I bet your bf/husband is really pleased

Shanahan09

Hubby will be pleased and THRILLED when this weight is gone because then I won't be so b*tchy. HA!! BUT, I do it for myself, not my other half. He loves me no matter what! :flowerforyou:

annabellj

FYI. my boyfriend actuallly doesn't like that i've lost weight.

thats because you are so smoking hot that he is afraid to lose you ! oh and that must be why mine doesnt like it either lol

sammys1girly

Or maybe they are just thinking that their husband is happy that they look better than before after their hard work, and possibly that comment is being read into a little too much?

Exactly what I thought. What man isn't going to be happy that his overweight wife is trim and healthier?? That doesn't mean he didn't love her just as much before, just that she's trying to look and feel better and he should be happy for her.

xo_jewel_xo

I think maybe the reason men aren't asked how their wives and girlfriends feel about it, is because men are more likely to lose weight FOR THEMSELVES. Tons of women out there say all the time, "I want to look good for my husband.." etc. .. you don't see dudes saying, "Oh, man, I just need to get my abs right so my wife will love me again.." they want to get their abs right so they look ripped.

Women are way too concerned with what others think of them, and project that on to others.

^^^^ this

StaceyL76

I would like it if my husband showed that he was pleased. He loves me the same now as when I was 60lbs heavier... I thought he would be happier with how visual guys generally tend to be. . not the case.

Maybe, it will be different when I am at goal, maybe not?? Anyway, I don't think that it implies anything. I think it is what it is..

Mhaney

I don't think they are trying to "imply" anything. Just take it at face value for what it is, some one saying "hey I bet your SO thinks you're the **** now" or "he's proud at your hard work"


My husband doesn't like the weight loss. he told me I had to stop before he can count my ribs.

_beachgirl_

I think the reason women make comments like that is really to make single women feel bad that they don't have a man to be pleased with their weightloss.

coloradocami

It's just guys trying to see if she's single

I agree...just a way of asking. There is no reason to be offended and I am"really pleased" to see my husband taking care of himself as well!

karenjoy

My Husband just likes that I will do it with him, he doesn't care if I am fat or thin really.

VeggieKelli

I've read several bogs & forum posts of women who have lost their weight or posted about their progress so far & alot of them have replies along the lines of "wow, well done, I bet your husband is really pleased"" or something similar.

It bugs me quite a bit as it implies that 1) they only lost weight for the benefit of their bf or husband 2) that the person losing the weight should only feel proud of their achievement once they have received validation from their bf or husband 3) that their husbands or bf were somehow dissatisfied with the person before the weight loss.

This isn't some feminist agenda but I rarely see this comment made on male MFP'ers posts charting the same achievement & it is always made by women, so I just wondering what this type of comment implies?

Although I appreciate the humor people have posted, I think it is really interesting to think about!

For one, it's usually not even a consciously done thing, not like anyone is out to get you or is actually trying to imply what you mentioned above. People are genuinely trying to be nice and thinking that that is a nice thing to say!

But, there is still the question of why culturally we deem this an acceptable compliment for women to get so regularly in this situation? Not that it's only women, just seemingly more common. Everyone has their right to an opinion on any matter, just seems like a good idea to think a little more about what's being said and why.

For that, I think this is an excellent topic to bring up, thank you, you got me thinking!

MercenaryNoetic26

I'd see that as a compliment. Maybe they're saying, "Wow, bet your husband is pleased!" because they'd be pleased to get with that themselves!

My husband and myself have had this talk. We both know we wouldn't dig it if either one of us got lazy and fat for no reason at all. If one of us came up with a debilitating disease that caused weight-gain, then that would be the exception. We have this understanding and stay on track knowing this. If I get pregnant, I know I'll bounce back for myself and it'll keep us both happier.

If you hook up with someone when they're skinny and they blow up like a blimp, while you stay trim, well that's just not fair! A couple should do their part to be a fit couple. Blow up together or stay fit together.

leynak

I really wouldn't be offended if someone said something like this to me. It's just a compliment. And after all my work I want my fiance to be proud of what I've done. My fiance has always loved me & told me I didn't have to lose weight but I wanted to, to make myself feel better.

But seriously, I was over 200lbs(obese). Just because my fiance loved me doesn't mean that he shouldn't think I'm more attractive when I lose weight. Of course I'm going to be hotter! I won't be overweight! And I'm sure he will be happy.

boomboom011

If i could speak on my own personal experience, well since I have dropped some weight and started working out I feel better, i have more confidence and I am starting to look so much better therefore radiating confidence and awesomeness which is a helluva lot better than a depressed *****y overweight person that i was. Which in turn makes my husband want to be around me more and in turn causes he and i both to be a lot more happy.

Its a viscious cycle.

I do care what my husband thinks. I am not however killing myself at the gym for him. Thats for myself. The rest is a bonus!

CandeesLand

Funny, my wife say's even after twentyfive pounds their's no change and I am still fat and disgusting! Wonder what she'll say after fifty?

After fifty you should ask your new wife.

Checkmate!

StaceyL76

I think the reason women make comments like that is really to make single women feel bad that they don't have a man to be pleased with their weightloss.

LOL! Seriously!

MisterDubs303

Just because someone might accept their spouse while heavier doesn't mean they can't or shouldn't appreciate the healthier, and more visually pleasing version. I think it's hypocritical to judge a partner for being pleased with the healthier change when some of us, who are trying to lose weight, didn't even like ourselves at our heavier weight. Why would it be ok for me to be miserable at a high or unhealthy weight, but expect my spouse to be ok with it?

hannahbellelechter

I had a boyfriend in highschool once who would tell me "You would be so hot if you just thinned out. You're overweight. Stop eating so much. Don't eat that. Go to the gym. You could look like Carmen Electra if you really tried." etc, etc. Then we broke up and he called me a fatty for the rest of the time I knew him.

That experience definitely made me never want to shape up for anyone else but myself.


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Britt2Fitjrny

Life's so much better when you give people the benefit of a doubt, and assume that they are not out to get you.

IT!! So True! :happy:

HeelsAndBoxingGloves

Just because someone might accept their spouse while heavier doesn't mean they can't or shouldn't appreciate the healthier, and more visually pleasing version.

I you buddy! You hit the nail on the head there!

MiloBloom83

I've read several bogs & forum posts of women who have lost their weight or posted about their progress so far & alot of them have replies along the lines of "wow, well done, I bet your husband is really pleased"" or something similar.

It bugs me quite a bit as it implies that 1) they only lost weight for the benefit of their bf or husband 2) that the person losing the weight should only feel proud of their achievement once they have received validation from their bf or husband 3) that their husbands or bf were somehow dissatisfied with the person before the weight loss.

This isn't some feminist agenda but I rarely see this comment made on male MFP'ers posts charting the same achievement & it is always made by women, so I just wondering what this type of comment implies?

My wife is on MFP and she's lost 36 pounds. She wanted to lose weight for herself, not for me, and to be more competitive in her age group in triathlons and running. I thought she was hot before, and i think she's hot now. And for the record, i am proud of her. What she has accomplished is no small feat.
I think that the people making the "Your husband must be pleased" comments are just forgetting to put the "hubba-hubba" after the comment, preferring to just leave it implied. :happy:

MDWilliams1857

Well the reality is, we all want to be found attractive by the opposite sex. We say we are doing this for us and that may be true to some extent but we all also want people to find us attractive. I know my wife loves me for who I am but I dont doubt for one second that she cant wait for me to lose weight and get ripped, and vice versa. Anyone that thinks their spouse doesnt care if they are fat or thin is just kidding themselves. They do. They might not be a total jerk that screams at you about being a pig, but they want you to lose weight and look good. Every guy wants other guys to think his wife looks good and every woman wants other women to think their husband looks good. Its human nature.

xo_jewel_xo

Funny, my wife say's even after twentyfive pounds their's no change and I am still fat and disgusting! Wonder what she'll say after fifty?

After fifty you should ask your new wife.

Yes!!

I completely agree!!

LeanerBeef

My wife is pretty much like "eh", but my boyfriend loves it!

billsica

Q: are you single?

if yes.

Q: can you get in the kitchen and cook?

if yes

A: Congrats, you look great. I have digital foliage for you.

If any of these are no.

A:

kschhr

I think that's generally reading too far into it. Congratulating someone on losing weight is awkward. Good job! You're not a fatass anymore! It's just a filler.

Apazman

They should just be honest about thier compliment and just say ... yeah .. "I'd hit that!"

Britt2Fitjrny

I think the reason women make comments like that is really to make single women feel bad that they don't have a man to be pleased with their weightloss.

???? HUH???? :noway:

Thats a joke right?

KimmieBrie

It's funny how much people read into one sentence....

Who wouldn't be pleased the person they love is or trying to get "healthier"? And what's wrong with that?

Just like happiness they quit smoking... or quit binge drinking... or any other unhealthy habit.

AND appreciating an awesome physique doesn't mean they didn't love them before. Obviously they did or they wouldn't have been there to begin with.

nalia08

I say use whatever reason need be to loose the weight. Whether it be husband, kids, healthy, clothes, pictures, family is skinny, friends are skinny or etc. We are all motivated by different things to do different things. Just remember to do it in a healthy way and be happy with you in the end.

_beachgirl_

Holy double post.