Friend snobs

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135

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  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    Hi,
    Just wondering why some people seem stingy about who their friend are on this app? I guess everybody is different but aren't we all here striving for the same goals? I love friends, the more the better!
    It kind of puts me off when I ask to friend somebody (i always include a message!) and they completely blow me off. These same people are in the community forums over and over again so its not like I am asking people who never log in.
    So if you feel the same way and we are not friends yet please friend me, i wont let you down...LOL

    I prefere to hear the opinions/observations of those few that I have come to know, respect and share with, rather than acquire hundreds of new friends that become to cumbersome to follow. It's just a steady stream of FB like arbitrary comment streams. Much harder to mine the diamonds out of the sludge.

    Quality vs Quantity.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,108 Member
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    To the OP. Don't take it personally. When a stranger on the internet "rejects" your friend request, it is really not about you.
  • AlSalzman
    AlSalzman Posts: 296 Member
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    I friend'd a bunch of nasty hoes, and they were all innapropriate on my profile like, "Oooh, your pics r so sexy, we wanna touch your crotchal region..." and my wife was all, "Oh, hell no! Un-friend all those nasty hoes!"

    So now I'm picky.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    :)
    LOL I actually agree with A LOT of this...my original post was just kind of a spur of the moment thing after I read a post one of my "reject friends" had responded to. I probably will feel the same way when my friend list grows! I don't feel like I have to respond to all of my friends status updates and i respond only when i have time. I am a wife, I have a 6 month old and a 5 year old, I work full time as a nurse and I have little time for myself. As far as being an idiot, well I guess I can be that sometimes too! :) Thanks to those that friended me and to those that didn't thank you too!

    Yep. I hate to decline friend requests too. So now I have a list of over 150 people. Some of whom I never talk to. After a while you learn the benefits of being discerning. It's never meant to be rude or snobbish. There are just so many people that a person can have any kind of meaningful interaction with.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    I friend'd a bunch of nasty hoes, and they were all innapropriate on my profile like, "Oooh, your pics r so sexy, we wanna touch your crotchal region..." and my wife was all, "Oh, hell no! Un-friend all those nasty hoes!"

    So now I'm picky.

    One man's loss is another man's gain.

    With heartfelt love to all my nasty hoes!
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I'm not snobby. I'm shy.
  • Arcamanda
    Arcamanda Posts: 15 Member
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    Yes I understand, thank you. I am new here and am looking for a lot of support and motivation. I've gotten over 40 new friend requests since posting this and I will try and update my profile.
  • erika010
    erika010 Posts: 28 Member
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    For me personally, I don't care who "friends" me on here. I put that in quotes because I honestly believe you can only have true friends in real life, and while I very much am grateful for the support I get on here, MFP is only for my weight loss life. There are many other facets that I don't and won't share on here (I have no idea why anyone posts anything other than weight specific topics on here but that's just me).

    Don't take it personally, if you feel like you want more weight loss friends I would join a running/workout group, weight watchers, something like that, to meet real life new friends!
  • theskinnyonme
    theskinnyonme Posts: 443 Member
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    People can be choosy. To each thier own, Im happy to add new friends...I have plenty of room. :)
  • onefitdiva
    onefitdiva Posts: 331 Member
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    Hi,
    Just wondering why some people seem stingy about who their friend are on this app? I guess everybody is different but aren't we all here striving for the same goals? I love friends, the more the better!
    It kind of puts me off when I ask to friend somebody (i always include a message!) and they completely blow me off. These same people are in the community forums over and over again so its not like I am asking people who never log in.
    So if you feel the same way and we are not friends yet please friend me, i wont let you down...LOL

    I prefere to hear the opinions/observations of those few that I have come to know, respect and share with, rather than acquire hundreds of new friends that become to cumbersome to follow. It's just a steady stream of FB like arbitrary comment streams. Much harder to mine the diamonds out of the sludge.

    Quality vs Quantity.

    ^^^^ This. I can speak from both sides here, I did have a friends list at one time well over 300, a lot of people I never heard from or I never saw post so I could not support or comment. I cut my list dramatically and now am very selective. I enjoy getting to know the people I have. As RD said Quality vs Quanity.
  • Arcamanda
    Arcamanda Posts: 15 Member
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    My fitness pals don't have similar goals???? Um......to get fit I thought?
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    OP, I don't think you've sent me a request but if so, I probably did not accept it. It's nothing personal. I have a few friends that I accepted when doing a Zumba challenge but I rarely have any interaction with them other than an rare "good job". They or I ever ask for advice. I do frequent the boards, but I just don't get the friends thing.

    So to anyone that has sent me a friend request, I have not ignored the request out of snobbery or anything against you personally.

    As to everyone being here for the same reason, I'd have to answer that with a resounding no. Many people on here have very different goals than mine. I just want to be healthy. Healthy weight, healthy check-ups, energy, stamina, balance, etc. I don't care about dropping my BF very low, I don't care about counting carbs or fat or protein. I don't care about lifting heavy or running marathons. I don't care what cavemen ate or have any desire to eat like one. I don't care about a lot of things that a lot of members care about.
  • MissFit0101
    MissFit0101 Posts: 2,382
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    My fitness pals don't have similar goals???? Um......to get fit I thought?

    No, not everyone wants to be fit, or healthy for that matter.
  • rbryntes
    rbryntes Posts: 710 Member
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    My fitness pals don't have similar goals???? Um......to get fit I thought?

    Are you responding to a specific post?
  • Just1forMe
    Just1forMe Posts: 624 Member
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    Every one is different and has different reasons for whom they friend. I personally have had enough friends that I've accepted than found that I had nothing in common with (they were doing crash diets, etc) at all, so now I try to have friends that are like-minded, similar in age with similar issues etc. This isn't Facebook....I'm not here to gather the most friends, I'm here on a journey to health and fitness and I want to surround myself with those on a similar journey (preferably people I actually like!). I make this pretty clear in my profile and yet I still get friend requests from 20 year olds who have 5 lbs to lose.
  • Just1forMe
    Just1forMe Posts: 624 Member
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    Hi,
    Just wondering why some people seem stingy about who their friend are on this app? I guess everybody is different but aren't we all here striving for the same goals? I love friends, the more the better!
    It kind of puts me off when I ask to friend somebody (i always include a message!) and they completely blow me off. These same people are in the community forums over and over again so its not like I am asking people who never log in.
    So if you feel the same way and we are not friends yet please friend me, i wont let you down...LOL

    Honestly, if we're talking about you specifically? I don't know much about you. Your profile isn't filled out, I can't see any wall posts because we aren't friends, and you've posted in the forums 3 times, one of which was this post. You say we all have the same goals but I would argue that we may have all come to MFP with similar and/or related goals, but my goals may not be the same as yours, or my way of going about reaching my goals may not be the same. For example, if you were someone who wants to work out through the power of a specific religious entity, or if you wanted to worship at the shrine of a particular drink shake or diet supplement, that would likely not align with me and my personality, so we probably would grate on each other's nerves. And conversely, my beliefs would not align with yours.

    Since there's no information about you in your profile and I can't see anything else about you, I would probably decline a friend request from you.

    (You asked why people declined, just giving you an example)

    Exactly! Couldn't have said it better. I've denied friend requests from people just like this for that reason alone...
    Since I've spelled it all out on my Profile Page, it makes it doubly mystifying to me as to why they are even sending me a request with no info, no similarities to me, etc. I guess they don't read before they send?
  • Arcamanda
    Arcamanda Posts: 15 Member
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    If Healthy mind=healthy body. Some of you are really unhealthy. ....just sayin :P
  • Arcamanda
    Arcamanda Posts: 15 Member
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    I usually only ask to be friends with someone I have things in common with. Some people on here who are posting snide comments, turns out we have a lot in common! Friend me LOL
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Yes I understand, thank you. I am new here and am looking for a lot of support and motivation. I've gotten over 40 new friend requests since posting this and I will try and update my profile.
    I looked at your profile earlier and you had 97 friends. For being new, that's pretty good.

    I had about that many and I've been here a couple years. I trimmed about 30 of them last week because they were people I just never interact with and some friended me and then never posted anything and I forgot who they even were.

    So, I'm not sure what you're complaining about with nearly 100 friends already. How many do you need?
  • Arcamanda
    Arcamanda Posts: 15 Member
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    My Facebook account on the other hand is very private. I have personal pictures, posts etc... on there. I keep a small amount of select friends and family and never send friend requests to people I don't know. So I actually understand. I was just looking for a lot of support and motivation from other users. Selfish of me really. And no I didn't send you a friend request. I sent a friend request to a couple of moms in their 20's like me who had some weight to lose

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