Parents Please Wake Up

FellowStriver

I don't understand what some parents are thinking when they buy their kids fast food nearly every day and give them stuff like pizza, chips, candy, and coke on a regular basis. Those things should be "treats" that are had only every once in a while. So many families feed their children junk food every day, and that is making generation after generation of obese people. I was 250 lbs by the time I was in jr high and 300 lbs by the time I was in high school. When you're a kid you're not born knowing what a proper meal should look like or what a portion size should be, we only know what we are shown and taught by our parents. It all starts when we are kids. If we learn bad eating habits and are never taught right, it's something we have to struggle with and try to over come when we are adults, which makes it a thousand times more difficult.

I've been struggling for years to undo the damage that my upbringing has done to my body as well as my mind. I have a very long way to go and it's extremely hard, but I'm doing it. And it pisses me off to see parents out there doing the same thing to their kids that my parents did to me. And it makes me want to shake their parents and scream - WAKE UP! Can’t you see what you’re DOING? Because when I look in the mirror at the 340 lb woman staring back at me I'm looking at THEIR future. And that breaks my heart.

If you’re a parent I’m begging you, BEGGING you, to put your foot down and turn things around for your children. YOU are the one shaping your child’s body and mind. You have control over what goes in your shopping cart and what goes on your table. You’re the parent. Love them enough to make the right choices for them.

I know I'm probably going to get flamed for this post, but I don't care. If just one parent reads this post and decides to make healthier choices for their family then it's worth it.

Agree with the heart and wisdom behind what you are saying.

it's just that I hear self-righteousness in your post and perhaps some blaming on your parents. (I am sure your parents did the very best they could, and it seems like you are angry with them. I think it would be wise to know that you are making mistakes with your kids that you will want them to be forgiving of you with later on! I know I am and I am tortured over the fear of regretting and hurting them. Some things are just generational. We will have some mistakes that are specific to our generation that we are not aware of right now.

I think you may tune some people out to what you are saying. It maybe more effective to have a coaching attitude instead. Something like 'Here's something I have developed a conviction about, anyone else struggle with this?'

Nos150

Know what, I was over feed as a child too (my mother still tries to do it with my kid) but at what point to you stop blaming this on other people?

don’t get me wrong right now I am trying to teach myself how to properly eat because I was not show how as a child. But if I continue to say that it’s my mother’s fault that I am like this, then I might as well go sit on the couch again.

Although she didn’t give me the proper education, there are others out there that did. (You basically have to be living under a rock not to know child obesity the highest it has ever been) by the time that I was 15 my mother was not spoon feeding me anymore. I knew that the amount and what I was eating was not healthy. And I knew that exercise was good. Yet I continued as I always did.

Yes I know that it’s hard to change your thinking when that is what you were taught from the start. But what is worse not knowing that you are doing wrong. Or know that you are doing wrong and continue to do it anyway?

Now saying that, the op is still right. In this day and age we KNOW better then to feed that crap to our kids. . We know that kids (well everyone) needs at lest one hour of physical activity every day. And yet we still make excuses and that is just a whole bunch of BS to me!

vim_n_vigor

what about the parents that don't have access to a grocery store? or, if there's one close by, they have to take their 5 kids under the age of 10 on the bus (which costs money) and transfer a few times? or, if there's no money for the bus, they have to walk 3 miles in the snow with their kids because there's no babysitter? or, if there's a babysitter available, how are they going to pay for it when they don't have a job and are on food stamps?

perhaps there's not a grocery store nearby, but a convenience store that sells canned junk? that's where most of the people that i work with do their GROCERY shopping.

junk food keeps kids fuller longer. for me, a big mac meal is going to keep me fuller than a piece of fish and some vegetables. parents buy their kids junk food in the area i work with BECAUSE of this. if they have a set amount of food stamps - let's say 500 a month, because that seems to be the average around my area for a family of 5 (an adult and 4 kids) - junk food is simply going to fill them up longer. many of the families i work with, who are absolutely destitute - once that food stamp money is gone, that's it. i had a mother tell me she was going to go sell plasma to try to get her child a nice Christmas dinner. my hubby and i easily spend 400 a month on food for the two of us, and we mainly buy generics and on sale.

and activity, sure. what about the gangs that shoot people? around here, that's pretty normal. or people who just mug you on the street. there are rec centers, but they cost money to enroll. most parents that i work with don't want their kids outside unless they're home.

education is key here. parents simply need to be educated on the choices for their kids, and access to nutritious foods needs to be improved, particularly in urban areas. and calling this child abuse? no. i work with kids who have been raped by their fathers, had the crap beaten out of them, neglected, been crack babies, etc. that's abuse. this is simply lack of education and lack of access to nutritious foods. unless you've been in this situation (maybe you have, i was just too upset to read through the whole thing) don't bother calling it abuse.

/gets off soapbox

You can feed a family of 5 very well on $500. Our budget for 4 people for a month is $500, but that includes our food, cleaning supplies, toiletries, alcohol, and dog food. My family is not going hungry, there is plenty of food in the house for the humans and animals. I do get the point that they can't phsyically get to a decent store - I have gone to the food desert stores - disgusting is the only way I can describe it.

christibear

I love how people blame so much on there child hood when they have been out of it for so long. If you are over 18 and you are on this site worry about yourself take responsiblity for your own actions and move on

I'm sorry but not its not that simple, I wish it were but its not. I think like anything that has long term affects on children such as abuse or neglect the way you are raised to eat has a HUGE impact on how you approach food as an adult. I can take responsibility for how I eat but not how I feel about food however the two are deeply connected. I was raised to eat crap, soda, junk food, the worst processed foods, I do not remember vegetables in our home except for corn. I also come from a family of emotional eaters. These things have affect how I approach food and always will, luckily I love the taste of the healthy foods that I eat but that does not change that I want to eat my emotions or that I am addicted to junk food. Some bad habits are learned as children there is just no getting around it.

And now that I am getting healthy I want my parents to get healthy and it breaks my heart because my father has so many diet related health problems. I do worry about them but I also know I cannot change them, but I would be stupid to not realize that my unhealthy relationship with food goes back to them.

Veganniee

Aren't you preaching to the choir??

Exactly what I was thinking. It's a good discussion subject and we all know about eating less/eating better quality and exercising more. We are already converted. Although I don't think it will go down too well with the parents that need to be educated!

Jaymefirst

bump.

UsedToBeHusky

This is a topic you have to be careful about as well, because too crazy and you go the other way. My wife had an eating disorder growing up and her family always preached healthy meals. It comes down to education.

I worry about this too. Both my kids underweight and overweight claim that they are fat. You have to be careful about how you approach this situation. I don't want to have one daughter grow up anorexic and the other bulimic. It truly is frightening for the parents and I think that it is really crappy to dump on parents about the issue when they are trying. And I say it that way because I believe any parent using this site is most likely TRYING! That is why I have to admit that I take some offense to the OP.

jdhosier

I love how people blame so much on there child hood when they have been out of it for so long. If you are over 18 and you are on this site worry about yourself take responsiblity for your own actions and move on

I agree completely. It is a shame what many parents do to their kids with bad and lazy food options. At some point, the kid grows up and must be responsible for their own decisions.

flowerpower381

I agree, as parents, it's our job to teach our children moderation. Children learn habits in childhood and carry it on through their lives. I also see that their is a serious lack of education about nutrition. I wish they would make it mandatory for high schoolers to take nutrition classes and have free/low cost classes offered to pregnant women so they have the opportunity to have a healthier start. Even many thin people eat unhealthy and don't get the nutrients they need.

flowerpower381

Double post

ArroganceInStep

Just posting that parents should be healthier doesn't help the problem. You've posed no solution to the problem other than 'parents should do better'. The problem is far more complex than that and acting like it's a simple matter is, in my opinion, a disservice.

Don't be so myopic. One doesn't have to have a mapped out strategy plan to call attention to a problem. Sometimes just starting a dialog about an issue can be helpful and plant some seeds.

Exactly!
And it's not like they don't know what to do already - we all did long before we took ownership of our health.
Eat less - move more!

There's the solution.:drinker:

While at the end of the day it is that basic...there's so much more too it than that and it's by no means easy.

christibear

Although you make some very good points, I think a lot of the problem is the fact that many parents are struggling financially. I am one of them. A single mom, laid off, no food stamps to rely on like some others I am trying to live off of what I have saved. So at times me and my two year old son eat hotdogs mixed with pork n beans and broccoli on the side, less than a three dollar meal for several days b/c my budget is so tight. Even fast foods, sometimes we can split a double cheeseburger and small fries for two bucks. I'd love to have a lot of money to be able to cook and afford fresh fruits and veggies, chicken breast (it's like six bucks a bag!) etc. but for now I know we are eating high sodium foods, but we drink plenty of water and pray that my 25 dollar budget per week can increase soon!

This is just a suggestion but what about instead of canned beans or vegetables which can have sodium, frozen, I am not sure where you live but around here a cheap Walmart bag of cauliflower costs like $1 and it lasts multiple meals. Even a huge frozen bag of veggies costs 8 dollars but its so big it lasts me and my husband 2 weeks. Also oatmeal, just trying to be helpful because my husband and I are college students and we also try to keep our grocery budget down.

AH2013

I feel really sad when I see my nieces and nephews munching on so many sweets. My younger sister is an amazing mother, one of those mothers who was born just to have kids and be an incredible loving person. The only thing that bothers me is that she lets her kids eat whatever they want, not all the time, but a lot of time. She cooks a very healthy meal for them each night and for little kids they have quite sophisticated tastes but I hear her sometimes laughing that her 2 year old son broke into the biscuit cupboard and ate an entire packet of biscuits or cakes, or they're having chocolate at 10am!

When I grew up my folkes always cooked us great meals. My parents had a restaurant and my dad was a chef and we ate fantastically well.....very, very rarely did we have junk food.......and sweets? Well, my siblings and I always laugh about how my Dad used to buy a couple of mars bars and put them in the freezer then divide them into 5 and that was what we were allowed once a week at weekends. Still LOVE a frozen mars bar. But it was the late 70's early 80's, there was a recession on and nobody had money for junk food. I used to go to school with freshly baked bread sandwiches, mushroom & wild garlic soup, sunflower seeds etc.... sounds awesome now but then it was so uncool and I desperately wanted the lunchboxes my friends had with cool biscuits in them and cartons of juice. My parents struggled financially as there was 5 of us but we always ate fresh food cooked from scratch no matter how tight money was!

However, having that upbringing didn't stop me ruining myself over the years. None of my siblings are overweight, in fact they are all either slim or average. Also, my uncle's little girl is about 7 years old and very rarely is allowed chocolate or biscuits and each time I have looked after her she will do whatever she can to pack as much chocolate or sweets into her gob as possible. So I don't necessarily think the link is that cut and dried to what parents give their kids. I think instead they should be educated both at home and school about why you should eat healthy and what all that junk will do to your body. In an ideal world..............

vim_n_vigor

I worry about this too. Both my kids underweight and overweight claim that they are fat. You have to be careful about how you approach this situation. I don't want to have one daughter grow up anorexic and the other bulimic. It truly is frightening for the parents and I think that it is really crappy to dump on parents about the issue when they are trying. And I say it that way because I believe any parent using this site is most likely TRYING! That is why I have to admit that I take some offense to the OP.

I have seen parents on here justifying the crap they feed their kids. I have a sister-in-law who works out constantly and teaches many classes and eats so clean it sparkles. Her kids eat the cheap hot dogs dipped in ranch, pop-tarts, frozen pizza, and fast food for almost every meal. Just because a parent is trying to eat healthier doesn't mean they are doint the same for their kids. Sad, but true. OP wasn't saying all parents are doing this to their kids. She does have a valid point that there are many children out there whose parents are getting them off to a bad start when it comes to eating and exercise and all sorts of other habits.

daffodilsoup

People will make their own decision no matter what, I think. My parents did their best with teaching me good eating habits - instead, I hid in the closet and ate candy because I didn't want anyone to know. Parents can only do their best, but ultimately their kids will make their own choices.

myofibril

But what happens when these skinny children grow up and get jobs and stop participating in childhood sports? They have not been taught proper nutrition so they continue to eat unhealthy foods and soon are obese and develop obesity related diseases. I beleive we need to teach our children how to be healthy for life rather than how to be skinny children.

Exactly. Our access to cheap, calorie dense, nutritionally deficient food is greater than it has ever been making over eating incredibly easy.

A healthy lifestyle will incorporate exercise as well as good diet obviously but the focus really should be diet.

cassiemk85

I am blown away that there has been ANY negative responses to this blog! All this girl is trying to tell you is that you shouldnt feed your children fast food all the time as a regular part of their diet. Enough said.

jsjaclark

It is complex but I think parents have a great deal of influence although every child is different. My son would rather snack on carrots and celery but my daughter goes for the chips (but she will eat the celery if it is out). I just limit the amount of "junk" that I buy - the more that it is around, the more they will eat it.

eellis2000

Young or old we eat what we want. Filling the refrig with fruits, vegs, low fat whatever, Isn't going to stop school trading and just plain not eating. How healthy is not eating at all? Children are influenced more out of the house then in. It's called fitting in or finding persons like themselves. At any age we can decide when we want to control how much we eat 14 or 40. Blaming other people for our own choices is like saying we are not in control of ourselves. "Only I can hurt me, should I choice". Power, will and choice are ours to control.

LOL I guess we'll have to agree to disagree then. I think parents play a HUGE role in how there children eat. Yes, they may not eat the most nutritiousness stuff when they are around, but parents still control what goes on the dinner table and what they serve them for breakfast, snacks, etc. And when a parent teaches a child about good nutrition and teaches a kid to make healthy food choices it has lasting effects.

alot of kids can and do burn those calories off with sports. Moderation is the key and also not making blanket statements about how everyone should eat this or that. My neice eats like a horse, good food and bad and still look extremely skinny. My children are all fairly healthy, at decent weight levels, and eat good food as well as junk. The point is each child/ person is different and not everything is the parents fault. Maybe the better request would have been please pay attention to your children so you know if their having a problem with junk food, a lack of activity, or with portion sizes.

But what happens when these skinny children grow up and get jobs and stop participating in childhood sports? They have not been taught proper nutrition so they continue to eat unhealthy foods and soon are obese and develop obesity related diseases. I beleive we need to teach our children how to be healthy for life rather than how to be skinny children.

If they choose to become inactive after grown there is nothing a parent can do about that. This society of education teaches children about this subject at school so it's not like they don't know at that point that they need to be active and have a balanced diet.

Edited to add: proper nutrition is a balanced diet. And sports aren't necessarily for childhood alone. alot of adults play football, basketball, soccer, bowling, swimming, dancing and all manner of physical activities and have fun doing them.

LorinaLynn

I'm sure there are some people who literally have no one else in their life, but most people don't exist in a bubble. They have family or friends they could count on to watch the kids for an hour once a week while they go for groceries, and return the favor when the other person needs to go somewhere. Or stop on the way home from work if they have a job, or go while the kids are at school if they don't. And unless McDonalds is literally across the street from their house, I'm sure it's easier to go for groceries once a week, even with all the kids in tow, than to lug them all to a restaurant for every meal.