Is he trying to sabotage me!

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kelzz33z
kelzz33z Posts: 17 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Ok I need to turn the will-power up by about 500%, husband brought home bakery large cinnamon rolls,
Pop tarts, mini donuts. Again I know I should be able to not eat this just because it’s in my house, but it’s hard. The pop tarts being the worse, not sure why those darn iced pastries but they seem to call out my name, “Kellie come and eat me….” I know very sad. I will just need to take it one minute at a time and see how I can do.
He knows that poptarts are my weakness and he hasn't bought them in forever, until the last 2 weeks, and I know he has seen me measuring out food, and watching and tracking every food that I eat.
I need help any suggestions, and I have already asked him not to buy that kind of stuff in the past when dieting.
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Replies

  • mctiernan
    mctiernan Posts: 51 Member
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    Just walk over, grab the junk and throw it in the garbage. I bet he wont come home with it again :)
  • NiciS72
    NiciS72 Posts: 1,043 Member
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    Just walk over, grab the junk and throw it in the garbage. I bet he wont come home with it again :)

    I totally agree.
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,280 Member
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    Just walk over, grab the junk and throw it in the garbage. I bet he wont come home with it again :)

    I totally agree.

    I don't agree. That would be very passive aggressive and will cause higher tension and issues between them.

    I am of the mind set that only YOU can sabotage yourself. This is our journey, not anyone elses. We have to do what is best for us, but we can not dictate the lives of those around us. Our weight loss journey should not be anyone elses. To force our views on others is just wrong.
  • gazzajam
    gazzajam Posts: 28 Member
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    Just walk over, grab the junk and throw it in the garbage. I bet he wont come home with it again :)

    Ditto, not a very supportive chap, is he insecure?
  • LabRat529
    LabRat529 Posts: 1,323 Member
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    Just walk over, grab the junk and throw it in the garbage. I bet he wont come home with it again :)

    Um. Yah... that's a good way to keep harmony in the marriage :/

    Look... your husband has a right to eat however he wants. If he's bringing home junk, than that's his right. He is not trying to sabotage you. He just wants to eat goodies. He doesn't feel like making the life-style changes that you're trying to make just yet.

    This 'sabotage' business that I keep seeing is silly. You're an adult. Eat it. Don't eat it. The real world is filled with all sorts of temptations. Think of this as good practice. If you can drive past Crispy Kreme when the hot light is on, you can ignore the donuts sitting on your counter.

    I am having a hard time with my diet right now too. I've clearly not mastered the art of self-control. But guess what? It's my own damned fault and it's nobody else.
  • ViolentShadows
    ViolentShadows Posts: 19
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    I feel the same as you. My partner is thin and so is my daughter. Every time i have tried to diet in the past he hasnt wanted to help. This time we sat down and talked about it. He knows my weakness is fizzy drinks and I used to drink about 3 big bottles a week at least. So the new year started and he now lets me have 2 cans of pop a day instead of how much i was drinking. The rest i drink is water. He cooks as I cant due to my illness so I never know what goes in to the food.

    You should tell your partner exactly how you feel and hope that he takes notice. Make him eat the things and see how he feels afterwards. Make him feel like you do and im sure he would soon turn around. Either that or waste the stuff like the other two have said. But that is a waste of money...
  • mollyonamission
    mollyonamission Posts: 268 Member
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    They have little 100 calories poptart bags they may help when u have a craving
  • carlie_carl
    carlie_carl Posts: 285
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    His behaviour with food detering you of your will power may be out of fearof losing you, im not love expert but im sure he isnt trying to sabbotage your diet intentionally, a good chinwag in deeper terms about your intentions and his should do wonders :)

    ps...your not the onlyone who has a weakness for tarts ;-) . . . . . strawberry pop tarts all the way :D
  • BlueObsidian
    BlueObsidian Posts: 297 Member
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    He knows that poptarts are my weakness and he hasn't bought them in forever, until the last 2 weeks, and I know he has seen me measuring out food, and watching and tracking every food that I eat.
    I need help any suggestions, and I have already asked him not to buy that kind of stuff in the past when dieting.

    While he may have seen you measuring your food, have you actually talked to him about what your goals are? My significant other has no real interest in nutrition or talking about food (he's never had a weight issue in his life), but he was more than willing to sit down and listen to what my goals are as far as my health. Once we talked, he directly asked what kinds of things he could do to help and support me.

    Don't assume that he knows what you are trying to do or that you are serious at your attempts to get healthy. Talk to him.
  • iKapuniai
    iKapuniai Posts: 594 Member
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    My husband LOVES to bring home Oreo cookies... and not just the minis, or small package, he'll bring the regular large bags of oreos and keep them right on the counter... and he takes SO long to eat them that they'll stay there for over a week. Same with pastries as well. He's from mexico, so it's custom for them to eat sweet breads/pastries in the morning with their coffee, and I've taken a liking (more like addiction) to them as well, but he buys them every other day so they're ALWAYS there.

    What *I* do is I ask him to hide it from me. Whether it be in the microwave, in the oven (I don't bake often lol), or in his closet of he has to lol Of course, my man is very secure and very supportive, so he'll happily oblige.

    Out of sight, out of mind... most times, anyway. Maybe ask your hubby to hide it from you because you're doing really well and you don't want to ruin it with a 200 calorie pop tart... or, in my case, 400 calories worth of delicious oreos lol Explain to him how important it is for you that you lose weight/eat healthy and that him bringing home goodies doesn't help you. Of course he IS free to eat whatever he wants and YOU need to learn how to control yourself, but marriage (relationships in general) is all about compromise and if he loves/supports you, he'll understand and maybe keep the goodies somewhere you can't find them, and not even tell you about it so you don't know that it's there.

    Good luck!

    Love and Alohas,
    Ihilani Kapuniai
  • Rainforst
    Rainforst Posts: 40 Member
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    I agree take the stuff and throw it out. Then tell him how it makes you feel. Don't keep inside.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,110 Member
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    Only you can control what goes in your mouth. They will not stop making these treats, and you cannot avoid them. Find a strategy that works for you and use it.

    I have a journal in which I write about my feelings. No one has access to it but me (it's on my computer.) When I am agry or tense or upset or frustrated or whatever negative emotion, I go there and write until I figure out where it is coming from. It works.


    Maybe ask him to hide them from you? I'm hoping he would agree to that. I doubt you can politely get him to stop buying things he loves.
  • empresslove13
    empresslove13 Posts: 48 Member
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    i agree. throw them out! or make him keep them in his trunk where you dont know where they are or something .. shoot! Couldnt he just buy ONE at the store and finish it before he gets home!?
  • blueretro
    blueretro Posts: 17
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    Why don't you have the occasional poptart and just count it in your daily calorie intake? You could even cut it into pieces and have it throughout the day. I think to deny yourself something you love is just a route to failure.
  • schiamos
    schiamos Posts: 3
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    DO NOT THROW THEM OUT. you should have a real conversation in which you explain to him that this is important for you and that you want him to be supportive, and if he absolutely must have these things in the house to please hide them from you because it is making it hard for you.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
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    I need help any suggestions, and I have already asked him not to buy that kind of stuff in the past when dieting.
    Don't expect him to remember what you asked him in the past, tell him now and make it clear that it's important to you.

    Tell him that having stuff like that in the house makes it tough for you, and that it makes you unhappy and that you want him to stop bringing it home at least until you get used to not eating sugary crap.
  • stef827
    stef827 Posts: 215 Member
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    I do not agree with just throwing it away. You are in a marriage and need to talk. However if he still chooses to eat those things that is his choice. Temptation will ALWAYS be there and you have to make your own choices. I do not believe your husband is trying to sabotage you. I too am married and my husband still eats junk sometimes, in fact I bake him things still because he doesn't need to or want to eat the way I do all of the time (he is a healthy weight) so I just choose to not eat it. Is it hard somedays? ABSOLUTELY but the choice is mine and I am responsible for my actions not my husband. Best of luck to you :)
  • Shoechick5
    Shoechick5 Posts: 221 Member
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    Unless he's holding you down and forcefeeding you, you are in control over what you eat. It's his house too. He has every right to eat what he wants. Yes, you're going to have to kick up your self control, but that's your problem, not his. Don't be a victim to food, own it.
  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 21,732 Member
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    The only person you can change is yourself. Sure, it would be easier if everybody around us decided to change their eating habits when we do, but that's not practical or realistic. Would you want someone to throw your food out? I know I wouldn't. I imagine your husband wouldn't either. My family didn't change their eating habits when I changed mine, and nobody could have made me change mine before I was ready. Likewise, nobody can keep me from my new way of eating just because it's not what they're doing.

    I've found the best way to resist the temptation of eating poorly is to make sure I have a plan to eat well first. If you're not hungry, your much less susceptible. So don't focus solely on what you're denying yourself. Focus first on what you're going to have instead. Hope that helps.
  • tmarie2715
    tmarie2715 Posts: 1,111 Member
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    Just walk over, grab the junk and throw it in the garbage. I bet he wont come home with it again :)

    Exactly. If he complains, show him that ridiculous ingredient list, that insanely high calorie count, the sugar... those are garbage. If he really needs something quick in the morning, help him find healthy and whole food alternatives.

    I found a version of "poptarts" you can make at home once online, too. I doubt they're hugely healthy, being a baked good, but you can make substitutions and should still allow yourself (and him, because it is hard living with a dieter!) some wiggle room.

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