My ex left me because I'm fat. :(

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  • ClarkAddison
    ClarkAddison Posts: 86 Member
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    Ok. First of all... he left you because he is an @**hole... not because you are fat!!!!

    Let me give you a guys perspective. ^This. fyi, I've been married close to 25 years.
  • mleoni092708
    mleoni092708 Posts: 629 Member
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    Seriously, he's a complete *kitten* and it's a blessing he left! May not seem like it now, but it's true. You definitely deserve waaaay better than him. Now you can find the "right" one. Someone who loves you for you. Stuff like this makes me so mad. I will send prayers your way that any pain you are feeling from this breakup goes away quickly :)
  • sdguy2002
    sdguy2002 Posts: 84 Member
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    Congratulations on the loss; of both! Keep up the good work. Believe in yourself and consider yourself lucky to be rid of person with such minimum substance.
  • joeylu
    joeylu Posts: 208 Member
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    YOur ex left you before you could leave him. I bet when you two met you had low self esteem and now its growing and he knew you would see you deserved better. He told you he left you because you were fat was his final way of hurting you for the great accomplishment you made.
  • ionlyhavesporx
    ionlyhavesporx Posts: 120
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    That has got to be the most shallow, bull****, cowardly thing any man has ever said to a woman. I'm sorry you had to deal with that but you're better off without a *kitten* like that!
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
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    OK, I believe he didn't leave you because you're fat...he left you because he got scared. I see by your ticker that you have made astounding progress, so ask yourself why he would wait til now to leave. He is probably a very insecure "@#$ hole" who needed to put you down in order for himself to look big!! He has managed to transfer all this crap onto your shoulders for about long enough. I know it's hard, but pick yourself up, dust your pretty little (yes, little) self right off, and achieve the rest of your goal! Not for him...but for you because YOU are worth it, and some day some guy (real man) will come along and show you just how precious you really are!!

    Exactly this. ^^^^ Unfortunately he was under your skin and could pick the one thing that would hurt you the most as an excuse. He is a liar. He knew it would feel like a slap in the face. It wasnt' becuase you were to fat, it was because you were too strong and getting stronger and sooner or later you would have realized you deserve soooooo much better.

    I know it is not easy, but you can do it. You can get over him move and be all the better for it. I feel bad for his next victim. :ohwell:

    Best wishes and we are all here for you ((((hugs)))))
  • metco89
    metco89 Posts: 578 Member
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    OK, I believe he didn't leave you because you're fat...he left you because he got scared. I see by your ticker that you have made astounding progress, so ask yourself why he would wait til now to leave. He is probably a very insecure "@#$ hole" who needed to put you down in order for himself to look big!! He has managed to transfer all this crap onto your shoulders for about long enough. I know it's hard, but pick yourself up, dust your pretty little (yes, little) self right off, and achieve the rest of your goal! Not for him...but for you because YOU are worth it, and some day some guy (real man) will come along and show you just how precious you really are!!
  • amy3cc
    amy3cc Posts: 16 Member
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    I'm going with Heidi1558--wanker should be used much more in the USA. Made me giggle. And BTW, your ex is a complete buttmunch. What the heck? 150lbs is NOT fat. Good for you for your weight loss journey, and you will find someone who is worth your time. Your ex was obviously not.
  • bzworld21
    bzworld21 Posts: 7
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    Hold up!! Men, ugghhh! Seriously, he said that because he knew that was a way to get to you, hurt you. Its something that you have been working on and he knows that. Its just an excuse.......... Girl, you are way better without him. Dont let some idiot make you feel bad about yourself. Reverse it, and keep in mind that you have come so far and will continue to be a stronger woman, WITHOUT THE LOSER.
  • RheneeB
    RheneeB Posts: 461 Member
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    I do not believe that he left you because you were "fat".....that was just the chicken sh--ts way of getting out because he was too immature to handle it like a man. Sounds to me like you are better off without him even though it may not seem it at the time. If he had any compassion or respect for you at all, he would have never spoken to you like that. It is one thing when someone unintentionally hurts your feelings but this idiot probably knows your own personal issues you have had with your weight and used it as a tool to intentionally hurt you. To heck with him and as my mama said to me when I escaped from a three year abusive marriage.........."The best revenge is to look good and live well". You pull your chin up and pat yourself on the back for the amazing accomplishment that you have achieved so far. Just know that one day when he sees you at a mall, or grocery store or drug store (while he is picking up tampons and diapers for his new woman) that he is gonna look at you at think "Damn, what was I thinking"!!!!!!!!!
  • DonnaLFitz
    DonnaLFitz Posts: 270 Member
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    Good riddance. Had a guy do that to me once ... and I was not even oveweight. He was a dyslexic anorexic -- thought everyone else should be scrawny.
  • time2shine29
    time2shine29 Posts: 104 Member
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    Ok. First of all... he left you because he is an @**hole... not because you are fat!!!!

    Agree totally!!! You are better off without him. You sound like your doing a lot to be happy and healthy and the right guy will come along when the time is right! :)
  • Shaysuki926
    Shaysuki926 Posts: 34 Member
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    You know what? Forget about him. You are losing weight, feeling good about how you look and great things are coming your way and even better men out there who are looking for someone JUST LIKE YOU! You keep on doing what you are doing and don't even give that *kitten* a second thought. Of course you are sad, it is natural to feel that way but look at this as a new beginning to your life. Use that sadness and anger to motivate you towards your goal and when he ever decides to come crawling back to you, you make sure you turn your cute *kitten* around, slap it and tell him to kiss off! You got this sista!!!
  • sdrawkcabynot
    sdrawkcabynot Posts: 466 Member
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    What a jacka$$! Just let it fuel your fire. I agree with the others. Don't get depressed - get angry and motivated to keep on going. I realize there is a lot of emotional attachment - but apparently he is not the right person for you. Just know there is better guys out there for you :D
  • HealthyHappy120
    HealthyHappy120 Posts: 262
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    You are sooo much better off! You are lucky you didn't marry that *kitten*! GRR! My ex was like that too though. He was (is) a wrestler and was extremely fit with abs and everything, constantly talking about food and the gym and made me feel like I had to be fit too! That made me never feel good enough for him with the slightest flab and once he even asked if my shirt was his shirt! cuz i guess it looked big to him (but it was a medium!) whatever. that was 3 years ago and we don't need to ever go back. once we get to our goal weights lets get a guy who will cherish us for who we are on the inside. guys will be guys and if they see something they think is better they'll chase it regardless, it's not our faults
  • morrowsarah
    morrowsarah Posts: 240 Member
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    I agree with the get mad posts. He didn't leave you because your fat, that is just the excuse he gave you because he knew how to get to you. Put your anger and frustration into eating healthy and getting up off the couch. Get the rest of your weight off and get in shape and be on the search for a good man that will treat you with the respect you deserve.
  • paigemarie93
    paigemarie93 Posts: 778 Member
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    First thing, you've done incredibly well on losing the amount you have & you most certainly are not fat!
    Secondly, stay strong & healthy, then you can show him what he's missing out on when you're at your goal weight, whilst he's stuck with a pregnant chick & a kid that isn't his.
  • vvanm
    vvanm Posts: 157
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    Sometimes relationships just run their course and end. You want a guy with staying power, and that wasn't this guy. Now you know and can move on to better things. You have shown great strength losing the weight and you should feel great about yourself! People who have never had to lose weight have no idea what stubborn determination that takes. Now you can choose to thrive and find a relationship that nurtures you. Some day you may cross paths and discover that he is the overweight one ;) That's what happened to me, anyway, lol.
  • madubil
    madubil Posts: 131 Member
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    So I cant really say anything that hasnt already been said- but I can say this- the guy is a prick. And I would bet his leaving had very little to do with your weight. It was just an excuse- and a hurtful one. And someday this will come back to him. Karma is truly a *****.

    I know its little comfort- but he basically just said " Oh hey, my name is Fred and I'm a total prick, I'm going to do you a really big favor now and leave to go mess up someone elses life..." Let him.

    Now- the next move is yours. You have the luxury of deciding how this plays out in your life.

    Sort of a choose your own adventure if you will...

    will you go down the path of beating yourself up and feeling crappy about yourself? Whats the outcome and effect this can have on your life?

    OR

    Do you high five yourself for losing a rotten part of your life, leaving the door open to a fantastic future for yourself. You have lost a great deal of your own weight- plus the weight of a jack *kitten* perched on your shoulder.

    There will be other guys- MANY MANY Other guys- some jerks some great. But trust me- - MANY MANY MANY other guys. Dont sweat this one- be glad he didnt further waste your time. And relish the time when you will run into him, her and someone elses kid... and you will look and feel like a million bucks. I can pretty much promise you he WONT feel like a million bucks..
  • metco89
    metco89 Posts: 578 Member
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    i am not good with the quote thing, i quoted someone and then didn't get my reply in. However I agree he left cause of his own insecurity. You are moving forward and reaching your goals and it scares him. I know how hard it is but with time you will look back and be like "what was i thinking?" Success is the best revenge. He doesn't deserve you and will find out the grass is not greener and by then you will have fully moved on and be leading the happy and serene life.

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