Seriously too young to give up, but yet i do...

SafireBleu

you and I both know you pay for those choices, the pay is gaining weight and getting unhealthy. You pay for the choice to get healthy too, the pay is eating well and exercise. So, either way you are going to pay, which habit do you want to pay for the most?

This exactly! Exercising and dieting sucks but so does high blood pressure, back pain, knee pain, high cholesterol, diabetes, infertility. Like she said you have to pay the price for your lifestyle eventually what price would you rather pay. I'm making the changes I need to make now before the time comes that I have to pay the the price that obesity will cost me.

NaomiLyn15

Unfortunately there is no special pill you can take to stay motivated, or obesity wouldn't be such a prevalent problem. I have gone through the same cycle over and over in the last 10 years. I would lose weight, feel good about my loss, and without realizing it, I would quit trying again. When you are happy with your progress or even feeling good it is easier to forget that you truly need to continue to get to your ultimate goal.

Two years ago I finally saw myself for who I really was. I saw pictures from a wedding that I was in, and was so disgusted that I let myself get that large. I still can't look at those pictures without wanting to cry. I lost about 30 lbs, and then got complacent again. I stopped counting calories, stopped working out. I have no idea why. I look back and wonder what went through my head, but I don't think anything did. I just was much happier with my looks, I was pleased with my progress and I got complacent. I didn't focus on losing weight all the time.

Luckily I only put back on 7 pounds, so when I started back up in June of last year I only had to lose 7 that I had gained back to get back on track. Since then I have lost that 7 pounds, plus another 25. But, I am finding myself being a bit complacent again. I am the smallest I have ever been, and my weight is coming off so slowly now. So, I find that I don't go to the gym as much, I eat a bit above my calories some days, I am eating more carbs (and other things that I shouldn't eat). I can see that I am reverting back to my old habits. Since I can see that now, I have to amp it up. Because I can see this happening I can make the necessary changes so that I can lose the last 12 lbs I am shooting for.

So, as soon as you are aware of a loss of interest in losing, you need to change it up. THat will help you to stay motivated. Try to find someone to work out with you. Maybe your husband will join you. Mine doesn't, but maybe you can convince yours. Good luck, and friend me if you need additional support!

superstarcassie

Honestly, you have to search for the motivation from within. It was the only thing that allowed me to lose the excess weight that was killing me. One day, almost 2 years ago, I told myself ENOUGH. I WILL change my life and NOT look back. I was sick and so unhealthy weighing over 300 lbs at 24 years old. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I jumped in. I literally started walking at a 2.0 on the treadmill. Now I can run for miles and workout for hours. I started making small changes in my diet and I saw results. You have to motivate yourself to exercise, eat a healthy diet that fuels your body, and not give up when it would be so easy to do so. I'm not saying that we are all perfect people, but I think living healthy means making more better choices and less bad choices. I think when you are truly ready, you will be successful. You need to find a way to become inspired to live healthier for YOU. It has to come to that. Once you are there, great things can happen!

brittaney10811

i guess i still feel like i HAVE had that point of 'enough is enough'. I just want to know why it eventually wore off.

someone sent me an email, and asked if it could come down to basically love.... and rather the lack i have of it for myself.

i had to think about it. I love my compassion for others, i love my drive at work, and i love the way I know i can be an amazing wife for my husband.

but i guess when i REALLY think about it ..... no, i don't love myself. I constantly feel unworthy of my husband and even told him up until the day we got married, and even after we got married, that i don't feel like i deserve him. he deserves a trophy wife, and he tells me constantly that i am exactly that. his heart breaks when he hears the way i feel, and he does his best to reasurre me. but i still feel like i'm not enough

Pookylou

Maybe it would work better if you start of with small changes instead of all or nothing. Log your food, but don't really watch the calories left. Just start making some better choices. Make some goals for the week. If eating fast food is a big thing make your goal - Instead of eating fast food 5 times a week, I will only eat it 2 times and cook healthy meals for the other three times. Or maybe a goal could be I will eat 5 servings of veggies every day. Then take a few days or a week to get that first goal in place and then make another one. Keep adding them up until all of a sudden, one day you realize you are at your calorie goal and you are getting some exercise and it isn't so hard. You made small changes that added up. Just a suggestion!

I think this is a fantastic list of suggestions.
I agree you have to be ready to do it for you. I've done exactly the same cycles throughout my life, a month of dieting here, 2 weeks jucie fast there, then back to sitting on the couch eating pizza. I got to the breaking point where I have changed my mind about getting healthy and fit rather than thin, I think this is the shift that has kept me going. Good luck

MaximalLife

You don't seem very serious about your fitness goals in that you're not journaling your food.
That's key.
It's a simple thing that demonstrates commitment.
Further, your profile says you're "losing for a wedding" or something.

No, you need to set your goals to be fit for life. I suspect that you are trying to starve yourself as well - 100 days?
Not realistic.
I'm not trying to fuss, but I clearly see the issue.

Tree72

The mental struggle and journey is much harder than the physical one. Only you can find your source of motivation and have that daily determination to change.

What are you afraid of? Are you really afraid of failing? Or are you afraid of succeeding? Spend some time thinking about why you really want to change and what it means for your life overall. Figure out what really scares you and why. They say the truth sets you free. So, step on a scale and confront the truth of how much you weigh now. You can only start your journey forward from where you are now, not from where you wish you were. So, find out where you are and take that first step. No one can do it for you or tell you some magic formula to make it happen.

You already know that you can handle the challenges physically required; you've been successful at that before. So, figure out what's mentally or emotionally holding you back. You can do this if you genuinely want it more than you want "easy". Change is hard, and sometimes it hurts.

ninerbuff

Here's the deal .... I'm 23 years old ..... 5'1", and probably 200lbs, probably more. Last May I weighed in at 200.6 and flipped. I could believe I had hit the 200's, especially at my height!! So I met up with a coach at a local gym and with her awesome help and motivation, I melted 20lbs off of myself in 2 months. I was ecstatic because I was getting married that October, and going on a honeymoon caribbean cruise!! What better reasons to loose weight?!?!? I felt better than i had in a LONG time!!! I was energized and just sooo proud of myself!!
Then, for no reason whatsoever... I stopped. Cold turkey. No working out, no eating right, nothing. I felt myself gain back all of my weight (even AFTER i had my wedding dress fitted to my smaller frame!!!) and ended up pratically bursting out of my dress my wedding day, after probably gaining back at least 10lbs of what I had lost, possibly more. The fat clothes I started off with are now tighter than they were before I ever started, so I don't doubt i've probably gained back the 20 I lost plus another 10 at least. I'm too scared to look.

I have friends offering to help me, I sooo badly WANT to be in shape. Yet I won't do the work to do it. It's too easy to be lazy and go home and relax after work. I am so blessed to have people who want to help me, but yet when they offer, for some reason, I feel offended. I realize it makes me a total brat to complain about it, yet find any excuse in the book to turn down someone who cares about me and wants to give me a push. and i'm ashamed of that. Yet I cannot bring myself to change it.

I'm totally at a loss..... I just don't know what to do! I wont' do it on my own, and I won't do it with help. But i want it to happen. How does that even make sense?!

Has anyone else had this problem?????

As a trainer and hearing this over and over again from clients that have told me the same, I'll tell you straight up...........................you really DON'T want it bad enough. IF you really did, you would do WHATEVER IT TAKES to do it. People who succeed in goals sacrifice a lot to reach them. So it has to start with you. Until you've convinced yourself that it's really important, you won't try to fix it. You have to HATE being overweight more than HATING to exercise and eating right.
Here's hoping that you get sick and tired of being sick and tired.


A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

gdb86

Everyone really has hit the nail on the head - saying the same things in different words. Unfortunately, no matter how much you say you understand, until that day comes when you don't just say "enough is enough" but you put the words to action and mean it (in your heart and mind) it's not going to happen. True weight loss is work, but it doesn't have to be boring or strenuous!

I also would say to analyze the time where you just "quit cold turkey." Some people say it happened for no reason they just "did it." But there is always a reason. No one just enjoys self sabotage - there has to be a reason for there to be a drop in motivation. Figuring out why you lost your drive can really help you to squash that mindset in the future and push toward a successful healthy lifestyle. I've been there and I still struggle to this day! Weight loss and healthy living is a daily choice. It does get easier as you put those choices turn into habit, but it is still something that requires motivation, desire, and work. You have to WANT to be healthy more than you want to stay the same.

I would try making small changes that you enjoy. Do you like any type of sport/exercise? Maybe you enjoy dancing... join a zumba class. Or swimming... join a gym w/ a pool and do some laps! If you love a certain healthy food, try to make a healthy meal with it under 400 calories for dinner. There are plenty of online resources with healthy meals under your daily meal calorie intake - choose a couple and stick to them for a few weeks. Tell yourself for one week your only beverage will be water.

Make small changes turn into big results by staying consistent with them and not overloading yourself with rules. And finally give yourself rewards that aren't food! At the first 15 lbs off, a new hair cut! First 30, a weekend trip w/ the hubbie - maybe with some incentive it will help you jump back on the right track!

I hope that helped! Happy losing!

brittaney10811

You don't seem very serious about your fitness goals in that you're not journaling your food.
That's key.
It's a simple thing that demonstrates commitment.
Further, your profile says you're "losing for a wedding" or something.

No, you need to set your goals to be fit for life. I suspect that you are trying to starve yourself as well - 100 days?
Not realistic.
I'm not trying to fuss, but I clearly see the issue.

i wish i could be as blunt as you are. i started MFP before i was married, and haven't updated my profile. No, i'm not starving myself. Thanks.

brittaney10811

I thank for everyone's input. i'll reread these and I do take them all into consideration, and i'll try and figure out ways i can start out small. hopefully my 'aha' moment will present itself soon!

thanks again

teconnor

You might not be too young to give up, but rather too young to get started. There is something about coming into one's own that helps so much. When I was younger, it was very uncomfortable to focus on myself enough to be better about food and exercise. This is kind along the "self love" comment you got, but it is more than that. I have always thought I was pretty darn neat -- it was more a issue of recognizing the degree of control I had in my life and not feeling like it was too self-centered to reach out and take some of what I wanted. I'm not sure you can force yourself into this mindset, as much as mature into it. Consider inverting your focus -- don't lose weight to feel better about yourself and in more control; instead, feel better about yourself and in more control to lose weight. Seek out the work, paid and unpaid, that motivates you; put energy into treating others exactly as you want to; seek activities that bring joy; build yourself into the emotional/mental person you want to be -- let the physical part follow. It is so much less important anyway.
I'm not sure I understand people who tell you that you aren't "serious" about losing weight -- in this society, the sanctions (self imposed and otherwise) for being a 200 pound woman are so strong that it is impossible to not be serious about it. It takes more than being serious, more than will-power. I think it is really hard to find that "more" in food diaries, personal training, and offers of help from friends. Look elsewhere; you're going to grow into a different you, and likely as not, it'll turn out to be a slenderer, healthier you.

For_the_Last_Time

Do you want t be in your 30's and still trying to lose weight? To finally do it? If not don't stop.


The reason you stopped is because it was easier. Plain and simple.... I have done it myself and that is where I am coming from I quit because it was easier to not do it. How bad do you want it? Make the changes that you can live with for the rest of your life because its not 6 months or a year its for life or you will just be a yo-yo for the rest of your life.

parys1

You might not be too young to give up, but rather too young to get started. There is something about coming into one's own that helps so much. When I was younger, it was very uncomfortable to focus on myself enough to be better about food and exercise. This is kind along the "self love" comment you got, but it is more than that. I have always thought I was pretty darn neat -- it was more a issue of recognizing the degree of control I had in my life and not feeling like it was too self-centered to reach out and take some of what I wanted. I'm not sure you can force yourself into this mindset, as much as mature into it. Consider inverting your focus -- don't lose weight to feel better about yourself and in more control; instead, feel better about yourself and in more control to lose weight. Seek out the work, paid and unpaid, that motivates you; put energy into treating others exactly as you want to; seek activities that bring joy; build yourself into the emotional/mental person you want to be -- let the physical part follow. It is so much less important anyway.
I'm not sure I understand people who tell you that you aren't "serious" about losing weight -- in this society, the sanctions (self imposed and otherwise) for being a 200 pound woman are so strong that it is impossible to not be serious about it. It takes more than being serious, more than will-power. I think it is really hard to find that "more" in food diaries, personal training, and offers of help from friends. Look elsewhere; you're going to grow into a different you, and likely as not, it'll turn out to be a slenderer, healthier you.

This is bang-on.

bzmom

You know its funny you posted this I am going throught the same thing right now. I had lost a total of 40lbs and was at the weight I wanted the only thing is I started lifting weights to build muscle. Well I fell of for the holidays and have gained about 10lbs since. I am discusted on how I let myself go and know I have to get back on track. I started exercising but I cant seem to stop eating. So what did I do right now I adjusted my calorie goal and had it lowered drastically. I am determined to stick to my goal at least for starts and start slowly on the exercise and see how that works for me. GL

vs1023

i guess i still feel like i HAVE had that point of 'enough is enough'. I just want to know why it eventually wore off.

someone sent me an email, and asked if it could come down to basically love.... and rather the lack i have of it for myself.

i had to think about it. I love my compassion for others, i love my drive at work, and i love the way I know i can be an amazing wife for my husband.

but i guess when i REALLY think about it ..... no, i don't love myself. I constantly feel unworthy of my husband and even told him up until the day we got married, and even after we got married, that i don't feel like i deserve him. he deserves a trophy wife, and he tells me constantly that i am exactly that. his heart breaks when he hears the way i feel, and he does his best to reasurre me. but i still feel like i'm not enough

If your self esteem is this low perhaps you need to talk to someone about. Also perhaps you feel this way because you've gained weight. Only you can change, no one can do it for you.

parys1

I think you need to realize that YOU are worthy of the effort. YOU are worthy of health. YOU are worthy of happiness. YOU are worthy of your husband. YOU are WORTHY. I know that's easy to say and far less easy to realize. I've been in your shoes. Sadly, it took me years of secret self-disgust, I could talk a good game about loving myself but I was wearing the evidence on my body. It took a combination of having children and truly wanting to be a good example for them and gaining the wisdom that comes with age and experience. My 30's and 40's are far better than my 20's were. I was unable to change anything, though,until I realized I had one chance at this life and I was wasting the precious gift of it. So many things open up to you when you KNOW that the wonderful, crazy, beautiful things in this world are meant for YOU.

brittaney10811

it is easier said than done, to believe and feel all of those things..... but i will try.... I just don't know where to start

parys1

Find someone to talk to. Counselor, pastor, friend. Find quiet moments to be calm. I found the book "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle to be helpful. Don't expect change overnight and try not to wrack your brain trying to come up with a "reason" for the way you feel.

brittaney10811

thank you, i'll try and find someone to talk to

awhiteblankpage

I totally have that problem. I'm still lazy, I never work out. I just eat better and the weight is coming off. It would go faster if I were to work out, but I just don't want to. I love sitting around and doing nothing (as bad as that sounds!)

deksgrl

I looked at your pics, and you and your hubby look so in love. That is a gift. You say you don't feel worthy, but then what does that say about him.... he picked wrong? He has terrible perception? I don't think so. I think you are a wonderful young woman with a lot of life ahead of her. Life is all about choices. It is up to you what kind of choices you make. Start making some small positive choices every day that will start moving you back in the right direction. Feel good about those choices and let it inspire you to make more.

alperez26

i trul yknow how you feel i am 29 a mother of thre and 5ft 5in tall weighing in at 212!! i want to lose weight soo badly, i am tried of feeling like a linebacker around the skinny happy people. everytime i try to do good, two days later im back to snacking excessively, on not good things.i dont know how to start.or how how to start for success, and keep going. it feels good to know that i am not alone on this. if you need a buddy i would be more than happy to join ranks with someone and battle these damn pounds.

KiyaK

it is easier said than done, to believe and feel all of those things..... but i will try.... I just don't know where to start

Start by going to the gym! Just GO! Don't think about the consequences or will you stick with it or are you good enough. Just go. It is SO easy to allow depression and those thoughts to drag you down, I know. I struggle with these thoughts about many other areas of my life. A lot of times, I just have to tell myself, "shut up and GOOOOO." Once I've started, things are so much easier. Maybe it’s starting the very first time or maybe it’s just starting that activity that day. For me, I must constantly tell myself to shut it and get on with it.

Good luck.

valeriebpdx

This is one of the most interesting and helpful posts I have seen in my time on MFP. Thanks for posting it, and thanks especially to melsinct, Auticus, and teconnor for wonderful insights.

Kelly_1981

I have sent you a message but can I just say publically, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! You look stunning in your wedding pics and I agree your Hubby looks madly in love with you, you are worthy of love. Why dont you look into getting Jillian Michaels new book "unlimited" well worth a lool.

Lets do this one step at a time :-) x

brittaney10811

thanks everyone. It makes me feel good that the love my husband and i have is easily visible even in photos. He's my entire world and my best friend.
In response to an earilier post, no, i don't think he picked wrong (because i know no one could ever love him as much as i do!), i just think he deserves a beautiful woman on his arm, and that i'm failing on my part of the deal to be that for him...

deksgrl

You haven't failed, you are beautiful. But..... you could be healthier and happier, yes? So, what is your action plan to take steps in that direction?

cygnetpro

You have to want it more than the discomfort of dieting and exercise displeases you.

Until you reach that point, you will continue down the road you are on. There is no magic potion or silver bullet or answer for you, it allresides within your own heart to accomplish or to set down.

What he said. I've been there, too. For me, I think that failure started to feel very comfortable. I'd lose a few pounds, and then declare victory and go back to my sedentary life and eating/drinking habits. I really had to change my mindset. I started visualizing what I really wanted in my life, and told myself that old "journey of a thousand steps" quote over and over. I still have a way to go, but for the past two weeks, I have dragged my tired rear out of bed to zumba before my kids get up. I eat between 1200 and 1300 calories. Not much junk food, and no wine. I haven't weighed myself, but my pants fit better yesterday, and it actually occured to me that I needed a belt.

But I was ready to do it. I didn't want the way I look and feel now to be my future. You'll know it when you get there.

lmalaschak

If your sticking point is that you really feel tired and lazy after work, maybe you could find a way to go with it. I don't know what your schedule is, but...could there be a way to do your exercise BEFORE you to go work instead? Then you can give yourself permission to be as lazy as you want in the evenings. I know I like to lounge on the couch at night too. I know this doesn't address the real problem of losing motivation (been there as well), but it is just another thought...These people are right. Sometimes it happens.