too embarassed......

Lorianny

Hi,
Believe it or not most people are usually happy to see a person out there exercising, No matter what shape they are, Probably sometimes feeling guilty that they themselves are not working out at the time. Do not be intimidated, Be proud that you are trying to change your lifestyle!
Now get those gym clothes on and hold that chin up high, And get out there!
Try not to think about anyone but yourself!
You go girl!

christina0089

Sweetie when I joined the gym I was just starting out and weighed well over 300 pounds. I knew there would be people who are immature enough not to be able to mind their business but then thats everywhere you go from the market to the gym and my thoughts on this is WHO CARES?!?! I thought to myself... They don't live my life, they don't know my struggles and I know I damn sure don't depend on them for my happiness so why give them the power to make me unhappy?!?! So I didn't and I won't ever this is my life, my journey. If I fail and have to start over then that's on me. If I choose to go to the gym and work my *kitten* off again that's on me! I don't need anyones approval and neither do you! Imagine how a 300+ pound woman looked in her excercise gear getting her zumba on... well that was me! And you know what? Surprisingly for every one person that stared or giggled 10 more encouraged. I lost more than 60 pounds. Due to some very odd life altering changes I got off track and gained weight. And yet here I am again and I start the gym again next week. The same Gym mind you and I am sure that the same people that were there before are there still and I know when they look at me they will know I back tracked but I also know that I am there because I am back on track. So don't let anyone take away from your self esteem or your focus on your journey to a healthier happier you! Keep your head up a smile on your face and determination on your mind! Love yourself enough to move forward and NEVER give anyone the ability to make you unhappy, NO one deserves that power!

PediDocChicago

I don't think you should feel embarrassed. Exercise is so important for your health, and you will find that MOST gyms (maybe not all) cater to people or all sizes or shapes. Maybe consider a women-only one? I used to go to an all girls gym, and I loved it - I felt like it was less judgmental and more supportive.
That being said, you can always start exercising at home until you feel more comfortable. I really liked Jillian Michaels 30 day shred (you can get it on i-tunes and watch on your computer, or get DVD). Its a short 20 minutes per day workout, very simple, you don't need any fancy equipment.

123456654321

I understand how you feel because I used to feel the same way myself. Thing is, none of it really even matters. What's the WORST possible thing that could happen? A group of young teenagers laugh at you? Call you names? It's all just words. If you keep up with your exercising and eating right, you will be the one with the last laugh....so who cares. Your current body is just temporary. You are on your way to a healthier you.....who cares what they think? By the end of next year you will be a beauty in those workout clothes! Just keep reminding yourself these things.

.....but honestly, most people are too busy with their own lives to really even notice you or what your doing. Get out there and move girl!

summersk

While I enjoy working out at home simply for the ease and flexibility it gives me (married with two children who I have to get up for school), I have used gyms before and I am no where near skinny. As a matter of fact when I was six months pregnant with my son and last child I got the wild hair to start Karate. Yes I took Karate while I was pregnant and made it to orange belt before I had my son, so I can completely understand the worries of staring issues. The gym I was in had open windows so people on the streets could look in and watch the classes going on at the time, I don;t know how many people would just walk in off the street and just to watch the pregnant lady do karate. I was embarrassed at first, but then I started looking at some of the people who were staring at me and wondering why they weren't up there doing it with me instead of watching me get hot and sweaty. So just think about this, if there is someone who is going to judge you for trying to better yourself, than what are they lying to themselves about? The act of putting someone else down is usually done so that they do not have to admit their own flaws. Go to that gym in whatever clothes you feel comfortable in and do your thing I'll be here in the U.S.A cheering you on and doing mine own thing in the process. Good luck to you, I know you can do this because if I can anyone can!

JennyG73

I felt that way before as well, but as so many others have said, everyone is there for the same reason and we all had to make that decision to start. I was always afraid that I'd use a machine wrong, or look silly using a light weight. But I realize now that nobody cares... we tend to be more sensitive and think people are watching or judging but really...we are the worst judges of ourselves and beat ourselves up too much.
I think you should try the gym. So many of them have deals where you get a free personal training session or a 1:1 with an employee to set you up with the machines and goals. Take advantage of it and you'll feel more confident going. Also, I know we have (and I teach one of them) starter classes at the YMCA. They are geared for people who have never taken the class before or are starting out on their journey. If taught correctly, the instructor should give tons of pointers to ensure that the class knows proper form, technique etc....AND to keep them interested and feeling welcome. Honestly, I teach 2 nights a week and one of the classes is a starter class and it's my favorite. I love getting people excited to cycle and work out. And I remember being the new person nervous and scared to take the class so I can relate.

But, that said...if you want to start at home first, check out this workout: http://www.self.com/fitness/workouts/2006/10/work-out-while-watching-tv-slideshow#slide=1 It has easy moves with no special equipment required.

Stay positive and good luck!!

cherbapp

Ok I skimmed a few comments and this was touched on already but I am going to say it again....

I felt exactly the same way when I would walk the mile loop in my neighborhood (somewhat rural...about 50 total homes)...like they are all looking at the chubbyneighbor trying to walk. Well, first of all, I have to think about when I see a heavy person walking...I don't laugh at them...I feel proud of them and I don't know them. And second...three months after starting...I am not that chubby...and in three more months, I will show any of the ones who actually did have a negative thought. It actually motivates me to finish what I started...the feeling that 50 families can see me....and are gonna see me get into shape.

Kind of a side note...I feel similar when I order a skinny mocha...like they are thinking WHY does chubby girl care....but I have decided it's so much better to have a few negative thoughts now from strangers in order to get to where I wanna be.

slmckenzie

I think it's a touch situation to be in, not only for you, but also for those around you at the gym.

As an example, the other night I was at the gym with my wife. I've been going there now for a bit under a year, and have lost a fair amount of weight. I feel much more comfortable in my workout clothes, running on the treadmill, etc. I feel more like a member, if that makes any sense.

However, while I was on the stationary bike, someone came in with her friend and hopped on the two bikes next to me. Her friend was skinny and in shape. However, the other girl was much larger, very overweight and out of shape. However, my initial reaction was not "Wow, why are you here? Aren't you embarrassed?" Rather, it was "Wow! I'm so excited to see you here, and I'm so glad that you've decided to take the first step to becoming healthy. Congratulations! I look forward to seeing you come again!"

Unfortunately, I could not go up to her and tell her how excited I was for her to be at the gym. It would be an extremely awkward situation, and it indirectly would tell her that I noticed she was larger and overweight. It was not something that would have been acceptable to do, even though it was with the best of intentions, and that I was incredibly excited to see her there, because I had been in that situation before and know what it was like.

So, in her situation, she had to rely on the comfort of her friend that she was with. That meant that she had to withstand any looks / stares, and hope that she didn't become too self conscious. It was hard, because I was excited for her, but it was not my place to say so. So to the original poster, if you go to the gym and feel self conscious, know that most people there don't even hardly pay attention to anybody else in the gym, and if they do notice you, they're probably super excited that you're taking the first steps to a healthier life!

vegancakelady

Hi - so many great replies to your original post! It must have given you the push you need to do what you need to do! It's making me want to go and and walk now.
Do the loud music thing and dance around your home, sining at the top of your voice. It really is great fun and works up a sweat. I love that.

10acity

Tons of people have already responded with some really encouraging stuff, but I felt the need to chime in, too. Because I also know how you're feeling. I still sometimes feel self-conscious walking my neighbourhood in jeans (and I'm only a size 12 these days!) when an obviously avid runner in Lycra passes me. But if I don't do the damn thing, I'll just be sitting at home on the sofa feeling sorry for and bad about myself-- and as a person who has done her fair share of both, I can tell you that risking a little embarrassment is the better option every time. EVERY time.

I find it helps to quash the negative/embarrassed thoughts with little pats on the back for getting myself up and out, for making an effort to change, for following through on all of the hundreds of times I've said I want to lose weight, be healthier, make better choices. Being there, no matter how many runners in Lycra pass by, is the better, healthier choice. It also helps to listen to very peppy, energizing songs like "M79" by Vampire Weekend, "Power" and "Stronger" [radio-edit] by Kanye West, and Colin Hay's "Beautiful World" for a cool-down. Music, for me, is key!

And I also see people like you out for walks or at the gym (who really are just people like I used to be) and I think, "Yeah! Get it, girl! You can do it!" It makes me smile in solidarity. So for every insecure moron who has to cut you down to make him/herself feel worthy, there is someone else like me (and many of these other posters), canceling them out by silently encouraging you and cheering you on. Think more often of us.

I'm currently working on "re-losing" some weight, trying to focus on how great I felt a year ago instead of on the failure of putting some of it back on. It is a constant psychological battle, but it's one you CAN win. And I can't even accurately describe for you the enormous freedom and accomplishment that come with taking a whip to the embarrassment, discouragement, and any other psychological road block to your health. Keep telling yourself it's worth it, and I promise you will find that it is.

Wottie72

I cant go out to excercise as I'm a mum to three young boys currently going through a divorce but I have a wii and that is how I excercise, if you can afford it I would recommend it, the best of the fitness games I have found is Zumba Fitness 2 and More Active Trainer. Be proud that you are doing something and if they look down there noses at you let them get on with it, we are all special and no-one should be judged on how they look. They are missing out on a very special person.

Also on some of the fitness games they give you a programme to excercise too and it keeps up the motivation, you'll be in the comfort of your home too.

EuphonyChloeH

Pretty soon after joining a gym you realize people are much more focused on themselves than other people. Focus on yourself and be proud that you're taking care of yourself, and other people at the gym won't matter one bit. In fact, maybe being around other people will start to inspire you rather than make you feel anxious

gabadabadoo

I took me a while to join a gym. I started exercising by just walking around the block (in my normal clothes or whatever). That's about all I could do when I started to exercise. I gradually increased it to 2 blocks, then 3. After about a year of this I tried my local ymca. I didn't feel any judgment there. All sizes and shapes and ages go the the y. It has been great. I just wore sweat pants and an old t-shirt when I began.

Oh yeah - this was a big help for me, too - If you are going to go to a gym, I find the YMCA gyms great because they are so supportive (staff and members), and there really are people of all shapes, sizes, ages, and abilities there! I've been to a few gyms in the past where it felt like a meat market, but when I moved to Melbourne, I happened to join a YMCA, and found it so friendly that when I moved again, I made sure the gym I joined was another Y - and it is the same vibe there, too.

PS - I am even heavier than you, and working to get to where you are now! We all have these challenges, and worries about what people think of us - but please don't let it stop you from living your life!

susanb573

You need to feel comfortable to exercise but you also need to break out of your comfort zone sometimes. I have seen morbidly obese people at the gym and never once thought anything bad about them or thought that they didn't belong there. If I even give anyone a second glance at the gym it's to think "good for them" or "oooh I wanna try that exercise". Most of them time, most people at the gym are pretty self-absorbed with what they are doing and ignore each other. And if you run into a moron who says something to you, you just know that that's not going to be your new best friend. Grab ahold of your courage and get out there. Don't let your weight and embarrassment become another excuse that gets between you and where you want to go.

doubglass

Don't be silly. The ones people laugh at are those that show up for two sessions and you never see again. If you stick with it no one will laugh.

thefuzz1290

You're better off staying away from "big box gyms" and concentrate on finding a smaller community gym. Gyms like Golds and LA Fitness (at least in my area) hire a bunch of snotty college kids to walk around flirting with the clientele. A local gym will feel more personable and they'll be more likely to help out (though stay away from hardcore body building gyms, just because of the intimidation factor).

Ideally find a gym that offers a free personal trainer for a day or two, or if you can afford it, hire one for a week to get you on the right track.

SouthernBeauty89

People can be really cruel now-a-days but honestly hon you are doing something that is going to better yourself! Who cares what they say, or do! You are there & doesn't matter if you can only stay on the treadmill 10 minutes or walk at a slow pace you are doing something that needs to be done! It's for you so stick some headphones in your ears, zone into your workout...6 months from now you will be walking into the gym like you own the place! Gotta start somewhere!!

mandycasey

Hi please don't be too embarassed, i know how you feel though. When i first started out i didn't feel comfortable outside my house, i got a wiifit and was using that most days also walked ran up and down the stairs whatever i could inside, I now go to zumba classes 3 times a week , do loads of walking and just starting up jogging. Good luck feel free to add me as friend xx

rc630

Ok, I consider myself to be a slim person (5'3", about 117 lb) and I have never been obese. You know what I think when I see a very overweight or obese person at the gym? I think "You go, girl/boy!" I would never laugh at someone who is obviously just starting out on their way to fitness; In fact it makes me happy to think that hopefully they'll start seeing results in the gym and with their body just like I did. So don't be embarrassed; be an inspiration to everyone else!

kimsciolino

You really should not feel that way, I do not believe that people at a gym would look at anyone that is out of shape in a bad way. They know you are there, dedicated and trying to get into shape and live a healthy lifestyle. And if someone does look at you in any other way it is because they are not happy with themselves...You need to keep pushing and do not let ANYONE hold you back.... Look how far you have come. You can do this...
Great Job on your weightloss so far.
Good Luck,
Kim