About to Call it Quits

leannems

"Also I can't eat what I want when I want and how much I want."

That's true if eating what you want, when you want, in the amounts you want causes you to gain weight. But if you start researching foods, you can find ways to eat something similar to what you want, but that's better for you. If we could just eat what we wanted in any amounts we wanted - no one would be fat.

"I get discourage when people yell at me for my opinion as if theirs is the only one that matter."

People on the internet tend to be mean. It's easy to be rude and angry because there's few consequences. That's true everywhere on the internet - not just on diet websites.

" I WANT A FREAKING HAMBURGER WITH LETTUCE, TOMATOES, PICKLES, AND LOAD AND LOADS OF KETCHUP AND MAYO!"

You can do that sometimes. The rest of the time, you gotta eat something else.

"Even a Chicken and Bacon Ranch sub from SubWay is about 500+ calories with just chicken, bacon, and the ranch."

It's the bacon and ranch. There's 3 other chicken subs that are 100+ less calories. You can also make this sub at home with pre-cooked bacon pieces and fat free ranch to save your calories. Like this isn't easy, but there's totally ways to do it.

"Walking ins't enough to burn calories, and can't afford a gym. And no I'm not about to run around my neighborhood and I kinda want to live to see my next birthday. Workout DvDs only work if you have room in your house to do so. Living with two other adults and 3 kids with only 2 working televisions doesn't give enough room to do half the moves these workout dvds say to do."

Dance to the radio. Dancing is awesome for burning calories, and you can do it in place. Like you have to admit that the paragraph above is just a list of excuses. If you want to work out, there are ways. You could even just jog in place or jump rope.

"I don't know how much longer I can go without seeing results. Nothing changed, not by the tape measure or the scale."

It takes time. And if you're not willing to give it time, you may not be ready. I've been on this site for over a year, and was never ready before. But I'm ready now. You might need to re-visit this when you aren't so negative, when something clicks in, when you're ready. But there are people here who will support you. It's just hard to lift someone up when they don't want to move with you.

JeSuisPrest

We all have those moments where we want to throw in the towel. This isn't easy. Have that hamburger then, but reach the calorie goal and if you go a little over, so what? You either want a healthier lifestyle or you don't. This is all up to you! There is nothing anyone can say to get you motivated, that is all you!

_GlaDOS_

You weigh 120? If I weighed 120 I would be able o e anything I want! 120 is the perfect weight for me given my height 5'10

Please be joking. Please don't weigh 120 lbs at 5'10".

JeSuisPrest

Leannems......beautiful advice and all well said!! :flowerforyou:

healthyyme

You have nothing to lose but fat! Walking is a great start. I lost my first 10 - 20 pounds by walking and eating healthier. You can do it Also, lifting weight will not make you bulky. Would you rather be 100 pounds of skinny fat, or 115 pounds of lean muscle?

jsmaas

I've experienced the same sort of swing you talk about. Get down to a level and jump back up.
When I'm being honest I can see where I've gotten smug and stopped working. That may not be your issue, it has been mine.
I also think our bodies get used to a certain weight and, somehow, get nervous when it's not getting the amount of food and calories it has come to expect -- so it rewards us for eating more and makes us nervous and dissatisfied when we don't.

The point of change for me has come when I look at no one else but myself and decide only I can make changes. I say this as a recent convert to weight loss and not convinced I'll sustain my change. But for now, I want to change and I will do what it takes.

BTW -- so far only 4#s gone. So we will see how focused I am. Want to join me?

anilyze

It sounds like you've already called it quits. You just listed all of the things you're NOT going to do. You're not going to exercise at home, not going to run in your neighborhood, not going to touch weights, etc. Not, not, not... It's not easy, but it's worth the EFFORT. And yes, you have to put in the effort and work for it. What ARE you going to do? If you want this then you have to be ready to work for it.
Will you travel to a safer area and run there? If you want to eat that hamburger regularly, then you should also try to make exercise a regular part of your life. Check out your local YMCA maybe. They give assistance to those with financial hardship; perhaps they can make it more affordable for you.

soteira

I just think that you might not be ready to do it... I have been wanting to loose weight for as long as I can remember but like you didn't want to stop eating my burgers with all the fixings and hey if I wanted a double whopper who was anybody to say that it wasn't good for me?!

Every single time I started to loose weight I got discouraged for that very reason cause I didn't want to do what I was suppose to do I wanted to loose weight but didn't want to hear nothing about giving up anything I love.

Through the years I have learned a thing or two every time I tried to loose and now I am ready to do what it takes to get there!

Good luck in your journey, when you are ready to do it you will find a way :flowerforyou:

j4nash

Personal advice.. from someone 9 years your senior.. I'd get into the healthy habit now otherwise it'll come to bite you in the *kitten* 10 years later.. it's easier at 22 to stay thin but if you develop these types of habits then you won't be at 120.. you'll be much more than that.. unless you don't eat much then maybe you'll be the exception but either way it's good to start now.

If there's a will there is a way.. no one can help you but yourself. And good luck

rayleansout

If you want this really want this then you wont quit, find a wya to do it your way and hell with everybody else. No shame in your game, do it your way!!

_xoxok

... & Here comes the negativity once again. Jeez, people... Give her a break. She obviously posted this because she needs positivity to pick her spirit back up.

Do NOT give up. If you need somebody to support you, add me. I've been on this journey for almost a year, & I've lost 0 pounds. I did lose a good bit of inches, but I've gained so much more. If you quit, think about how unhappy you will continue to be in the future. If you quit, more than likely you will start gaining weight & wonder why you never stuck with it to begin with. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Research exercises you can do that won't require a gym membership, or a tv. You're young. It's better to do it now then to wait. Trust me. Keep pushing! You can do this. :flowerforyou:

ViSabbi

You know, everything is about balance. You want that huge overwhelming burger, then eat it! Just don't eat that every single day of the week plus double on weekends Changing lifestyle isn't about privation, it's about moderation and good choices. IF you want it, then you can do it. It's in your hands, you have the knowledge, you have the support, but what is going on in your head, has a lot to do with your results. Positivity, efforts and consistency are the keys. Nothing happens over night!

Now it's time to get that motivation back, find the reason why you want to accomplish this, fill out your profile and add yourself some friends who will encourage you through your journey! Besides all the No, what are the yes?

BuildABetterMe

You'll read this as more negativity, but I promise you it's not. Just read all the way through before rolling your eyes and dismissing me. I ask this because I have been EXACTLY where you are.

I can't count the number of times that I've started a diet. Or bought workout equipment. Or joined a gym. Or wanted to fit into a pair of pants. Or wanted to look better for a beach trip. Or wanted a smaller belly. Or wanted muscles. Or... get the picture?

Each of those times, I wanted something very specific, but couldn't find a way to get the ONE thing I wanted, so I got discouraged and quit.

The truth is, I didn't want any of it bad enough. How do I know that I didn't want it bad enough? Because I justified quitting each of my previous attempts, using the exact same reasons that you're giving for wanting to quit. I even came up with more! Family needs me, don't have time, I'm not built for it, I'm too weak, no will power, etc etc.

Here's the bottom line. There is NOBODY on these forums (me included) that can give you the magic words to make something click in your head. Those words come from within you. And you'll hear yourself say them when you have truly had enough, and are ready to make changes. Until then, you'll continue to justify quitting to yourself, and you'll find even more reasons why this isn't working and in your mind, will never work.

It doesn't sound to me like it's your time just yet. You'll know when it is, because there won't be anything on this Earth that can stop you from the goals that you'll set. Save these messages to look back on when that time is upon you, and it will fuel your desires even more.

Best of luck, whatever you decide!

mrsdizzyd84

I will say this, I've seen a couple posts from you where you are really negative and demeaning of yourself. That certainly isn't going to help you reach your goals. You can't beat yourself up and get in your own way all the way to the finish line; eventually you'll fall down. Positive body imagine is not only about toning up your tummy. It's about toning up your mind and your perception of yourself. This can be difficult when we been beaten down (and beat ourselves down) our whole lives, but at the end of the day it's up to us to fix it. The first step is to stop telling ourselves what we can't do and instead focus on what we can do.

As to the atmosphere around here: these forums can be really toxic. There are a few people who post frequently that are extremely negative people that take joy in being mean. Honestly, I'd suggest avoiding the forums unless you can develop a thick skin. Instead, build up a good friends list of positive motivational people and ask your questions there. Good luck.

mollyfw

You bring up an excellent point about what I think of as the privilege of fitness in American society (I assumed you are in the USA). By indicating that your neighborhood is not safe enough for outdoor exercise, and that your home situation is crowded, you may live in a low-income area, regardless of what your personal status is. Academic and public policy studies have shown the availability of high-quality nutritive foods is lower in urban areas, and the opportunity to eat healthfully, such as from the produce aisle of a grocery store, may be nonexistent, as many low-income areas only have access to foods from places like convenience stores and fast food restaurants, which tend to be higher in fat and calories and less nutritive. (A good example is this study from Yale: http://www.yaleruddcenter.org/resources/upload/docs/what/reports/RuddReportAccesstoHealthyFoods2008.pdf).
At the same time, if you also live in an area with high crime, the opportunities for safe, affordable means of exercise, especially for a female, are lower. As HorrorChix pointed out, jogging outside can be a ridiculous prospect in some neighborhoods. Additionally, having the one to two or more hours a day to devote to fitness routines of any kind is more than can be asked of people doing shift work, with multiple jobs, children, parents or siblings to take care of, etc. (This is not an invitation for folks to reply detailing their schedule and how extraordinarily busy they are but still manage to exercise; we get it. Some people still carve out time.) The point is, taken together, all of these factors prove to be a perfect storm in creating and sustaining unhealthy lifestyles and the obesity epidemic. (A good study published by the National Institute of Health on income and health disparities can be read here: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1070714/)
We need to acknowledge that fitness is, in many ways, a privilege in this country, and a cultural phenomenon that I personally have noticed positively correlates with increased income. If you have the time to read and post on regularly on fitness forums, if you have access to a PCC, a Whole Foods, or even just a plain old Safeway or Jewel, if you're doing Jillian Michaels DVD's at home, have access to a gym, or a safe place to jog, congratulations. You're among the lucky citizens of this country who are privileged enough to be fit. If you're not, please don't be discouraged by the inconsiderate and ignorant comments that are thrown your way without so much as a minute's consideration for what the circumstances might be that have lead to and perpetuate your health situation.
In the meantime, you can do this HorrorChix, you've got the fitness and nutritional knowledge that you need to do what you have to do. It won't happen overnight, but advice like Slo83's paired with the passionate attitude you sound like you have will get you to where you want to be in the long run. Sorry for that diatribe. But don't give up.

nancy5012

I certainly hope you do not give up. What ever your weigh goal is, it will take a tremendous effort on your part to get there - and it is not just for the "diet" time - you want to develop habits and a lifestyle you can live with forever. Please trust me on this - it is so much harder the older you get.

You have such a beautiful smile - I hope you can dig deep into your soul and find why you want to lose weight. What is your motivation? Take some time to think about how much you want to do to get there.

I wish you all the best

gabbymom2

Bump...love what you wrote.

jerber160

I'd have the burger now and then... depending on my mood i might just eat half but when I do I don't feel like I'm depriving myself. a mountain dew is only 170 calories... I'd rather have a beer but that's me... and I do indulge myself.. so again I don't feel cheated. hang in there honey and find your balance..... I'm a candy eater too. Perugia baci kisses. mmmmm

trilikeagirl

At 120 lbs, unless you are 3'5", I think it might be ok to chill out, have a cheeseburger for crying out loud, and look at what other areas of your life might feel more meaningful for you to make change in at this point. We all deserve to be happy. Only you have the power to do that for you.:flowerforyou:

bjfmade

Well, you wrote all the cons about being here, now make your list of PROS. You originally came here for a reason and stayed awhile. Nothing worth having is easy, otherwise there wouldn't be sites like this. A person has to fight through all the excuses and just keep trying. It does work, you just have to work at it!
If you aren't picking up what others are laying down, that is okay. Don't take offense to the freedom of speech on here. We are all entitled to our opinions. Do this for yourself, this is a way to change your lifestyle. A way to find things you like doing and eating that will last a life time.
BTW, it does work