Parent Bashing this week

eeeekie

and let the parent bashing continue...

(the haters will just come out and start up on your post lol)

CharityEaton

I found this:
http://www.choicesmagazine.org/2004-3/obesity/2004-3-02.htm

And posted it in the "parent bashing" thread because it made some good points about the actual causes of obesity in the world found through several peer reviewed studies which h are cited within the article. I was pretty upset by all the things being said in that post as well as others about parents and what they are doing with their kids. It seems like a large portion of people have a particular ax to grind and don't care much who they hurt while swinging it around. Some of the things said were just plain wrong and many people stated things as fact without showing proof of their statements and then proceeded to continue on to bashing the parents without any proof that the parents were at fault.
Yes it takes a village but the implication in that statement, for those who have never lived in a small village, is that you don't get to judge other people without being very involved with their lives. Find out their problems and help them through brotherly love to work towards a solution. Not hit and run sniping on an internet forum. Instead of just acting like you care actually take some time to help be part of the solution and stop being so judgmental.

As the original poster of this topic I herby give you the award for best response! Well said! and thanks for the link! I'm gonna check it out in just a minute!

CharityEaton

and let the parent bashing continue...

(the haters will just come out and start up on your post lol)

Oh I'm sure they will..so far we've made it this long without them finding us! LOL! They will have a jolly good time bashing all of us terrible parents now that we are all in one place!
:laugh:

mom24princesses

I wish people would keep their comments to themselves about fat/chubby children. They have no idea the damage they are doing. I have four daughters all healthy weights. For the most part they eat well balanced "clean" meals and snacks with the occasional treats thrown in for good measure. My oldest has inherited her fathers rounded face. People can be so mean. We would go in public and grown adults would tease her about her "fat chipmunk cheeks" at the age of three. She went to kindergarten and kids threw rocks at her and called her "Emma Emma Moo Moo" Her doctor said she is perfectly fit and healthy. She just has a rounded face shape and a bit of her baby cheeks left. She is seven and I notice they are starting to thin out but she got teased for the longest time about how "fat" she was. I went to school and sat with her at lunch. She has a healthy home made lunch made by me while the skinny kid next to her (I kid you not) had a fruit roll up, pop tart, juice box, and candy in her lunch box. The funny thing is my daughter is SO much healthier than those other children teasing her she literally begs me for green smoothies. (a green leafy (kale, spinach, ect with some fruit and almond milk) She comes home from school and grabs broccoli out of the fridge and eats it plain and she drinks nothing but water. However, when she was being made fun of she became depressed and started not to eat at all. I was concerned and she said "I'm fat I can't eat" She started slipping in school and had to repeat kindergarten because she stopped doing her work and started to pull away. It was bad. Thankfully, her family loves her and she found some true friends and we tell her how beautiful she is on the inside out and how taking care of her body and being healthy and strong is what is important. However, we all know no matter what your mom and dad says what others are saying or even whispering behind your back stings.

fteale

I totally totally agree with the OP. Completely.

seehawkmomma

I wish people would keep their comments to themselves about fat/chubby children. They have no idea the damage they are doing. I have four daughters all healthy weights. For the most part they eat well balanced "clean" meals and snacks with the occasional treats thrown in for good measure. My oldest has inherited her fathers rounded face. People can be so mean. We would go in public and grown adults would tease her about her "fat chipmunk cheeks" at the age of three. She went to kindergarten and kids threw rocks at her and called her "Emma Emma Moo Moo" Her doctor said she is perfectly fit and healthy. She just has a rounded face shape and a bit of her baby cheeks left. She is seven and I notice they are starting to thin out but she got teased for the longest time about how "fat" she was. I went to school and sat with her at lunch. She has a healthy home made lunch made by me while the skinny kid next to her (I kid you not) had a fruit roll up, pop tart, juice box, and candy in her lunch box. The funny thing is my daughter is SO much healthier than those other children teasing her she literally begs me for green smoothies. (a green leafy (kale, spinach, ect with some fruit and almond milk) She comes home from school and grabs broccoli out of the fridge and eats it plain and she drinks nothing but water. However, when she was being made fun of she became depressed and started not to eat at all. I was concerned and she said "I'm fat I can't eat" She started slipping in school and had to repeat kindergarten because she stopped doing her work and started to pull away. It was bad. Thankfully, her family loves her and she found some true friends and we tell her how beautiful she is on the inside out and how taking care of her body and being healthy and strong is what is important. However, we all know no matter what your mom and dad says what others are saying or even whispering behind your back stings.

You sound like an amazing mother. And it made me so sad to read that. I too was that little girl who would eat healthy(my mom was a hippie and not only did i get made fun of for being fat but I also had no TV) but get made fun of.

I am glad that she pulled out of it strong. And thats what we needs as a community. We need EMPATHY and COMPASSION. Not disgust and hate.

When I see an over weight child its not disgust I feel.

These people want to post about how parents should parent but dont offer a solution. If its a better life they seek for these kids they should find it outside of cyberland but in the schools, YMCA, etc. There is a lot of resources out there they could be apart of the solution not sit here and shunning them on a website that is dedicated to eating healthier.

Everyone on here knows they have a weight/health issue which is why they come here.

cottonpunk

Wish I had a like button now!

What bothers me is people who look at other's kids and don't have a clue about their life. My nephew was a very skinny 3 year old kid. April, 2010, he became ill with leukemia. Next step, very high dose steroids and 4 years of Chemotherapy to look forward to. Within 2 weeks, he looked like an obese child---gained a ton of weight, fat cheeks, and wanted to eat everything in sight. Doctor said to let him have whatever he wanted but with one caveat......NO FRESH FRUIT OR VEGETABLES! When a child is immunocompromised, they cannot have them. They can give them DEADLY germs. They had to switch to individually packaged fruit/veggies/snacks, et cetera. This was very hard for my sister to deal with as she had fed them very healthy and well up to this point. I'm thinking the last thing she needed was someone looking at her "chubby" child and her grocery cart and judging her as a parent. Looks are DECEIVING! In reality, she was trying to take care of her VERY SICK child. So, as someone early said, if you are a visitor to the village, I don't believe you have a right to try to be part of the village raising said child. This is why I keep my mouth shut when I see parenting that is not in line with my own---I DON"T know the story and really, it really is none of my business unless I am close to the family.

.......
........
.......stepping off soapbox now!

fteale

Agree with what you're saying but can't blame them for being judgemental...

children should not be fat let alone overweight... the occasional treat doesn't result in a kid being overweight, constant over indulging, and/or portion size does. FACT.

You are their guardian and should protect them from this... and be encouraging a healthy lifestyle.

I disagree. Most children grow in cycles. They get podgy, then they shoot up and thin out. Then they gradually fill out again, then shoot up again. If you saw my older son in a podgy phase you'd think he was overfed (he eats barely a thing), if you saw him a month later after he'd grown an inch in a month you'd think him very athletic looking (he has had a six pack since he was 3, and does 3 dance lessons and rugby every week on top of daily school sport). The fact he has so much more muscle than any other child I know his age makes him a lot heavier than most.

Renea_Kay

I have a mobidly obese 15 year old son. I know he is fat, he knows he is fat, and he claims he is happy and comfortable in his own skin. I have tried to explain to him the health risks of being obese. He does not care. I don't buy a lot of snacks like chips and candy and cakes and cookies ( Notice they all start with "C") . I buy healthy snacks fruits veggies I allow popcorn. But when he sits down and eats a half of box of cereal at one time what am I to do? I can't be a food Nazi all the time. If I buy cheese, he will eat almost the entire package at once. It is a losing battle!!! I just wanted to share!



Merry Christmas!!!

From a obese teen....its hard ...my mom did the same for me....always had me on weight loss programs since i was 9...did it help? Hell no...it just made me feel bad about myself and made me depressed....you are doing whats right by setting a good example and buying healthy...but dont push him...it will not help unless he wants to do it trust me...all you can do is be a good example....offer him to go on walks ...buy wii health games or offer him goals (like if you lose 30-50 or whatever pounds ill buy you... (new clothes? something good) ...just encourage but dont force or make him feel bad about himself

CharityEaton

There is nothing wrong with the odd treat, but when I see babies with chocolate milk and pop in their bottles and little kids that are so over weight that they can't run and play it makes me FURIOUS. Parents who continuously either over-feed their kids or feed them garbage day in and day out are committing child abuse. There should be a system in place to provide these parents with nutritional councilling and ensure that these kids are being followed by a doctor. This is not fair to the children who will face a lifetime of health problems and weight issues. If you are morbidly obese before you are old enough to buy your first cart of groceries, then I think it is fair to blame your parents.

I don't get how people can dismiss an obesity epidemic, where children will die at a younger age then their parents, where children are being diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and high cholestrol. This isn't about a Friday night treat out at a fast food joint, this is about ruining the health of the future generation. We should be mad, we should judge, we should DO something about it (this does not mean yelling at parents in McD's).

For the record, I am a mom. As parents we have made a very conscious effort about what we give our daughter to eat and drink. This does not mean that she never gets junk food, but it does mean that she does not get a daily diet of "Kid" food. People need to learn to feed their kids whole healthy foods and not fall into the trap of jarred baby food, chicken fingers, hot dogs, french fries, kraft dinner, juice, "fruit" snacks, granola bars, sugar cereal, pudding and pizza. And don't say "That is all my kid will eat". Well then stop buying it and stop serving it and they'll learn to eat Real food.

I absolutely agree that we should all be concerned with te obesity epidemic. However, what I am trying to say is that there is far more to ANY situation then what we SEE with our eyes in passing. How do you really know what is going on by a simple passing in a restaurant or grocery store? Maybe, just maybe that child you see as over weight has actually LOST 30 pounds and is being allowed to have a once in a while treat of eating at McD's for the night. That's all I'm saying. Yes, we need to pay attention and as young children it is the parents place to do the work. My daughter was a chunky monkey as a baby and toddler and it was very hurtful what people would say about her in public. She went from being very scarily underweight to very chunky quickly and under her doctor's supervision yet people still looked at me as a bad mom because my baby had rolls on her rolls! She grew out of it. She weighed over 20 pounds at 5 months old!!! She was a very big baby but on the outside no one KNEW our struggle with her as an infant so they had no right to comment on how big she was. She is still a good sized kid but is also significantly taller then most kids her age. She is very active and we have to FIGHT her every step of the way to get her to eat healthy...it sucks to see her get so stubborn about it but I stand my ground because I love her and I don't want her to be unhealthy. I am also trying to teach her that she CAN have whatever she wants in moderation! I feel bad enough battling her, I don't need some childless 20 year old telling me I'm terrible for letting her have a cheeseburger for dinner. Sometimes just getting ANYTHING in their body is better then letting then nothing at all. That's all I'm trying to get at! I totally understand the concern for obesity and I do feel sad for the children that are battling it and the parents that just don't seem to have the knowledge to do something BUT we have no idea that they are in fact clueless...maybe they have just begun their battle and our ugly looks and comments are not helping them on their journey!

queenpushycat

All I can say is...


Everyone needs a good piece of chocolate cake. All this dieting is making us cranky

CALL CHILD SERVICES!!! jk... :P

Merry X'mas everyone

sissonlee

Merry Christmas to all !!!!

taramaureen

I wish people would keep their comments to themselves about fat/chubby children. They have no idea the damage they are doing. I have four daughters all healthy weights. For the most part they eat well balanced "clean" meals and snacks with the occasional treats thrown in for good measure. My oldest has inherited her fathers rounded face. People can be so mean. We would go in public and grown adults would tease her about her "fat chipmunk cheeks" at the age of three. She went to kindergarten and kids threw rocks at her and called her "Emma Emma Moo Moo" Her doctor said she is perfectly fit and healthy. She just has a rounded face shape and a bit of her baby cheeks left. She is seven and I notice they are starting to thin out but she got teased for the longest time about how "fat" she was. I went to school and sat with her at lunch. She has a healthy home made lunch made by me while the skinny kid next to her (I kid you not) had a fruit roll up, pop tart, juice box, and candy in her lunch box. The funny thing is my daughter is SO much healthier than those other children teasing her she literally begs me for green smoothies. (a green leafy (kale, spinach, ect with some fruit and almond milk) She comes home from school and grabs broccoli out of the fridge and eats it plain and she drinks nothing but water. However, when she was being made fun of she became depressed and started not to eat at all. I was concerned and she said "I'm fat I can't eat" She started slipping in school and had to repeat kindergarten because she stopped doing her work and started to pull away. It was bad. Thankfully, her family loves her and she found some true friends and we tell her how beautiful she is on the inside out and how taking care of her body and being healthy and strong is what is important. However, we all know no matter what your mom and dad says what others are saying or even whispering behind your back stings.

That is so sad. I see this often. I work with young girls, the youngest of my clients is 10 right now and had the same issues in school. What the students dont' see is that she is on medication that makes her appetite uncontrollable. Her diet is well regulated at home, but at school? She eats until she pukes I kid you not.

I also got made fun of in school and I was at a healthy weight. It gave me a complex and made me want to eat more. I actually look better now than I did as a senior in HS simply because I have enough confidence now to take care of myself instead of gorge on food to drown my feelings.

SCOUSERWENCH

Is it me or does it seem that there are many MFPr's bashing parents for overweight children?

As a parent of 3 young girls this has started to irritate me! First off, overweight adults need to take accountability for their own lives and quite blaming it on their parents and childhood. I don't care if it WAS your parents fault. Get over it! You are an adult now and can make changes on your own. If its not worth working for then it's not worth having! If you don't want to work for it then you don't want it bad enough and constantly blaming others for your situation is getting you nowhere!

Second, I am getting tired of MFPr's that have no children bashing parents for their kids poor eating habits simply by seeing a child eating mac and cheese in a restaurant when they appear to be overweight children or judging a parent for running through a drive through and feeding their kid awful fast food.
If you don't know the entire situation you can NOT judge! You have NO IDEA where they are coming from. How do you know that the amount of food they are eating isn't half the amount that they used to eat! Everyone has to start somewhere and as a parent you can not just take EVERYTHING out of your childs diet or they are going to HATE you! You wouldn't expect an adult to just quite smoking in one day so why would you expect a CHILD to stop overeating or eating junk in one day! Besides we all know that you can go health crazy and cut everything from your diet but if you don't LEARN how to control your portions, cravings and choices the healthy way then the second you look at a cookie you are going to gain weight!

Third, it is CHRISTMAS for crying out loud and all of this hatefulness toward others is making me so sad. What happened to love and peace and harmony? Give a person a hug and tell them Merry Christmas instead of looking at them and judging every item on their plate!
Maybe a simple gesture of kindness will give a person the confidence they need to feel good enough to make changes in their life rather than seeing your horrible faces and feeling even more down about themselves!
Just saying! It makes me sad and I hope that some of the other MFPr's will think about what they are saying to others.....it wasn't so long ago that all of us were the fat people making others feel gross about our food choices!

May you all Have a Merry Christmas and a Healthy and Happy New year but please remember that being healthy means in body and MIND so don't pass your negativity on.

I was thinking excatly the same all i thought about it was "oh go and **** off". I wont have some gloryfied wannabe dietician telling me what to do and criticise what I feed my Daughter. Half of these people havent got kids.

SCOUSERWENCH

Is it me or does it seem that there are many MFPr's bashing parents for overweight children?

As a parent of 3 young girls this has started to irritate me! First off, overweight adults need to take accountability for their own lives and quite blaming it on their parents and childhood. I don't care if it WAS your parents fault. Get over it! You are an adult now and can make changes on your own. If its not worth working for then it's not worth having! If you don't want to work for it then you don't want it bad enough and constantly blaming others for your situation is getting you nowhere!

Second, I am getting tired of MFPr's that have no children bashing parents for their kids poor eating habits simply by seeing a child eating mac and cheese in a restaurant when they appear to be overweight children or judging a parent for running through a drive through and feeding their kid awful fast food.
If you don't know the entire situation you can NOT judge! You have NO IDEA where they are coming from. How do you know that the amount of food they are eating isn't half the amount that they used to eat! Everyone has to start somewhere and as a parent you can not just take EVERYTHING out of your childs diet or they are going to HATE you! You wouldn't expect an adult to just quite smoking in one day so why would you expect a CHILD to stop overeating or eating junk in one day! Besides we all know that you can go health crazy and cut everything from your diet but if you don't LEARN how to control your portions, cravings and choices the healthy way then the second you look at a cookie you are going to gain weight!

Third, it is CHRISTMAS for crying out loud and all of this hatefulness toward others is making me so sad. What happened to love and peace and harmony? Give a person a hug and tell them Merry Christmas instead of looking at them and judging every item on their plate!
Maybe a simple gesture of kindness will give a person the confidence they need to feel good enough to make changes in their life rather than seeing your horrible faces and feeling even more down about themselves!
Just saying! It makes me sad and I hope that some of the other MFPr's will think about what they are saying to others.....it wasn't so long ago that all of us were the fat people making others feel gross about our food choices!

May you all Have a Merry Christmas and a Healthy and Happy New year but please remember that being healthy means in body and MIND so don't pass your negativity on.

I was thinking excatly the same all i thought about it was "oh go and **** off". I wont have some gloryfied wannabe dietician telling me what to do and criticise what I feed my Daughter. Half of these people havent got kids.