Rude Friends!

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  • jpalimpsest
    jpalimpsest Posts: 24
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    Some friends aren't worth keeping around. Ditch the weighty baggage and keep on keepin' on.
  • GinNouveau
    GinNouveau Posts: 143 Member
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    Is there anything besides food centered activities that you enjoy doing with these people?

    Unfortunately, no there isn't unless you consider sitting around watching t.v., but even that involves food. I attempt to suggest things that don't revolve around, but it's always no.

    I understand where you are coming from. Some friendships are supposed to end. There is no reason to be mean or even give a reason. "I am going to go to the gym. You can come if you want." If you don't seize this opportunity to change, you may end up letting 10 years go by and still be sitting on the sofa with those people. Or even worse, you'll miss YOUR chance to change to make them happy and they will find new friends, get married, have families, move away, and you'll be on the couch alone.
  • dmaciejewski
    dmaciejewski Posts: 10 Member
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    Shopping!
  • lynnonamission
    lynnonamission Posts: 53
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    I include more psitiguess they are your frienemies....stay away from negative ppl and include more postitive ppl in your life.
  • slimmingdownsteph
    slimmingdownsteph Posts: 201 Member
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    one word: JEALOUS. they've noticed your success and are jealous of it.
    basically, you can do one of two things...

    what I would do (option #1) is talk to them about how you feel and express how you wish they were more supportive of your weight loss journey and respect that you are making a lifestyle change and working on being healthier. if they are true friends (sounds cliche, but is SO TRUE) they will stop belittling you and being rude and will support you and your choice. maybe the don't even realize how rude their attitudes are coming off. in the end, (option #2) if they don't change and keep it up and you can't grin and bear it, you will probably need to move on from the friendship and focus on YOU and YOUR success.
    being a better you is more important then anything right now in this case.

    p.s. this HAS happened to me... twice. the first time i had to drop the friendship as i stated, and the other is still my best friend because she realized that she was being unsupported and rude (completely unintentionally though! lol) and decided to cheer me on instead. now she's my biggest cheerleader :):) i hope it works out for you!
  • EricMurano
    EricMurano Posts: 825 Member
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    We all have to deal with this issue. The best attitude is to just do your thing and not care what other people think. It's been said to death and it's true. It's the only way to achieve your goal and keep your friendships.

    Everyone that's posted has had the same issue. There will always be people that question your motives, techniques, philosophies and progress. Listening to any of it does not serve you. I know it's stressful now but the more obsessed and dedicated you get the more your results matter.

    I remember a cousin of mine, upon telling him that I'm on a weight loss plan again, said "You've been trying to lose weight for a while now". A seemingly innocuous statement, which was true, mind you. But it really affected me. It was like he was subtly saying that I may as well give up because enough is enough. Of course I'm sure he didn't mean it that way. He probably meant "Hey, step it up, come on we want to see you hit your goal!" but we always go to the most negative thing because deep down we're all scare little cry babies.

    Kick that inner child in the head and embrace that outer adult!
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
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    Put a little distance between you and these women for right now. Make some new friends with similar interests but still keep the friends you've had. They want the "you" back that they know and are comfortable with. You want to take off the weight and have some other goals in mind. True friends stick with us in times of change and growth. And true friends allow us the space to accomplish our goals :=)
  • tjpinch
    tjpinch Posts: 87 Member
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    They don't want to see your hard work and dedication. It makes them feel fat and lazy. They'll change or they won't; don't let it affect your path.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    I think you need some new friends who share you new goals. Maybe not necessarily to replace your old friends, but definitely in addition to.

    Playing devil's advocate, they were friends with a 300 pound girl who ate chips and did other things they like to do. Yes, you're making great improvements to your life, but they didn't sign up for that. They might sign up for it when they see how happy you are with your progress and results, but as of right now, they don't subscribe to that portion of your life. Just like how you don't want to indulge in shakes and fries, it's ok if they don't want to run a 5k. It's NOT right that they make fun of it, but you'd know better than any of us if they were being truly malicious or just clueless and ignorant.

    People, in general, don't like change. They want things to stay the same. They don't want you to change from who you were when you all chose to be friends. That's natural. Frustrating, but natural.
  • kvreeken
    kvreeken Posts: 137 Member
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    Every time you feel undermined come to this site and get the encouragement you need from the people that understand. That's what I do.
  • GTI_Girl
    GTI_Girl Posts: 207
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    you do you. Don't let your "friend" get in the way! In the end YOU are gonna have to live with the choices you make. Don't be fat and happy. Be FIT and happy.
  • Mirror_Image
    Mirror_Image Posts: 32
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    Keep on going with your goals and plans, ignore those lassies and they'll soon see you're on the right path when they see the results from all you hard work. Chin up sweetie :)

    x
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    my maid of honour is like that...she literally shoves food in my face. I mentioned that I gained 3lbs since my fiance has been working out of town, and she told me to take a poop. I have a hard time getting rid of three pounds, it's going to take more than a poop! So i just don't say anything to her. I keep busy so we don't see each other very much, and when we do, there is no mention of weight unless she's complaining that she's gained another 20lbs. I don't say a thing.
  • Sul3i
    Sul3i Posts: 553 Member
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    First of all great for you for joining & on your weight loss!! You are well on your way hun be proud!! Second I mean this in the nicest way GET NEW FRIENDS! They aren't being very supportive...you know what they say "misery loves company". For me I surround myself only with those who love & support me & if someone is being that way to me I have a big enough mouth I say something to them as a. Warning so they know I won't put up with it... u deserve support girl u r doin great! :flowerforyou:
  • nkziv
    nkziv Posts: 161 Member
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    this might sound terrible, but they don't want you to be thin. They want to keep you fat to feel better about themselves. I've experienced this as well and it sucks.
  • MikeLeamer
    MikeLeamer Posts: 5
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    we only get one trip across this stage - and it goes very quickly. take that trip with better people, or take it alone - you'll be better for it.

    the old programming phrase, "Garbage in, garbage out," works for a great many things - including who you surround yourself with.
  • ElementalEscapee
    ElementalEscapee Posts: 552 Member
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    Lol they are SO JELLY!!!!!!! But really, they sound jealous jealous jealous! Ignore them and see this thing through...you've made it so far already, congrats. Good luck to ya! :D
  • Scorpioangel
    Scorpioangel Posts: 951 Member
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    YEP I know people like that and I just ignore them now. I know it's hard but I just focus on my goals because it seems like people who are not healthy don't get what we are doing (and maybe they don't) so they don't know any better.

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