What ARE the dating rules?

jennifer2977

ha I'm a taurus too.

Rules hmm.

If you call too soon you are clingy.
If you call too late you aren't interested.
If you wait X dates before kissing you are too uptight.
If you give it up right away you are not into serious relationships and just looking for fun.

If a guy likes you and flirts with you but you do not find him attractive, he is creepy.
If a guy likes you and flirts with you and you find him attractive, he is charming.

I think that about sums up the major points.

Ahhh!!! I was just gonna type this too! BUT with these changes: If a girl likes you and flirts with you but you do not find her attractive, she's psycho and drama.
If a girl likes you and flirts with you and you find her attractive, you send her pics of your erect penis, because that is what she really wants.

LMBO!

La_Amazona

The rules get you into game play area and just cause issues. So - No Rules!
Except maybe the 3rd date rule.

What's the 3rd date rule???

no sex until the 3rd date - or a guy will expect sex on the 3rd date, it differs!

Pshshshs that is NOT happening! 3 dates? I barely know his last name!!

Smuterella

You know what, I've just started dating after a long break, and I was VERY disappointed to discover the third date rule. I mean, you want to get the first go at bumping uglies out the way as early as possible, surely. I don't want to waste three dates on someone to find out that they fumble or can't get it up or wear "amusing" underwear.

I literally had to drag the last one back to my flat on the 4th date.

Whatever happened to just getting drunk and pouncing on someone? All my relationships started that way. Sigh.

Kirsty_UK

Whatever happened to just getting drunk and pouncing on someone? All my relationships started that way. Sigh.

hahahaha

it was the 3rd date with my husband (or could have been 4th, but close too it) and I remember feeling a bit "forward" about it, but it felt right

the_journeyman

The rules get you into game play area and just cause issues. So - No Rules!
Except maybe the 3rd date rule.

What's the 3rd date rule???

no sex until the 3rd date - or a guy will expect sex on the 3rd date, it differs!

Pshshshs that is NOT happening! 3 dates? I barely know his last name!!

Sounds like you've got things good to go. Get out there and have fun!

JM

_binary_jester_

You know what, I've just started dating after a long break, and I was VERY disappointed to discover the third date rule. I mean, you want to get the first go at bumping uglies out the way as early as possible, surely. I don't want to waste three dates on someone to find out that they fumble or can't get it up or wear "amusing" underwear.

I literally had to drag the last one back to my flat on the 4th date.

Whatever happened to just getting drunk and pouncing on someone? All my relationships started that way. Sigh.

I can't like this statement enough

mikeyrp

I've been with the same girl (now my wife) since 1999, but I have a few friends who are dating now and I can give you one really simple piece of advice:

Men are dumb.

Seriously, we are very, very basic.

If a guy likes you, he will tell you and he will make an effort to keep in contact with you. If he doesn't, he probably wont get back to you - or if he has any balls he will tell you that he likes you but doesn't want to take things any further.

Men DO play games - but there are only three games we play.
Game 1: I like this girl and I want her to go out with me, so I will act the way I think she wants
Game 2: I want to sleep with this girl (and maybe some others) , so I will act the way I think she wants
Game 3: I want a long term relationship, so I must be myself and hope that the girl I like likes me.

My only conclusion is that if you are looking for 'Game 3', you should look for someone who is comfortable being themselves.

emy10284

1-Cardio
2-The Double Tap
3-Beware of Bathrooms
4-Wear Seat Belts
5-No Attachments
6-The “Skillet”
7-Travel Light
8-Get a Kick *kitten* Partner
9-With your Bare Hands
10-Don’t Swing Low

yes these !! at least i think so

christine24t

I went out with a guy twice... He seemed to be really into me. We kissed in the rain after the 2nd date.

Then the next night my bff and I went out and my drunk *kitten* drunk dialed him at like 3:30am! :noway: Well I texted him (he's up late usually) and then I asked him to call me. He did. We talked for about 15 minutes. I told him I wasn't drunk just wanted to hear from him. Ha!
But after that I noticed he pulled away some. Granted, we've hung out a couple of more times after that but I don't know... it's confusing!

Would that turn you guys off? Did I make myself look psycho?

Honestly? I wouldn't say psycho but definitely that you're very interested. Some guys like to "chase" girls so next time I would leave your cell in the car, or if you have a smart phone install one of those apps where you have to do math or a puzzle when you want to make a call late at night.
If you haven't read He's Just Not That Into You, that's a great read!

Read it! I was rereading it last night lol.

I did leave my cell in the car. I called him when we were driving home. I regretted it the next morning but eh, I did want to hear him! Plus we had kissed the night before... IN THE RAIN!

I'm glad you are reading it! I think it's such an interesting book.

La_Amazona

I've been with the same girl (now my wife) since 1999, but I have a few friends who are dating now and I can give you one really simple piece of advice:

Men are dumb.

Seriously, we are very, very basic.

If a guy likes you, he will tell you and he will make an effort to keep in contact with you. If he doesn't, he probably wont get back to you - or if he has any balls he will tell you that he likes you but doesn't want to take things any further.

Men DO play games - but there are only three games we play.
Game 1: I like this girl and I want her to go out with me, so I will act the way I think she wants
Game 2: I want to sleep with this girl (and maybe some others) , so I will act the way I think she wants
Game 3: I want a long term relationship, so I must be myself and hope that the girl I like likes me.

My only conclusion is that if you are looking for 'Game 3', you should look for someone who is comfortable being themselves.

:noway:

Maybe my guy is just dumb. He's very innocent like.. or maybe he's a good damn liar. Or maybe I'm the innocent one (whaa?).

the_journeyman

Maybe my guy is just dumb. He's very innocent like.. or maybe he's a good damn liar. Or maybe I'm the innocent one (whaa?).

My wife and I thought the other one was all innocent and all. It took a couple weeks, but it all worked out, hence going from the dating thing to married!

JM

benzzito

the rule is simple : enjoy yourself and have fun but never do something that goes against your principles.

Munque

You know what, I've just started dating after a long break, and I was VERY disappointed to discover the third date rule. I mean, you want to get the first go at bumping uglies out the way as early as possible, surely. I don't want to waste three dates on someone to find out that they fumble or can't get it up or wear "amusing" underwear.

I literally had to drag the last one back to my flat on the 4th date.

Whatever happened to just getting drunk and pouncing on someone? All my relationships started that way. Sigh.

I can't like this statement enough

LMAO, love it! Slept with my now husband on our first date because he was so skinny and I was afraid that everything on him would match.... So glad I was wrong.

mikeyrp

Sex can be a great ice-breaker...

kyle4jem

1. Keep them away from bright light
2. Don't get any water on them
3. Never, never ever feed them after midnight.

Yes... these are the definitive set of rules....

:laugh: :glasses: :smokin:

vanessaclarkgbr

So I took this from the other thread. I'm new to dating. I've gone out several times with several guys. It's fun but about one of the most nervewrecking things ever! I am impatient by nature so I have a feeling I'm not following the "rules". I'm such a newbie at this that I even googled "dating rules" to find out what they're all about. Of course a million things came up and I got overwhelmed. I've been out of the game for 11 years!!

What are the rules that I need to know??

And yes, for me, I probably will break the rules because if I like someone, I can't hide it. But not everybody lives like me. A guy I could be totally into could be totally into RULES. I need to learn something new today! :bigsmile:

I can't do rules, I'd never remember them anyway. I was out of the game for 13 years, and my rules were - never over commit to 'be nice', you're going to have to let them down at some stage anyway, don't get too drunk (unless you don't want to see them again anyway), don't let them have your home address or home telephone number until you've established they aren't a crazy (making statements at the police station every Saturday morning gets dull and old quickly), and don't tuck your dress into your pants - good luck, and have fun! x

Smuterella

I just don't get why women are looked down on for wanting sex on a first date, I mean, really, its 20-****ing-12 people. Women enjoy sex, most of them really, really enjoy it - if the other party has any skill anyway...

La_Amazona

So I took this from the other thread. I'm new to dating. I've gone out several times with several guys. It's fun but about one of the most nervewrecking things ever! I am impatient by nature so I have a feeling I'm not following the "rules". I'm such a newbie at this that I even googled "dating rules" to find out what they're all about. Of course a million things came up and I got overwhelmed. I've been out of the game for 11 years!!

What are the rules that I need to know??

And yes, for me, I probably will break the rules because if I like someone, I can't hide it. But not everybody lives like me. A guy I could be totally into could be totally into RULES. I need to learn something new today! :bigsmile:

I can't do rules, I'd never remember them anyway. I was out of the game for 13 years, and my rules were - never over commit to 'be nice', you're going to have to let them down at some stage anyway, don't get too drunk (unless you don't want to see them again anyway), don't let them have your home address or home telephone number until you've established they aren't a crazy (making statements at the police station every Saturday morning gets dull and old quickly), and don't tuck your dress into your pants - good luck, and have fun! x

I like your rules. So far I have rejected nicely and the guy still wants to be my friend (yay me!). I even did it in person!!! I was always evil or no good at rejecting someone. Also, I went out with a guy whom I thought was cute but we didn't hit it off. I mean, I got asked out by another dude right there DURING our date.. so I guess the other dude could see the dead sparks as well. I think I annoyed my date because I'm a funny gal (haha), and I just didn't feel it. It bothered me that HE obviously wasn't into me but I took the rejection pretty darn well. If I had been into him like that, maybe not.
Then with the guy I'm talking about, I'm not crazy about him honestly. But he's sweet and attractive. I had pretty much decided to move on from him because but somehow we ended up out again- twice.

I don't connect easily with others- at all. It's rare to find a guy whom I connect with completely and who gets me. Hence why I don't have sex and why multi-dating/ casual dating is blah to me. In my whole life, I have connected with 2 people completely. My ex husband was NOT one of them.

I'm not from this planet, I think.

La_Amazona

I just don't get why women are looked down on for wanting sex on a first date, I mean, really, its 20-****ing-12 people. Women enjoy sex, most of them really, really enjoy it - if the other party has any skill anyway...

Oh I enjoy sex. I enjoy it very much. But I have issues. I am one of those that can get very attached after sex. And since I'm not finding anybody worth me attaching to, I'm skipping out on the sex.

Back in the day when I was younger, it seemed easier to just bang but for me, great hot sex comes when I have great chemistry with someone and for ME, it takes a bit to build that up.

Trust me, I wish I could just have hot sex with someone!!! I envy you!

Bigaug

If you tell a date to "Pull my finger" you better 1) be able to deliver the goods 2) know in advance if you want to continue dating someone who acts all grossed out by it.

vanessaclarkgbr

I just don't get why women are looked down on for wanting sex on a first date, I mean, really, its 20-****ing-12 people. Women enjoy sex, most of them really, really enjoy it - if the other party has any skill anyway...

Oh I enjoy sex. I enjoy it very much. But I have issues. I am one of those that can get very attached after sex. And since I'm not finding anybody worth me attaching to, I'm skipping out on the sex.

Back in the day when I was younger, it seemed easier to just bang but for me, great hot sex comes when I have great chemistry with someone and for ME, it takes a bit to build that up.

Trust me, I wish I could just have hot sex with someone!!! I envy you!

Definitely with you there. So unless hammered (and single) and not even going to remember what colour hair they had, I just wouldn't bother :-) Nowt to do with what nice girls do and don't :-)

Smuterella

Oh, I do get attached, terribly so - but only if the sex is good, so it usually works out OK. I've never had a one night stand, well aside from one where I didn't want to see them again, all my long term relationships (I'm talking 6yrs, 3 yrs, 2 yrs) have come from sex straight away. Meh, horses for courses I guess. I just know that life is too short, for me, to risk falling for someone and then finding the sex is a disappointment. :-)

Smuterella

And my comment was a general one, aimed at the general belief that women who "put out" earlier are somehow tainted than at an individuals personal choice.

La_Amazona

Oh, I do get attached, terribly so - but only if the sex is good, so it usually works out OK. I've never had a one night stand, well aside from one where I didn't want to see them again, all my long term relationships (I'm talking 6yrs, 3 yrs, 2 yrs) have come from sex straight away. Meh, horses for courses I guess. I just know that life is too short, for me, to risk falling for someone and then finding the sex is a disappointment. :-)

see last time i was doing this.. it was with boys. they were 18-20 years old so they just wanted to bang.

i wonder if at our age now, it's different with men in their early 30s. who knows but i guess i'm scared to get hurt so i rather not go there.

maab_connor

I just don't get why women are looked down on for wanting sex on a first date, I mean, really, its 20-****ing-12 people. Women enjoy sex, most of them really, really enjoy it - if the other party has any skill anyway...

b/c even in 2012, we're called sluts for acting like men when it comes to sex.

Smuterella

Sweeping generalisation alert:

Oh, I don't think men lose the just wanting to bang thing, but yes, there seems to be a dating window - those around 30-45 do seem to want relationships, those over 45ish seem to want to stay single forever (usually have a hard divorce behind them I think).

The problem I'm having though is all the men I meet over 30 want or already have children and frankly I really don't like young humans. The idea of having to live with one for 18 or so years terrifies me.

Smuterella

I just don't get why women are looked down on for wanting sex on a first date, I mean, really, its 20-****ing-12 people. Women enjoy sex, most of them really, really enjoy it - if the other party has any skill anyway...

b/c even in 2012, we're called sluts for acting like men when it comes to sex.

I wonder if that will ever change, sigh.

maab_connor

I just don't get why women are looked down on for wanting sex on a first date, I mean, really, its 20-****ing-12 people. Women enjoy sex, most of them really, really enjoy it - if the other party has any skill anyway...

b/c even in 2012, we're called sluts for acting like men when it comes to sex.

I wonder if that will ever change, sigh.

i sure hope so. but we're our own worst enemies.

ItsCasey

I just don't get why women are looked down on for wanting sex on a first date, I mean, really, its 20-****ing-12 people. Women enjoy sex, most of them really, really enjoy it - if the other party has any skill anyway...

ETA: This is not directed at LisaSmuts. Just to women in general ... it seems there are a lot more who can't REALLY do a one-night stand than those who can.

What year it is has nothing to do whether it's okay or not okay to sleep with someone on the first date. If you think it's okay, then it's okay ... for you, not necessarily for everyone else. If you know you can't get up and walk away and not care if he ever calls again, then, for Pete's sake, keep your pants on and don't be one of those dumb chicks who think putting out will keep a guy around.

Smuterella

I totally get that, that isn't what I was saying AT ALL. I was referring to the so called third date rule, which carries with it the inference that men do not respect women who have sex before the third date.