Seriously too young to give up, but yet i do...

themedalist

Human beings have an enormous capacity to change if they want to. You can choose a different path for yourself and a different outcome than the last time you lost weight. You can change if you want to.

It doesn't sound to me like you're quite there yet or nothing would be able to stop you. As another MFPer put it, "You can have excuses or results, but not both".

Kirsty_UK

What are you afraid of? If you succeeded somewhat before in making the changes then you know you can do it. If you have hit the point where you have had enough and think you are in the right mindset, what are you afraid of? Are you afraid of change, failure, success... What is holding you back? Change isn't gonna happen on it's own. You have to do it if you want it to happen. No one can do it for you. The only thing standing in your way is you. So what are YOU afraid of?

I think this hits the nail on the head. You appear to be scared of "failing" again. But if you don't treat this as a success or failure thing, you CANNOT FAIL. The only failure, is not trying. If you treat this as a gradual lifestyle change, every change you make is for the better, and every change is a success. If you make your goal to be healthier, not thinner, every food choice you make that is a better choice, every bit of exercise you do, is better than you were doing before. it's feeding your body better, and working your heart for better health and fitness.

thepetiterunner

You will not be able to lose the weight until you are ready, physically and emotionally. Most of us who have successfully lost weight did it after we came to the point of "enough is enough" and couldn't stand being overweight anymore. If you are not ready to fully commit to getting rid of the weight for good, then start making small changes until you are ready to truly lose the weight (honesty with yourself is key here). Small changes could be taking a one mile walk daily, or giving up soda, or even just starting to log your food in MFP to be aware of how many calories you are eating on a daily basis.

No one can lose the weight for you and it is a hell of a journey. Your head *has* to be in the game to succeed.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Getting healthy and fit is 90% attitude, 10% action. Your commitment is absolutely necessary.

hebert4806

I feel you! I'm 30 and 210 and 5'7 and I feel like a troll! I've never been successful at weight loss. I've just watched the numbers creep up over the years even though I'm really active. I've been exercising (not consistently) for years. I broke my arm ice skating a couple of years ago and gained 20 more pounds. I have been so discouraged, but I can't give up. I just can't. I'm now adding strength training to my routine of swimming. I am going to track my calories and be mindful of reducing the numbers. Hopefully, I can see results. Fingers crossed!

liseyicious

I am the same way. I start projects and then give up. It's stressful for me.

I realized that being overweight was having me fall more into depression and I desperately needed out.

Friend me and let's motivate each other.

deksgrl

Your post makes me cry. I have done that over and over in my life. My weight gain was not quite as much, but I know the cycle. Work and drop the weight and then just get complacent and stop. It is not in my nature to want to exercise and count calories. I want to lay on the couch and eat what I want, however much of it I want. But, you and I both know you pay for those choices, the pay is gaining weight and getting unhealthy. You pay for the choice to get healthy too, the pay is eating well and exercise. So, either way you are going to pay, which habit do you want to pay for the most?

jsmith0644

I spent twelve years in the Marines, I was lean, motivated and a slim 210 (I'm 6' tall). I had muscle and power. Then I got out of the corps and have ballooned to 312. Since I started this progarm I'm on now and have lost 8 pounds without even thinking my motivation is this. I am 47, my knees hurt, I have high blood pressure, I sweat like a pig when I work or walk rapidly. I used to pack 30 miles with less sweat. Don't get to this point, you may not do as well. My wife looks like she did when we were 16 (close anyway), she doesn't look at me the same. She loves me but I can tell it's different. Don't get here, it makes life bitter. I work in a warehouse / trucking environment, I'm tired too. I get up and do what I have to anyway. I will look good again. I will be able to chase my grand kids, I will be that gorgeous biker dude I once was lol. Work it girl, be happy. Forgive any spelling I type too fast.

leilaphoenix

I'm 5ft2 and started last year at nearly 200lbs and now down to 165lbs with much more to go. I know what you mean and like you I certainly had a 'flip' point, but from that it took me a while to get into a new lifestyle. You need to find things you will enjoy. I find that setting myself challenges that seem ridiculous at the time really motivates me. When I set myself the challenge of running 5k it seemed like the most out-of-reach thing possible but I did it! Now I've set myself challenges for this year that seem crazy (cycle 150miles to see my Gran, do a sprint triathlon) but I know I will do it.

The time for me between 'flipping' and 'taking serious action' was taken up by reading on MFP basically. It gave me loads of ideas and information about how to do this right. Now I was serious about weight loss I needed tools, advice and ideas and it took me a few months to get this all straight in my head before I really got going on my journey.

If we can all do it, so can you.

vim_n_vigor

Maybe it would work better if you start of with small changes instead of all or nothing. Log your food, but don't really watch the calories left. Just start making some better choices. Make some goals for the week. If eating fast food is a big thing make your goal - Instead of eating fast food 5 times a week, I will only eat it 2 times and cook healthy meals for the other three times. Or maybe a goal could be I will eat 5 servings of veggies every day. Then take a few days or a week to get that first goal in place and then make another one. Keep adding them up until all of a sudden, one day you realize you are at your calorie goal and you are getting some exercise and it isn't so hard. You made small changes that added up. Just a suggestion!

ktfitzgerald

I agree with what other posters have said about needing to hit the “enough is enough” point, that it’s a mental block not a physical one and that you need to find what motivates you. But I believe that you don’t have to just sit around and wait for the “enough is enough” point to just hit – I think you can work toward making that happen. I would suggest seeing a counselor to explore your motivations and fears. Sometimes that kind of guided introspection can bring to light roadblocks you are not consciously aware of.

I wish you the best on your journey! I know you can do it and believe you will!

SafireBleu

you and I both know you pay for those choices, the pay is gaining weight and getting unhealthy. You pay for the choice to get healthy too, the pay is eating well and exercise. So, either way you are going to pay, which habit do you want to pay for the most?

This exactly! Exercising and dieting sucks but so does high blood pressure, back pain, knee pain, high cholesterol, diabetes, infertility. Like she said you have to pay the price for your lifestyle eventually what price would you rather pay. I'm making the changes I need to make now before the time comes that I have to pay the the price that obesity will cost me.

NaomiLyn15

Unfortunately there is no special pill you can take to stay motivated, or obesity wouldn't be such a prevalent problem. I have gone through the same cycle over and over in the last 10 years. I would lose weight, feel good about my loss, and without realizing it, I would quit trying again. When you are happy with your progress or even feeling good it is easier to forget that you truly need to continue to get to your ultimate goal.

Two years ago I finally saw myself for who I really was. I saw pictures from a wedding that I was in, and was so disgusted that I let myself get that large. I still can't look at those pictures without wanting to cry. I lost about 30 lbs, and then got complacent again. I stopped counting calories, stopped working out. I have no idea why. I look back and wonder what went through my head, but I don't think anything did. I just was much happier with my looks, I was pleased with my progress and I got complacent. I didn't focus on losing weight all the time.

Luckily I only put back on 7 pounds, so when I started back up in June of last year I only had to lose 7 that I had gained back to get back on track. Since then I have lost that 7 pounds, plus another 25. But, I am finding myself being a bit complacent again. I am the smallest I have ever been, and my weight is coming off so slowly now. So, I find that I don't go to the gym as much, I eat a bit above my calories some days, I am eating more carbs (and other things that I shouldn't eat). I can see that I am reverting back to my old habits. Since I can see that now, I have to amp it up. Because I can see this happening I can make the necessary changes so that I can lose the last 12 lbs I am shooting for.

So, as soon as you are aware of a loss of interest in losing, you need to change it up. THat will help you to stay motivated. Try to find someone to work out with you. Maybe your husband will join you. Mine doesn't, but maybe you can convince yours. Good luck, and friend me if you need additional support!

superstarcassie

Honestly, you have to search for the motivation from within. It was the only thing that allowed me to lose the excess weight that was killing me. One day, almost 2 years ago, I told myself ENOUGH. I WILL change my life and NOT look back. I was sick and so unhealthy weighing over 300 lbs at 24 years old. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I jumped in. I literally started walking at a 2.0 on the treadmill. Now I can run for miles and workout for hours. I started making small changes in my diet and I saw results. You have to motivate yourself to exercise, eat a healthy diet that fuels your body, and not give up when it would be so easy to do so. I'm not saying that we are all perfect people, but I think living healthy means making more better choices and less bad choices. I think when you are truly ready, you will be successful. You need to find a way to become inspired to live healthier for YOU. It has to come to that. Once you are there, great things can happen!

brittaney10811

i guess i still feel like i HAVE had that point of 'enough is enough'. I just want to know why it eventually wore off.

someone sent me an email, and asked if it could come down to basically love.... and rather the lack i have of it for myself.

i had to think about it. I love my compassion for others, i love my drive at work, and i love the way I know i can be an amazing wife for my husband.

but i guess when i REALLY think about it ..... no, i don't love myself. I constantly feel unworthy of my husband and even told him up until the day we got married, and even after we got married, that i don't feel like i deserve him. he deserves a trophy wife, and he tells me constantly that i am exactly that. his heart breaks when he hears the way i feel, and he does his best to reasurre me. but i still feel like i'm not enough

Pookylou

Maybe it would work better if you start of with small changes instead of all or nothing. Log your food, but don't really watch the calories left. Just start making some better choices. Make some goals for the week. If eating fast food is a big thing make your goal - Instead of eating fast food 5 times a week, I will only eat it 2 times and cook healthy meals for the other three times. Or maybe a goal could be I will eat 5 servings of veggies every day. Then take a few days or a week to get that first goal in place and then make another one. Keep adding them up until all of a sudden, one day you realize you are at your calorie goal and you are getting some exercise and it isn't so hard. You made small changes that added up. Just a suggestion!

I think this is a fantastic list of suggestions.
I agree you have to be ready to do it for you. I've done exactly the same cycles throughout my life, a month of dieting here, 2 weeks jucie fast there, then back to sitting on the couch eating pizza. I got to the breaking point where I have changed my mind about getting healthy and fit rather than thin, I think this is the shift that has kept me going. Good luck

MaximalLife

You don't seem very serious about your fitness goals in that you're not journaling your food.
That's key.
It's a simple thing that demonstrates commitment.
Further, your profile says you're "losing for a wedding" or something.

No, you need to set your goals to be fit for life. I suspect that you are trying to starve yourself as well - 100 days?
Not realistic.
I'm not trying to fuss, but I clearly see the issue.

Tree72

The mental struggle and journey is much harder than the physical one. Only you can find your source of motivation and have that daily determination to change.

What are you afraid of? Are you really afraid of failing? Or are you afraid of succeeding? Spend some time thinking about why you really want to change and what it means for your life overall. Figure out what really scares you and why. They say the truth sets you free. So, step on a scale and confront the truth of how much you weigh now. You can only start your journey forward from where you are now, not from where you wish you were. So, find out where you are and take that first step. No one can do it for you or tell you some magic formula to make it happen.

You already know that you can handle the challenges physically required; you've been successful at that before. So, figure out what's mentally or emotionally holding you back. You can do this if you genuinely want it more than you want "easy". Change is hard, and sometimes it hurts.

ninerbuff

Here's the deal .... I'm 23 years old ..... 5'1", and probably 200lbs, probably more. Last May I weighed in at 200.6 and flipped. I could believe I had hit the 200's, especially at my height!! So I met up with a coach at a local gym and with her awesome help and motivation, I melted 20lbs off of myself in 2 months. I was ecstatic because I was getting married that October, and going on a honeymoon caribbean cruise!! What better reasons to loose weight?!?!? I felt better than i had in a LONG time!!! I was energized and just sooo proud of myself!!
Then, for no reason whatsoever... I stopped. Cold turkey. No working out, no eating right, nothing. I felt myself gain back all of my weight (even AFTER i had my wedding dress fitted to my smaller frame!!!) and ended up pratically bursting out of my dress my wedding day, after probably gaining back at least 10lbs of what I had lost, possibly more. The fat clothes I started off with are now tighter than they were before I ever started, so I don't doubt i've probably gained back the 20 I lost plus another 10 at least. I'm too scared to look.

I have friends offering to help me, I sooo badly WANT to be in shape. Yet I won't do the work to do it. It's too easy to be lazy and go home and relax after work. I am so blessed to have people who want to help me, but yet when they offer, for some reason, I feel offended. I realize it makes me a total brat to complain about it, yet find any excuse in the book to turn down someone who cares about me and wants to give me a push. and i'm ashamed of that. Yet I cannot bring myself to change it.

I'm totally at a loss..... I just don't know what to do! I wont' do it on my own, and I won't do it with help. But i want it to happen. How does that even make sense?!

Has anyone else had this problem?????

As a trainer and hearing this over and over again from clients that have told me the same, I'll tell you straight up...........................you really DON'T want it bad enough. IF you really did, you would do WHATEVER IT TAKES to do it. People who succeed in goals sacrifice a lot to reach them. So it has to start with you. Until you've convinced yourself that it's really important, you won't try to fix it. You have to HATE being overweight more than HATING to exercise and eating right.
Here's hoping that you get sick and tired of being sick and tired.


A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

gdb86

Everyone really has hit the nail on the head - saying the same things in different words. Unfortunately, no matter how much you say you understand, until that day comes when you don't just say "enough is enough" but you put the words to action and mean it (in your heart and mind) it's not going to happen. True weight loss is work, but it doesn't have to be boring or strenuous!

I also would say to analyze the time where you just "quit cold turkey." Some people say it happened for no reason they just "did it." But there is always a reason. No one just enjoys self sabotage - there has to be a reason for there to be a drop in motivation. Figuring out why you lost your drive can really help you to squash that mindset in the future and push toward a successful healthy lifestyle. I've been there and I still struggle to this day! Weight loss and healthy living is a daily choice. It does get easier as you put those choices turn into habit, but it is still something that requires motivation, desire, and work. You have to WANT to be healthy more than you want to stay the same.

I would try making small changes that you enjoy. Do you like any type of sport/exercise? Maybe you enjoy dancing... join a zumba class. Or swimming... join a gym w/ a pool and do some laps! If you love a certain healthy food, try to make a healthy meal with it under 400 calories for dinner. There are plenty of online resources with healthy meals under your daily meal calorie intake - choose a couple and stick to them for a few weeks. Tell yourself for one week your only beverage will be water.

Make small changes turn into big results by staying consistent with them and not overloading yourself with rules. And finally give yourself rewards that aren't food! At the first 15 lbs off, a new hair cut! First 30, a weekend trip w/ the hubbie - maybe with some incentive it will help you jump back on the right track!

I hope that helped! Happy losing!

brittaney10811

You don't seem very serious about your fitness goals in that you're not journaling your food.
That's key.
It's a simple thing that demonstrates commitment.
Further, your profile says you're "losing for a wedding" or something.

No, you need to set your goals to be fit for life. I suspect that you are trying to starve yourself as well - 100 days?
Not realistic.
I'm not trying to fuss, but I clearly see the issue.

i wish i could be as blunt as you are. i started MFP before i was married, and haven't updated my profile. No, i'm not starving myself. Thanks.