Seriously too young to give up, but yet i do...

brittaney10811

I thank for everyone's input. i'll reread these and I do take them all into consideration, and i'll try and figure out ways i can start out small. hopefully my 'aha' moment will present itself soon!

thanks again

teconnor

You might not be too young to give up, but rather too young to get started. There is something about coming into one's own that helps so much. When I was younger, it was very uncomfortable to focus on myself enough to be better about food and exercise. This is kind along the "self love" comment you got, but it is more than that. I have always thought I was pretty darn neat -- it was more a issue of recognizing the degree of control I had in my life and not feeling like it was too self-centered to reach out and take some of what I wanted. I'm not sure you can force yourself into this mindset, as much as mature into it. Consider inverting your focus -- don't lose weight to feel better about yourself and in more control; instead, feel better about yourself and in more control to lose weight. Seek out the work, paid and unpaid, that motivates you; put energy into treating others exactly as you want to; seek activities that bring joy; build yourself into the emotional/mental person you want to be -- let the physical part follow. It is so much less important anyway.
I'm not sure I understand people who tell you that you aren't "serious" about losing weight -- in this society, the sanctions (self imposed and otherwise) for being a 200 pound woman are so strong that it is impossible to not be serious about it. It takes more than being serious, more than will-power. I think it is really hard to find that "more" in food diaries, personal training, and offers of help from friends. Look elsewhere; you're going to grow into a different you, and likely as not, it'll turn out to be a slenderer, healthier you.

For_the_Last_Time

Do you want t be in your 30's and still trying to lose weight? To finally do it? If not don't stop.


The reason you stopped is because it was easier. Plain and simple.... I have done it myself and that is where I am coming from I quit because it was easier to not do it. How bad do you want it? Make the changes that you can live with for the rest of your life because its not 6 months or a year its for life or you will just be a yo-yo for the rest of your life.

parys1

You might not be too young to give up, but rather too young to get started. There is something about coming into one's own that helps so much. When I was younger, it was very uncomfortable to focus on myself enough to be better about food and exercise. This is kind along the "self love" comment you got, but it is more than that. I have always thought I was pretty darn neat -- it was more a issue of recognizing the degree of control I had in my life and not feeling like it was too self-centered to reach out and take some of what I wanted. I'm not sure you can force yourself into this mindset, as much as mature into it. Consider inverting your focus -- don't lose weight to feel better about yourself and in more control; instead, feel better about yourself and in more control to lose weight. Seek out the work, paid and unpaid, that motivates you; put energy into treating others exactly as you want to; seek activities that bring joy; build yourself into the emotional/mental person you want to be -- let the physical part follow. It is so much less important anyway.
I'm not sure I understand people who tell you that you aren't "serious" about losing weight -- in this society, the sanctions (self imposed and otherwise) for being a 200 pound woman are so strong that it is impossible to not be serious about it. It takes more than being serious, more than will-power. I think it is really hard to find that "more" in food diaries, personal training, and offers of help from friends. Look elsewhere; you're going to grow into a different you, and likely as not, it'll turn out to be a slenderer, healthier you.

This is bang-on.

bzmom

You know its funny you posted this I am going throught the same thing right now. I had lost a total of 40lbs and was at the weight I wanted the only thing is I started lifting weights to build muscle. Well I fell of for the holidays and have gained about 10lbs since. I am discusted on how I let myself go and know I have to get back on track. I started exercising but I cant seem to stop eating. So what did I do right now I adjusted my calorie goal and had it lowered drastically. I am determined to stick to my goal at least for starts and start slowly on the exercise and see how that works for me. GL

vs1023

i guess i still feel like i HAVE had that point of 'enough is enough'. I just want to know why it eventually wore off.

someone sent me an email, and asked if it could come down to basically love.... and rather the lack i have of it for myself.

i had to think about it. I love my compassion for others, i love my drive at work, and i love the way I know i can be an amazing wife for my husband.

but i guess when i REALLY think about it ..... no, i don't love myself. I constantly feel unworthy of my husband and even told him up until the day we got married, and even after we got married, that i don't feel like i deserve him. he deserves a trophy wife, and he tells me constantly that i am exactly that. his heart breaks when he hears the way i feel, and he does his best to reasurre me. but i still feel like i'm not enough

If your self esteem is this low perhaps you need to talk to someone about. Also perhaps you feel this way because you've gained weight. Only you can change, no one can do it for you.

parys1

I think you need to realize that YOU are worthy of the effort. YOU are worthy of health. YOU are worthy of happiness. YOU are worthy of your husband. YOU are WORTHY. I know that's easy to say and far less easy to realize. I've been in your shoes. Sadly, it took me years of secret self-disgust, I could talk a good game about loving myself but I was wearing the evidence on my body. It took a combination of having children and truly wanting to be a good example for them and gaining the wisdom that comes with age and experience. My 30's and 40's are far better than my 20's were. I was unable to change anything, though,until I realized I had one chance at this life and I was wasting the precious gift of it. So many things open up to you when you KNOW that the wonderful, crazy, beautiful things in this world are meant for YOU.

brittaney10811

it is easier said than done, to believe and feel all of those things..... but i will try.... I just don't know where to start

parys1

Find someone to talk to. Counselor, pastor, friend. Find quiet moments to be calm. I found the book "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle to be helpful. Don't expect change overnight and try not to wrack your brain trying to come up with a "reason" for the way you feel.

brittaney10811

thank you, i'll try and find someone to talk to

awhiteblankpage

I totally have that problem. I'm still lazy, I never work out. I just eat better and the weight is coming off. It would go faster if I were to work out, but I just don't want to. I love sitting around and doing nothing (as bad as that sounds!)

deksgrl

I looked at your pics, and you and your hubby look so in love. That is a gift. You say you don't feel worthy, but then what does that say about him.... he picked wrong? He has terrible perception? I don't think so. I think you are a wonderful young woman with a lot of life ahead of her. Life is all about choices. It is up to you what kind of choices you make. Start making some small positive choices every day that will start moving you back in the right direction. Feel good about those choices and let it inspire you to make more.

alperez26

i trul yknow how you feel i am 29 a mother of thre and 5ft 5in tall weighing in at 212!! i want to lose weight soo badly, i am tried of feeling like a linebacker around the skinny happy people. everytime i try to do good, two days later im back to snacking excessively, on not good things.i dont know how to start.or how how to start for success, and keep going. it feels good to know that i am not alone on this. if you need a buddy i would be more than happy to join ranks with someone and battle these damn pounds.

KiyaK

it is easier said than done, to believe and feel all of those things..... but i will try.... I just don't know where to start

Start by going to the gym! Just GO! Don't think about the consequences or will you stick with it or are you good enough. Just go. It is SO easy to allow depression and those thoughts to drag you down, I know. I struggle with these thoughts about many other areas of my life. A lot of times, I just have to tell myself, "shut up and GOOOOO." Once I've started, things are so much easier. Maybe it’s starting the very first time or maybe it’s just starting that activity that day. For me, I must constantly tell myself to shut it and get on with it.

Good luck.

valeriebpdx

This is one of the most interesting and helpful posts I have seen in my time on MFP. Thanks for posting it, and thanks especially to melsinct, Auticus, and teconnor for wonderful insights.

Kelly_1981

I have sent you a message but can I just say publically, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! You look stunning in your wedding pics and I agree your Hubby looks madly in love with you, you are worthy of love. Why dont you look into getting Jillian Michaels new book "unlimited" well worth a lool.

Lets do this one step at a time :-) x

brittaney10811

thanks everyone. It makes me feel good that the love my husband and i have is easily visible even in photos. He's my entire world and my best friend.
In response to an earilier post, no, i don't think he picked wrong (because i know no one could ever love him as much as i do!), i just think he deserves a beautiful woman on his arm, and that i'm failing on my part of the deal to be that for him...

deksgrl

You haven't failed, you are beautiful. But..... you could be healthier and happier, yes? So, what is your action plan to take steps in that direction?

cygnetpro

You have to want it more than the discomfort of dieting and exercise displeases you.

Until you reach that point, you will continue down the road you are on. There is no magic potion or silver bullet or answer for you, it allresides within your own heart to accomplish or to set down.

What he said. I've been there, too. For me, I think that failure started to feel very comfortable. I'd lose a few pounds, and then declare victory and go back to my sedentary life and eating/drinking habits. I really had to change my mindset. I started visualizing what I really wanted in my life, and told myself that old "journey of a thousand steps" quote over and over. I still have a way to go, but for the past two weeks, I have dragged my tired rear out of bed to zumba before my kids get up. I eat between 1200 and 1300 calories. Not much junk food, and no wine. I haven't weighed myself, but my pants fit better yesterday, and it actually occured to me that I needed a belt.

But I was ready to do it. I didn't want the way I look and feel now to be my future. You'll know it when you get there.

lmalaschak

If your sticking point is that you really feel tired and lazy after work, maybe you could find a way to go with it. I don't know what your schedule is, but...could there be a way to do your exercise BEFORE you to go work instead? Then you can give yourself permission to be as lazy as you want in the evenings. I know I like to lounge on the couch at night too. I know this doesn't address the real problem of losing motivation (been there as well), but it is just another thought...These people are right. Sometimes it happens.