Huge Mistake or not?

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Replies

  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    i would wait 6 weeks and then call him and tell him youre pregnant. jk call him
  • FunkyGranolaTree
    FunkyGranolaTree Posts: 363 Member
    Bump... I need to see how this ends too!!! I need to live vicariously through you!!!
  • Lsqueezy
    Lsqueezy Posts: 128
    Bump - lol....I want to see how this ends up :drinker:
    train+wreck.jpg

    Ouch. I hope it doesn't end like that.
  • Tracy9377
    Tracy9377 Posts: 73 Member
    I don't think I would respect a man who always made me break the silence, and let me pursue him instead of him pursuing me. I want a man who initiates and acts like a man, because I want to be his partner rather than his mother. I was concerned about this with my husband for a while, but when I gave him space to respond, and be the man of our house, he rose to the occasion. Now, I trust him and respect him more because of it. I agree - the damage has been done, and I agree - the two of you need to talk about it; but if you jump in the driver's seat now, it will be very difficult to get out.
    I don't usually reply to non MFP posts, but here's my 2 cents. Damage is done. Now you two need to sit down & have a really serious conversation. Be honest, because it won't do you or your friendship any good not to be honest. It will remain awkward until you talk about it. Don't be childish and play the waiting game. Like you said, inept teenagers do that. You are a grown woman, take control of the situation and ask him to dinner/lunch/coffee/whatever it is you usually do. And be to the point. Otherwise you are no better a friend than he is if you can't just say what's on your mind & get it out in the open.

    Hope you have a Happy New Year! :flowerforyou:
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    First, congratulations on having a poon worth coming back for seconds.

    Now, realistically before you give it up again, set your boundaries. Are you ok with a "friends w/ benefits" situation? If yes, then have fun! If you really just want to be friends, be straight up and let him know you don't mind that it happened once, but it's not going to become a regular. And if you're wondering whether or not he wants to kick it up to the next level and date you, ask him if that's where he's going. But just make sure he knows it's all good if he doesn't want to. Just know what you want and don't be led around by a penis. They're a dime a dozen.
  • jlfox165
    jlfox165 Posts: 81
    Call him and discuss it.
  • hbdub7
    hbdub7 Posts: 61 Member
    This might sound a bit crazy and far out there...but call him.

    AGREED...do not think to much into it, and just act like you normally would...if you want more tell him you liked it, and you should do it again...not necessarily saying the "sex" part, but kinda get the feel for what he says.
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
    Bump - lol....I want to see how this ends up :drinker:
    train+wreck.jpg

    Ouch. I hope it doesn't end like that.

    If you sleep together drunk, or do a friends with benefits, thing, I think that assessment is correct.

    But if your friendship was a precursor to romantic love, you can be both friends and lovers.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    I lost my virginity to my second boyfriend after around 1 month of knowing each other...

    We stayed together for 3 years and were planning on marrying.

    Unfortunately, I realized what I thought I would never realize...a bit of a commitmentphobe =/

    Now I'm single and constantly paranoid of repeating the past...but anywho, it depends on the person.

    A lot of people say stuff like, "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?" and stuff like, "You have to wait ___ this long. You have to go in ____ this order," but there are always exceptions so ^.^
  • Lsqueezy
    Lsqueezy Posts: 128
    Update - Dinner was great. A little awkward at first, but then lots of fun. At the end of the night he walked me to my car and kissed me goodbye and asked if I wanted to go with him downtown to watch fireworks on New Years Eve. So...I guess I'm just going to see what happens. Without risk there is no reward.
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
    Did you guys, like, have sex and stuff?

    :laugh:
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
    Women are really good at dwelling and ruminating - we're not so good at relaxing. There's the problem - when women have a problem, we engage and tackle it --- when men have a problem, they retreat to their "cave" to find a solution. I have been reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (I know it's cliche', but there's some REALLY good stuff in there.) When men withdraw to their "cave", they are trying to come up with a solution. It doesn't mean they don't care. My husband goes and plays video games if we are having a fight and can't resolve it right away. I used to think that he didn't care, but actually, he was overwhelmed, and killing mushroom people on Mario Bro's gave him a "little" problem to fix. After he frees Princess Peach, he feels better and is usually ready to talk again - with the added benefit that he has a clear head, and can think instead of react. For some reason, that "little victory" makes him feel more confident to tackle whatever problem that we are having. If I can manage to give him space, we work things out pretty quickly. If I follow him and try to talk to him or keep him from taking his "break", things are more difficult and take longer.
    I know it's a different situation, but I think it would be good to give him some space. I know it's hard and it hurts. I would DEFINITELY recommend the book too. Men and women may be equal, but we are NOTHING alike!
    Good luck and God bless.
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
    Update - Dinner was great. A little awkward at first, but then lots of fun. At the end of the night he walked me to my car and kissed me goodbye and asked if I wanted to go with him downtown to watch fireworks on New Years Eve. So...I guess I'm just going to see what happens. Without risk there is no reward.

    Good. I'm glad you put on your 35 year old big girl pants and did exactly what you wanted to do and didn't play little girl games.
    Have a great New Years Eve together!
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
    It's like a bandaid. Just do it quick and get it over with and Let the chips fall where they may. Life is too short!:flowerforyou:
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Run like hell and don't look back. HTH! :drinker:

    This is what I was thinking, but instead I just texted him and invited him for drinks tonight. :wink:

    This is why you're on the Internet asking whether or not you made a mistake.

    If you have real feelings for this guy, sit him down, and spell it out for him WITHOUT booze. I get the "liquid courage" thing, but, to me, it sounds like you just want to get the guy in bed again, and alcohol is a quick way to do that AND to give yourself an excuse if things end badly. If he means something to you, it's time to be an adult. My two cents.
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    First, congratulations on having a poon worth coming back for seconds.

    Hysterical!

    How did it go?
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
    So what do we actually know here?
  • LMHinson15
    LMHinson15 Posts: 201 Member
    Update - Dinner was great. A little awkward at first, but then lots of fun. At the end of the night he walked me to my car and kissed me goodbye and asked if I wanted to go with him downtown to watch fireworks on New Years Eve. So...I guess I'm just going to see what happens. Without risk there is no reward.

    So glad! Hope it goes well for you both!!
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    Update - Dinner was great. A little awkward at first, but then lots of fun. At the end of the night he walked me to my car and kissed me goodbye and asked if I wanted to go with him downtown to watch fireworks on New Years Eve. So...I guess I'm just going to see what happens. Without risk there is no reward.


    That's great!
  • dlcam61
    dlcam61 Posts: 228 Member
    Update - Dinner was great. A little awkward at first, but then lots of fun. At the end of the night he walked me to my car and kissed me goodbye and asked if I wanted to go with him downtown to watch fireworks on New Years Eve. So...I guess I'm just going to see what happens. Without risk there is no reward.

    That's awesome. Did you at least talk, like adults? Or did you let the alcohol do the talking? :drinker: Post an update for New Years & let us know how it went :wink:
  • seventwenty
    seventwenty Posts: 565 Member
    Hmmm, there needs to be an Internet rule. If you ask the Internet for help, you need to tell the Internet how it ends up.
  • mags1983
    mags1983 Posts: 21
    Having sex with a friend can be complicated. The same thing happened with me and a friend over the Christmas holidays but as he lives abroad we are just remaining friends. I hope it works out for you both :)
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