Friend snobs

Arcamanda

Hi,
Just wondering why some people seem stingy about who their friend are on this app? I guess everybody is different but aren't we all here striving for the same goals? I love friends, the more the better!
It kind of puts me off when I ask to friend somebody (i always include a message!) and they completely blow me off. These same people are in the community forums over and over again so its not like I am asking people who never log in.
So if you feel the same way and we are not friends yet please friend me, i wont let you down...LOL

dls06

I am on the forums but don't have any friends. I have been here for over a year and all the friend I had in the beginning all left. I decided I want to be on my own. If I need advice, I'll ask and I know my MFP family will be there to help me. :drinker:

CMmrsfloyd

This topic gets discussed a lot actually. People have their reasons. Some really only friend people they already know IRL. Some like to keep their list small b/c they don't want the list to get so big that they can't offer support to everyone. Some keep their list to people of similar fitness levels/goals/nutritional priorities/etc.

eoney

Maybe some people are more comfortable with the anonymity that comes with a general forum post...the actual personal journey part itself may be, well, very personal? That's my best "positive attitude" guess...but I agree with you, they're missing out! Friend request coming atcha! :-)

RyanDanielle5101

I keep my FL at a low number so I can truly support all of my friends:) I am super busy with my kids and life in general so I keep it low and I usually have time to comment on everyone’s workouts or diary!! I everyone on my FL

sexymumma1988

ive been here for ages to lost allot since i started gained abit over christmas hehe but back on track again not far to go now which is the hardest, id love to have friends on here i think the more who help each other the more likely to succeed to be honest

msmellebelle

I know what you mean. Sometimes it seems like people just ignore ya! i always try to htink that they wouldn't have been very supportive friendwise anyway...i agree with you...the more friends the better!

MissFit0101

Being selective about who you have as friends is hardly being a snob.

engineman312

i have way too many friends, and just closed the doors to new ones. i just can't interact with them all, and i really like to.

YukonJoy

Being selective about who you have as friends is hardly being a snob.

Exactly this.


Also I don't get along with stupid people.

MaximalLife

Hi,
Just wondering why some people seem stingy about who their friend are on this app? I guess everybody is different but aren't we all here striving for the same goals? I love friends, the more the better!
It kind of puts me off when I ask to friend somebody (i always include a message!) and they completely blow me off. These same people are in the community forums over and over again so its not like I am asking people who never log in.
So if you feel the same way and we are not friends yet please friend me, i wont let you down...LOL

I say the more the merrier, but some like closer interaction with their friends which is ok. And some want only males or females a certain age....

And some just detest me and enjoy getting the chance to REJECT - :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Whatever floats your boat. I wouldn't call them snobs.

It's not like I'm laying here listening to depressing songs with a loaded gun in my mouth waiting for somebody to accept my overtures. I welcome ALL!

And I enjoy and need the support - THANK YOU!

tamheath

I agree that a person can be selective, and I wouldn't want to have so many friends that I can't keep up with them all. But to just ignore a request seems rude to me. :frown:

Jellyphant

I've had friends who have been along with me since the beginning, through all my struggles and still stuck around. And SOME that see that I don't log for one day or take a break from MFP for 3 fricken days, and delete me. It strikes me as extremely snobby and obsessive with a stupid friendslist. Besides, aren't friends supposed to stick with you, instead of dumping you to the side if you don't meet their standards? I NEVER delete any of my friends, even after months of not logging in, because everyone has a life outside of this website, and they ALWAYS come back! It is NOT that serious, guys.

peacek

It's OK. You just have to meet the right kind that wants to be friends!!
Look for the friend request in your mailbox

lcnelson

I have been on here for almost a year, but have just 5 friends. To be honest, most of them are 'pet people' like me! I erase all 'activity feeds' from my home page, which I did not know even existed until a couple of months ago. I am not a facebooker either, so I get I am a rare breed on here. I totally am all about posting in the forums for ideas, advice, support and encouragement! Not a snob whatsoever, just don't have the time to comment on everyone's daily diary and exercise!

sister_bear

I have about 30+ friends and most of them don't log in so I get spammed with messages about how they're not logging in. There are a small handful I keep up with, but time zone issues suck. I'm on Eastern time and get up early in the morning. I'm usually asleep when every one of my mfp friends are completing their diaries for the day which hinders my ability to cheerlead for them. I seem to have the best luck with the UK friends and a friend who lives in my state/my time zone, but I'm not here because of them.

I was also initially frustrated with some of the friend requests I was receiving. Some people just seem to friend hoard. I was overwhelmed with requests from people looking to lose like 10 lbs when I joined, which made me feel like a fatty.

I've also reached the point were I don't really need much support. If someone bothers to send me a note with their request, I usually accept it -- as stated in my profile.

This is why I'm a friend snob. :drinker:

therealangd

I'm not friends with everybody I know in the real world, why would I want to be friends with everyone in the internet world? Some people you get along with, some people you don't. Some people you know you are not going to get along with by the things they say and do. Why would you hang around with them? It has nothing to do with being a snob.

BanjoKd

I don't usually put a reason when i friend someone...otherwise it would be the same for every single friend i add. I just like to think that we're all here for the same reasons and have similar goals. So be it if they don't friend me...shrug...more support to spread in another direction.

rbryntes

Hi,
Just wondering why some people seem stingy about who their friend are on this app? I guess everybody is different but aren't we all here striving for the same goals? I love friends, the more the better!
It kind of puts me off when I ask to friend somebody (i always include a message!) and they completely blow me off. These same people are in the community forums over and over again so its not like I am asking people who never log in.
So if you feel the same way and we are not friends yet please friend me, i wont let you down...LOL

Honestly, if we're talking about you specifically? I don't know much about you. Your profile isn't filled out, I can't see any wall posts because we aren't friends, and you've posted in the forums 3 times, one of which was this post. You say we all have the same goals but I would argue that we may have all come to MFP with similar and/or related goals, but my goals may not be the same as yours, or my way of going about reaching my goals may not be the same. For example, if you were someone who wants to work out through the power of a specific religious entity, or if you wanted to worship at the shrine of a particular drink shake or diet supplement, that would likely not align with me and my personality, so we probably would grate on each other's nerves. And conversely, my beliefs would not align with yours.

Since there's no information about you in your profile and I can't see anything else about you, I would probably decline a friend request from you.

(You asked why people declined, just giving you an example)

Qarol

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snob

My friends should feel special. :blushing:

AshleyLauren589

I agree! I tend to request people who have interesting things to say on the boards so that I can find the good topics and sift through some of the not so interesting ones, but if they don't want to be my friend that's their prerogative.

Sending a FR your way!

millionsofpeaches

I like to surround myself with people that have similar goals...

I am not snobby about who friends me but I rarely request to be friends with anyone. I also like to keep my friends list small so I can keep up with everyone and focus on them. If I have more than 50 or so friends it gets hard to remember everyone. Other than that, the only thing I ask people to do is put a note in the request so I can see why they want to be my friend. Also, if someone has no profile pic, no interaction, and no message... I do deny them.

This is my philosophy behind my friends list. I don't think its snobby. However, I do like to have genuine connections with the people that see all of my stuff.

rbryntes

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snob

My friends should feel special. :blushing:

And I do, every second of every day

jpalimpsest

I'm introverted and maintain a small, but close, circle of friends in real life. Does that make me a snob? I should hope not.

How is friending in MFP any different?

Extroverts may want a ton of MFP friends. As an introvert, that would be overwhelming, draining, stressful, and counter-productive.

rainbowbuggy

Well I believe the purpose of " fitness friends" is to support them and if your list is so big, how can you possibly do that? I purposely keep my friend list small so that I can help and support along the way. For me, it’s not about the quantity of friends, it’s the quality of friends. If your friends aren't supporting you along the way or aren't logging in for days and weeks...how is that helping you? I say if you’re working towards a fitness goal, find friends that you have things in common with and that want to help you succeed; then get to the know them. But if you’re not looking for genuine support then by all means, add everyone.

carlie_carl

Hi,
Just wondering why some people seem stingy about who their friend are on this app? I guess everybody is different but aren't we all here striving for the same goals? I love friends, the more the better!
It kind of puts me off when I ask to friend somebody (i always include a message!) and they completely blow me off. These same people are in the community forums over and over again so its not like I am asking people who never log in.
So if you feel the same way and we are not friends yet please friend me, i wont let you down...LOL

your a trooper! :P I dont add people but I know you wont let me down I have faith lol :-)

_SusieQ_

I'm not friends with everybody I know in the real world, why would I want to be friends with everyone in the internet world? Some people you get along with, some people you don't. Some people you know you are not going to get along with by the things they say and do. Why would you hang around with them? It has nothing to do with being a snob.

Was starting to type a response then found this and decided it totally summed up what I was going to say.

I will add that when I first started I added pretty much anyone/everyone. Now I have a solid friends list, people I have gotten to know and trust. I say things on my wall I may not want the general public to see, so for me it's partly a trust thing as well as having support.

_SusieQ_

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snob

My friends should feel special. :blushing:

And I do, every second of every day

Me too.

rml_16

I rarely send friend requests and if I do it's because I feel like there's a connection with someone. If I appreciate your sense of humor or intelligence and see it demonstrated over and over, I will send a request.

If you send me one, usually I will accept, but I may not keep you if I don't feel like we click.

If we all friended everyone on the site, we'd never be able to keep up.

WHY should I be friends with you? Just because we're both exercising and eating healthy? That isn't a reason.

ilookthetype

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snob

My friends should feel special. :blushing:

I do, Q.

I'm also a friend snob. I try to keep my list to people who make me laugh, who I find inspiring, and with whom I can communicate regularly.

Also, I have a huge list of food intolerances and an eating disorder history, so I try to avoid people who routinely under eat.

What it really comes down to is that MFP isn't a popularity contest, it doesn't matter if people reject you, if you like your friend and you are making progress call it a good day.

mtperry9

Personal preference I suppose. I don't mind out here having whoever friend. Try to keep my more social media sites restricted.