Parents Please Wake Up

lizgreenhill

how can you sit here and assume that these parents need to wake up and accuse them of giving the children they love a death sentence????? some parents CANT afford to buy the expensive foods and single parents who have to work may not have the time to prepare gourmet foods you and your bodybuilder husband can afford. shame on you for making assumptions. Instead of complaining next time you see someone at the grocery store while you are stocking up on your healthy foods and they are strugglilng to buy the cheaper foods so their kids they love can survive, throw them some money and help them out so you can stop feeling the need to accuse parents of giving their kids a death sentence for money they may not have
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I agree with you. It is not always the parents fault that they can not afford to buy their kids food ,but instead of buying some types of junk food because it is cheaper isnt a good thing either. hell i used to be that parent. I have been a single mom 3 out of the 5 years my son has been alive. I have raised my son on my own with under $700 a month for bills and food it was rough and its not always the easist making "smart healthy choices" but u do with what you got. I used to take my son out atleast 2 times a week for fast food because i worked crazy shifts and didnt have the time to make him dinner. But then i changed my work shift and made sure i was home every single night to cook my son dinner to make sure he had a home cooked meal.

ALW65

You know what's great about this thread? I think it's fair to say that everyone who posted had a point. Some were more zealous than others, but they all had good thoughts about the issue and/or the problem.

Just like training ourselves to eat healthy and exercise, there are always obstacles in the way with our kids. It's the rare person who knows all the "right" stuff to do and can actually do it 24/7.

Hopefully we all keep learning, teach by example, and share what we learn with our friends and family.

(Like the Prell commercial...I told two friends, then she told two friends, and so on, and so on - You're older like me if you remember that one!)

UsedToBeHusky

I have one child who is overweight and one child who is underweight. I myself am obese. Of course, I am here to change that and in the process I have been teaching my one child to eat healthier. I actually did not even realize the portions she was eating until I started this plan. She would sit down for a snack and have 4 or 5 servings in a sitting. Anyway, when I asked the doctor about her weight, the response was more or less to increase her activity levels. It is my understanding that pediatricians generally don't put children on a diet unless they are obese. But they lecture parents if kids are over and underweight which is extremely frustrating to say the least. It is like I'm being accused of starving one and stuffing the other. It is also very difficult to deprive one of foods she likes and wants, and encourage the other to take double servings. While I can't say that I am not guilty of feeding my children junk, I am saying that it is far easier for someone without children to wag their fingers at people who do. As a previous poster said, it is not as cut and dry as telling someone to feed their kids better food.

Hambone23

also, the opposite is not the best way.
I grew up fighting over sweets with my older brother, because our mom never bought them to us, she didn't want us to get fat and ruin our teeth.
When we got them as present we would always fight about who got more...
So i became selfish and when i'm eating chocolate or something it's like i'm afraid my brother is going to eat it instead, and there will be no chocolate left for me.
This is why I gained weight.
Now that i'm older and i'm living alone, i make all the food decisions by myself, i can have all the junk food i want... but still there's that "child nature" in me.
of course, children like sweets, but making them available will maybe make children crave them less... and not care about the candy drawer.
oh and by the way, my brother is overweight now too, the reason i'm slim is that i'm watching what i eat.
so it affected both of us.

^^^ This. My mother made food off limits; it turned into binge eating when I was old enough to be on my own. Nutrition is important, but I think teaching your children moderation is probably just as important. But I have no kids. So what do I know? :}

UpEarly

Meh... I don't think being raised on healthy food necessarily means that you're going to be a fit, thin, healthy-eating adult.

I grew up in a house without soda. Meals were home cooked. We almost NEVER had fast food, unless it was some other kid's birthday party at McDonald's. Dessert was fruit. Bread was whole wheat. I ate broiled fish and salad as a toddler.

By the time I was in high school, I was sneaking junk food into my diet whenever I went out with friends. And when I got out on my own , I completely discontinued eating the way I was 'taught' because junk food was faster, easier and cheaper. I totally rebelled against every single one of my nutritionist mother's lessons. :-)

I've learned on my own to do what works for me - which is a mix of mostly healthy homemade food, with a moderate amount of junk thrown in to keep me from feeling deprived.

annameier8706

I agree. I am constantly shocked at Wal Mart at how many children (under 5) I see drinking soda. This last week I saw a two year old drinking soda out of a baby bottle. This bothers for me than just the soda though. It's all about healthy choices, and moderation. Yes I give my kids candy and desserts. Yes I let my kids eat chips and pizza and fast food. But less than once a week. Soda though, they will not have soda until they are well over 5. There is no reason a child can't be healthy with 100% juice drinks, water, and milk.

bcattoes

Of course there are many factors that play into this, and the reasons for each family to choose the foods they do. There are people that are 'stuck'. They don't have the time and money for shopping, preparing, etc. The 'solutions' for these families are definitely more in depth than saying wake up and change. There are many families though that either don't know better or don't care about what they are eating and feeding their children. There is some denial in many families too I think. Then there is how the foods and drinks are packaged and marketed. When high calorie sugary drinks are being marketed as healthy, and all sorts of boxed foods are labeled whole grain and low fat, etc (think children's high sugar cereal, crackers, snacks, etc). Children do develop life long habits based on how they grow up in their families. Regardless if you are 18 or 40 and out of your parents' house, the effects of your childhood are with you forever. What you do with that is up to you, but it will always influence you, like it or not.

I agree that many are in denial. They purposely refuse to believe that they are teaching their kids unhealthy habits and making them ill because they are too lazy to do the right things. Anyone that says they don't have the time and money to shop and prepare a healthy meal is really just saying I don't have time and money to raise my children properly. And their is a very small minority for which not have the $ to feed their children is true, but in those cases the children will be thin from not getting enough to eat. They are not eating fast food, because no matter how much people say it's cheaper, it is not. Most who say this still have cable, and game systems, and cell phones and all the other uneccesary trappings and the trust is that they are just too addicted to unhealthy food themselves or too lazy to prepare healthy meals. Or both.

wychwych

I am a product of my upbringing. I was fed good wholesome old fashioned food.....and was expected to clear my plate. We didn't eat 'junk' food but some of the things we did eat where high fat. We ate lots of fruit and veg but as a large family it was sometimes first come first served so we used to dig into mum's fantastic pies and puddings even when we weren't hungry so that we didn't miss out. As I reached 10 or 11years old, mum realising that I was way to heavy started to go the other way........trying to enforce really strict diets on me. I rebelled and began secret eating. I was bullied and felt that I could never meet the grade either in the eyes of my parents or my peers.
Now as a mum myself, I have always fed my daughter a healthy home-cooked diet. Nothing is excluded and she is not expected to clear her plate. We occasionally eat junk food, but it is occasionally. At a similar age to when my problems began my daughter began to put on a little weight. We had a chat and she said it was worrying her a little. I refused to put her on a diet but she decided herself to eat healthier things like fruit as snacks. She still eats crisps and chocolate like any other teen but she is now a happy healthy 15 year old who is a normal weight and is able to wear what she wants...... if anything the clothes she had last year are now too little loose on her.
It would be easy to blame my mum for my weight problems and while she did have a role to play, ultimately my weight problem is down to me.
It is easy to be critical of other people and the choices they make. I can cook and although I am on a low income I able to make healthy meals within my budget. Too many people I know can't cook, so junk food, processed food and ready meals are their only option as they are too scared to experiment. I feel that it is only through accepting my part in the problem that I can move forward.

calliope_music

what about the parents that don't have access to a grocery store? or, if there's one close by, they have to take their 5 kids under the age of 10 on the bus (which costs money) and transfer a few times? or, if there's no money for the bus, they have to walk 3 miles in the snow with their kids because there's no babysitter? or, if there's a babysitter available, how are they going to pay for it when they don't have a job and are on food stamps?

perhaps there's not a grocery store nearby, but a convenience store that sells canned junk? that's where most of the people that i work with do their GROCERY shopping.

junk food keeps kids fuller longer. for me, a big mac meal is going to keep me fuller than a piece of fish and some vegetables. parents buy their kids junk food in the area i work with BECAUSE of this. if they have a set amount of food stamps - let's say 500 a month, because that seems to be the average around my area for a family of 5 (an adult and 4 kids) - junk food is simply going to fill them up longer. many of the families i work with, who are absolutely destitute - once that food stamp money is gone, that's it. i had a mother tell me she was going to go sell plasma to try to get her child a nice Christmas dinner. my hubby and i easily spend 400 a month on food for the two of us, and we mainly buy generics and on sale.

and activity, sure. what about the gangs that shoot people? around here, that's pretty normal. or people who just mug you on the street. there are rec centers, but they cost money to enroll. most parents that i work with don't want their kids outside unless they're home.

education is key here. parents simply need to be educated on the choices for their kids, and access to nutritious foods needs to be improved, particularly in urban areas. and calling this child abuse? no. i work with kids who have been raped by their fathers, had the crap beaten out of them, neglected, been crack babies, etc. that's abuse. this is simply lack of education and lack of access to nutritious foods. unless you've been in this situation (maybe you have, i was just too upset to read through the whole thing) don't bother calling it abuse.

/gets off soapbox

eliz_in_pink

Stacy, I heart you for this post.

I'm a step-parent and only have every other weekend to undo what is being put into my step-daughter's body when we aren't with her... She is nearing 10 (December 30th) and her mom feeds her everything under the sun that isn't healthy (whole cans of Spaghetti-Os, fast foods, and JUNK.. just straight JUNK!) She is one of the 'chunky' kids in her class because her mother refuses to learn to cook. Troy, my fiance, is an amazing cook and always cooks healthy when we have a meal. My step-daughter has decided that she wants to be more like me and we have healthy snacks (fruits & veggies) and she has opted for healthier meals too or smaller portions when she is with us.. This is not something we make her do, but at 10 years old she knows that she can make most of her own decisions when it comes to eating when we give her options.

She gets pumped full of the other 'crap' and she knows she is one of the heaviest in her class. It made her sad when we went shopping and we could fit into the same jeans.. I remember feeling like her. I feel for her. I don't make her feel bad, though. She knows that when she is at daddy's house we will eat healthy and eat the way she wants to. We don't force her to eat healthy or what-not. She even exercised with me on Saturday. What a trooper she is, I didn't pressure her into working out. While I want her to be healthy, the last thing I want to do is make her feel bad because of the choices her mother makes through the week for her.

My wish for her is that her mother would learn how to cook healthier and eat healthier, as even her mother (and this is not be being spiteful) has put on about 50-75 pounds over the past year. I want them both to live long, happy, healthy lives.

Sallycinnimon

It's disgusting. These obese little underachievers have already had their self-esteem crushed, and they'll battle the damaging results the rest of their lives.

Not to mention this generation of kids are projected to die before their parents due to an unhealthy lifestyle and obesity.

d2footballJRC

This is a topic you have to be careful about as well, because too crazy and you go the other way. My wife had an eating disorder growing up and her family always preached healthy meals. It comes down to education.

baypathgradLyns

The reason I woke up from this vicious cycle of unhealthy lifestyle was because I became a father. As soon as my beautiful daughter was born something clicked in me that I needed to show her the right way to eat and avoid being another statistic on the whole "America is obese" category. I am not a healthy 151 pounds (down from 205) and I haven't felt better in my life.
It is all thanks to my lovely daughter: Daddy loves you!!!

awww that is so sweet!!!

eellis2000

Young or old we eat what we want. Filling the refrig with fruits, vegs, low fat whatever, Isn't going to stop school trading and just plain not eating. How healthy is not eating at all? Children are influenced more out of the house then in. It's called fitting in or finding persons like themselves. At any age we can decide when we want to control how much we eat 14 or 40. Blaming other people for our own choices is like saying we are not in control of ourselves. "Only I can hurt me, should I choice". Power, will and choice are ours to control.

LOL I guess we'll have to agree to disagree then. I think parents play a HUGE role in how there children eat. Yes, they may not eat the most nutritiousness stuff when they are around, but parents still control what goes on the dinner table and what they serve them for breakfast, snacks, etc. And when a parent teaches a child about good nutrition and teaches a kid to make healthy food choices it has lasting effects.

alot of kids can and do burn those calories off with sports. Moderation is the key and also not making blanket statements about how everyone should eat this or that. My neice eats like a horse, good food and bad and still look extremely skinny. My children are all fairly healthy, at decent weight levels, and eat good food as well as junk. The point is each child/ person is different and not everything is the parents fault. Maybe the better request would have been please pay attention to your children so you know if their having a problem with junk food, a lack of activity, or with portion sizes.

bcattoes

Fast food is cheaper than cooking at home if you have 2 or less people to feed, 2 Double Cheeseburgers and 2 Fries are only $4, or used to be. not defending anyone, just saying.

it would cost less than $4 to make 2 cheeseburgers at home, and they could have less fat, more veggie toppings, and the burgers would be thicker. Sure, you'd have leftover buns which can be frozen for later, and you'd have leftover cheese to use in other dishes, but the cost of just those 2 burgers and fries would be less.

And you could subtract the gas $ spent driving to get the fast food, unless you never go to the grocery store for other things, but you know you do.

Seriously you can make burgers for $4? Bloody hell our food is damn expensive on this side, decent patties would cost you $7.5 and that excludes the toppings, buns and basting

Yes. Lean ground beef is about $4 a lb. So $2 for meat for 2 quarter lb burgers.

But unless you have a coupon or there is a special running you will not get a 2 fast food burgers and fries for $4. And if you start talking about decent sized burgers in a restaurant, well then you are talking closer to $20.

myofibril

I think labelling food which is essentially calorie dense but nutrient deficient ("junk food") as a "treat" or for "special" occasions is not the best idea in the world because it gives it an artificially elevated status. Then to say to children they can only have that type of food if they are "good" thereby linking food which in itself is a poor choice to self worth is just a non starter.

For a child to have a good relationship with food is to have nothing off the menu but for them to gain an appreciation that certain foods make up the bulk of their diet (nutrient dense, whole foods) whilst others make up the minority if they wish to have it.

Funnily enough I think most kids would actually shy away from junk food if they were exposed to good cooking at an early age.

Sallycinnimon

J2footballJRC, So true. It really is a fine line. I have that same pic on my tumblr.

fiberartist219

I have one child who is overweight and one child who is underweight. I myself am obese. Of course, I am here to change that and in the process I have been teaching my one child to eat healthier. I actually did not even realize the portions she was eating until I started this plan. She would sit down for a snack and have 4 or 5 servings in a sitting. Anyway, when I asked the doctor about her weight, the response was more or less to increase her activity levels. It is my understanding that pediatricians generally don't put children on a diet unless they are obese. But they lecture parents if kids are over and underweight which is extremely frustrating to say the least. It is like I'm being accused of starving one and stuffing the other. It is also very difficult to deprive one of foods she likes and wants, and encourage the other to take double servings. While I can't say that I am not guilty of feeding my children junk, I am saying that it is far easier for someone without children to wag their fingers at people who do. As a previous poster said, it is not as cut and dry as telling someone to feed their kids better food.

I was a low weight for most of my childhood, and I ate everything I wanted to, whether it was good, bad, or ugly.

I strongly believe that activity has a huge part of the childhood obesity puzzle. I was a skinny kid and now I'm a fat adult, but a little muscle could have solved both problems.

I also believe that there is nothing more dangerous about today's society than when I grew up in the 80's and 90's. There was a kid at my elementary school that was kidnapped and killed, but we still went outside to play. The biggest danger to kids is inactivity, not the bad man down the street. Yes, you do want to know where your kids are and who they are with, but letting them waste away in front of a video game, computer, or cell phone is probably worse for their health than walking home from the bus stop, walking to a friends house, or even walking to the ice cream parlor.

Of course, I am not a parent, so it is not my place to tell parents how to raise their kids. I think my mom did a wonderful job of teaching me about making good choices with food, but I do wish that I could have gone back in time and played in a sport or at least taken gym class a little more seriously.

No one is perfect though. Since I didn't learn how to build muscle as a kid, there is nothing stopping me from learning it now.

bcattoes

Young or old we eat what we want. Filling the refrig with fruits, vegs, low fat whatever, Isn't going to stop school trading and just plain not eating. How healthy is not eating at all? Children are influenced more out of the house then in. It's called fitting in or finding persons like themselves. At any age we can decide when we want to control how much we eat 14 or 40. Blaming other people for our own choices is like saying we are not in control of ourselves. "Only I can hurt me, should I choice". Power, will and choice are ours to control.

LOL I guess we'll have to agree to disagree then. I think parents play a HUGE role in how there children eat. Yes, they may not eat the most nutritiousness stuff when they are around, but parents still control what goes on the dinner table and what they serve them for breakfast, snacks, etc. And when a parent teaches a child about good nutrition and teaches a kid to make healthy food choices it has lasting effects.

alot of kids can and do burn those calories off with sports. Moderation is the key and also not making blanket statements about how everyone should eat this or that. My neice eats like a horse, good food and bad and still look extremely skinny. My children are all fairly healthy, at decent weight levels, and eat good food as well as junk. The point is each child/ person is different and not everything is the parents fault. Maybe the better request would have been please pay attention to your children so you know if their having a problem with junk food, a lack of activity, or with portion sizes.

But what happens when these skinny children grow up and get jobs and stop participating in childhood sports? They have not been taught proper nutrition so they continue to eat unhealthy foods and soon are obese and develop obesity related diseases. I beleive we need to teach our children how to be healthy for life rather than how to be skinny children.

fisherlassie

I agree with you Stacy. Good for you, changing your life!