. Filling the refrig with fruits, vegs, low fat whatever, Isn't going to stop school trading and just plain not eating. How healthy is not eating at all? Children are influenced more out of the house then in. It's called fitting in or finding persons like themselves. At any age we can decide when we want to control how much we eat 14 or 40. Blaming other people for our own choices is like saying we are not in control of ourselves. "Only I can hurt me, should I choice". Power, will and choice are ours to control.
LOL I guess we'll have to agree to disagree then. I think parents play a HUGE role in how there children eat. Yes, they may not eat the most nutritiousness stuff when they are around, but parents still control what goes on the dinner table and what they serve them for breakfast, snacks, etc. And when a parent teaches a child about good nutrition and teaches a kid to make healthy food choices it has lasting effects.
alot of kids can and do burn those calories off with sports. Moderation is the key and also not making blanket statements about how everyone should eat this or that. My neice eats like a horse, good food and bad and still look extremely skinny. My children are all fairly healthy, at decent weight levels, and eat good food as well as junk. The point is each child/ person is different and not everything is the parents fault. Maybe the better request would have been please pay attention to your children so you know if their having a problem with junk food, a lack of activity, or with portion sizes.
But what happens when these skinny children grow up and get jobs and stop participating in childhood sports? They have not been taught proper nutrition so they continue to eat unhealthy foods and soon are obese and develop obesity related diseases. I beleive we need to teach our children how to be healthy for life rather than how to be skinny children.
If they choose to become inactive after grown there is nothing a parent can do about that. This society of education teaches children about this subject at school so it's not like they don't know at that point that they need to be active and have a balanced diet.
Edited to add: proper nutrition is a balanced diet. And sports aren't necessarily for childhood alone. alot of adults play football, basketball, soccer, bowling, swimming, dancing and all manner of physical activities and have fun doing them.
The majority of adults do not play group sports. But you seem to have missed my point. The post to which I replied implied that letting children eat junk was okay as long as they are skinny. I believe that is not true and that children shoudl be taught how to eat a healthy diet and to exercise regularly. Not just in team sports, but in any way. It is all part of staying healthy. Exercise and diet. The focus should not be on weight but on health.
You are so right, all of the people I know who are "naturally skinny" are the most unhealthy people I know, they eat crap because they can. There is a huge difference between health and weight but people do not usually recognize the difference.0 -
Young or old we eat what we want. Filling the refrig with fruits, vegs, low fat whatever, Isn't going to stop school trading and just plain not eating. How healthy is not eating at all? Children are influenced more out of the house then in. It's called fitting in or finding persons like themselves. At any age we can decide when we want to control how much we eat 14 or 40. Blaming other people for our own choices is like saying we are not in control of ourselves. "Only I can hurt me, should I choice". Power, will and choice are ours to control.
LOL I guess we'll have to agree to disagree then. I think parents play a HUGE role in how there children eat. Yes, they may not eat the most nutritiousness stuff when they are around, but parents still control what goes on the dinner table and what they serve them for breakfast, snacks, etc. And when a parent teaches a child about good nutrition and teaches a kid to make healthy food choices it has lasting effects.
alot of kids can and do burn those calories off with sports. Moderation is the key and also not making blanket statements about how everyone should eat this or that. My neice eats like a horse, good food and bad and still look extremely skinny. My children are all fairly healthy, at decent weight levels, and eat good food as well as junk. The point is each child/ person is different and not everything is the parents fault. Maybe the better request would have been please pay attention to your children so you know if their having a problem with junk food, a lack of activity, or with portion sizes.
But what happens when these skinny children grow up and get jobs and stop participating in childhood sports? They have not been taught proper nutrition so they continue to eat unhealthy foods and soon are obese and develop obesity related diseases. I beleive we need to teach our children how to be healthy for life rather than how to be skinny children.
If they choose to become inactive after grown there is nothing a parent can do about that. This society of education teaches children about this subject at school so it's not like they don't know at that point that they need to be active and have a balanced diet.
Edited to add: proper nutrition is a balanced diet. And sports aren't necessarily for childhood alone. alot of adults play football, basketball, soccer, bowling, swimming, dancing and all manner of physical activities and have fun doing them.
The majority of adults do not play group sports. But you seem to have missed my point. The post to which I replied implied that letting children eat junk was okay as long as they are skinny. I believe that is not true and that children shoudl be taught how to eat a healthy diet and to exercise regularly. Not just in team sports, but in any way. It is all part of staying healthy. Exercise and diet. The focus should not be on weight but on health.
see earlier statement lol we're arguing the same point.
The point is each child/ person is different and not everything is the parents fault. Maybe the better request would have been please pay attention to your children so you know if their having a problem with junk food, a lack of activity, or with portion sizes.0 -
OP: I totally agree with you. I have had weight problems all my life. I do not remember my parents ever telling me to stop eating bad stuff or telling me to go outside and play. They were and are mostly good parents, but they were and are not healthy. They did not foster healthy habits in me. I have had to do that myself.
I do not really blame them, but I do wish we had been a healthier family. They now have horrible health problems that could likely have been alleviated with better habits earlier in life. It has been a major motivation for my lifestyle changes over the past year. Being healthy for my kids and teaching them good habits is something I feel very strongly about too.0 -
Well said.....lead by example.0
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I also disagree with putting overweight children on "diets" because it ruins them mentally. My sister and I have very different body types and though we're both active and healthy now, growing up we were like night and day. I was skinny and tall and she was short and chubby. My mom would try to get her to lose weight by restricting her foods and she would just sneak more. I honestly have no idea how this affected her because she seems very level-headed about it now but it made me think my mother was judging my weight from a very young age. I assumed that because my mom was bad mouthing my sister's appearance that she was talking about me, too. All through middle school and high school I "dieted" off an on by skipping meals, and concocting "cleanses" so I wouldn't be "fat like my sister."
I do think feeding children crap all day every day is just as bad as not feeding them because they are malnourished in both cases. On the other hand I think healthy choices should be emphasized and this comes from educating both the parents and the children. As for people with little access to fresh food or have less means to buy them, the SNAP program (food stamps) needs to be revised to provide basic foods like canned (low sodium) veggies & beans, frozen and fresh produce, 100% juice and bottled water, and lean meats not "meat products." No more assistance for oreos and soda, that's ridiculous.0 -
I was referring to the person that qouted the families were getting $500 a month food stamps for their families. I do understand that the price of food varies quite a bit depending on where you live. I also know that you can buy quite differetn things anywhere you live that add up to that $400 or $500 and can feed more or less people based on what you buy.
Apologies I missed what you were referencing. You have a fair point, however I would argue that the 'buying different things to add up to $400 or $500' make it very easy to lead a parent with otherwise good intentions towards more unhealthy foods. Between money for the food, time to prepare that food, and knowledge about which foods are best for you and your family, there's a lot of things arrayed against you. It's doable, there are plenty of cases where its been done, but it's not 'easy'.
I think the first step to improving this dynamic is to sponsor nutrition education in schools, with the goal of fostering a higher baseline of knowledge. The next steps would be to encourage the creation and sale of healthier foods at more affordable prices. These are 'big' tasks, but I would argue their no less a hurdle than that of the family struggling to get by trying to provide their children with consistent, healthy meals.
I don't disagree with the posts promoting parents making healthier food choices, but I think debate would be better directed at the large scale changes that could be made to make those healthy choices easier to pick over the quick junk ones. Saying 'do this to do better' doesn't go as far as 'it's now easier to do this'.0 -
I "skinny person" can hae worse cholesterol than a "fat person". So "skinny" does not equal HEALTHY. It is about eating and moving...fat or skinny to have a healthy -- Inside.0
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I worry about this too. Both my kids underweight and overweight claim that they are fat. You have to be careful about how you approach this situation. I don't want to have one daughter grow up anorexic and the other bulimic. It truly is frightening for the parents and I think that it is really crappy to dump on parents about the issue when they are trying. And I say it that way because I believe any parent using this site is most likely TRYING! That is why I have to admit that I take some offense to the OP.
I have seen parents on here justifying the crap they feed their kids. I have a sister-in-law who works out constantly and teaches many classes and eats so clean it sparkles. Her kids eat the cheap hot dogs dipped in ranch, pop-tarts, frozen pizza, and fast food for almost every meal. Just because a parent is trying to eat healthier doesn't mean they are doint the same for their kids. Sad, but true. OP wasn't saying all parents are doing this to their kids. She does have a valid point that there are many children out there whose parents are getting them off to a bad start when it comes to eating and exercise and all sorts of other habits.
The only point that I am trying to make is that unless all she is doing is ranting, then her post is wasted here, and therefore, not appropriate.0 -
Did you just start therapy? Your posts have the tone of someone who just started therapy/working through their stuff. That makes it a little less annoying.0
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I do not want to excuse the parents, however food is expensive. Before I joined this site, I didn't eat the healthiest . (MY sons are adults) Since I joined my food bill, for healthy food has doubled. and it takes a ot of time to cook it. Honestly, if I were working I couldn't do it.. I believe several factors are involved, Money, time. metabolism. There was little fast food when I grew up, no technology and children ran, ride bikes and played outside. There were few overweight children, I remember none. None of us sat in front of a video game or computer. Yes , we did eat healthier. There a many children who eat "Junk". they are involved in sports and may have a good metabolism. All my friends eat fast food, none are overweight. Sp, it may be the genes. You are correct, fast food is not nutritious, but not every child becomes overweight. I really do not think it is fair to blame being overweight solely on the parents. This is just my experience. BTW, I am 60.0
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Young or old we eat what we want. Filling the refrig with fruits, vegs, low fat whatever, Isn't going to stop school trading and just plain not eating. How healthy is not eating at all? Children are influenced more out of the house then in. It's called fitting in or finding persons like themselves. At any age we can decide when we want to control how much we eat 14 or 40. Blaming other people for our own choices is like saying we are not in control of ourselves. "Only I can hurt me, should I choice". Power, will and choice are ours to control.
LOL I guess we'll have to agree to disagree then. I think parents play a HUGE role in how there children eat. Yes, they may not eat the most nutritiousness stuff when they are around, but parents still control what goes on the dinner table and what they serve them for breakfast, snacks, etc. And when a parent teaches a child about good nutrition and teaches a kid to make healthy food choices it has lasting effects.
That's all true as far as it goes. But it's far from that simple. My mom was a stay-at-home mom who cooked a nutritious meal for us every night and we ate together. Fast food was a treat my grandmother took us out for, mostly on Christmas eve. We had soda only in the car on vacation. (I KNOW! What kind of masochist gives kids beverages on a long car trip so you have to stop every 50 miles for them to pee!?! But that's another story! LOL) Of the three of us kids, I had the healthiest diet because I like virtually everything, so I usually ate all my vegetables and such, something my siblings often passed up. We were not required to eat things we didn't like, though we were required to try things. My two siblings were stick-skinny, as were my two cousins who my mom raised for a while. I was not a "fat" kid, nor even overweight I see now from pictures of all of us at the time. I was a bit more filled out than my sibs. This alarmed my mom and grandmother and as a result I grew up believing I was HUGE. I still have that mental picture of myself as this gigantic child, so a few years ago when my mom died and we went through old pics I was amazed to see the perfectly normal-sized child I was. I'd never really looked before--until the people who had told me I was fat had died. My mom and grandmother placed my on every weight-loss diet available at the time, including "The Drinking Man's Diet," (at age 10!!!) an early low-carb diet that encouraged all kinds of unhealthy eating habits! Never was it mentioned that I should eat healthy--in fact I did that without encouragement--but I was told that no one would want me when I got older unless I was pretty, and pretty always meant very thin. (This was the 60s and early seventies when beauty was looking like "Twiggy.") As a result, this perfectly normal sized child began yo-yo dieting before she was ten. I'd do these diets they put me on, lose a few pounds I couldn't keep off because I wasn't actually overweight in the first place, then put them back on, only to be placed on another diet to repeat this. Looking over the years, I wasn't actually overweight until my thirties, where the yo-yo dieting and disability caused me to gain weight and actually become the fat girl I'd always believed I was. I quit smoking in my forties and became actually obese--for the first time--though I had believed I was profoundly obese for as long as I can remember.
Now I'm disabled and exercise like I used to enjoy isn't an option for me, and cooking isn't really an option most days either. So I eat the healthiest prepared-food I can and set my UP to get me up and away from my desk and moving a couple times an hour. I lost 80 pounds before I found MFP. In fact I found it looking for a way to restart the weight loss when after 80 pounds lost I just...stalled out. So far, I'm still stalled, but slowly I'm realizing that it's not about weight loss, it's about eating as healthy as I can manage and liking me right now--as I am. I see so many profile pics here that are shots of just a torso without head and face and I think, "Is a skinny waist what's REALLY important? BTW, I love your profile pic, Stacy, because you're looking at the camera, looking at us, and that facilitates me knowing you as a person and not as a size.
So parents are certainly the most important factor in a child's health, but it's not as simple as "eat this, don't eat that." If a child doesn't believe s/he is valuable and beautiful no matter what, all the healthy food in the world won't help.0 -
I also disagree with putting overweight children on "diets" because it ruins them mentally. My sister and I have very different body types and though we're both active and healthy now, growing up we were like night and day. I was skinny and tall and she was short and chubby. My mom would try to get her to lose weight by restricting her foods and she would just sneak more. I honestly have no idea how this affected her because she seems very level-headed about it now but it made me think my mother was judging my weight from a very young age. I assumed that because my mom was bad mouthing my sister's appearance that she was talking about me, too. All through middle school and high school I "dieted" off an on by skipping meals, and concocting "cleanses" so I wouldn't be "fat like my sister."
I do think feeding children crap all day every day is just as bad as not feeding them because they are malnourished in both cases. On the other hand I think healthy choices should be emphasized and this comes from educating both the parents and the children. As for people with little access to fresh food or have less means to buy them, the SNAP program (food stamps) needs to be revised to provide basic foods like canned (low sodium) veggies & beans, frozen and fresh produce, 100% juice and bottled water, and lean meats not "meat products." No more assistance for oreos and soda, that's ridiculous.
I agree 100% that children should not be put on diets (although there are always extreme cases of obese children but I am talking about just a regular scenario where a child eats less healthy than they should) but that does not mean that a parent cannot change their child's diet to be more healthy without putting their kids on a diet.0 -
I also would like to add that I ate healthy as my Mom and Nana cooked every day. My Nana made everything from scratch. I , however, due to time restraints did eat fast food, and rarely if ever, cooked. My sons, do eat fast food on occasion. They have never had a weight issue. They are 35 and 37. Perhaps it is in the genes.0
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When you're a kid you're not born knowing what a proper meal should look like or what a portion size should be, we only know what we are shown and taught by our parents. It all starts when we are kids. If we learn bad eating habits and are never taught right, it's something we have to struggle with and try to over come when we are adults, which makes it a thousand times more difficult.
Do you realize that your parents were not educated on nutrition....and many parents aren't this day and age as well. It's all about education and instead of assuming people just know, offering guidance and healthy ideas is much more productive than making a post that somewhat paints many parents as just not giving a damn or ignoring the issue.0 -
Exactly!Just posting that parents should be healthier doesn't help the problem. You've posed no solution to the problem other than 'parents should do better'. The problem is far more complex than that and acting like it's a simple matter is, in my opinion, a disservice.
Don't be so myopic. One doesn't have to have a mapped out strategy plan to call attention to a problem. Sometimes just starting a dialog about an issue can be helpful and plant some seeds.
And it's not like they don't know what to do already - we all did long before we took ownership of our health.
Eat less - move more!
There's the solution.:drinker:
Would that it really were that simple. Alas, it really isn't.0 -
I also disagree with putting overweight children on "diets" because it ruins them mentally.
You are correct here. Except in cases where it has become life threatening the medical recommendation is to simply begin feeding the child a normal healthy diet, not a low calorie diet, and to encourage exercise. And that is should be for the entire family, even if only one child is overweight.
Sadly, most children's hospitals in the US now offer bariatric surgery for children where obesity has been allowed to become life threatening. And many are filled to capacity.0 -
I think parents are the biggest influence in a child's diet, but in my household, it was more about body image. My mother was so afraid her 3 girls would be overweight like she was that she forbid sweets & grilled us about our weight. Not surprisingly, this led to secret binges, then guilt, then years of bulimia.
Love is key. Love your child, regardless of his/her weight. Educate your child on healthy choices & the reasons to choose them. Be a good role model in your own diet. Enjoy occasional treats with your children. Make some sweets available daily so they don't feel the need to be greedy or eat in secret. I have 2 boys & keep sweets available. They rarely choose to eat them.0 -
Did you just start therapy? Your posts have the tone of someone who just started therapy/working through their stuff. That makes it a little less annoying.
No... still annoying.0
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