Quit telling people to "suck it up"
Replies
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You know, I love MFP because I see so much support, and then every now and then you get a hard *kitten* telling people to get over their problems, suck it up, and lose weight. While they're probably telling the bitter truth, they should know it's not that simple, and it's not that nice.
People have baggage, and the ones who carry it on their tummies or hips are here to try and get better: mentally, physically, and maybe spiritually. No one is perfect, and they are coming to MFP to try and garner support that they may or may not be getting in their home life. Managing weight is not easy for everyone, and if it was, there would be no MFP to begin with!
So when you say things to these people like: buck up, suck it up, get over yourself and just do it..... it doesn't help.
But if you say: you can do it, yes you can, hang in there.... it helps.
I'm sure this has been said before, sorry if it's repetitive, but I've seen it too much in the forums and it's been bothering me a lot.
I'm with you, I understand where you're coming from. I wouldn't tell anyone that, but I'm not necessarily opposed to someone being told that just depends on the individual's post. I lean more to being nice though.0 -
Thank heaven my forebears "sucked it up" and crossed oceans to find freedom, won wars of independence, crossed plains on foot to build new lives in foreign wilderness -- so that I could enjoy what I have today.
"Sucking it up" and not looking for excuses or coddling works.0 -
As a trainer, I usually have to tell them to "buck up" and "suck it up". Let's face it, if you really can't do it, you won't. If you don't think you can and someone shows you that you really can, it's much easier to believe rather than hearing "yes you can". When I've heard people say "I can't" and the reply is "yes you can", the next usual words following are an excuse as to why they can't.
In the words of Yoda "Do or do not. There is no TRY".
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I so agree that "suck it up" is needed sometimes. How many times can you hear someone whine and complain they "fell off the wagon". They know what they are doing and need to hold themselves accountable. Being very close with some military friends, I to be honest can not tolerate whiners (especially when they do it to themselves!!) I usually either tell them suck it up or pull up your big girl/boy britches and get over it. One can make excuses until the cows come home, but when will one hold themselves to a higher standard??0
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Immature bullsh|t.
Reported for name calling!
HerpDerp, how about your own name calling -- calling the OP a "soft *kitten*." I'm not that familiar with the rules. Should I report that? And that was not name calling; that was characterizing the mocker's behavior.0 -
As a trainer, I usually have to tell them to "buck up" and "suck it up". Let's face it, if you really can't do it, you won't. If you don't think you can and someone shows you that you really can, it's much easier to believe rather than hearing "yes you can". When I've heard people say "I can't" and the reply is "yes you can", the next usual words following are an excuse as to why they can't.
In the words of Yoda "Do or do not. There is no TRY".
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yoda is one smart MoFo!0 -
I agree, partially. Sometimes being a little more sensitive is appropriate. Sometimes, the person needs a kick in the *kitten* and told to just suck it up. For instance, yesterday I got up at 4AM to work out working with less than 4 hours of sleep. I told myself to suck it up. Sometimes, it's just the answer.
I love your response. And I quite agree.0 -
There are a lot of really thin-skinned posters on here. They should suck it up.I agree with you. There are a lot of really rude posters on here.
I just feel that the message boards aren't the place for being that blunt with people. I think it will deter some people who really need the support and encouragement from posting. Not only that...a lot of times it's not what you say, but how you say it. We can tell people what they need to hear (as opposed to what they want to hear) without being disrespectful and rude.
It's one thing if we "speak" in that way with our "friends" on here...but not people we don't know. Just my opinion.
:bigsmile: This!!!!:bigsmile:0 -
Immature bullsh|t.
Reported for name calling!
HerpDerp, how about your own name calling -- calling the OP a "soft *kitten*." I'm not that familiar with the rules. Should I report that? And that was not name calling; that was characterizing the mocker's behavior.
Reported for being mad.0 -
Perhaps we need to report some folks for not recognizing sarcasm.
HerpDerp, how about your own name calling -- calling the OP a "soft *kitten*." I'm not that familiar with the rules. Should I report that? And that was not name calling; that was characterizing the mocker's behavior.
Reported for name calling!Immature bullsh|t.0 -
Agreed. People instantly just tell people to suck it up when they have no idea about their history or their story. Judging others when you know nothing about them is immature.
While this is true, it's also true that people tell others "It's okay," and "Tomorrow will be better," with no idea about their history or story. Technically, either way is judgmental - they're responding based on their own experiences, not on what they truly know about the other person.0 -
Immature bullsh|t.
Reported for name calling!
HerpDerp, how about your own name calling -- calling the OP a "soft *kitten*." I'm not that familiar with the rules. Should I report that? And that was not name calling; that was characterizing the mocker's behavior.
I would like to direct you to this wonderful Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-called-SARCASM-Look-it-up/1124909887649020 -
You're doing great, keep it up.Honestly, for me, the "Awesome for trying! WTG!" gets irritating. It's like....i did A SINGLE CURL and i get a gold star? No. I have a really hard time feeling sorry for people who whine. Not losing weight? Maybe get off the computer and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT instead of asking for pity. Durh.
I argree. I logged and 10 min walk n someone said good job every bit counts lol0 -
Agreed, telling me "these things take time" makes me feel like I have an excuse to have that candy bar in the first week of my diet, since I'm still transitioning. I'd totally respond to someone saying stop crying and keep jogging. That's how I got through boot camp and it totally changed my mind about the phrase "mind over matter".0
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Immature bullsh|t.
Reported for name calling!
I'm not that familiar with the rules. Should I report that?
Please see the post: NEW FORUM GUIDELINES - PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING before posting.
Thanks0 -
You are free to report anything you like. The OP called 'suck it up' people a 'hard *kitten*', I guess I should report that too. I did report the 'eat it' comment from the person complaining about immature BS....irony, I love it.Immature bullsh|t.
Reported for name calling!
HerpDerp, how about your own name calling -- calling the OP a "soft *kitten*." I'm not that familiar with the rules. Should I report that? And that was not name calling; that was characterizing the mocker's behavior.0 -
Ermey - My HERO!!! I might have to post this pic in my office lol0 -
Wow, the immaturity of some people is astounding. Why do some of you feel the need to attack someone for sharing their feelings? Are you so insecure that you can't extend the kindness to be supportive of someone...in whatever way they need. Sure some people might need the suck it up kick in the butt, but not everyone is the same way. Comments like that might send others, right back to bad habits of eating junk & not exercising (something many ppl do when they feel beaten down), which would take away all of the hard work they've done and ruin this site for them. Some people just need a bit more kindness in the support you offer. Why bother posting if you are just here to be rude & mock people? That's not what this site is about. And for those of you that do this, I pity you...your life must be such crap that you get joy out of belittling others...so sad & pathetic!0
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So when you say things to these people like: buck up, suck it up, get over yourself and just do it..... it doesn't help.
But if you say: you can do it, yes you can, hang in there.... it helps.
Well, firstly, I don't think these two positions are, in fact, mutually exclusive.
And secondly, I'd say that you do in fact need to 'just do it'. No, it's not simple in one sense, since it requires a massive change of mind, especially for those of us with a lot to lose. But it is the truth of what you have to do, nonetheless. You have to stop whining, stop making excuses, stop imagining that there's something terribly special about you that makes you uniquely unable to lose the weight... and get on with it.0 -
You're kind of a d-bag aren't you, herpderp?
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To everyone who is whining about being told to suck it up...SUCK IT UP. It's meant in a supportive way.0
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Wow, I'm shocked to see so many jerk responses to your post. And, some of them are rude beyond belief.
If someone is a jerk to you, block them or delete them.
Unfortunately, there is a jerk everywhere you go. In a way, we have to learn to live with them. We can do this by ignoring them.
Keep your eye on your prize and ignore everyone else. There are enough people out there who do care and want to help you work through things.
Working through things is so hard. It's taken me years to get to where I am now. I'm sure alot of people felt the same towards me. Guess what? I don't need them as friends.
In the end, though, you have to learn to let the past go. I know it's hard, but you need to find a way to do this. The future is a new page. If things are very hard for you, you might want to talk to a counselor. I did, and it helped alot. I also watch the biggest loser. Watching those people deal with their pain has helped me to deal with mine and to start to move past it.0 -
To everyone who is whining about being told to suck it up...SUCK IT UP. It's meant in a supportive way.0
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This has been educational.0
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You know, I love MFP because I see so much support, and then every now and then you get a hard *kitten* telling people to get over their problems, suck it up, and lose weight. While they're probably telling the bitter truth, they should know it's not that simple, and it's not that nice.
First, not trying at all to be a hard *kitten*, I just want to say that I spent my first months on here whining about how I couldn't fit in consistent exercise, etc. A friend messaged me telling me in a kind, but hard *kitten* way that she didn't think I was ready to take this journey. That was when my switch flipped...boy did I want to prove her wrong! So we all respond differently and of course we would prefer encouragement over being told to suck it up, but most of us are here for results and I appreciate it no matter which way the support comes!
I like the approach your friend took. It's a lot less obnoxious than telling you to suck it up, it might have been true, in which case it still sounds better than, "Sorry, you're going to be a couch potato forever!" because it holds out hope that someday you might be ready, and as it turned out, it motivated you to prove your friend wrong. I'd respond much better to that approach than to some cyber hardass trying to bully me. I'm contrary, I only take orders from myself.0 -
BTW, there are alot of supportive people on here. Feel free to add me as a friend.0
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Don't get me wrong, I don't agree with enabling people to make poor choices. There are just different ways to deal with different types of people. And some people may need a bit more encouragement rather than the cold hard truth, that can come across as belittling. Just be respectful...is it really so difficult?!0
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seriously??
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WOW. The first response reminded me why I never bother to come on these boards anymore!
MOCKING her? Really? I love how you have expressed your disagreement with her statement.
I don't care which way you believe but outright MOCKING HER?
Immature bullsh|t.
OP: I'm with you. I take encouragement with a pat on the back better than a militaristic GTFO it.
And with that, I'm back off these stupid boards.
... Except I came in to edit and ended up reading more of the same.
MFP years ago had caring individuals invested in helping each other, supporting each other.
Today is appears to be full of trolls.
*smdh*
PRECISELY!!! Some people just can't help being RUDE!!! Bless the OP for having the gumption to post this and it did need to be said. . :flowerforyou:0
This discussion has been closed.
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