Seriously too young to give up, but yet i do...

brittaney10811

Here's the deal .... I'm 23 years old ..... 5'1", and probably 200lbs, probably more. Last May I weighed in at 200.6 and flipped. I could believe I had hit the 200's, especially at my height!! So I met up with a coach at a local gym and with her awesome help and motivation, I melted 20lbs off of myself in 2 months. I was ecstatic because I was getting married that October, and going on a honeymoon caribbean cruise!! What better reasons to loose weight?!?!? I felt better than i had in a LONG time!!! I was energized and just sooo proud of myself!!
Then, for no reason whatsoever... I stopped. Cold turkey. No working out, no eating right, nothing. I felt myself gain back all of my weight (even AFTER i had my wedding dress fitted to my smaller frame!!!) and ended up pratically bursting out of my dress my wedding day, after probably gaining back at least 10lbs of what I had lost, possibly more. The fat clothes I started off with are now tighter than they were before I ever started, so I don't doubt i've probably gained back the 20 I lost plus another 10 at least. I'm too scared to look.

I have friends offering to help me, I sooo badly WANT to be in shape. Yet I won't do the work to do it. It's too easy to be lazy and go home and relax after work. I am so blessed to have people who want to help me, but yet when they offer, for some reason, I feel offended. I realize it makes me a total brat to complain about it, yet find any excuse in the book to turn down someone who cares about me and wants to give me a push. and i'm ashamed of that. Yet I cannot bring myself to change it.

I'm totally at a loss..... I just don't know what to do! I wont' do it on my own, and I won't do it with help. But i want it to happen. How does that even make sense?!

Has anyone else had this problem?????

Brown_Eyed_Beauty

The very same thing happened to me. I am the biggest I've ever been at 5'3" and 206lbs. I had to get an alteration for my wedding dress and cried like crazy over it. I really need the support but no one around me seems to get it. Not even my husband. Feel free to add me and maybe we can motivate each other. :-) have a better day!

melsinct

You will not be able to lose the weight until you are ready, physically and emotionally. Most of us who have successfully lost weight did it after we came to the point of "enough is enough" and couldn't stand being overweight anymore. If you are not ready to fully commit to getting rid of the weight for good, then start making small changes until you are ready to truly lose the weight (honesty with yourself is key here). Small changes could be taking a one mile walk daily, or giving up soda, or even just starting to log your food in MFP to be aware of how many calories you are eating on a daily basis.

No one can lose the weight for you and it is a hell of a journey. Your head *has* to be in the game to succeed.

auticus

You have to want it more than the discomfort of dieting and exercise displeases you.

Until you reach that point, you will continue down the road you are on. There is no magic potion or silver bullet or answer for you, it allresides within your own heart to accomplish or to set down.

TeeferTiger

I agree, even just making a small change can make a huge difference and then when you see that difference it really spurs you on. It's not a race, or a competition. Just make a small change so that you're not feeling deprived, but your calorie intake is being decreased and then see how you get on.

SkinnyGirlFatBody

If your not willing to put the work in, then your not ready to lose weight. It sucks, but its the truth. You have to want it, like really really want it. It took me a long time to get to the point I'm at today. Cutting out junk food and forcing yourself to go the gym, is hard, but you have to be able to make those goals and stick to it.

abrown4348

Dave Ramsey has a saying - people modify their behaviors when the fear of staying the same is worse than the fear of change. I have been guilty of the same thing - it's so much easier to not work out and not watch what you eat, but there are always consequences of that (clothes not fitting well is my consequence). I hope you find the motivation you need to do this for yourself. At least you know when you're ready, there are people waiting to help you!

aunienue

You have to want it more than the discomfort of dieting and exercise displeases you.

Until you reach that point, you will continue down the road you are on. There is no magic potion or silver bullet or answer for you, it allresides within your own heart to accomplish or to set down.

What he said....how bad do you want it??

jkmurphy06

I completely agree with the above poster. I think that no matter what your fitness goals are, wheather you want to lose 2 lbs or 200lbs, you have to completely devote yourself to becoming healthy and making the right decisions. My weight goals were never huge and I was never at the "hatred" point when it came to my body, but I always felt I could be better. I tried unsuccesfully for a year to lose weight, I crash dieted, restricted carbs, walked an hour for 6 days a week, and didn't see results. It wasn't until I decided to educate myself on how the body works and each persons metabolism and body structure works that I saw results. Also once I got the support from MFP family and started seeing results (even a 1lb shift on the scale) and someone saying they were proud of me, made a huge difference in my outlook on life. Educate yourself and realize that you have a beautiful body and a wonderful piece of machinery that really responds to the fuel that you give it and the work that you put it thru.

I think one of the biggest misconceptions I had was that I had to kill myself in the gym and drastically limit my food intake. Once I switched to eating 5-6 small meals a day ( just divide up your MFP calorie limit by 6) and try to be physically active for about 25 minutes a day (this could be cleaning the house or my favorite WINDOW SHOPPING!) Also limit the amount of processed foods you eat (if you can't pronounce whats in it try to avoid it) and refined carbs (that means white flours, which I still struggle with) and drink a lot of green tea and water to boost metabolism.

You have a lot of support here and there is a weath of knowledge and inspiration out there to get you motivated. Good luck on your journey. Love your body and be confident that with a healthy lifestyle will come a more positive outlook on your life and body image.

galegetsthin

I would guarantee that at least 95% of the people on this site have been through this. At 23 I was 342 lbs. I am taller, but still 342 is not a good number unless you are about 7.5 feet tall. I hated the way I looked, I hated the clothes I had to wear, but I didnt hate it enough to commit to the changes. Eventually though, I reached a point of frustration with myself (I was 25 by this point) and came to the conclusion that it was all my fault and I could not complain about it if I wasnt willing to change. First, I quit soda. Went diet for a while, had some juice, but a lot of water. I saw results. I felt good. Next, I cut out all fried food. I saw results. I felt good. Next, was fast food. I saw results, and I felt good. It has taken me 4 years, but I have gotten down to 184 now and only have 30 - 40 lbs to go. It has been hard work. I have hit speedbumps. I have wavered in my determination at times. But I havent given up. And, one day, you will also come to the same fork in the road that has led us all to this website, and when YOU are ready, you will do it, and you wont let excuses drag you down.

brittaney10811

Thank you all for your input!

I agree with what everyone has said, and it is something that has been told to me before. But here's my dilemma ...

I HAVE hit the "Enough is Enough" point. I HAVE changed my entire outlook on life and cut my meals down to 6 a day, drank my 8 glasses of water religiously, even enjoyed working out after making it a habbit after 2 months!! I LOVED IT!!!!!!!! i felt AMAZING and never ever wanted to return back to how I was. I knew I'd be crazy after having such great success!!!

BUT ... i still quit. For ZERO reason ... regardless of knowing that i would gain the weight back ... regardless of knowing i'd loose my energy .... regardless of knowing my WEDDING DRESS won't fit me ..... I STILL QUIT.....

I don't know when to believe myself anymore. I'll feel like I am in the right state of mind, but I automattically remember how full force I was into it before, and how I still gave up. So then my next thought is 'why even bother, i already know what's going to happen' and then go on with relaxing after work. I am still paying for a gym membership which is going to waste, i have the time to go .... so i don't even have an excuse. I don't have any kids to rush home to, and my hubby gets home after me. Nooooo excuses.

but i still stop myself before i can even get started.


It's the most frustrating thing I can imagine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KareninCanada

What everyone else said.

Now maybe there is a goal you really want, or a challenge that will motivate you? For me, goals never worked, but challenges do. My hubby joined the military and while he was on basic training I got off the couch and did my own version of his workouts at home. I didn't want to be the "fat wife" at his graduation, and I wasn't! Unfortunately, that was the end of it. Once I got the "WOW!!" from him, my motivation fizzled out. I maintained for a year or so but then it all crept back on over the next two years so I'm back to where I started from.

This week I joined a program on our base. I've got a team of about 12 people, including three friends, all counting on me and encouraging me. We've got access to a trainer who will push us as hard as we can safely go. We've got classes each week. AND we've got a $1000 grand prize dangling out there, which is a mighty fine carrot. So I've got motivation again, which will see me through at least the 18 weeks of the program.

Beyond that... well, that's where something bigger than a temporary goal has to come in, and that's what I didn't do last time. This time around I'm recognizing that I've abused this body that I've been given, and that the one who gave it to me wants me to take better care of it and will help me if I'm willing.

nwickart82

Yep, same issues. I am only 5'4 and was close to 300. Trust me, I had gotten comfortable with being fat. I would crack jokes about myself. I was comfortable with my blubber. One day a friend of mine was talking about MFP, and I decided to check it out.. It is like a switch flipped in my brain and I decided that I didn't want to deal with the fat. I started to feel bad because I was comfortable making fun of myself. I think a switch may have to flip in your head before you can make your final decision. Let your friends help! We have like 7 friends on board with just calorie counting and exercise.. It motivates you when a friend is losing as well. Good luck to you!

bsdive

I feel ya! Something that I have done is try to start with small goals each week and then adding something else the next week. Like I gave up pop for a month and then when the month was up I made restrictions for myself as to when I could have it so it would not get out of control like it was previously so now I only drink pop when I go out to dinner or at a party. I just looked at my eating habits and decided what small changes I could make like not eating after a certain time, drinking more water, writing down what I eat, trying to get so many minutes of exercise in a day or week- so when you start to make small changes it does not seem so overwhelming and then when you are ready to make a bigger jump you will have a starting point. I hope this helps- Good Luck.

UPDATE-So now I read the new stuff that was added and I would just add to the above that it is normal to stop and have to restart- I can not tell you how many times I have done this- I worked REALLY hard to train for a half marathon and was running 4 times a week (I am not a runner) and after I ran the half I stopped everything- working out, eating right, ect so now I have to get back on track and it is frustrating that running 1 mile is so hard for me now. Don't try to figure out why just put one foot in front of the other and do the next right thing for yourself. If you fall down get up and give yourself a break! Good Luck.

therealangd

I HAVE hit the "Enough is Enough" point.

Nope. You haven't. Not yet. Almost. But not yet.

You are in the mindset that you can diet for a couple of months and then return to your old habits and think the weight should stay off.

When you have truly had enough, you realize that you are going to have to change your lifestyle habits FOREVER. (No. That doesn't mean 100% of the time) That couch potato lazy is not an option. That being and staying healthy is one of your top priorities and you are going to do whatever it takes.

That's when you have had enough.

auticus

Once you have hit the "enough is enough" point you will not really feel frustration anymore, just a burning desire that is fuelled by an intense need to remove the fat suit.

If you are frustrated and hating diets and hating exercise, you have not reached that point yet. Once I hit the enough is enough point, I actually crave exercise and need it. I look forward to it every day, and the frustration left because I was achieving success because I wasn't giving myself any more excuses as to why I couldn't lose weight (not enough time in the day, I hate exercise, why do I have to do this, this is lame, I hate diets, If I only eat half of the garbage I should lose weight but I'm not, I hate running, etc...)

A life style change is just that. You have to remove yourself from the dream that you can diet for a month or two and then go back to your old life.

Because what will happen is yo uwill lose weight, and then gain it all back again and then some.

vs1023

Honestly it's mostly mental. You have to make the choice and committment in your mind to do it and the rest will follow. Till you do that I don't know that it will happen. For me, there is no other option. I will not be a heavy mom. I want to be the active grandparent when my kids are older and married, etc. I don't want to put crap in my body. Heart disease is the #1 killer of women and it runs in my family. I will not be a statistic.

Once you make that choice then it's mostly diet followed by exercise. No one said it would be easy. It IS hard work, but the reward is worth it and it's not a short term thing anyway, but something you choose to do for the rest of your life. You have to keep challenging yourself. Make the change now because if you plan to have kids it will be even harder to get it done then.

SouthernBeauty89

I know you want to lose weight but it's hard to get out there & burn those calories! It's so much easier sitting at home on the sofa, eating chips & salsa watching "The Biggest Loser"! Stop feeling sorry for yourself & do it for you! Do you want to live your 20's sitting in the house on the sofa or out having an active lifestyle, wearing cute/sexy clothes!? Have that aha moment & get to moving that booty! Start logging everything, up your water intake & just move more. Go for a walk around the block or go to a track & say i'm going to walk around this four times! Start somewhere because one day your going to wake up and it's going to be too late to go back..some people wish they would've had that aha moment at 200 lbs but now they are 500lbs! It's easy to quit but the pain you feel now will be so worth it in the future! I'm not meaning to rant like I don't have heart or I'm the fittest person out there but sugar coating things isn't going to get you far hon! It's a lifestyle change! Good luck & add me if you want for extra support & advice! I was 225 at my highest before MFP and now i'm 180lb & still going. You can do this but you gotta get to the point where you are done with being over weight & want to look & feel better. :flowerforyou:

farmers_daughter

Dave Ramsey has a saying - people modify their behaviors when the fear of staying the same is worse than the fear of change.

THIS! THIS! THIS! THIS!

I truly believe a light bulb has to go off. You can want to change until you are blue in the face. Want = Nothing.

I've talked to doctors, I've talked to dietitians, I've talked and talked and talked, I started talking after I read, googled, yahoo'd, webstered..... and here's my perfect example. Every single morning without fail....my alarm would go off at 5 am, and I would tell myself, today is the day I'm going to get on the treadmill this morning just for a little bit....then I hit snooze and go back to sleep. EVERY DAY for months....

The one day I talked to my life coach about my struggles and she said to me "Ok, I'm writing you a prescription...for 3 days this week you will get on the treadmill in the morning, then on Friday you text me and let me know how you did"

Guess what. She didn't yell, she didn't give me any crap.
I'd like to say my light bulb has gone off, but it's too early to tell.

Good Luck!

Kirsty_UK

it's about finding that one thing (or those several things) that mean more to you than being lazy does

maybe it's being fit enough to do something particular

maybe it's seeing a relative or friend sick with a weight related problem

maybe it's wanting to have children and being as healthy as you can

maybe it's as simple as wanting to look the best you possibly can

Whatever it is, only you can find out what that motivation is.

For me, getting married and looking good in the photos wasn't enough, feeling "unworthy" in social situation and judged wasn't enough. I booked a honeymoon for 8 months after out wedding that involved a fairly strenuous but rewarding trek. That was my goal. To be fit enough and healthy enough to enjoy it. Not just finish it, but enjoy it. Beyond that I lost motivation slightly, but now my goal is to feel how I felt when I was trained up for that holiday, with the energy, And to have a healthy pregnancy, that I hope to try for soon.

Find what is your motivation, for you, and noone else.

SafireBleu

What are you afraid of? If you succeeded somewhat before in making the changes then you know you can do it. If you have hit the point where you have had enough and think you are in the right mindset, what are you afraid of? Are you afraid of change, failure, success... What is holding you back? Change isn't gonna happen on it's own. You have to do it if you want it to happen. No one can do it for you. The only thing standing in your way is you. So what are YOU afraid of?

themedalist

Human beings have an enormous capacity to change if they want to. You can choose a different path for yourself and a different outcome than the last time you lost weight. You can change if you want to.

It doesn't sound to me like you're quite there yet or nothing would be able to stop you. As another MFPer put it, "You can have excuses or results, but not both".

Kirsty_UK

What are you afraid of? If you succeeded somewhat before in making the changes then you know you can do it. If you have hit the point where you have had enough and think you are in the right mindset, what are you afraid of? Are you afraid of change, failure, success... What is holding you back? Change isn't gonna happen on it's own. You have to do it if you want it to happen. No one can do it for you. The only thing standing in your way is you. So what are YOU afraid of?

I think this hits the nail on the head. You appear to be scared of "failing" again. But if you don't treat this as a success or failure thing, you CANNOT FAIL. The only failure, is not trying. If you treat this as a gradual lifestyle change, every change you make is for the better, and every change is a success. If you make your goal to be healthier, not thinner, every food choice you make that is a better choice, every bit of exercise you do, is better than you were doing before. it's feeding your body better, and working your heart for better health and fitness.

thepetiterunner

You will not be able to lose the weight until you are ready, physically and emotionally. Most of us who have successfully lost weight did it after we came to the point of "enough is enough" and couldn't stand being overweight anymore. If you are not ready to fully commit to getting rid of the weight for good, then start making small changes until you are ready to truly lose the weight (honesty with yourself is key here). Small changes could be taking a one mile walk daily, or giving up soda, or even just starting to log your food in MFP to be aware of how many calories you are eating on a daily basis.

No one can lose the weight for you and it is a hell of a journey. Your head *has* to be in the game to succeed.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Getting healthy and fit is 90% attitude, 10% action. Your commitment is absolutely necessary.

hebert4806

I feel you! I'm 30 and 210 and 5'7 and I feel like a troll! I've never been successful at weight loss. I've just watched the numbers creep up over the years even though I'm really active. I've been exercising (not consistently) for years. I broke my arm ice skating a couple of years ago and gained 20 more pounds. I have been so discouraged, but I can't give up. I just can't. I'm now adding strength training to my routine of swimming. I am going to track my calories and be mindful of reducing the numbers. Hopefully, I can see results. Fingers crossed!

liseyicious

I am the same way. I start projects and then give up. It's stressful for me.

I realized that being overweight was having me fall more into depression and I desperately needed out.

Friend me and let's motivate each other.

deksgrl

Your post makes me cry. I have done that over and over in my life. My weight gain was not quite as much, but I know the cycle. Work and drop the weight and then just get complacent and stop. It is not in my nature to want to exercise and count calories. I want to lay on the couch and eat what I want, however much of it I want. But, you and I both know you pay for those choices, the pay is gaining weight and getting unhealthy. You pay for the choice to get healthy too, the pay is eating well and exercise. So, either way you are going to pay, which habit do you want to pay for the most?

jsmith0644

I spent twelve years in the Marines, I was lean, motivated and a slim 210 (I'm 6' tall). I had muscle and power. Then I got out of the corps and have ballooned to 312. Since I started this progarm I'm on now and have lost 8 pounds without even thinking my motivation is this. I am 47, my knees hurt, I have high blood pressure, I sweat like a pig when I work or walk rapidly. I used to pack 30 miles with less sweat. Don't get to this point, you may not do as well. My wife looks like she did when we were 16 (close anyway), she doesn't look at me the same. She loves me but I can tell it's different. Don't get here, it makes life bitter. I work in a warehouse / trucking environment, I'm tired too. I get up and do what I have to anyway. I will look good again. I will be able to chase my grand kids, I will be that gorgeous biker dude I once was lol. Work it girl, be happy. Forgive any spelling I type too fast.

leilaphoenix

I'm 5ft2 and started last year at nearly 200lbs and now down to 165lbs with much more to go. I know what you mean and like you I certainly had a 'flip' point, but from that it took me a while to get into a new lifestyle. You need to find things you will enjoy. I find that setting myself challenges that seem ridiculous at the time really motivates me. When I set myself the challenge of running 5k it seemed like the most out-of-reach thing possible but I did it! Now I've set myself challenges for this year that seem crazy (cycle 150miles to see my Gran, do a sprint triathlon) but I know I will do it.

The time for me between 'flipping' and 'taking serious action' was taken up by reading on MFP basically. It gave me loads of ideas and information about how to do this right. Now I was serious about weight loss I needed tools, advice and ideas and it took me a few months to get this all straight in my head before I really got going on my journey.

If we can all do it, so can you.

vim_n_vigor

Maybe it would work better if you start of with small changes instead of all or nothing. Log your food, but don't really watch the calories left. Just start making some better choices. Make some goals for the week. If eating fast food is a big thing make your goal - Instead of eating fast food 5 times a week, I will only eat it 2 times and cook healthy meals for the other three times. Or maybe a goal could be I will eat 5 servings of veggies every day. Then take a few days or a week to get that first goal in place and then make another one. Keep adding them up until all of a sudden, one day you realize you are at your calorie goal and you are getting some exercise and it isn't so hard. You made small changes that added up. Just a suggestion!

ktfitzgerald

I agree with what other posters have said about needing to hit the “enough is enough” point, that it’s a mental block not a physical one and that you need to find what motivates you. But I believe that you don’t have to just sit around and wait for the “enough is enough” point to just hit – I think you can work toward making that happen. I would suggest seeing a counselor to explore your motivations and fears. Sometimes that kind of guided introspection can bring to light roadblocks you are not consciously aware of.

I wish you the best on your journey! I know you can do it and believe you will!