Quit telling people to "suck it up"

Elixandra

WOW. The first response reminded me why I never bother to come on these boards anymore!

MOCKING her? Really? I love how you have expressed your disagreement with her statement.

I don't care which way you believe but outright MOCKING HER?

Immature bullsh|t.


OP: I'm with you. I take encouragement with a pat on the back better than a militaristic GTFO it.

And with that, I'm back off these stupid boards.
... Except I came in to edit and ended up reading more of the same.

MFP years ago had caring individuals invested in helping each other, supporting each other.
Today is appears to be full of trolls.

*smdh*

^^ This for sure.

infamousmk

Resolution: If you need to be handled with kid gloves, only friend people that coddle, and maybe a therapist... If you take well to being told the honest truth from people you trust, friend people that don't fvck around.

Scott613

[/url] WTG everybody [/url] Flowers, rainbows, kittens, and puppies for everybody!

BobbyClerici

In an open forum where there is a bunch of pathetic sniveling, expect those who have it together might say "suck it up" - reach down and take ownership of your issues.

I suppose you could create a closed group with members that all coddle each other instead of trying to get you to face your problems and assume responsibility for your life.

Me? I need a good slap in the face with reality from time to time.

So please! If anybody hears me crying the blues and moaning about life, tell me to...SUCK IT UP!

Phoenix_Rising

Immature bullsh|t.

Reported for name calling!

Eat it.
Thanks for the heads up there, tattle tale.

SimplyShanRunning

You have to know who you're talking to and what works for them.

Yup, so if you don't know them, how do you know which they want/need?

You should get to know them before telling them to stop whining, or if they want cheese.

So then why post this thread??? You knew you would get this reaction! Perhaps you would be better in a private group....if your feelings are hurt so easily.....Only a suggestion :flowerforyou:

WarriorMom2012

In my opinion, the coddling is what is harming people. This is a site for adults. You must be 18 to join. As an adult, having "friends" help make excuses for your lack of determination doesn't help.

Me: I was in a bad mood so I ate an entire bag of cookies.
You: That's ok. I understand. Do better next time.
DOES NOT WORK!

Me: I was in a bad mood so I ate an entire bag of cookies.
You: Everyone has bad days. Maybe if you exercised, it would help get you out of your bad mood. Not having cookies in the house will keep you from eating the entire bag. Get off your *kitten* girl and go for a walk. You'll feel better about your decisions.
DOES WORK!!

See the difference there. When my kids fall down and start crying, the first question we ask is "Are you hurt or are you injured?". If they answer that they are hurt, the response we give them is to brush it off, suck it up and go play. They quit crying and don't end up being victims.

Just my two cents :flowerforyou:

TDGee

People are motivated by different things. Some respond best to gentle words, while others need a kick in the *kitten*. Personally, the overly sweet encouraging reminds me of, "It's okay, have a cookie" Doesn't help much.
Life is hard and all bleeding stops eventually.

WarriorMom2012

Immature bullsh|t.

Reported for name calling!

Eat it.
Thanks for the heads up there, tattle tale.

I thought you left?

stcar

WOW. The first response reminded me why I never bother to come on these boards anymore!

MOCKING her? Really? I love how you have expressed your disagreement with her statement.

I don't care which way you believe but outright MOCKING HER?

Immature bullsh|t.


OP: I'm with you. I take encouragement with a pat on the back better than a militaristic GTFO it.

And with that, I'm back off these stupid boards.
... Except I came in to edit and ended up reading more of the same.

MFP years ago had caring individuals invested in helping each other, supporting each other.
Today is appears to be full of trolls.

*smdh*

I agree, some people are just bullies by nature.

Troll

Honestly, for me, the "Awesome for trying! WTG!" gets irritating. It's like....i did A SINGLE CURL and i get a gold star? No. I have a really hard time feeling sorry for people who whine. Not losing weight? Maybe get off the computer and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT instead of asking for pity. Durh.

Elixandra

[/url] WTG everybody [/url] Flowers, rainbows, kittens, and puppies for everybody!

Wooo puppy breath.

CaptainGordo

Buck up, suck it up, get over yourself and just do it...

Anyone can say that. I like to flex my wordsmithing muscles.

MB_Positif

You know, I love MFP because I see so much support, and then every now and then you get a hard *kitten* telling people to get over their problems, suck it up, and lose weight. While they're probably telling the bitter truth, they should know it's not that simple, and it's not that nice.

First, not trying at all to be a hard *kitten*, I just want to say that I spent my first months on here whining about how I couldn't fit in consistent exercise, etc. A friend messaged me telling me in a kind, but hard *kitten* way that she didn't think I was ready to take this journey. That was when my switch flipped...boy did I want to prove her wrong! So we all respond differently and of course we would prefer encouragement over being told to suck it up, but most of us are here for results and I appreciate it no matter which way the support comes!

Helenatrandom

I know what you mean. I've seen those who complain about too many TOM posts.. .(Uh... yeah, your period CHANGES as you get older, and it can change when you change habits, and some of us need to ask these things...) I've seen people suggest that when we say we are hypothyroid, we are just making excuses.. (uh... it DOES affect our metabolism, and it can be very discouraging.)
That said, we do have to learn how to shrug and recognize that there are ignorant people everywhere, including here. I avoid them and/or shrug them off in real life, so why engage them and take things personally here?
We can't change how others engage with us, only how we engage with them.

lexibelk

You have to know who you're talking to and what works for them.

Yup, so if you don't know them, how do you know which they want/need?

You should get to know them before telling them to stop whining, or if they want cheese.

So then why post this thread??? You knew you would get this reaction! Perhaps you would be better in a private group....if your feelings are hurt so easily.....Only a suggestion :flowerforyou:

I posted this thread to prove a point, not looking for sympathy. And I know there's a point where people need to be told to suck it up, but unless you know what's going on with them, it's not kind, and doesn't help. That's why.

Thomasm198

Tuffjourney

Would you care for some cheese??

Yes please! :ohwell:

jdhosier

I was at a men's conference (please don't take offense, ladies) and the keynote speaker got up for the very first general session and the first words out of his mouth were, "Life is not fair. Get over it!" All the men in the room busted out laughing.

You really gotta know your audience. The same sentence would have caused stunned silence at some other types of conferences.

I have friends here that I feel it is okay to be a little bit of a hard *kitten* with. I have other friends that I take a much gentler approach with. Both ways of motivating are valid. I hope both type of friends understand that I really want to help them reach their goals. But, you really gotta know your audience. If I know that someone cares for me and my progress, I am more than willing to take an *kitten*-chewing from them. They are trying to help me. If I am friends with someone who is not serious about what they are doing here, then I have to consider whether that is a person I want to be friends with here.

We all go through ups and downs. We all struggle. Feelings will be hurt, unfortunately. People really need to develop a thicker skin and learn to take things with a grain of salt. Dare I say it? People need to grow up and understand that one size does not fit all when it comes to encouragement.

If you don't like someone's style of encouragement, then unfriend them. If you don't like their responses in the forums, then ignore them. If they are abusive, then report them. Please, please, please stop whining about them

My $.02

Helenatrandom

BTW, my profile pic isn't directed at you or this post! I was feeling "impish" the day I took it and posted. I guess I still do.