Huge Mistake or not?

Lsqueezy

So I don't usually post on here unless it's strictly fun stuff, but I have a serious dilemma. On Christmas a good friend and I had a lot of drinks. We were feeling particularly affectionate and hugging and he says he loves me. Great, I love him too. Many drinks later we went home together. The next day was a little weird, but we just kind of went back to friend mode when he took me to my car for the walk of shame.

The dilemma here is that I really do like him. Did I already ruin it by sleeping with him?

Oh and I haven't heard from him since. Ugh. What do I do now? I feel like a socially inept teenager. In the past boyfriends have been boyfriends and friends who are boys just friends. I've never blurred the line before.

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

This might sound a bit crazy and far out there...but call him.

CaptainGordo

Did you guys, like, have sex and stuff?

infamousmk

This might sound a bit crazy and far out there...but call him.

This. Call him. There are no dating rules other than "if you like someone, show them and be honest."

rebeccap13

Did you guys, like, have sex and stuff?

Ahhahaha.

But seriously, just call him.

LMHinson15

Definitely call him! If you really are good friends it's worth finding out what's up... and if he's going to be a jerk, then it's better to know now. Just letting it live in your head will be torture and won't actually accomplish anything...

I say if you like him, tell him. He said he loves you, and hopefully it wasn't just to get you in to bed (hoping if he really is a good friend, it wasn't). And if it was just words then he deserves a swift kick in the baby-makers.

Carl01

You can`t change the past,be yourself and go on.
Tell him how you feel and be willing to accept whatever happens. :flowerforyou:

inotnew

You will never know unless you ask. Call - talk it out - find out.

Lsqueezy

I think what I'm more afraid of is losing the friendship. We have been friends for 4 years and share a lot of the same friends. I just don't want to make things more awkward.

SLambertAlaska

You can`t change the past,be yourself and go on.
Tell him how you feel and be willing to accept whatever happens. :flowerforyou:

This!

SixCatFaerie

Definitely call him! If you really are good friends it's worth finding out what's up... and if he's going to be a jerk, then it's better to know now. Just letting it live in your head will be torture and won't actually accomplish anything...

I say if you like him, tell him. He said he loves you, and hopefully it wasn't just to get you in to bed (hoping if he really is a good friend, it wasn't). And if it was just words then he deserves a swift kick in the baby-makers.

^^^THIS!!!

scs143

I agree call him. What's done is done. But not having contact is a sure way to make things weird and uncomfortable.

Lsqueezy

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This is what gets me in these situations.

blakeman187

This might sound a bit crazy and far out there...but call him.

This. Call him. There are no dating rules other than "if you like someone, show them and be honest."

All of this

dirtbikegirl5

I would call him. The best boyfriend to have is one who is your friend. Maybe he is feeling the same way and has no clue what to do.

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

I think what I'm more afraid of is losing the friendship. We have been friends for 4 years and share a lot of the same friends. I just don't want to make things more awkward.

Look, you just saw each other naked and boinked. Nothing is going to make it more awkward than silence. Just call him.

CouchSpud

Speak to him. If he blanks you, he's just another fail and you probably better off, but there is also quite a chance that he might feel about the same ^^ ... and just doesn't know how to breach the subject

cygnetpro

Absolutely call him. It'll clear up any question, AND keep in mind that he may be feeling the same way, but is uncomfortable saying so. Good luck!

CaptainGordo

I just don't want to make things more awkward.

Really, could it be more awkward?

dmpizza

You are an adult(35) so be grown up about it.
Call him up and act however you feel is appropriate(friend, BF, whatever).

doornumber03

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This is what gets me in these situations.

hahaha...that's a good one!

killagb

Run like hell and don't look back. HTH! :drinker:

Tracy9377

Women are really good at dwelling and ruminating - we're not so good at relaxing. There's the problem - when women have a problem, we engage and tackle it --- when men have a problem, they retreat to their "cave" to find a solution. I have been reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (I know it's cliche', but there's some REALLY good stuff in there.) When men withdraw to their "cave", they are trying to come up with a solution. It doesn't mean they don't care. My husband goes and plays video games if we are having a fight and can't resolve it right away. I used to think that he didn't care, but actually, he was overwhelmed, and killing mushroom people on Mario Bro's gave him a "little" problem to fix. After he frees Princess Peach, he feels better and is usually ready to talk again - with the added benefit that he has a clear head, and can think instead of react. For some reason, that "little victory" makes him feel more confident to tackle whatever problem that we are having. If I can manage to give him space, we work things out pretty quickly. If I follow him and try to talk to him or keep him from taking his "break", things are more difficult and take longer.
I know it's a different situation, but I think it would be good to give him some space. I know it's hard and it hurts. I would DEFINITELY recommend the book too. Men and women may be equal, but we are NOTHING alike!
Good luck and God bless.

So I don't usually post on here unless it's strictly fun stuff, but I have a serious dilemma. On Christmas a good friend and I had a lot of drinks. We were feeling particularly affectionate and hugging and he says he loves me. Great, I love him too. Many drinks later we went home together. The next day was a little weird, but we just kind of went back to friend mode when he took me to my car for the walk of shame.

The dilemma here is that I really do like him. Did I already ruin it by sleeping with him?

Oh and I haven't heard from him since. Ugh. What do I do now? I feel like a socially inept teenager. In the past boyfriends have been boyfriends and friends who are boys just friends. I've never blurred the line before.

Lsqueezy

Run like hell and don't look back. HTH! :drinker:

This is what I was thinking, but instead I just texted him and invited him for drinks tonight.

Brandicaloriecountess

I agree, call him. It doesn't have to be awkward.

scs143

Run like hell and don't look back. HTH! :drinker:

This is what I was thinking, but instead I just texted him and invited him for drinks tonight.

Did he text you back? If he goes for drinks, I would think he is into you for real.

TNAJackson

I think what I'm more afraid of is losing the friendship. We have been friends for 4 years and share a lot of the same friends. I just don't want to make things more awkward.

Tell him this. Tell him how you truely feel and be prepared for whatever his reaction may be. Who knows, maybe he's asking this exact same question somewhere else. If you never call, you'll never know, and you'll forever wonder.

CaptainGordo

...I just texted him and invited him for drinks tonight.

I saw this on Cinemax last night!

Debbe2

From good friendships can come good long lasting relationships...... call him. He may be thinking the same thing as you :=)

inotnew

Run like hell and don't look back. HTH! :drinker:

This is what I was thinking, but instead I just texted him and invited him for drinks tonight.

More drinks! this is how it started.....

killagb

Run like hell and don't look back. HTH! :drinker:

This is what I was thinking, but instead I just texted him and invited him for drinks tonight.