Is he trying to sabotage me!

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  • PeaceLuvVeggies
    PeaceLuvVeggies Posts: 375 Member
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    Oh yeah, throw out the food because it doesn't matter that there are so many people in this world starving :)
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
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    Despite being a funny answer, throwing them out creates more of a problem.

    That's actually worse then him bringing them home as a treat, not realizing that it would hinder your progress.

    He's just tryin to be nice and thoughtful.
  • NorseMaiden
    NorseMaiden Posts: 95 Member
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    Why don't you have the occasional poptart and just count it in your daily calorie intake? You could even cut it into pieces and have it throughout the day. I think to deny yourself something you love is just a route to failure.

    I absolutely agree with this! I have yet to deny myself the things that I love to eat. I just eat smaller portions of it and add it into my calorie intake for the day. I know if my husband brought home things that he knew I liked and I threw them away he'd be hurt or worse yet...angry at the waste. Good luck to you.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    As an adult, I'd be annoyed if another adult expected me to worry about his or her food and meals. Yes, you need to "up your will power," as you well know. I'm sure 4 pages in, I'm not the first to suggest that your husband eats what he wants, and you eat what you want.

    That said, a way I avert these cravings is to brush my teeth. Everything seems to suck after I brush, and all I taste is mint. Also, I imagine anything I want to devour at the moment dipped in MFP-blue, thick paint. Not sure where I got that from, or why it has worked (long before MFP existed) but it just does. What I'm saying is, take the challenge to find what works for you. Maybe ask your husband to keep the treats somewhere away from you.
  • twyrm
    twyrm Posts: 22 Member
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    Why don't you have the occasional poptart and just count it in your daily calorie intake? You could even cut it into pieces and have it throughout the day. I think to deny yourself something you love is just a route to failure.

    I agree with this. Learning to eat well and achieve and maintain a healthy weight does not mean depriving yourself of all the foods you enjoy. Find a balance. Eat a poptart once in a while and log it in your diary. I've been married for 34 years. Throwing them out is probably not a good solution. Share your feelings and ask your husband to remember how you feel when he brings things like that home. He could just put them somewhere where they aren't under your nose.
  • jogglesngoggles
    jogglesngoggles Posts: 362 Member
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    My hubby is definitely NOT on the health food kick i'm on, so we have CRAP in the house. the other day as he and my children were eating said crap, I put a small piece aside and declared that I would have it on cheat day if I still wanted it. When cheat day came I enjoyed every bit of it, and didn't feel bad about it. I so wish he would jump on the band wagon, but until he does and even after he does, it's up to me to control myself.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Is it not possible for you to attempt a little moderation? Maybe just have a half a Pop-tart.
  • 4suz
    4suz Posts: 1 Member
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    He obviously is trying to tell you something but cannot verbalize it. You can eat a pop-tart, enjoy it and lose weight - it's all about control and writing it down. Drink a large water before you do. But talk to your husband and enlist his support. IF he wants to continue to bring in foods that you have trouble avoiding try using a sharpie marker and writing his name on all the junk you did not buy - that way you may see that it belongs to him. Good luck! You can do this!!
  • Mandypt
    Mandypt Posts: 173 Member
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    Why don't you have the occasional poptart and just count it in your daily calorie intake? You could even cut it into pieces and have it throughout the day. I think to deny yourself something you love is just a route to failure.

    This.

    No need to throw the stuff out. No need to cause issues in your marriage. This isn't a diet, it is a lifestyle change. It's pretty unreasonable to assume you'll never be faced with a pastry, cookies, candy or cake for the rest of your life. Making certain foods "off limits" will only cause resentment and result in binge eating later. If you REALLY want the pop tart, have it - but account for it in your daily calories. I have something sugary every single day (actually, I'm known for using up to 400 calories a day for "treats"). It makes me happy to be able to have treats each day and keeps me on track the rest of the time. I've lost nearly 60lbs and kept it off for almost 18 months by doing it this way. No need to go "all or nothing".


    amen sista
  • Shriffee
    Shriffee Posts: 250 Member
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    I understand completely!!! My husband can eat whatever he wants and DOES! He knows how hard it is for me to watch him eat my favorite foods, so he usually tries to buy junk that I don't crave as much.

    I agree that you should throw them away, as much as you would like to. This your decision to become healthy and you have to respect his decision not to. Just remember, every morsel you resist makes you that much stronger!
  • kiffypooh
    kiffypooh Posts: 1,045 Member
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    I have asked/told my hubby he can eat what he wants when he's not home. He keeps junk food in his truck and eats it away from home. I want him to eat healthy in front of our daughter (to be a good example) and he agrees. Maybe you can ask him to keep it in his vehicle.

    Best of luck, I know how you feel. After years of this my husband finally told me he was trying to sabotage me in the early time, he was afraid he would lose me when I lost weight and enjoyed things like walking, hiking and working out more than eating out, watching tv and being lazy.
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
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    In the beginning, it is hard to resist temptation and it's best to limit your time around the junk until you get in control of your cravings or appetite. Have a talk with him and explain that for now, you'd prefer he doesn't show you the items when he buys them and keep it in a separate area from where you see food. Only until you're able to resist it with pure willpower. Trust me, you'll eventually get there. You'll also get to a place where you can eat it in moderation without overeating and still lose the weight.
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
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    Just walk over, grab the junk and throw it in the garbage. I bet he wont come home with it again :)

    Um. Yah... that's a good way to keep harmony in the marriage :/

    Look... your husband has a right to eat however he wants. If he's bringing home junk, than that's his right. He is not trying to sabotage you. He just wants to eat goodies. He doesn't feel like making the life-style changes that you're trying to make just yet.

    This 'sabotage' business that I keep seeing is silly. You're an adult. Eat it. Don't eat it. The real world is filled with all sorts of temptations. Think of this as good practice. If you can drive past Crispy Kreme when the hot light is on, you can ignore the donuts sitting on your counter.

    I am having a hard time with my diet right now too. I've clearly not mastered the art of self-control. But guess what? It's my own damned fault and it's nobody else.

    ^^ This.
  • martalaurazayas
    martalaurazayas Posts: 75 Member
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    If he eats the things he bought then let it be. If he doesn't ever eat those things, tell him thank you and then take them to work and let all your co-workers enjoy breakfast on your hubby.
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
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    You could withhold marital favors until he stops trying to sabotage you.
  • avmp111
    avmp111 Posts: 2
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    I have asked the Burger King restaurant (which is a stones throw away from my house) to please close and move to a new location. As I know the world revolves around me. Everyone and everything in it needs to change because I have a problem with food. Come on......to ask my wife and kids not to eat ice cream, cookies, cake etc in their own home because I have a problem with those kinds of food. How selfish........but let me remember the world revolves around me.
    iT IS THEIR HOME AS WELL AS MINE AND THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO EAT (THE KIDS SUPERVISED) WHAT THEY WANT WHEN THEY WANT.
  • Rockstar_sister
    Rockstar_sister Posts: 65 Member
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    in my opionion, talk to him and tell him how much you really want to reach your goal. If he wants to be your support, he can not buy that type of food again. THEN, take the food that he bought, put it all in HIS bedside table....out of sight, out of mind....right? Then if it's something that has to be refrigerated - push it to the back of the fridge on the bottom shelf so you CAN'T see if when you open it without searching for it. :) Hope that helps!
  • langababy
    langababy Posts: 43 Member
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    Don't throw them away. Just put them in a cupboard where you can't see them (or can't reach them). That way they are still there for him to have, but will likely be less tempting for you.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    If you can drive past Crispy Kreme when the hot light is on, you can ignore the donuts sitting on your counter.

    So awesome it bears repeating.
  • CBM23
    CBM23 Posts: 36
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    Alright, here's my two cents.
    First of all, yes, others are right, only YOU can sabotage yourself. So I suggest that you try to prepare for these events of bring home junk food by maybe giving him his own cupboard or bin to keep his junk food in, and on the counter? That's where the fruits and low calorie snacks will go. You have to set yourself up for a win, it wont just happen.
    However, with that said I do still suggest talking to him. My boyfriend brings home everything from pizza to Pogo's to woppie pies.
    He's also a big fan of midnight McDonalds. So I do know how you feel. But I will tell from experience that keeping him updated on my progress and getting him excited when I succeed has really helped. When he sees me excited about my progress, and wanting him to be apart of it, it reassures him, makes him more cautious about what he exposes to me and makes him more health conscious about his own eating.
    It takes baby steps but you will find balance.

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