My ex left me because I'm fat. :(

p0stdramatic

if that was his excuse and if that's a reason he not only an @$$hole but a coward too

So he'd still be an a-hole for leaving because he doesn't love her anymore? I'm for supporting people, but really we're only hearing one side of the story. His version could be different. I am supposing no one here personally knows the OP or her ex, so we can only go on what's she's said, but to say the guy's an a-hole without really knowing the full facts is a little judgmental.
Just saying don't take everything you read on the internet as gospel.

When my wife admitted how unattractive I was fat, I never took it as anything but a wake up call.
Eventually, she'd have left, and I'd have had only myself to blame.
Love is not blind.

And if the shoe was or is ever on the other foot, I'd be gone.
Part of compatibility with me is staying fit.

Like my wife, I am totally turned off by obesity.
I would divorce her and she me.

That's reality.

That's sad.

Whatadiaryisfor

I have a feeling there's more to this story.

Y'all are like that mob of villagers armed with pitchforks and torches goin to kill frankenstein when it comes to stuff like this.

LOL...only because...I kinda agree.....but we are armed with pitchforks and torches for the "perception" of him (in her eyes and communicated to us), rather than him. If that makes any sense. I know because I have been the "A-hole" before and standing there seeing what folks said about me going...."WTH--I'm a nice person...what are these people thinking". LOL.

That being said, the original poster came her for support and we RALLIED and gave it to her. YEAH us!!!!

lol. I just came here for support the last thing I need to read are "well what about the ex?" com'n you guys really want to defend my ex or something? I need motivation advice please for me (:

TriedEverything

I haven't read through everyone's comments, but just wanted to say that I sympathise - my husband and I have had lots of rows about my weight, and I've thought we might split up on several occasions. However, he's being quite supportive at the moment, as I think he knows I mean business with the weight loss this time. But it seems like your ex didn't give you a chance :frown: . He sounds very shallow, and as I'm sure many others have said, you are better off without him.

I know this has probably knocked your confidence a lot, but try to look to the future - you will meet someone better, and you will soon be slimmer and healthier too. There's a great life waiting for you just around the corner! Wishing you all the best :flowerforyou:

atlantapiper

You are lucky he left! You deserve much better than someone like that! You have to tell yourself that everyday! Don't ever settle for someone who makes you feel bad about yourself!

TriedEverything

:blushing: Sorry, accidentally made a duplicate post, and don't know how to delete it, so this is me "editing" it (D'oh!)

StaceySMC4

What a shallow person!!! Women have so much to live up to these days! My sister is going through a divorce and it is hard on her and she ran into her soon to be ex-husand and he told her "you will never lose that weight" - oh that made me so mad! So mad that I am her MOTIVATOR and BIGGEST FAN AND SUPPORTER! She is going to get in the best shape of her life. He doesn't deserve her and niether does your ex deserve you! You will do it! Stay strong and PUSH THROUGH IT! I've put on weight since I married and I am divorced and put on more weight because of depression - but I finally said, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. You can do this! We can all do this!!! 2012 is going to be a better year for all of us! I PROMISE! "I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13

leafstucker16

If I had half of the amount of drive and determination that you have I would be set! 73 lbs so far, I am stuck in the biggest rut right now but it's people like you that are inspiration for me to get off my butt and back to work! You've done awesome and you will do even better without someone who is negative like that

ninerbuff

Thank you! MFP doesn't have to know me, my ex, or the entire story in detail. THE FACT is that he left me and he told me it was because I'm fat.. He was a jerk for putting me down and if he didn't love me he could've broken up with me differently and just been honest..

I'm just saying that there are 2 sides to every story. If he stayed with you for 6 years while you were overweight, it seems odd now that he'd leave you saying that you're fat, but have been losing weight.

A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

greenpollywawg

QUOTE:


QUOTE:
QUOTE:

if that was his excuse and if that's a reason he not only an @$$hole but a coward too

So he'd still be an a-hole for leaving because he doesn't love her anymore? I'm for supporting people, but really we're only hearing one side of the story. His version could be different. I am supposing no one here personally knows the OP or her ex, so we can only go on what's she's said, but to say the guy's an a-hole without really knowing the full facts is a little judgmental.
Just saying don't take everything you read on the internet as gospel.

When my wife admitted how unattractive I was fat, I never took it as anything but a wake up call.
Eventually, she'd have left, and I'd have had only myself to blame.
Love is not blind.

And if the shoe was or is ever on the other foot, I'd be gone.
Part of compatibility with me is staying fit.

Like my wife, I am totally turned off by obesity.
I would divorce her and she me.

That's reality.



Except the OP was heavier earlier in the relationship than she is now, and at 152lbs, could hardly be considered obese.


Well, well, no I don't know the OP or any of you personally, but I seem to have made it my life goal to know about as_holes, as I have married a few myself, and it is just the fact that this guy is a COWARD if he can't stand up, man up, and tell this woman the "truth"! Just sayin'.

kandrews24

Sounds like he was just looking for any excuse to leave you. His loss.

^^^ This. Sounds actually like he wanted to really hurt you (and he found a good way to do accomplish his goal). He wanted to leave, he was unhappy, he is so low that he played the fat card. You must be at or very close to your healthy weight. Fat was not the issue. I don't know what the issue was, but it wasn't fat. Regardless, know that it wasn't meant to be and that you are on your way to a better and whole person. I can't imagine how painful this is, but try to see it for what it is = he was mad/angry/unhappy and he turned that on you. You could call him up tomorrow and say "Oh by the way, I slept with your brother, but never told you." It wouldn't be true, but you might really piss him off. That's what he did to you. He hit below the belt. Not fair, not worth your attention.

Take care of yourself.

jmorrisof2

I can't believe some men out here. Nothing is wrong with you, it is all him. I don't think he could handle your success and tried to put you down because he is insecure. Please don't let him make you doubt your worth. If anything, use this experience as fuel to hit your goal. Don't give up. You are so worth it.

Nattiejean57

I have a feeling there's more to this story.

Y'all are like that mob of villagers armed with pitchforks and torches goin to kill frankenstein when it comes to stuff like this.

LOL...only because...I kinda agree.....but we are armed with pitchforks and torches for the "perception" of him (in her eyes and communicated to us), rather than him. If that makes any sense. I know because I have been the "A-hole" before and standing there seeing what folks said about me going...."WTH--I'm a nice person...what are these people thinking". LOL.

That being said, the original poster came her for support and we RALLIED and gave it to her. YEAH us!!!!

Agreed, we rock.

Yes, there are two sides of the story and we are being judgemental. But really, who cares? He is not our friend. She is part of our community, so we rally. The point is not whether or not the guy is actually an @sshole. The point is that she is hurting and she needed some support, which was given.

I agree with that 100% she wanted support and I am here girl to support you

Nattiejean57

Thank you! MFP doesn't have to know me, my ex, or the entire story in detail. THE FACT is that he left me and he told me it was because I'm fat.. He was a jerk for putting me down and if he didn't love me he could've broken up with me differently and just been honest..

I'm just saying that there are 2 sides to every story. If he stayed with you for 6 years while you were overweight, it seems odd now that he'd leave you saying that you're fat, but have been losing weight.

A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Pointing being instead of saying what was really going on if he was in happy or just not in love anymore which happens he chose to pull the fat card, which doesn't even make sense instead of owning up to what was going on....defination of a coward

greenpollywawg

I am very passionate about this subject, probably due to the fact that several "men" (term used lightly) wouldn't date me or even acknowledge me when I was overweight. But, when I lost over 110 pounds and walked back into town...they were some of the first ones to ask me out! Imagine all you out there in MFP-land the fun I got from turning my back and ignoring them for their shallowness. There are several forms of love...1) is conditional, such as one person stated when he told about his wifes ultimatum, and another 2) is agape love....unending, unconditional, UNSELFISH. A lesson we should all learn.

MaximalLife

if that was his excuse and if that's a reason he not only an @$$hole but a coward too

So he'd still be an a-hole for leaving because he doesn't love her anymore? I'm for supporting people, but really we're only hearing one side of the story. His version could be different. I am supposing no one here personally knows the OP or her ex, so we can only go on what's she's said, but to say the guy's an a-hole without really knowing the full facts is a little judgmental.
Just saying don't take everything you read on the internet as gospel.

When my wife admitted how unattractive I was fat, I never took it as anything but a wake up call.
Eventually, she'd have left, and I'd have had only myself to blame.
Love is not blind.

And if the shoe was or is ever on the other foot, I'd be gone.
Part of compatibility with me is staying fit.

Like my wife, I am totally turned off by obesity.
I would divorce her and she me.

That's reality.

Except the OP was heavier earlier in the relationship than she is now, and at 152lbs, could hardly be considered obese.

TRUE!
And I totally support the OP, but many here are a bit too visceral, and I am detecting the dreaded fat acceptance philosophy seeping in.

I brought it up, because I know that pain, and we can use pain to motivate.

Nattiejean57

I am very passionate about this subject, probably due to the fact that several "men" (term used lightly) wouldn't date me or even acknowledge me when I was overweight. But, when I lost over 110 pounds and walked back into town...they were some of the first ones to ask me out! Imagine all you out there in MFP-land the fun I got from turning my back and ignoring them for their shallowness. There are several forms of love...1) is conditional, such as one person stated when he told about his wifes ultimatum, and another 2) is agape love....unending, unconditional, UNSELFISH. A lesson we should all learn.

Amen

MaximalLife

if that was his excuse and if that's a reason he not only an @$$hole but a coward too

So he'd still be an a-hole for leaving because he doesn't love her anymore? I'm for supporting people, but really we're only hearing one side of the story. His version could be different. I am supposing no one here personally knows the OP or her ex, so we can only go on what's she's said, but to say the guy's an a-hole without really knowing the full facts is a little judgmental.
Just saying don't take everything you read on the internet as gospel.

When my wife admitted how unattractive I was fat, I never took it as anything but a wake up call.
Eventually, she'd have left, and I'd have had only myself to blame.
Love is not blind.

And if the shoe was or is ever on the other foot, I'd be gone.
Part of compatibility with me is staying fit.

Like my wife, I am totally turned off by obesity.
I would divorce her and she me.

That's reality.

That's sad.

No, it's reality which is why she remains in peak condition, we've been together 30 years with 5 kids and are very happy.

For any relationship to last, both parties must be HONEST!
I've been married longer than probably anybody on this thread, so I think I am qualified to say that honesty about sex and attraction is a key ingredient to maintaining a solid union.

The sad relationships are those where everybody says everything is fine when it is not.

eva1valeska

You have already done yourself justices by all the weight you already lost. Be proud of yourself and do it for you and not others.
I have a husband that always told me that I was fat as well. It keep me from my goal, but now I know I only can do for myself.

Bikini_Bound150

Just IMAGINE the look of "WTF DID I DO" on his face when you walk past him and his girl friends who's baby he's raising when you are at your goal!!! His jaw will fall to the floor and he won't be able to have you back!!

Do something great for yourself, RIGHT NOW!! Go get your hair done, get your nails done, go shopping. WHATEVER MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOU! Because his *kitten*, *kitten* self shouldn't have the power to make you feel like less than you are!

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Fat_Bottomed_Girl

You know what you do when your SO tells you that you're fat? -You drop the extra weight. THEM.


-Unless, of course, they are telling you because they are TRULY worried about YOU. Then, it's time to suck it up and come to terms with reality. When someone is caring enough to put themselves in an uncomfortable situation because they love you, it's a whole different matter.