Your Thought On Age Difference?

jennajava

Seriously, I don't think any teen should be dating.

Please elaborate on this logic.

jennajava

17=child. He's a pervert.

I think it just says more about his maturity.

tkb1985

So, if i have this right.. Your ex is 31, and he has (at least) 2 kids. 1 with you, who is 4, and one from a previous, who is 14?

Now that's sorted in my head! lol

Firstly, 17 / 18, is far to young for any grown man to date. Age differences are fine once both parties are grown, and know who they are... but 17 is a child, and 18 is pretty d*mn close.

Your ex sounds like a dream by the way :noway:

Secondly, my Dad (who is almost 60) is now married to his 3rd wife, who is about 20 years his junior. Now that doesn't worry me at all, both are adults, make each other happy, and have made an informed decision.

What does still get me a little is that she's only about 6 years older than my eldest (half) sister. Not a huge issue now my sis is coming up 40, it would have been horrible for her if my dad had met his wife when she was 15 and the woman was 21.

I think It's kind of 'extra' creepy when kids are involved. Your other half shouldn't be a sister / brother to your children. On a more sinister note, If your ex is looking at a 17 year old girl as girlfriend material, what on earth does he see when he looks at his 14 year old child? Is he going to start dating her friends next? Eurgh, just too gross.

Sorry, rant over.

ashlielinn

As long as she's 18, it's their choice.

My Dad was 15 years older than my mom, and they were soul mates in every way


Still, I can see how you'd think it's a bit creepy. Personally, I'd never date someone 13 years older than I!

seehawkmomma

So, if i have this right.. Your ex is 31, and he has (at least) 2 kids. 1 with you, who is 4, and one from a previous, who is 14?

Now that's sorted in my head! lol

Firstly, 17 / 18, is far to young for any grown man to date. Age differences are fine once both parties are grown, and know who they are... but 17 is a child, and 18 is pretty d*mn close.

Your ex sounds like a dream by the way :noway:

Secondly, my Dad (who is almost 60) is now married to his 3rd wife, who is about 20 years his junior. Now that doesn't worry me at all, both are adults, make each other happy, and have made an informed decision.

What does still get me a little is that she's only about 6 years older than my eldest (half) sister. Not a huge issue now my sis is coming up 40, it would have been horrible for her if my dad had met his wife when she was 15 and the woman was 21.

I think It's kind of 'extra' creepy when kids are involved. Your other half shouldn't be a sister / brother to your children. On a more sinister note, If your ex is looking at a 17 year old girl as girlfriend material, what on earth does he see when he looks at his 14 year old child? Is he going to start dating her friends next? Eurgh, just too gross.

Sorry, rant over.

There is a reason he is my ex.

He doesnt see his 14yr old child because he was really young when he "knocked" that girl up so he was not a father to that child. I actually did not find out about this child until two years into the relationship.

And to be clear he doesnt see either

Mom2rh

My STBX is almost 16 years older. He was always young at heart, for the most part, and the age difference didn't really hinder our relationship. We were married 20 years and in the last few years, I'm mid-40s, he's early 60s, I had started to notice age related issues. These, did not factor in the destruction of our marriage though. We have 2 kids together (17 and 8). He'd never been married before (and perhaps that should have been a red flag; I don't know). With my 8 year old, I'm one of the "older" moms and have a lot of younger friends. He's the age of some of my friends' parents. So that's a bit weird. Again, not a factor in our divorce. (The controlling behavior, various forms of abuse...THAT is why I finally punted him.)

When I'm ready to start dating, however, I am definitely going to be looking for someone closer to my age.

yoshi91610

Again I find this odd, but now curious....whats the youngest/oldest person you've dated and how did that work out?

I dated a man who was 32 yrs old when I was 19. It was a nice relationship and I really enjoyed it we dated for almost a year. It wasn't the right time for me though, but we ended things on good terms.

I really think you should be 18 or older to date someone that much older. I always say this though, if I wasn't happily married I wouldn't date anyone in their 20s. I am only 23.

Doulos24x7

Okay, So my daughters father who is 31 is now dating his second teenager. His first one was last year and she was 17 he was 30 at the time. Now at 31 he is dating an 18yr old. I have said nothing to him, but I find it a wee bit odd that a man of his age cant find someone his own age.

But on the same hand my cousin is 26 and dating a man who is 58.

Again I find this odd, but now curious....whats the youngest/oldest person you've dated and how did that work out?

31? Dating a 17 yr old? An 18 yr old? That would get him shot in my home.

He is sick in the head, he should be reported, arrested and prosecuted. Unreal what we tolerate.

rml_16

Okay, So my daughters father who is 31 is now dating his second teenager. His first one was last year and she was 17 he was 30 at the time. Now at 31 he is dating an 18yr old. I have said nothing to him, but I find it a wee bit odd that a man of his age cant find someone his own age.

But on the same hand my cousin is 26 and dating a man who is 58.

Again I find this odd, but now curious....whats the youngest/oldest person you've dated and how did that work out?

31? Dating a 17 yr old? An 18 yr old? That would get him shot in my home.

He is sick in the head, he should be reported, arrested and prosecuted. Unreal what we tolerate.

Prosecuted for what? In most states, the age of consent is 16 or 17. And if where he is, the age is 18, it's possible (unlikely, but possible) he is not having sex with the 17-year-old.

Suzieqt81

I have always dated older men. Its all in who you are but even at a young age when all my friends were into the cute guys of the latest boy band I was secretly crushing on Richard Gere, Keifer Sutherland, hell even his Dad!!! At 16 I found myself attracted to my friends Father. We ended up talking and had a really close relationship till I was 18 and at that point even closer. I still think he is a wonderful man, never creepy or pushing like some might think. He is now married to a woman younger than I. I remember at 14 I tried dating someone much older and my Mom freaked. I can only imagine how she felt at the most recent Christmas dinner when I brought the man of my dreams over to meet my family and he was as old as my Step Father. Yeah...but my Mom has a good 7 or so years on her husband so what could she say? I am 30 now and with someone 12 years older. You really cant tell at this age. I never had a Father complex like most assume although that does exist. I grew up with the most wonderful Dad a lady could ask for and I love him dearly. I guess its a mentality thing...Its not some new issue I mean there was a time when 10/12 year age difference was the norm.

Pochart

I was 45 when I married my husband, who was 30 at the time. Now I'm 61 and he is 46. Wouldn't trade him for anyone else on earth.

Wow, how can one make this happen, I am 36 but people still think I'm 28 tops hahaha (thank you Lord for my genes) guys always seem to pass on me for some reason, good for you! knowing it can happen makes me feel better I guess hahaha

seehawkmomma

Okay, So my daughters father who is 31 is now dating his second teenager. His first one was last year and she was 17 he was 30 at the time. Now at 31 he is dating an 18yr old. I have said nothing to him, but I find it a wee bit odd that a man of his age cant find someone his own age.

But on the same hand my cousin is 26 and dating a man who is 58.

Again I find this odd, but now curious....whats the youngest/oldest person you've dated and how did that work out?

31? Dating a 17 yr old? An 18 yr old? That would get him shot in my home.

He is sick in the head, he should be reported, arrested and prosecuted. Unreal what we tolerate.

Prosecuted for what? In most states, the age of consent is 16 or 17. And if where he is, the age is 18, it's possible (unlikely, but possible) he is not having sex with the 17-year-old.

She is 18. She is legal. I mean I get that she younger, but as far as being "reported" there is really nothing that could be done. And that seems unreasonable.

I think that her parents should step in.

The realstic POV I have is that because of the age difference I doubt this will last.

She'll realize that he is a loser because he is 31yrs old and hanging out with a teenager at one point. Among other things like have no ambition or drive. At some point this is bound to fail.

The only thing I would worry about is him getting her pregnant. Which would effect her more poorly than him.

Soon2BeMrsThomson

Well I'm 25 and my other half is 40 in April - 15 years older than me. I was 20 when we met and he was 35 so it was really no big deal as I liked older men so It's not a problem for us or a lot of people but we discussed yesterday and said that when the Millenium came around I was 13 and he was 27 - now THAT'S weird!! I think when the girl/boy is a teen it's just a bit weird.............

MaximalLife

Okay, So my daughters father who is 31 is now dating his second teenager. His first one was last year and she was 17 he was 30 at the time. Now at 31 he is dating an 18yr old. I have said nothing to him, but I find it a wee bit odd that a man of his age cant find someone his own age.

But on the same hand my cousin is 26 and dating a man who is 58.

Again I find this odd, but now curious....whats the youngest/oldest person you've dated and how did that work out?

31? Dating a 17 yr old? An 18 yr old? That would get him shot in my home.

He is sick in the head, he should be reported, arrested and prosecuted. Unreal what we tolerate.

ABSURD!
The lady he's dating IS AN ADULT!

MaximalLife

Okay, So my daughters father who is 31 is now dating his second teenager. His first one was last year and she was 17 he was 30 at the time. Now at 31 he is dating an 18yr old. I have said nothing to him, but I find it a wee bit odd that a man of his age cant find someone his own age.

But on the same hand my cousin is 26 and dating a man who is 58.

Again I find this odd, but now curious....whats the youngest/oldest person you've dated and how did that work out?

It's not odd.
Teenage girls of legal age are hot. That's when you ladies look the best you'll ever look.
At some point it becomes creepy though.

If a teen girl came on to me at age 47, my first reaction would be "what is wrong with this girl"?
But age 31? No problem if he can draw them in.

"Teenage girls of legal age are hot. That's when you ladies look the best you'll ever look."


Seriously? So, women age 18 and 19 are hot and then it's all downhill from there? What a slap to adult women.

Look at when most professional models are considered "over the hill". Just get real.

If a single guy in his early 30's can draw the young one, instead of getting all catty and jealous, be happy for them. After all. They are adults over the age of consent.

This should not even be a subject for discussion except that a bitter ex is sad to see her former lover move on to something better. That's the real issue here. It's just pure envy.

jaitken_22

Personally, I don't think it's right for a 30-odd year old to be dating someone 17/18 years old as I feel the 17/18 year old is far too young to be in a relationship with someone that age. But if it's say a 30-odd year old dating someone in their 50s for example, I don't see anything wrong with that cos at least they are more adult than the 17/18 year old. As long as they are happy that is the main thing, I don't see what is wrong with an age difference as long as the person is not too young.

bigdawg025

I dated someone who was 18 when I was 31... and someone who was 18 when I was 29... no big deal. 17... not so cool. That'll get ya jail time in some states. LOL It is what it is. My wife now is 31, and I am 39... works much better. :happy:

SLaw4215

my first husband was 13 years older than me and to this day he is still the love of my life

tiggilee

17 or 18 year olds have not yet fully formed the part of the brain that deals with long-term consequences. I think dating a 30+ year old at that age is unwise. As for your ex, I mean, REALLY? I could see possibly meeting one awesome younger girl and overlooking the age thing. But this looks like a pattern. I bet he likes the fact that he is so much older and most likely has the control / upper hand in the relationship. Personally, I don't think it is very healthy, and I think he needs to grow up.

Legs_McGee

My husband is 4 years older than me. The biggest age difference I've ever had in a relationship was a 25 year old that I dated when I was 19 .... but he was intellectually challenged so he seemed much younger.

From the teenager's perspective, I never understood wanting to date someone so much older. I had friends in high school who would crush on the teachers and flirt with them .... yuck, they all seemed old to me, even the ones in their 20s.

And even now as a 41 year old - I can't imagine wanting to date someone much older (or younger). Someone young enough to be my child or closer to my parents' age than my own? Creepy *shudder*

ravenwcatz

I am 25 and my boyfriend is 43. We've been together for awhile... not a great while, but long enough to have a good, stable relationship without all the rose-colored-glasses nonsense. We've got a good bit in common, we both enjoy good music (Though our opinions of what that constitutes sometimes differ), and good film. We're on a similar level, as far as intelligence goes, and have plenty of good, stimulating conversation. I've always preferred to date older than myself, and my most stable relationships were with people at least five years older than me.
When I was nineteen, I dated a 26 year old, and we were together for two years... ultimately, I realized that we had very little in common, and that he was more enamored with the person he wanted me to be, rather than the person I was. But we're still good friends, and we've both come to understand and not resent each other for not being the people we expected the other to be.

That being said, I have always acknowledged that my dating much older men is not without drawbacks. People tend to have a lot of complicated issues... Some people have been married and divorced, which leaves one with scars. Some people have never been married, which makes you wonder what about them is so resistant to that lifestyle. (Ultimately, that bothers me less than it probably should, as I have no intention of really settling in either, but it's a valid point to consider) Mostly, it just becomes a question of how much you are willing to deal with, and in return, how much of your youthful silliness is the other person willing to deal with?

kb455

In your ex's case, I think that's pretty skeevy. Its not the age difference that's sketchy, its the fact that she's still a teenager! In OTHER cases, I think if both parties are okay with the age gap, that's all that matters. My mom married someone ten years younger than her (I believe they were 27 and 37 when they got together) and they've been happily married over 10 years now.

EbonyEthereal

Actually, the age of consent only applies to people from the ages 16-24 in terms of a sexual relationship (in Florida anyway. I can't speak for anywhere else.) Sex with a 17 year old when you're 25 or older is still statutory rape.

livinginwoods

So, if i have this right.. Your ex is 31, and he has (at least) 2 kids. 1 with you, who is 4, and one from a previous, who is 14?

Now that's sorted in my head! lol

Firstly, 17 / 18, is far to young for any grown man to date. Age differences are fine once both parties are grown, and know who they are... but 17 is a child, and 18 is pretty d*mn close.

Your ex sounds like a dream by the way :noway:

Secondly, my Dad (who is almost 60) is now married to his 3rd wife, who is about 20 years his junior. Now that doesn't worry me at all, both are adults, make each other happy, and have made an informed decision.

What does still get me a little is that she's only about 6 years older than my eldest (half) sister. Not a huge issue now my sis is coming up 40, it would have been horrible for her if my dad had met his wife when she was 15 and the woman was 21.

I think It's kind of 'extra' creepy when kids are involved. Your other half shouldn't be a sister / brother to your children. On a more sinister note, If your ex is looking at a 17 year old girl as girlfriend material, what on earth does he see when he looks at his 14 year old child? Is he going to start dating her friends next? Eurgh, just too gross.

Sorry, rant over.

It is what you make it when you are close to age to your "step children". My husbands son is 5 years younger than I am. The same age of my little brother. But it's never been weird between us. We are friends. He is cool with it because his Dad is happy. That's what matters to him and I appreciate that there is no weirdness. I jokingly call him a my step-son but in no way do I ever think of him as that.

rml_16

Actually, the age of consent only applies to people from the ages 16-24 in terms of a sexual relationship (in Florida anyway. I can't speak for anywhere else.) Sex with a 17 year old when you're 25 or older is still statutory rape.

Every state has different laws. In New York, at 17, you're legal. Period.