I bet your bf/husband is really pleased

beccyleigh

I've read several bogs & forum posts of women who have lost their weight or posted about their progress so far & alot of them have replies along the lines of "wow, well done, I bet your husband is really pleased"" or something similar.

It bugs me quite a bit as it implies that 1) they only lost weight for the benefit of their bf or husband 2) that the person losing the weight should only feel proud of their achievement once they have received validation from their bf or husband 3) that their husbands or bf were somehow dissatisfied with the person before the weight loss.

This isn't some feminist agenda but I rarely see this comment made on male MFP'ers posts charting the same achievement & it is always made by women, so I just wondering what this type of comment implies?

UponThisRock

It's just guys trying to see if she's single

TexasPatriot

It's just guys trying to see if she's single

LOL, I agree

kanata

Haha yeah i'm with the guys on this one, blatantly trying to see if the lady is single

BEERRUNNER

yeap yeap!! single?

chicagocubsfan23

It's just guys trying to see if she's single

Eh I'd agree but she said it's always made by women, so maybe women trying to see if she's single?

BEERRUNNER

yeap yeap!! single?

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

Or maybe they are just thinking that their husband is happy that they look better than before after their hard work, and possibly that comment is being read into a little too much?

Carl01

I ask if they still make good sammiches.

infamousmk

I think maybe the reason men aren't asked how their wives and girlfriends feel about it, is because men are more likely to lose weight FOR THEMSELVES. Tons of women out there say all the time, "I want to look good for my husband.." etc. .. you don't see dudes saying, "Oh, man, I just need to get my abs right so my wife will love me again.." they want to get their abs right so they look ripped.

Women are way too concerned with what others think of them, and project that on to others.

_Timmeh_

I think what they are saying is I bet your bf/husband is really pleased

CaptainGordo

Life's so much better when you give people the benefit of a doubt, and assume that they are not out to get you.

Scott613

I've read several bogs & forum posts of women who have lost their weight or posted about their progress so far & alot of them have replies along the lines of "wow, well done, I bet your husband is really pleased"" or something similar.

It bugs me quite a bit as it implies that 1) they only lost weight for the benefit of their bf or husband 2) that the person losing the weight should only feel proud of their achievement once they have received validation from their bf or husband 3) that their husbands or bf were somehow dissatisfied with the person before the weight loss.

This isn't some feminist agenda but I rarely see this comment made on male MFP'ers posts charting the same achievement & it is always made by women, so I just wondering what this type of comment implies?

Your Bf must be proud of this post:flowerforyou:

UponThisRock

I think what they are saying is I bet your bf/husband is really pleased

Interdasting...

writtenINthestars

...I'm sorry this bothers you...but..you should suck it up. :flowerforyou:

HeelsAndBoxingGloves

I bet they're saying it to say it and not implying anything at all.

BrettPGH

Life's so much better when you give people the benefit of a doubt, and assume that they are not out to get you.

If I was chilling on a beach I could be mellow too.

But it's cold and rainy and I WANT TO YELL AT PEOPLE FOR THINGS THEY SAY ON THE INTERNET!!



:happy:

odusgolp

I ask if they still make good sammiches.

I love you, Carl

vmclach

FYI. my boyfriend actuallly doesn't like that i've lost weight.

Timothytim2

Funny, my wife say's even after twentyfive pounds their's no change and I am still fat and disgusting! Wonder what she'll say after fifty?

Avalonis

Or maybe they are just thinking that their husband is happy that they look better than before after their hard work, and possibly that comment is being read into a little too much?

Annnnddd this is why you're my friend.

Besides, everyone knows when you lose weight you gain wang length. Therefore, they have lost weight and gained wang length.

Which pleases their husbands.

Odd, but I find that somewhat erotic.

Clenis, coming right up.

*EDIT* God, this post makes me look like a weirdo. The truth comes out.

_SusieQ_

I've read several bogs & forum posts of women who have lost their weight or posted about their progress so far & alot of them have replies along the lines of "wow, well done, I bet your husband is really pleased"" or something similar.

It bugs me quite a bit as it implies that 1) they only lost weight for the benefit of their bf or husband 2) that the person losing the weight should only feel proud of their achievement once they have received validation from their bf or husband 3) that their husbands or bf were somehow dissatisfied with the person before the weight loss.

This isn't some feminist agenda but I rarely see this comment made on male MFP'ers posts charting the same achievement & it is always made by women, so I just wondering what this type of comment implies?

Apparently I will be the dissenting opinion here, but I actually understand what you mean. I doubt the people that post those comments mean it that way (I hope) but it is one of those comments that makes you think "well I HOPE he was happy before and that his being with me isn't just about my looks". In the cases of these comments being made on a Success Story thread though, most of the people posting those are doing it because they accomplished something they are proud of, and they feel better about themselves. So it would stand to reason their SO's are benefiting from that accomplishment as well.

But I also have a bit of a chip on my shoulder and often wonder if people are placating me with their comments, so I'm probably not a good person to listen to on this one. :ohwell:

BrettPGH

Funny, my wife say's even after twentyfive pounds their's no change and I am still fat and disgusting! Wonder what she'll say after fifty?

After fifty you should ask your new wife.

juliecat1

Funny, my wife say's even after twentyfive pounds their's no change and I am still fat and disgusting! Wonder what she'll say after fifty?

After fifty you should ask your new wife.

Yes!!

HMD7703

So are you saying your husband/BF is not pleased with your weight loss?

HAHAH
Ok.. bad joke

soccer8s

Funny, my wife say's even after twentyfive pounds their's no change and I am still fat and disgusting! Wonder what she'll say after fifty?

After fifty you should ask your new wife.

Now that's funny!!! ha ha ha!!!

CakeFit21

I think maybe the reason men aren't asked how their wives and girlfriends feel about it, is because men are more likely to lose weight FOR THEMSELVES. Tons of women out there say all the time, "I want to look good for my husband.." etc. .. you don't see dudes saying, "Oh, man, I just need to get my abs right so my wife will love me again.." they want to get their abs right so they look ripped.

Women are way too concerned with what others think of them, and project that on to others.

I think you nailed it. I've read countless profiles that say, "to look hot for my husband!" Which really explains why people say things like, "I bet your husband is pleased."

I never once thought about "looking hot for my husband". He's always thought I was hot. I did this for me.

I also think people don't know what the heck to say to people when they lose weight. So, they just say some lame *kitten* comment that they think is a compliment.

caveats

I've read several bogs & forum posts of women who have lost their weight or posted about their progress so far & alot of them have replies along the lines of "wow, well done, I bet your husband is really pleased"" or something similar.

It bugs me quite a bit as it implies that 1) they only lost weight for the benefit of their bf or husband 2) that the person losing the weight should only feel proud of their achievement once they have received validation from their bf or husband 3) that their husbands or bf were somehow dissatisfied with the person before the weight loss.

This isn't some feminist agenda but I rarely see this comment made on male MFP'ers posts charting the same achievement & it is always made by women, so I just wondering what this type of comment implies?

Sorry, but I think you're projecting. Not to mention overanalyzing the behavior on an Internet forum, which is kinda -- to be perfectly blunt -- an exercise in futility, frustration, and an open invitation for trolls to visit.

And for the record, I see this type of comment on men's profiles/posts as well as women's. In fact, one of our resident trolls gets comments like that ALL the TIME on his profile even though he's already said his wife doesn't care about his new (and rockin') body. Ask him how he feels about the women still trying to flirt with that line. :flowerforyou:

Elizabeth_C34

It's just guys trying to see if she's single

... wins thread.

SeaSiren1

Funny, my wife say's even after twentyfive pounds their's no change and I am still fat and disgusting! Wonder what she'll say after fifty?

After fifty you should ask your new wife.

:laugh:

infamousmk

As a man, I am surprised by how often I hear women comment that another woman's husband/bf must be pleased. I do this for me. If it makes my wife happy, it is a bonus. Perhaps the comments are similarly suggesting that the bf/husband approval is a nice bonus? Although, I have also read a lot of posts here about women using bf/husband response as motivation-- which suggests otherwise to some degree. While I do believe that any motivation that works is a good one, for me at least, the key so far to sustained motivation has been to do it for me.

And you just proved my point, my friend.