Your Thought On Age Difference?

seehawkmomma

Okay, So my daughters father who is 31 is now dating his second teenager. His first one was last year and she was 17 he was 30 at the time. Now at 31 he is dating an 18yr old. I have said nothing to him, but I find it a wee bit odd that a man of his age cant find someone his own age.

But on the same hand my cousin is 26 and dating a man who is 58.

Again I find this odd, but now curious....whats the youngest/oldest person you've dated and how did that work out?

directorj

I had to read the 1st line like 3x LOL I thought he is dating his own second teenager :laugh:

galegetsthin

My boyfriend now is 40. I am 28. It is a 12 year difference. I think that in some cases it doesnt work, but in mine, I prefer it. He is older, more established, more calm, has learned a lot on how to be a grown up. I love him very much, I know that he loves me very much and I have never been happier than I am with my older man! Think about how it will be when the girls are 25 and he is 37..... will it feel so strange then?

Myslissa

I was married to someone 19 years older...It ended in divorce. I really dont think it was the difference in age that was the problem though. Age can be just a number. But when you are on the verge of statutory rape or child molestation, EWWWW.

auticus

It's all subjective, so long as he's not dating a child. Granted I myself have issues with anyone in their 20s as I feel that that is too young for me since most 20 somethings still have to party whenever they can and I'm past that.

The youngest I've attempted to date was a 23 year old when I was 32. She had a masters degree. It didn't work out because she didn't want to settle on one person yet as she was 23 and had a lot of screwing around to do.

The oldest I've dated was 50 when I was 31 and the age difference was too much for me.

I try for 10 years older max and if I'm going to go younger I take life into consideration.

1) do they want kids? I don't want anymore kids. If they already have them that's cool, I just don't want to father anymore.
2) do they need to go out drinking and partying every weekend? If yes, that's not something I really feel the need to do anymore.

TheRoadDog

Okay, So my daughters father who is 31 is now dating his second teenager. His first one was last year and she was 17 he was 30 at the time. Now at 31 he is dating an 18yr old. I have said nothing to him, but I find it a wee bit odd that a man of his age cant find someone his own age.

But on the same hand my cousin is 26 and dating a man who is 58.

Again I find this odd, but now curious....whats the youngest/oldest person you've dated and how did that work out?

31? Dating a 17 yr old? An 18 yr old? That would get him shot in my home.

seehawkmomma

I was married to someone 19 years older...It ended in divorce. I really dont think it was the difference in age that was the problem though. Age can be just a number. But when you are on the verge of statutory rape or child molestation, EWWWW.

Thank you, thats how I feel.

I used my big girl words when telling him this. But "gross" described it.

Not so much with my cousin because she is 26....she has lived a quarter of a century.

seehawkmomma

It's all subjective, so long as he's not dating a child. Granted I myself have issues with anyone in their 20s as I feel that that is too young for me since most 20 somethings still have to party whenever they can and I'm past that.

The youngest I've attempted to date was a 23 year old when I was 32. She had a masters degree. It didn't work out because she didn't want to settle on one person yet as she was 23 and had a lot of screwing around to do.

The oldest I've dated was 50 when I was 31 and the age difference was too much for me.

I try for 10 years older max and if I'm going to go younger I take life into consideration.

1) do they want kids? I don't want anymore kids. If they already have them that's cool, I just don't want to father anymore.
2) do they need to go out drinking and partying every weekend? If yes, that's not something I really feel the need to do anymore.

Okay but your 34. Would you consider a 18yr old? If she didnt want to party of have kids?

jenn_is_trouble

When I was 18, I started dating a 25 year old. Our conversations went something like this:

Me: I just graduated high school
Him : I have a mortgage

We had nothing in common other than we had great sexual chemistry together. Once we both realized that that was all we had in common, we ended it. I mean, you can't base a real relationship on sex alone.

My husband is almost 23, I am going on 28. We first met when he was 17. I had no clue he was so young until I had already developed a head over heels crush on him. His friends made of fun me: calling me Mrs. Robinson. We've been together now for 5 years, married for 4 months.

I think things really depend on the person, level of maturity, etc.

katkins3

I was 45 when I married my husband, who was 30 at the time. Now I'm 61 and he is 46. Wouldn't trade him for anyone else on earth.

KimmieBrie

I've gone down 5 yrs when I was in my 30s and up 10 years in my 20s. My husband is 5 yrs older. I think it all depends on the maturity levels. A 31 year old dating a 17 or 18 year old teenager in my opinion isn't a mature man, he's a boy and is seeking someone on his level.

seehawkmomma

Okay, So my daughters father who is 31 is now dating his second teenager. His first one was last year and she was 17 he was 30 at the time. Now at 31 he is dating an 18yr old. I have said nothing to him, but I find it a wee bit odd that a man of his age cant find someone his own age.

But on the same hand my cousin is 26 and dating a man who is 58.

Again I find this odd, but now curious....whats the youngest/oldest person you've dated and how did that work out?

31? Dating a 17 yr old? An 18 yr old? That would get him shot in my home.

i am assuming these girls have no daddys that have guns...hence them dating him.

Just assuming.

auticus

Okay but your 34. Would you consider a 18yr old? If she didnt want to party of have kids?

Such a creature does not exist. More than likely no I would not but that has to do with the fact that my own daughter is 14 and that is creepy to me.

My ex gf was 18 when she married her 39 year old husband. It's more common than you might think.

TheRoadDog

Okay, So my daughters father who is 31 is now dating his second teenager. His first one was last year and she was 17 he was 30 at the time. Now at 31 he is dating an 18yr old. I have said nothing to him, but I find it a wee bit odd that a man of his age cant find someone his own age.

But on the same hand my cousin is 26 and dating a man who is 58.

Again I find this odd, but now curious....whats the youngest/oldest person you've dated and how did that work out?

31? Dating a 17 yr old? An 18 yr old? That would get him shot in my home.

i am assuming these girls have no daddys that have guns...hence them dating him.

Just assuming.

Raised 3 girls. Never had any difficulty running off someone undesirable. Not difficult for me anyways. And I never had to pull a pistol.

seehawkmomma

Okay but your 34. Would you consider a 18yr old? If she didnt want to party of have kids?

Such a creature does not exist. More than likely no I would not but that has to do with the fact that my own daughter is 14 and that is creepy to me.

My ex gf was 18 when she married her 39 year old husband. It's more common than you might think.

He has a daughter who is 15. I would think he would find it "creepy" as well.

I thought at 31 too young to have a mid life crisis.

I really don't care who he dates. He isn't a figure in my daughters life so I am not worried about it. But I am really curious how often this happens. If I was 17 I wouldnt look twice at dude who was over 30 and had a kid.

kapeluza

Okay but your 34. Would you consider a 18yr old? If she didnt want to party of have kids?

Such a creature does not exist. More than likely no I would not but that has to do with the fact that my own daughter is 14 and that is creepy to me.

My ex gf was 18 when she married her 39 year old husband. It's more common than you might think.

He has a daughter who is 15. I would think he would find it "creepy" as well.

I thought at 31 too young to have a mid life crisis.

I really don't care who he dates. He isn't a figure in my daughters life so I am not worried about it. But I am really curious how often this happens. If I was 17 I wouldnt look twice at dude who was over 30 and had a kid.

What do your daughters think of this?

seehawkmomma

Okay but your 34. Would you consider a 18yr old? If she didnt want to party of have kids?

Such a creature does not exist. More than likely no I would not but that has to do with the fact that my own daughter is 14 and that is creepy to me.

My ex gf was 18 when she married her 39 year old husband. It's more common than you might think.

He has a daughter who is 15. I would think he would find it "creepy" as well.

I thought at 31 too young to have a mid life crisis.

I really don't care who he dates. He isn't a figure in my daughters life so I am not worried about it. But I am really curious how often this happens. If I was 17 I wouldnt look twice at dude who was over 30 and had a kid.

What do your daughters think of this?

Sorry I only have one daughter

And she is 4. He met the 17yr old but she thought she said nothing of it.

Now we live miles away. She only sees the pictures of him. I prefer for her not to know things she shouldnt. I keep these opinion of his jail bait girlfriends away from her.

UponThisRock

Age differences aren't a big deal when you're both young. 22-42 isn't a big deal, but if you marry that person 55-75 will be a big deal.

As far as casual flings, I'm all for it.

MinnieInMaine

A friend of mine dated way older guys (in their 20s & 30s) ) when we were in high school and even then I thought it was a bit weird. She was all about finding someone fun and cute though and didn't care too much about the long term. My hesitation was probably as much for relationship reasons as for knowing my mother would kill me AND him.

However, I do think it's different when you're older. Most teenagers have no clue about life, no real experience, knowledge, etc. (which is why Mom would've hated it - she was always worried about some guy manipulating me into doing stuff I didn't want to). But once you're in your 20's and older, you've got a better idea of what you want out of life and if you happen to link up with someone older and it works, more power to you. If I was single again, I could totally see myself dating an older guy but not someone with kids my age - that just seems creepy regardless of how old you are.

midwifekelley2350

Okay, So my daughters father who is 31 is now dating his second teenager. His first one was last year and she was 17 he was 30 at the time. Now at 31 he is dating an 18yr old. I have said nothing to him, but I find it a wee bit odd that a man of his age cant find someone his own age.

But on the same hand my cousin is 26 and dating a man who is 58.

Again I find this odd, but now curious....whats the youngest/oldest person you've dated and how did that work out?

31? Dating a 17 yr old? An 18 yr old? That would get him shot in my home.

yep...ours too! and we have guns!

CoryIda

I was 17 when I got pregnant with my son... the bio-dad was 28. In hindsight? Creepy gross - I was underage.
At 20, I dated a 35 year old man and, honestly, it wasn't icky - at least I was legal and, as a parent already, more mature than most 20 year old women.
My hubby is 8 years older than I am (I'm 27, he's 35) and I think that's the perfect age difference for us. Is it ideal for everyone? Obviously not. Does it work for us? Absolutely.

seehawkmomma

A friend of mine dated way older guys (in their 20s & 30s) ) when we were in high school and even then I thought it was a bit weird. She was all about finding someone fun and cute though and didn't care too much about the long term. My hesitation was probably as much for relationship reasons as for knowing my mother would kill me AND him.

However, I do think it's different when you're older. Most teenagers have no clue about life, no real experience, knowledge, etc. (which is why Mom would've hated it - she was always worried about some guy manipulating me into doing stuff I didn't want to). But once you're in your 20's and older, you've got a better idea of what you want out of life and if you happen to link up with someone older and it works, more power to you. If I was single again, I could totally see myself dating an older guy but not someone with kids my age - that just seems creepy regardless of how old you are.

My Cousins boyfriend is older than her own father....and has a kid who is two years older than she is.

To me that would make a family dinner a little awkward

But shes insanely happy with him so good for her.

But at 31 I can only guess he is just looking for a fun time himself with a girl who is that young.

modernsoul

My first husband was 9 1/2 years older than me and we were married for all of one year. It all depends on the people and where they are in their lives I guess. I've dated a guy six years younger than me (ended miserably), dated a guy 13 years younger than me (fun while it lasted) and ended up marrying a guy 3 years younger than me. Now that I think about it, I never dated older after my first husband. Must have been for a reason. LOL Anyway, a 30-something year-old male dating a 17/18 year-old girl is just creepy to me.

I also have a 19 year-old son who seems to be dating 16 year old girls and I get it. What 18 or 19 year old girl wants to date a 19 year old? I know I didn't when I was that age. Girls mature faster and I bet your exes new girl will move right on past his maturity level and he'll be onto the next 17 year-old that he can hook up with.

BrandNewMia

I've always dated older guys... I was 16-17 dating 22-23 year olds. Liike CoryIda, I didn't think anything of it THEN - but now that I can look back, yeah, kinda creepy. These were guys that pursued ME, knowing I was a high school student. Feels a little icky to think about it.

Anywho... I am 31 and my husband just turned 47. We were 23 and 38 when we met. By the time I was 23, I had been living on my own for 5 years, I was a grown up, done partying, and I was so ready to settle down and have a family. He was in the same place that I was - he just took a little bit longer to sew his wild oats We're perfect together and very happy, the age difference isn't noticable unless we're talking about fashions and TVs shows that were popular when we were each growing up :laugh:

cobracars

Since I've been married 26 years to someone 18 years older than me, I guess I'd have to say at least 18 years age difference is okay.

But not if you are 30 and the other person is 12 :bigsmile:

cabaray

Having 2 daughters, I have to say I'd kill him with my bare hands. I don't think big age differences are bad when the younger of the two is mid 20's, but a 17 year old...was she even out of high school? Gross!

seehawkmomma

But not if you are 30 and the other person is 12 :bigsmile:

Yeah, I think they have laws against that

seehawkmomma

But not if you are 30 and the other person is 12 :bigsmile:

Yeah, I think they have laws against that

LuckyLeprechaun

Husband is 19 years my senior, on the calendar, but about ten years younger than me, in maturity LOL

Once the partners are of legal drinking age, I have no issues. From 18-21, you're still such a youngster I'm afraid that's a bit too young....I met hubby the week before I turned 22........

seehawkmomma

Having 2 daughters, I have to say I'd kill him with my bare hands. I don't think big age differences are bad when the younger of the two is mid 20's, but a 17 year old...was she even out of high school? Gross!

I havent asked. I would like to think so, but I wouldnt put it past him.

DenverKos

Since I've been married 26 years to someone 18 years older than me, I guess I'd have to say at least 18 years age difference is okay.

But not if you are 30 and the other person is 12 :bigsmile:

Age differences are one thing, but the age OF the people is something entirely different (as you demonstrated!!)
My husband is 7 years older than me - we've been married 9 1/2 years, but we didn't marry until I was 27 and he was 35. At that point, I already owned my own home and had a career and we had/have things in common. I don't see what a 31 year old can possibly have in common with a 17 or 18 year old....Unless, he's THAT immature (perhaps why he's your "ex"?)
Once the younger of the two is able to actually sit at the bar with you and have a drink!!! then the rules change.