Your Thought On Age Difference?

Options
245678

Replies

  • seehawkmomma
    seehawkmomma Posts: 815
    Options
    A friend of mine dated way older guys (in their 20s & 30s) ) when we were in high school and even then I thought it was a bit weird. She was all about finding someone fun and cute though and didn't care too much about the long term. My hesitation was probably as much for relationship reasons as for knowing my mother would kill me AND him.

    However, I do think it's different when you're older. Most teenagers have no clue about life, no real experience, knowledge, etc. (which is why Mom would've hated it - she was always worried about some guy manipulating me into doing stuff I didn't want to). But once you're in your 20's and older, you've got a better idea of what you want out of life and if you happen to link up with someone older and it works, more power to you. If I was single again, I could totally see myself dating an older guy but not someone with kids my age - that just seems creepy regardless of how old you are.

    My Cousins boyfriend is older than her own father....and has a kid who is two years older than she is.

    To me that would make a family dinner a little awkward :)

    But shes insanely happy with him so good for her.

    But at 31 I can only guess he is just looking for a fun time himself with a girl who is that young.
  • modernsoul
    modernsoul Posts: 148 Member
    Options
    My first husband was 9 1/2 years older than me and we were married for all of one year. It all depends on the people and where they are in their lives I guess. I've dated a guy six years younger than me (ended miserably), dated a guy 13 years younger than me (fun while it lasted) and ended up marrying a guy 3 years younger than me. Now that I think about it, I never dated older after my first husband. Must have been for a reason. LOL Anyway, a 30-something year-old male dating a 17/18 year-old girl is just creepy to me.

    I also have a 19 year-old son who seems to be dating 16 year old girls and I get it. What 18 or 19 year old girl wants to date a 19 year old? I know I didn't when I was that age. Girls mature faster and I bet your exes new girl will move right on past his maturity level and he'll be onto the next 17 year-old that he can hook up with. :wink:
  • BrandNewMia
    BrandNewMia Posts: 461
    Options
    I've always dated older guys... I was 16-17 dating 22-23 year olds. Liike CoryIda, I didn't think anything of it THEN - but now that I can look back, yeah, kinda creepy. These were guys that pursued ME, knowing I was a high school student. Feels a little icky to think about it.

    Anywho... I am 31 and my husband just turned 47. We were 23 and 38 when we met. By the time I was 23, I had been living on my own for 5 years, I was a grown up, done partying, and I was so ready to settle down and have a family. He was in the same place that I was - he just took a little bit longer to sew his wild oats :wink: We're perfect together and very happy, the age difference isn't noticable unless we're talking about fashions and TVs shows that were popular when we were each growing up :laugh:
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
    Options
    Since I've been married 26 years to someone 18 years older than me, I guess I'd have to say at least 18 years age difference is okay.

    But not if you are 30 and the other person is 12 :bigsmile:
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
    Options
    Having 2 daughters, I have to say I'd kill him with my bare hands. I don't think big age differences are bad when the younger of the two is mid 20's, but a 17 year old...was she even out of high school? Gross!
  • seehawkmomma
    seehawkmomma Posts: 815
    Options
    But not if you are 30 and the other person is 12 :bigsmile:

    Yeah, I think they have laws against that :wink:
  • seehawkmomma
    seehawkmomma Posts: 815
    Options
    But not if you are 30 and the other person is 12 :bigsmile:

    Yeah, I think they have laws against that :wink:
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    Options
    Husband is 19 years my senior, on the calendar, but about ten years younger than me, in maturity LOL

    Once the partners are of legal drinking age, I have no issues. From 18-21, you're still such a youngster I'm afraid that's a bit too young....I met hubby the week before I turned 22........
  • seehawkmomma
    seehawkmomma Posts: 815
    Options
    Having 2 daughters, I have to say I'd kill him with my bare hands. I don't think big age differences are bad when the younger of the two is mid 20's, but a 17 year old...was she even out of high school? Gross!

    I havent asked. I would like to think so, but I wouldnt put it past him.
  • DenverKos
    DenverKos Posts: 182
    Options
    Since I've been married 26 years to someone 18 years older than me, I guess I'd have to say at least 18 years age difference is okay.

    But not if you are 30 and the other person is 12 :bigsmile:

    Age differences are one thing, but the age OF the people is something entirely different (as you demonstrated!!) :wink:
    My husband is 7 years older than me - we've been married 9 1/2 years, but we didn't marry until I was 27 and he was 35. At that point, I already owned my own home and had a career and we had/have things in common. I don't see what a 31 year old can possibly have in common with a 17 or 18 year old....Unless, he's THAT immature (perhaps why he's your "ex"?)
    Once the younger of the two is able to actually sit at the bar with you and have a drink!!! then the rules change.
  • Sh1tsRainbows
    Sh1tsRainbows Posts: 1,227 Member
    Options
    i think it has to do with maturity level.. i was 25 and my bf was 18..both immature and still partying..now im 36 and hes...awe you can do the math LOL...but i think were on the same level..

    so im guessing maturity wise your 31 yr old ex is at the same maturity level as the 18 yr old...:drinker:
  • seehawkmomma
    seehawkmomma Posts: 815
    Options
    Maybe its just the way I was raised, but I've had several guys who are 19-22 age who have shown interest in me and immediately I had to be like "Awww No thanks". For me I couldnt even picture being with a guy who was 21. Thats so young. I have a kid, full time job, responsiblities, I feel like dating them I would take away years of stupid things they are supposed to experience.

    Not only that, but I just shut down I automaticly think "Okay dude just wants sex" or "We would have nothing in common"

    Even at 17 a dude who looked at me who was over 20 I'd be flattered of course but would be inimated by someone who my mother would have killed.

    I know that It can work. But I think at 17 or 18 its just so young. I was really young at 19 when I met him and he was 25.
  • Learning2LuvLindsay
    Learning2LuvLindsay Posts: 1,142 Member
    Options
    I had to read the 1st line like 3x LOL I thought he is dating his own second teenager :laugh:



    Haha! I thought the same thing!
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    Options
    my husband is 50. Im 37. Been married for 10 years.
  • ummlovelovesyou
    ummlovelovesyou Posts: 1,024 Member
    Options
    Age ain't nothin' but a number.
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    Options
    I was 18, he was 29.
  • seehawkmomma
    seehawkmomma Posts: 815
    Options
    I was 18, he was 29.


    just curious how did that work out for you?
  • yippeeskippee
    yippeeskippee Posts: 32
    Options
    Age difference really isn't that big of a deal, except for the 17 year old thing. That's not even legal age I don't think, except in other countries. But 18 and beyond, it can be a healthy relationship, I don't see anything weird.

    I myself am attracted to older men - older as in late 30s - 40s. Of course I'm 21 so it's not as much of a difference as what OP stated.

    Like ummlovelovesy said - "Age ain't nothin' but a number."
  • jmxxiiii
    jmxxiiii Posts: 231 Member
    Options
    He's dating younger girls because they are matched at the emotional maturity level...

    I was 19 when I met my husband, he was 27, we've been together for 5 years, married for 4 years in April.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    Options
    The OP's age difference seems like a lot, just because they seem like in different places. If you added twenty years on the girl, it probably wouldn't be bad. It's not even the age, it's where you are in life that affects it.

Categories